Homeschool Sushi Rolls

I have found a great homeschool group in my city.  I won't publicize them in case they want to stay medium-sized, but would be happy to publicize them if they want me to and will email anyone info about them if they would like from the Comments section.  Anyway, they have 4 co-op sessions a year where a parent offers a class on anything and in return their kids can take as many classes as they want.  Some of the classes cost money, like this one was $5 per kid, but they got to take home a bamboo mat and spoon plus the ingredients were amazing (salmon, avocado, mango, cream cheese, cucumber, etc.).

Pokemon Puzzle and Pokemon T-shirt

I found this Pokemon puzzle at a thrift store for one fat buck.  It's 200 pieces, and Michael and Aron sat and worked on it together for some great father/son time.  Of course, the next morning, Eva tore it all apart while I was eating my bon bons and watching my soap operas in the tub (don't tell my husband!), so it's a good thing they took a picture of it!  Below is a picture of Joel with his Pokemon T-shirt on ... he'd just made himself a smoothie and was quite proud of himself!

Amazon has some great Pokémon puzzles. Check them out!

They also have T-shirts!

*Full disclosure: I might get a few cents if you purchase something on Amazon using the links in this post.

Stuff My Dad Says

My dad says, "Heard the starving artists were due to come back to town to sell paintings. I'm taking them down some canned goods and boxes of cereal. Don't give them cash! They'll only spend it on paint and canvas!"

Home Fire Drills

I know it's important to have working smoke detectors in your home, but we'd never had a fire drill until Joel's Cub Scout book made it a priority.  So recently when my niece was over, she directed the boys in a fire drill.  The main message was to STAY LOW ... and have a meeting place at a tree out front!

2010 Census

Yes, I filled out my census.

Then a few weeks later at 5:45 p.m. on a week night, I got a call from the Census People.  The chick started spouting off all kinds of sections and codes and crap that let me know she was allowed to be calling me.  Still, how do I know it was really the Census People?

So let’s assume it was really them.  She wants to take 10 minutes of my time to ask more questions about my household.  I asked her why.  She spouted off more sections and codes instead of just saying something like, “Well, some people are randomly chosen to be asked more questions.”

So I said, “You have my census in front of you?”

She said she did.

I said, “Then you know that I have 5 kids and that you are calling at dinnertime.  I don’t have 10 minutes for you.”

I hung up as she was saying something about needing to set up an appointment to talk with me.  I found out someone I know had the same issue once and the Census People showed up at his house with a badge and everything.

1. Why can’t they randomly choose someone else instead of wasting time tracking down those who don’t want to answer their dang questions?
2. If I’m home during the day with just my kids, you can bet your butt I will not be answering the door to a Census Person.  Except these days my kids are always playing outside and I’m out watching them quite often and the Census Person will probably corner me.  Darnit.

The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands

The first thing I did when my copy of The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger came in the mail was to look for the recipes.  There weren’t any.  How can you put “feeding” in the title and not include some recipes?

So I’m partway into the book and it’s pretty clear I’ll come out the other end knowing how to CARE for my husband so much better than I do now, but I feel gypped because I won’t know how to FEED him any better than I do now.

So it’s back to meatloaf and tacos and tater tot casserole and stir-fry for dinner.  I expected better from you, Dr. Laura.  I expected a recipe for coq au vin or duck a l’orange or baked Alaska.  Or tips on how to balance carbs and proteins.

Just kidding.  I still love you, Dr. L.

The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution

Yeah, baby!  Elizabeth Pantley has come out with her 6th book in the No-Cry series:  The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution.  Others in the series include:  The No-Cry Nap Solution; The No-Cry Sleep Solution; The No-Cry Discipline Solution; The No-Cry Potty Training Solution; The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers.

Here's a brief description of the new book:  "Does it break your heart to leave your crying child at daycare, school, or with a babysitter? Do you worry and wonder how to help and what to do? Nearly all children experience separation anxiety - it's natural - but finding a solution can be difficult. Best-selling parenting author and mother of four, Elizabeth Pantley tackles this sensitive problem with her trademark gentle and respectful ideas.  Using the help of her army of Test Parents, Pantley has created a book filled with solutions. Whether your child is a baby, toddler or first grader, these tried and true techniques will help them to:

* Say goodbye at the door with a smile and a wave and no more tears.

* Conquer anxiety at daycare, school, parties, events and play-dates.

* Go to sleep peacefully - and stay in bed at naptime and bedtime.

* Feel comfortable with caregivers, babysitters, visitors, and other new people.

* Explore new places with joy and confidence.

Best of all, this step-by-step book INCLUDES A FREE MAGIC BRACELET that will help your child feel "magically" safe and secure whenever you're apart. It's just one of the many No-Cry solutions that will help you say goodbye to the stress of saying goodbye-and hello to a stronger, happier child. "

For more information, check out Elizabeth Pantley's web site here.

Ask (or Gripe), and You Shall Receive

Callie and Michael like to have tea parties with a tea set Ellen got Callie for Christmas. Back on April 20 (sorry, but I have to post-date my entries because of that pesky no-Internet-access-at-home thing) they had a tea party.

Dilemma: no cookies.

I was crazy busy (yes, SA [smart a**], it was a little different from every other day) but was willing to make them no-bake drop cookies.

Dilemma: no sugar.

As I’m griping about how I’m not psychic and sugar should have been put on the grocery list, etc., a sweet woman from church came by to drop off some wonderful clothes for my kids, as she does from time to time. Guess what else she brought?

A big tin of chocolate chip cookies.

I almost cried. I saved 3 for Aron, ate a few for my own stress relief purposes, then gave the tin to the kids for their tea party. How cool is that?  Now it's time for some subliminal advertising:
 
You know you want The Kerrie Show in your Inbox every day, so why aren't you signing up for an e-mail subscription over on the right-hand side of her blog?

Can You Overdose on Homeopathic Remedies? No! Homeopathic Bedwetting Tablets and Chiropractic Care for Kids

I carry around with me in the diaper bag 3 bottles of Hyland’s homeopathic goodies: teething tablets, sniffles ‘n’ sneezes tablets, and bedwetting tablets. Each bottle has 125 tiny tablets, and not one of the bottles has a childproof cap on it (but neither does nail polish remover or some bleach, so don’t get me started).

I came downstairs the other day to find Eva sitting on the kitchen table. With an empty bottle of bedwetting tablets.

I’ve always heard a kid could take the whole bottle of anything homeopathic like that and be fine, but just in case I called Poison Control. 

They got a good laugh when I told them, “Well, I guess she won’t be urinating for a good week, huh?” They told me she’d be fine, though.

Side note: I can’t really say if the bedwetting tablets work or not because I wasn’t consistent in giving them to Callie. You’re supposed to give them at every meal and at bedtime, but I could never quite get my crap together enough to do that. It’s easier, quite honestly, to make sure she has on a diaper or Pull-up at bedtime.

Update many years later: honestly, what worked was several visits to the chiropractor and no more bedwetting and also her attitude in general improved. No joke. Not sure why but I'm a believer in chiropractic care now! It also helped Sam when he would cry every car ride ... one gentle adjustment and he was much better.

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Fostering Independence in Kids

I (usually) love when my kids exert some independence and take care of their own needs.  I don't see it as being neglectful ... they are simply learning valuable life skills.  This is a picture of Eva getting her own cereal.  Sometimes they get into things before I realize they've done it, and there's a mess to clean up.  Sometimes I know what their plan is and support them.  Either way, I can almost guarantee that my kids won't be on my health care plan until they are 26 (Lord, I hope not, anyway).  I mean, if my kid can legally get a DUI at the age of 21, can't he/she also pay for his/her own health insurance right out of college SOMEHOW?  I don't expect them to get $100,000/year jobs right out of school, but they have to be able to take care of themselves, even if it means working 2 jobs to pay off school loans and to have health insurance.  Call me crazy, but I don't care ... I've known too many people who have taken care of themselves and I want to put that expectation out there for my own kids and hope it sticks.  I hope it offsets some of the babying I do to them :-)

Easter Pictures 2010

By popular demand, here are some Easter pictures from our day at my mom's.  Don't get too excited now!  Don't you think Sam looks like MiniMe from Austin Powers?  Make up your own caption for this one!

Lego Cake Attempt

This was my attempt to make a Lego cake for Michael's birthday party recently.  What the &^%^ was I thinking? I am like the worst cook in America!

When it was clear it was all messed up, I got upset with myself, but Michael was so cool about it and helped me doctor it up. Next time I'll head here for some really cool, doable cakes!

Chocolate Communion: Choco Discs

 I hope this isn't some sort of blasphemy,talking about Choco Discs as Chocolate Communion.  I dig these little guys ... I get them at Whole Foods and spend way too much on them, but they don't give me a  headache like most of the sugar crap I buy at the regular store.  I just like how they are shaped like a Communion wafer and provide so much spiritual fulfillment.  God knew what He/She was doing when these were created.  I'm actually getting somewhere in my weight loss journey ... the proof is that I bypassed my little chocolate wafer friends the other day when I was at Whole Foods.

If you're a writer type, come on by The WM Freelance Connection to find out how I published my first e-book.

Wooden Trophy Stands for Pinewood Derby Cars and Trophies

I told Aron that when I am a rich writer (forget famous; you can't spend famous) he can quit his job and be a full-time woodworker (not to mention being able to give me daily foot massages and be our full-time cook, as well).

I also told him his woodworking portfolio would be on my blog for his potential clients since I've posted pictures of almost all of his projects.

Here's the latest one: Joel got a trophy for winning 2nd place in our Cub Scout Pinewood Derby recently, and Michael got a ribbon for winning 1st place for siblings, so Aron made them each a stand to hold their car and their award. What a good dad, huh?

Pea Diddy and Literal Kids

We love that Ke$ha song that starts, "I wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy ..." We're not sure what it means to wake up feeling like P. Diddy, but how many other songs do you love that you don't have a clue as to what they are talking about?

So Michael, who is completely literal, comes up with this gem. It's a real live pea dotting the I.

Oh, and once I told my 5-year-old nephew that he was literal and he goes, "No, I'm big."

Administrative Professionals Day

In honor of Administrative Professionals Day I will share with you some of my exciting job history. I used to be a secretary/administrative assistant at a big, international PR firm. I liked it well enough, but I was nearing 27 and mostly just wanted to get married and pop out several babies. So my focus was on my future for sure.

Plus I didn't handle grown adults acting like big old babies too well. Meaning, women in their 60s throwing hissy fits over the fact that their tuna sandwich had onions in it. To my children I would simply say, "Pick them out." For my boss, I had to haul my butt back to the restaurant and get a new one made. And don't even get me started on my MALE bosses. Talk about primadonnas!

Yes, folks, I am much better at working as a homeschooling mom and freelance writer/waitress/cook/housekeeper.

Anarchy rocks and is a good job if you can get it.

Food Art Creations

I love when the kids make art out of food. And yes, this photo explains why I keep stepping on toothpicks. Now I'm off to set off a bug bomb in the house since they tend to come a runnin' when rotting food art is around. Just kidding.

Extra Valium Meals

Okay, stay with me here because this probably won’t make much sense.

One time I was talking about McDonald’s Extra Value Meals and Aron said, “Extra Valium Meals.” I thought that was hilarious and it got the cogs of my mind working. (By the way, anyone remember The Jetsons?)

So I think that in addition to Happy Meals for kids, McDonald’s should also make Extra Valium Meals for parents. The burger would contain crushed-up Valium for a pleasant day. Like an adult Happy Meal.

Sorry about this post. I’m a little slap-happy today.

Field Trip: Kansas City Zoo

A couple of weeks ago I realized our current Kansas City Zoo membership was going to run out in two days, and the weather was going to be amazing, so I decided to head to the zoo with 5 kids.

To save some money, we pack bread, peanut butter and jelly and eat there. We also get the refillable cup for soda when it’s hot or else just bring water. Unfortunately, I forgot sunscreen that sunny day and had to shell out 3 bucks for an ounce, but it saved us some hurtin’ later, so it was worth it.

I realized I am about 15 pounds heavier than I ever have been this long after having a baby. Then I realized it was like I was carrying around an extra Baby Sam all day at the zoo. No wonder my feet hurt so much when I got home. Wah.

Sam hung out in the stroller a little bit, but when he gets tired he’s a real Boobie Baby (just like the 4 kids who came before him) and wants to nurse and crash, so I carried him in the sling quite a bit.

We had a good time, but corralling all the little ones plus the stroller and all our gear was a little stressful for me. Who cares, though, when the kids had such a great time and thanked me all day long for taking them?!

I don’t have much to say about the exhibits since we really only made it to Africa and the little offshoot from Africa where the gorilla and tiger are. It takes us forever to get around anyway, and the tram was only running every 30 minutes (weekday). Hey, I wasn’t gonna walk to Africa at a 2-year-old’s pace, friends!

By the way, the new memberships rock and we bought one: $110 gets you one year of unlimited visits to the zoo (including Boo at the Zoo in October) plus unlimited train, tram and carousel rides. I don’t know about you, but that $100 pays for itself in about 1 visit for my big family. And the unlimited carousel rides (normally $2 per person) will really help me out! Don’t forget that your membership to The Kansas City Zoo also gets you a discount at the gift shop, in case you forget your sunscreen or have to have a stuffed animal.

What do you think of your local zoo? We love St. Louis, Omaha, San Diego, Phoenix and Cheyenne Mountain Zoos.

P.S. The pix aren’t so hot because I FORMATTED MY CAMERA accidentally after I’d taken a cute pic of all 5 kids on a bench. Grrr.

Date Night: BD’s Mongolian BBQ

We only do a date night about twice a year these days. Don’t feel sorry for us, though, because before we had kids we went out to eat everywhere imaginable and had nice, long conversations. I LOVE to eat out and always have, and my favorite time dining out with Aron was during out 2-week vacation in 2000 to New Haven, Martha’s Vineyard, New York City and Maine.

Aron never gripes about us not having much alone time, so when he actually mentions a date, I plan one.

So we went on a Tuesday night to BD's Mongolian BBQ to beat crowds. We got our sweet 12-year-old (young, I know, but she’s very mature) Mother’s Helper from church for the last year to come take care of just the 4 biggest kids. I figure Eva is enough of a handful without our sitter also having to try to get Sam to take a bottle (good luck!), changing his cloth diapers and concentrating on getting him to stop crying if he gets started.

And wouldn’t you like to know what I have to pay a sitter to watch FOUR kids (in her opinion, I’m sure it can never be enough)!

Dumpster Diving

What kind of mother lets her kid climb into the recycle bin to look for entertaining things?

Well, um, me. I do.

Hey, at least he knows to only climb in when someone else is with him and only when it’s over half full so he doesn’t get stuck in there.

And he’s brought home some good stuff that the school recycles, like mini books.

And yes, I'm aware that there might be rats or hypodermic needles in the recycle bin. Maybe he'd better stay out of it.

Is this stealing or good, clean fun?

Carrying Pictures of Your Kids

Do you carry pictures around of your kids? Most people do. Everyone I encounter can whip out a photo of their family. I never used to because my kids were ALWAYS with me. A couple of years ago we had an extra picture of the kids with Santa, so I put it in my wallet, but they all look like Santa just told them they were getting jack squat for Christmas!

Just curious ...

Good Pizza in Kansas City?

Where can you get a good slice of Larry Tate pizza in Kansas City? Probably nowhere.

What is the Larry Tate, you ask? He was the boss on Bewitched, for one thing. He had white hair. So the pizza named after him (found at Two Boots Pizza at Grand Central Station in New York City) has a white sauce, cream cheese, garlic and I think maybe even feta cheese. Two Boots, when are you coming to Kansas City????

Wheat State comes close, as does Minsky’s.

What would a pizza named after you have on it? Mine would probably have baby swiss, baby spinach, baby portabellos, baby everything with tons of cheese and would be called the Dairy Queen.

Happy Birthday, Michael!

Wow! My second child, also my second son, is 7 years old today! Lord, this boy is smart. And he goes with the flow so well. He can stay at home for days and never be bored. He can go out and do activities days in a row and be content. He loves Legos and puzzles. He recently spent the night alone at Poppy and Nana’s, without his big brother. It was a milestone, and he had a great time.

He was ready to move into his own bedroom at our house before his older brother was! And he says the funniest crap, some of which I’ve put on this blog. He used to be pretty quiet but in the last year has really come out of his shell and now alternates between periods of Lego or art concentration and periods of nonstop talking! I'm telling you, this boy will make one hell of an engineer or artist or anything he wants to be.

I love you so much, Michael! I can't wait for the next year with you, my sweet boy!

How to Welcome New Neighbors

The “For Rent” sign came down the other day, and I immediately had my oldest kid (Joel) on the case to find out who our new neighbors were going to be. I told him the next time he saw the owners of the house to ask them who would be living next door to/behind us (we’re on a corner).

Soon after, Joel came in and told me the renters were a couple with a 5-year-old son. Immediately I’m like, “Oh, crap! People with only one kid usually think someone like me is a nutcase and they like to point out things like how stained my kids’ clothes are and how their hair needs brushing.” Wait! My own MOTHER is a person with only one kid and SHE does those things!!!!

Once they are all moved in, I plan to put on my best sweatpants, put in my best dentures, take over a muffin basket (yeah, right) and give them my mommy/business card. I’ll say, “If you want to read about yourselves, check my blog periodically. By the way, can I borrow your Internet connection? And when can you babysit?”

On Being the Mom of 5 Little Kids

Tresa says I have a high tolerance for being touched. Most moms can’t handle so much touching all day long, I suppose. But while I’m okay with the touching, the noise AND the mess, my downfall is the mental energy it takes to decide, all day long, who most needs my attention at any one moment. When I go to bed, I feel like I’ve worked triage at an ER for 14 hours.

And it also drives me nuts when I’m in the middle of a thought and it is constantly cut off by someone wanting me to watch them or listen to them or help them or feed them or the thoughts that creep in about how I should be doing dishes or laundry or making a meal or making a dental appointment or working on the budget or worrying about something or preparing for SOMETHING.

And don’t you dare suggest I shouldn’t have had so many kids because I can handle them all quite well, thank you. I think I’m a great mom for growing up as an only child who had all kinds of peace and quiet and never had to share bites of her food. Every now and then I’ll snap at one of the kids for taking my food, but that’s only when I’m eating a costly Weight Watchers meal and every bite counts and they are skinny little things who could eat sticks of butter and not gain weight!

99% of the time I just can’t believe how [I don’t even have a word that explains the wonderfulness of it all] lucky/blessed/fortunate I am to have this life. When I was in an abusive marriage at the age of 19 I never thought I would have ANY of this. I wished and hoped and prayed for it, but I’m not sure I quite believed it would all happen.

So no, I don’t have all these kids because the Pope tells me I can’t use artificial birth control. And I don’t have them because I don’t know what causes pregnancy. And I don’t have them for the attention, because I can tell you it gets old being looked at like a breeder cow sometimes when I bring 5 or more kids into a play area or to a park.

I have all these kids because I am in love with each and every one of them. They were each planned and wanted. I’m just saying I still have the right to gripe, just like any mom of 2 kids, about the hard emotional and physical and mental work of raising kids.

Stupid Effing Show or Blog

My poor thoughts are so used to be interrupted that lately they just go away on their own BEFORE they can be interrupted, like they are protecting themselves. Then they come back in the middle of the night as things like “I’m such a jerk … I just remembered I was supposed to email that friend of mine from high school like 2 weekends ago” and “Wouldn’t it be cool is there was a TV show called ‘Stupid Effing Show’?”

And you’d say to your mom, “I have to go watch my stupid effing show.” Or “Mom, go watch your stupid effing show”

Instead of “The Kerrie Show” I should’ve named this blog “Stupid Effing Blog.”

Silence of My Lambs

Don’t you love that time of night when your family is all settled in?

Maybe you’re single and your favorite time of the day is when work is over, dinner is over, the dishes are done (or not!) and you snuggle up with a good book, a movie, a TV show, a friend.

Maybe it’s just you and your spouse and you like sitting in your matching recliners while one of you watches TV and one of you sews a quilt.

For me, it’s around 9 p.m. when Sam is asleep on my shoulder and I’ve either put Eva to sleep in bed or she’s crashed out on the couch. The 3 older kids are watching a movie that just came from NetFlix (something like Astro Boy or something Dora-ish). Aron is either watching the movie with them or he’s working on something in his woodshop.

And I can relax in the silence. I write, read, watch TV with them, bug Aron. All winter I basically went to bed at 9, though, because we had a hard winter and I’d just had a baby. Soon it will still be light at 9 p.m., I’ll be more active during the day and I’ll be wired til 11 and will pray myself to sleep.

Houses for Rent in Kansas City

So the neighbors who were renting next door have moved out and the house is now ready for the next set of people. It’s a very nice house and is across from an elementary school, so lots of people have been stopping by to look at it.

If someone looks too hoity toity to live next door to me (meaning someone who is not exactly like me as far as being the coolest person on the planet), I send the kids out to the deck to yell things in a backwoods accent like, “Welcome to Hillbilly Homeschool High.”

Or

“Are you renting because of a bankruptcy or a fear of commitment?”

Because I never know who is reading this blog, I have to say to the landlords of this house that I am partially kidding, but that someone who lives next to a house full of kids needs to be able to handle it. And I have to say to people who are over 40 years old and renting houses that I have nothing against you and don’t feel superior to you. In fact, someone once said something to me about how there are many benefits to renting instead of owning. If you are that person, please expand upon that sentiment in the Comments section, please, because I’m nothing if not open-minded!

Hoppy Easter, by the way!

How to Make a Baby Book

Holy crap, I found a few minutes to myself where I wasn’t taking care of someone else, nursing or writing. Well, not exactly to myself. Sam was in the bouncy seat next to me and Eva was looking at her baby album next to me and the other kids were playing in the March 20 (first day of spring, my arse) SNOW with a friend.

So I did this:


I started Sam’s baby album! I ordered it from Creative Memories forever ago. I have the same 8 ½ x 11 albums for each of the kids, and am fairly caught up. Sam’s will be hard, and I suppose I’ve been putting it off. I mean, I’ll have holes where he wasn’t at the hospital with me, and I’ll have extra pages of NICU photos, but it will still be his baby book.

And it doesn’t have to be perfect. If you’re still wanting to put together a baby book for your kid(s) and are afraid it won’t look amazing so you haven’t even started, just go for it. Whip it together … get the pictures on pages and write some stuff down next to them that you remember.

Baby Powder: Evil or Funny???

If you’re a recent parent, you know baby powder is evil. It can get in the kid’s lungs and kill him or her on the spot.

Just kidding.

I actually still use baby powder sometimes. I hope it doesn’t cause lung cancer or infertility or anything like that.

So I’m putting some on Eva the other day and Michael says, “Why are you putting powdered sugar on her? Are you going to eat her?”

I said, “That’s now powdered SUGAR; it’s powdered CHEESE. I’m putting it on her TACO.”

We are so weird at my house. Couldn’t get through this parenting journey without a sense of humor.

Self Potty Training

I love when Eva takes off her diaper and brings it to me for review, like a cat brings a dead mouse or bunny or bird to its owner.

I’m like, “Just throw it in the trash! I don’t need to check it out first. What, do you want credit for it or something?”

Serotonin Deficiency Linked to SIDS

So the whole Back to Sleep campaign was a bunch of crap it seems. The most recent studies say SIDS is linked to a serotonin deficiency in babies.

Sleeping on the belly got a bad rap, even though 9 out of 10 babies surveyed prefer it. Sleeping on the back only worked a bit better to save a few babies because babies don’t like being on their back and wake up easier because they’re uncomfortable.

The Family Bed also got a bad rap, even though most parents who do it are totally responsible and not drunk or fat and actually wake up if they hear their kid having trouble breathing.

Do should we screen for serotonin deficiency at birth? If a kid is deficient, do we give them a shot of it? Interesting turn of events.

Giveaway: Whole Foods Dark Chocolate Coffee Beans (7 ounce package)

I discovered these little gems when we went on our Whole Foods tour over Spring Break. I’ve always loved chocolate-covered coffee beans (I’ll eat just about ANYTHING if it’s covered in chocolate), so I grabbed a 7-ounce package of Dark Chocolate Coffee Beans at Whole Foods and love ‘em.

The bonus is that the kids don’t like them, so I don’t have to even worry about hiding them. And I only need a few a day to almost replace my coffee habit. Forget Red Bull … these little babies give you a nice buzz! At $4 per package, it’s a steal!

So I’m sharing with 1 lucky bloggie friend! Lots of chances to win; all you have to do is:

1. Leave me a comment … if you have to be Anonymous, leave me your first name and email, please.

2. For a bonus entry, put a link on your blog telling about this giveaway and come back here to let me know you did it.

3. For another entry, sign up for an email subscription to my blog on the right-hand side of the screen.

4. For yet ANOTHER entry, become a Follower of my blog on the right-hand side of the screen.

5. For another shot at winning, follow me on Twitter (it doesn’t count if you already follow me) at mommykerrie.

IMPORTANT: Don’t forget to leave me your e-mail address so I can contact you if you win. I’d leave it in this format so you don’t get Spam: mommykerrie at yahoo dot com.

Field Trip: Whole Foods Tour

On the 19th we went on a great field trip to Whole Foods with another family from our homeschool group. I was able to leave my girls home with my mom, so it was nice to be able to just take the boys and do some grocery shopping and then do the tour and THEN some more grocery shopping!

We got some sort of horned fruit (kiwano horned melon???), Shatto chocolate milk, granola for parfaits, a block of the best smoked mozzarella I’ve ever had in my life, some Odwalla bars (easy breakfast for me) and our staple Veggie Straws and dark chocolate discs.

I chalked all these expenses up to “education” and figure a Catholic school education would be more costly than buying a few items at a grocery store. Besides, we usually shop at Aldi, which is super cheap.

At the end of the tour, the kids got to make a healthy granola, blueberry and yogurt parfait. They got a bag of goodies, including a kiwi fruit, a juice box and a sample of organic fruit snacks.

Now I really want to write an article on how to feed your kids organic, healthy foods on the cheap. I wish I could easily contact Kate Gosselin (Jon and Kate Plus Eight) because I saw her shop at a Whole Foods-type place on the cheap for 8 kids … lots of coupons and rain checks helped. Kate, if you Google Alert yourself, CAWL ME … I’d love to interview you.

Ways to Celebrate Lent

Yep, I’m one of those Crazy Roman Catholics (we call ourselves “RCs” in house; my aunt lovingly calls us “fish eaters”). I became Catholic in 1999, AFTER getting married. I went through the conversion process (9 months) and then decided I wasn’t ready; didn’t want to convert JUST because I was marrying a Catholic. I went through the process again and decided I was ready.

I get asked about how we celebrate Lent a lot, so here’s just one example.

I got an e-mail from Scooter’s Coffeehouse (there’s one right up the street where, like at Cheers, everybody knows my name). During March they have an offer where you get a Coffee Passport and sample 7 different coffees within a month from 7 different countries. Then you get a $10 gift card. Basically I’d need to spend about $35 (including tip) to get $10. Normally I’d jump at this, but during Lent I’m rethinking some things.

I decided to instead take that $35 I almost blew and put it into our Rice Bowl (a little cardboard bowl you pick up at church before Lent starts).

From the bottom of the Rice Bowl: “75% of your gifts to Operation Rice Bowl come to Catholic Relief Services to fund development projects overseas and Lenten education efforts in the U.S. 25% remains in dioceses in the U.S. to support local hunger and poverty alleviation.”

Not a major sacrifice, I know, but big for me. In keeping with the idea of helping the hungry, I could also go down to Harvester’s and help pack up food (would they let me in with a nursing sling baby?).

I welcome more ideas of how to help the hungry in more hands-on ways while keeping at least a couple of the kids with me so they can also help and learn. Leave me some info in the Comments section, please!

Messy Homeschool Bookshelf AFTER Picture

Okay, fine. Here’s the AFTER picture of my messy bookshelf. And no, smarty pants, I didn’t just move everything out of view of the camera! Here’s what I did, because I bet you have a messy bookshelf, too, especially if you homeschool:

1. I got rid of some workbooks or stored them in a homeschool tub in the basement.

2. I put the dictionary, thesaurus and writing books on my desk shelf instead.

3. I put the scrapbooking projects in my bedroom closet until I can devote a chunk of time to them.

4. I called my mother-in-law to see if she has any coloring books at her house for grandkids who come over. She actually needed some!

5. I put the tin of games in our hall closet with other games.

6. I could only part with 2 books, but moved a few to another bookshelf that had some room on it.

7. I realized some of the stuff belonged solely to the boys (Pokemon books, Zoobooks magazines) and put them on a shelf in the boys’ closet.

8. I put the worksheets I’d been storing in file folders on the bookshelf into the file cabinet (had to clear space out of that first, of course).

9. I put things I want to work on with the kids into their respective homeschool baskets and set a goal to teach those things before the end of the school year.

10. The magazines now live in my overflowing writing drawer (a project for another day).

11. The Christmas folder got moved to my computer desk since I do need it from time to time to jot down ideas for people.

I was even able to add their art kits and a box of Legos. Ah, my bookshelf can BREATHE now! And I don’t feel so overwhelmed. Now, on to the project of getting new pictures printed for those frames on the top shelf …

Sexual Compulsion as DISEASE???

Okay, so we’ve established that alcoholism is possibly a disease. So how about sexual compulsion? Is it some chemical problem in the brain or just bad behavior? Or a bad habit? Or what? I mean, overeating is a big problem, too. But I have to have food. If I stop food altogether, I will die. But if I never have sex again I will be fine. If a guy never has sex again (even with himself), he will not blow up.

Can’t wait for the opinions on this one.

By the way, there is a great program called Covenant Eyes that you can load onto your computers for accountability for someone who may have a problem with Internet porn. They have an accountability partner who sees their Internet report for the week (the sites they've gone to, what time of day, etc.). For the family members who don't have a porn problem, they just have a different login and no accountability partner.

Life Skills Versus Cursive/State Capitals

If you’re a teacher reading this, take your laptop to the toilet or put on a diaper because you’re going to crap your pants.

I think life skills are more useful to teach than cursive or state capitals.

When I went to Richie Rich Elementary School (aka Westwood View) in 6th grade there was this ONE day where we got to do some cool elective. Somehow I got into this class where they were making crepes. It was awesome to get out of the normal doldrums of class AND to make something I live for: food.

So on the Homeschool Grid for my boys, I’m crossing off Handwriting and changing that set of boxes to Life Skills. They have handwriting down pat and practice it daily in their workbooks. They play around with cursive when they feel like it. State capitals will come, but won’t be drilled into their heads so they forget as soon as summer comes.

Joel already knows how to make a microwave egg, omelets and toast, how to clean a bathroom and vacuum, how to work the VCR and DVD players. In the future we’ll do budgeting, checkbook balancing, oil changing in the van, gardening and staying out of debt.

And I’m not being judgmental of parents of kids in school here … we all know they (and the kids) are too wiped out by the end of the day (and THEN have to struggle with stupid homework … don’t get me started) to even contemplate teaching life skills.

God bless ‘em, somehow my parents taught me how to balance a checkbook, pay my own car insurance and tickets and buy 2 cars of my own before I was 18. Of course, I was an Only Child, which is a whole ‘nother story.

Can you think of some Life Skills kids that are not being taught before kids graduate into the real world?

Messy Homeschool Bookshelves

Does this bookshelf look messy to you? If so, does the excuse count that I have 5 kids? How about the excuse that I homeschool?

Yeah, you’re probably right … I need to get rid of some stuff. I mean, how many of those workbooks do we really even use? Real-life experience is so much better at teaching sometimes anyway. And how many of those books do we read over and over again? How many of them could we just get at the library if we were dying to read them? And how many coloring books does a kid need (I’ve already given away a bunch)?

What are those baskets on the middle shelf, you ask? They are Michael and Joel’s homeschooling baskets. They hold their workbooks, projects, books they’re reading, stuff they don’t want their sister to get into. Yeah, I don’t know how I’m going to someday fit FIVE baskets on those shelves, but I think it’s a good problem to have.

That tub is full of rubber stamps and markers … more stuff we don’t want The Littles to get into.

On top is my fault … my attempts to catch up on baby books and scrapbooking. Oh, and a container of magazines.

That blue folder laying down under the tub is my Christmas stuff: catalogs, ideas for the kids, Christmas letters, budgets, etc.

It’s dangerous. The other day I reached for something and a bunch of stuff fell and almost bonked Sam on the head.

The Lego Monster

My kids love Legos. Eva loves destroying the creations. I hate stepping on them. This is a picture of Michael with a Lego creation he made and the instruction booklet he made to go with it. I think I need to start keeping the instruction booklets for the Lego stuff (Atlantis, Star Wars, power miners, etc.) in a binder in page protectors or something.

How do you tame the Lego monster?

Bedwetting Over the Age of 5

I took Callie to the doctor for her "kindergarten" checkup and vaccines. The doctor wanted to know if she was fully potty-trained. I told him she still wets the bed some. I didn't express that it was a problem, but he suggested all kind of stuff, from bed alarms to medication.

The thing is, I know lots of people with kids who wet the bed. Some of these kids are approaching 10. I don't want to medicate her to dry up her bladder. She just sleeps heavy. I never had any problems with the boys, and I know everybody is different, so I'm not worried about it. It will stop eventually. She is dry during the day and never has accidents during the day.

Does your older kid wet the bed? Suggestions?

Disciplining Parents

The other day Eva, who is 2, says in a menacing tone to me:

"Mommy. NOW. One, two, ten."

Where did she learn that? I never COUNT as discipline!

Underdressed Kids ... Let Them be Comfortable! #LazyParentsGuideToLife

Do you care what your kids wear?

Sometimes I do, like when we go to church. I make sure they have on a decent shirt and pants (not jammie pants and not sweatpants and not even jeans).

Sometimes I do, depending on WHO I’m going to be around. Like if we’re going to be around a bunch of people who are ridiculously judgmental and would call The State on me for mal-dressed kids, I make them wear normal clothes.

Otherwise, I plead “part of why we homeschool is so we don’t have to worry about dress codes and wearing what everyone else is wearing.”

Like when we went to the first day of our parks and rec homeschool art class. I knew there would be dressed up Duggars there, but my boys are most comfy in loose-fitting pants with designs on them that closely resemble jammies. Besides, it’s ART CLASS … they’re gonna get messy!

We had a doctor appointment right after that and I had to take all 5 kids and didn’t have time for them to change clothes, so I took them to the doc in their comfy clothes, too. Normally that’s a place where I want them to look a little nicer, but that day I just didn’t have the brain power to care.

I mean, other than wearing their jammies in public (like you wish YOU could), my kids are happy, healthy, clean, well-educated, well-exercised and well-fed and are just generally good kids.

I can’t wait for Anonymous to comment about how I’m a lazy parent, to which I will pre-respond that I (literally) wrote the (e-)book on lazy parenting and am currently tweaking it, so I agree with you.

UPDATE as of April 23, 2016, still working on it .... haha!

And as of January 31, 2020, I have not had time to work on it! Moved to the country and too busy keeping up with homeschooling, a house, a pool, friends, family and fun!

When Children Die

My friend Eva recently told me that the friend of a friend just had a baby who had meconium aspiration like my baby Sam had when he was born. This baby was in the NICU a couple of days, and then he died.

This story haunts me. I keep asking myself this impossible question that I will not know the answer to until I’m dead: “Why did my baby live and her baby died?” It’s not like I’m a better person than that baby’s mother. I’m certainly not more worthy.

A few weeks later at gymnastics class I met a woman who told me she had 4 kids, but one had passed away only 8 months earlier. And she’s pregnant again. Her son was 3 ½ when he wandered into their pool … a pool that normally had all gates locked and an alarm system. I didn’t get all the details because I didn’t want to pry too much on our first meeting. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so I told her I was sorry and that she’s amazing and congratulations on the new baby. I savored a little book of photos she had of her son.

They’re in the process of tearing up the pool. She came upon Hell and couldn’t go around it. She had to go through it. She is amazing because she came out the other side. She’s trying to live a normal life, taking her kids to gymnastics (among other things), when I’m sure she would much rather crawl into her bed and stay there all day, every day.

She mentioned getting together sometime. I gave her my “mommy card” (my business card with email, phone and web site). She told me she’s writing a book about her experience of the first year after a child dies. I believe there is a reason for everything. For sure these days I’m seeing my kids differently, taking them less for granted. What if today is the last day of life for one of my kids? Accidents happen all the time.

I still look at Sam and wonder what I would have done if he had died. We never know how we’ll respond to something like that. Divorce often ensues. Relationships with the other children are damaged. It’s hard to comprehend that the dead one is most likely better off than we are; happier, at peace, looking down on us or hanging out among us wanting us to live life to the fullest and probably not wanting us to let the death envelop us.

Thank you to that mom for sharing her story with me. And now I’m sharing it with you. Maybe you want to share it with a mom you know. Or maybe you want to go eat a pint of ice cream. Now go hug your kids.

Google Pictures of My Freaking House

Aron just left a message to close the front shades because the Google van is driving around taking pictures and I probably don’t want them getting a photo of me breastfeeding in my own home. I hate that they take pictures of houses. How dumb. I called him back and told him, “Thanks for my next blog post because that is too funny!”

I already have pictures they took of my house, by the way. My dad found it when he was messing around one day looking for pictures of where I was born and where we lived in Germany in 1970 and 1971. Anyway, on both photos they have the wrong address typed on the top, so I don’t know how anybody finds what they’re looking for anyway!

Back to Sleep Campaign

Okay, so if you're a GOOD PARENT you put your baby on his/her back to sleep, right? I mean, if you don't want your baby to DIE of SIDS, you put your baby on his/her back. RIGHT?

Or did you?

In my vast experience, babies seem to want to sleep on their stomachs. They feel all cozy, snuggled up to the mattress. If you lay them on their back they do that funny thing where their arms splay out to their sides and they often wake up.

Feel free to post as Anonymous on this one. No judgments from me since we have had a family bed for over 8 years (and nobody has ever even come close to suffocating or dying). I'm just curious about what you're actually doing. People don't talk about it much because they don't want to be perceived as "bad parents" if their kid sleeps on the belly.

And yes, the post is coming up on SIDS being linked to a serotonin deficiency. Be patient.

Women and Financial Responsibility

Recently on one of my favorite shows that my mom tapes for me, The Real Housewives of Orange County, Lynne was mad at her husband that she and her family got evicted from their $10,000 a month home they had just moved into. She was mad at her husband that he didn't tell her that he didn't have the money to pay the $10,000 deposit and so he simply hid it from her.

Here's the thing ...

I know what's going on with the bills in my house, and we aren't talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars.

And ... I think that if Lynne knew they were having financial problems, she would have held off on her (unnecessary) facelift and the nose job for her 19-year-old daughter. I think she is a reasonable woman that way.

I think a husband who tries to give his wife EVERYTHING even when he can't afford it is a D.A. (remember how I can't cuss on here anymore b/c I've sold out to Coupons.com, a family-friendly advertising venue?).

What do you think? Do you watch this show? Do you think I am shallow for watching this show? Do you think I really care what you think about my TV habits? Do you know what's going on with the bills in your house? Are you on something right now? Do you want to be?

Yoo Hoo and Friends

Eva calls these little stuffed animals (that make different noises when you squeeze the belly) “Fens” because she can't say "Friends."

Joel discovered his first one in Branson when we were on vacation and got 2 more from my dad and stepmom for Christmas. Dad and Nancy, being awesome, also got one for each of the other kids. So now they have a club. Little do they know, my aunt Ginny found 4 more, and that's what the Easter bunny is bringing.

Sometimes Joel gets made fun of for carrying 3 of them around in his shirt like they are his babies. He’s an 8-year-old boy and is expected to act a certain way, you know. But I think it’s sweet that he can shoot a huge Nerf gun while toting his babies around. He’s gonna snag a cool wife, I’m thinking.

Nosey Nursing NICU Baby

Since Sam had to stay in the NICU for a week after he was born (and I had an infection as well), and my milk didn’t come in for a while, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to nurse him as I had my other kids. I was ready to actually buy my first-ever can of formula (all the other cans over the years had been free samples) and let other people feed him most of the time. I have to admit it was nice to have a break every now and then from trying to nurse nonstop and to have his brothers or sisters or another family member or friend give him a bottle of formula.

But then days went by when he wouldn’t get a bottle, and now it’s been weeks. I have to time my outings carefully or else take him with me when I go places (like to see the movie “Up in the Air” or go grocery shopping). And it’s just fine.

Now he’s almost 5 months old and if I nurse him to get him to sleep because *I* have something to do (homeschool, relax, etc.), he doesn’t always cooperate. Often he would rather wiggle around and stare at the world and see what he can come up with in his hand when he does a quick grab at the air.

I still marvel daily at the fact that he is even alive.