Wednesday, April 7, 2010

On Being the Mom of 5 Little Kids

Tresa says I have a high tolerance for being touched. Most moms can’t handle so much touching all day long, I suppose. But while I’m okay with the touching, the noise AND the mess, my downfall is the mental energy it takes to decide, all day long, who most needs my attention at any one moment. When I go to bed, I feel like I’ve worked triage at an ER for 14 hours.

And it also drives me nuts when I’m in the middle of a thought and it is constantly cut off by someone wanting me to watch them or listen to them or help them or feed them or the thoughts that creep in about how I should be doing dishes or laundry or making a meal or making a dental appointment or working on the budget or worrying about something or preparing for SOMETHING.

And don’t you dare suggest I shouldn’t have had so many kids because I can handle them all quite well, thank you. I think I’m a great mom for growing up as an only child who had all kinds of peace and quiet and never had to share bites of her food. Every now and then I’ll snap at one of the kids for taking my food, but that’s only when I’m eating a costly Weight Watchers meal and every bite counts and they are skinny little things who could eat sticks of butter and not gain weight!

99% of the time I just can’t believe how [I don’t even have a word that explains the wonderfulness of it all] lucky/blessed/fortunate I am to have this life. When I was in an abusive marriage at the age of 19 I never thought I would have ANY of this. I wished and hoped and prayed for it, but I’m not sure I quite believed it would all happen.

So no, I don’t have all these kids because the Pope tells me I can’t use artificial birth control. And I don’t have them because I don’t know what causes pregnancy. And I don’t have them for the attention, because I can tell you it gets old being looked at like a breeder cow sometimes when I bring 5 or more kids into a play area or to a park.

I have all these kids because I am in love with each and every one of them. They were each planned and wanted. I’m just saying I still have the right to gripe, just like any mom of 2 kids, about the hard emotional and physical and mental work of raising kids.