Giveaway: Whole Foods Dark Chocolate Coffee Beans (7 ounce package)

I discovered these little gems when we went on our Whole Foods tour over Spring Break. I’ve always loved chocolate-covered coffee beans (I’ll eat just about ANYTHING if it’s covered in chocolate), so I grabbed a 7-ounce package of Dark Chocolate Coffee Beans at Whole Foods and love ‘em.

The bonus is that the kids don’t like them, so I don’t have to even worry about hiding them. And I only need a few a day to almost replace my coffee habit. Forget Red Bull … these little babies give you a nice buzz! At $4 per package, it’s a steal!

So I’m sharing with 1 lucky bloggie friend! Lots of chances to win; all you have to do is:

1. Leave me a comment … if you have to be Anonymous, leave me your first name and email, please.

2. For a bonus entry, put a link on your blog telling about this giveaway and come back here to let me know you did it.

3. For another entry, sign up for an email subscription to my blog on the right-hand side of the screen.

4. For yet ANOTHER entry, become a Follower of my blog on the right-hand side of the screen.

5. For another shot at winning, follow me on Twitter (it doesn’t count if you already follow me) at mommykerrie.

IMPORTANT: Don’t forget to leave me your e-mail address so I can contact you if you win. I’d leave it in this format so you don’t get Spam: mommykerrie at yahoo dot com.

Field Trip: Whole Foods Tour

On the 19th we went on a great field trip to Whole Foods with another family from our homeschool group. I was able to leave my girls home with my mom, so it was nice to be able to just take the boys and do some grocery shopping and then do the tour and THEN some more grocery shopping!

We got some sort of horned fruit (kiwano horned melon???), Shatto chocolate milk, granola for parfaits, a block of the best smoked mozzarella I’ve ever had in my life, some Odwalla bars (easy breakfast for me) and our staple Veggie Straws and dark chocolate discs.

I chalked all these expenses up to “education” and figure a Catholic school education would be more costly than buying a few items at a grocery store. Besides, we usually shop at Aldi, which is super cheap.

At the end of the tour, the kids got to make a healthy granola, blueberry and yogurt parfait. They got a bag of goodies, including a kiwi fruit, a juice box and a sample of organic fruit snacks.

Now I really want to write an article on how to feed your kids organic, healthy foods on the cheap. I wish I could easily contact Kate Gosselin (Jon and Kate Plus Eight) because I saw her shop at a Whole Foods-type place on the cheap for 8 kids … lots of coupons and rain checks helped. Kate, if you Google Alert yourself, CAWL ME … I’d love to interview you.

Ways to Celebrate Lent

Yep, I’m one of those Crazy Roman Catholics (we call ourselves “RCs” in house; my aunt lovingly calls us “fish eaters”). I became Catholic in 1999, AFTER getting married. I went through the conversion process (9 months) and then decided I wasn’t ready; didn’t want to convert JUST because I was marrying a Catholic. I went through the process again and decided I was ready.

I get asked about how we celebrate Lent a lot, so here’s just one example.

I got an e-mail from Scooter’s Coffeehouse (there’s one right up the street where, like at Cheers, everybody knows my name). During March they have an offer where you get a Coffee Passport and sample 7 different coffees within a month from 7 different countries. Then you get a $10 gift card. Basically I’d need to spend about $35 (including tip) to get $10. Normally I’d jump at this, but during Lent I’m rethinking some things.

I decided to instead take that $35 I almost blew and put it into our Rice Bowl (a little cardboard bowl you pick up at church before Lent starts).

From the bottom of the Rice Bowl: “75% of your gifts to Operation Rice Bowl come to Catholic Relief Services to fund development projects overseas and Lenten education efforts in the U.S. 25% remains in dioceses in the U.S. to support local hunger and poverty alleviation.”

Not a major sacrifice, I know, but big for me. In keeping with the idea of helping the hungry, I could also go down to Harvester’s and help pack up food (would they let me in with a nursing sling baby?).

I welcome more ideas of how to help the hungry in more hands-on ways while keeping at least a couple of the kids with me so they can also help and learn. Leave me some info in the Comments section, please!

Messy Homeschool Bookshelf AFTER Picture

Okay, fine. Here’s the AFTER picture of my messy bookshelf. And no, smarty pants, I didn’t just move everything out of view of the camera! Here’s what I did, because I bet you have a messy bookshelf, too, especially if you homeschool:

1. I got rid of some workbooks or stored them in a homeschool tub in the basement.

2. I put the dictionary, thesaurus and writing books on my desk shelf instead.

3. I put the scrapbooking projects in my bedroom closet until I can devote a chunk of time to them.

4. I called my mother-in-law to see if she has any coloring books at her house for grandkids who come over. She actually needed some!

5. I put the tin of games in our hall closet with other games.

6. I could only part with 2 books, but moved a few to another bookshelf that had some room on it.

7. I realized some of the stuff belonged solely to the boys (Pokemon books, Zoobooks magazines) and put them on a shelf in the boys’ closet.

8. I put the worksheets I’d been storing in file folders on the bookshelf into the file cabinet (had to clear space out of that first, of course).

9. I put things I want to work on with the kids into their respective homeschool baskets and set a goal to teach those things before the end of the school year.

10. The magazines now live in my overflowing writing drawer (a project for another day).

11. The Christmas folder got moved to my computer desk since I do need it from time to time to jot down ideas for people.

I was even able to add their art kits and a box of Legos. Ah, my bookshelf can BREATHE now! And I don’t feel so overwhelmed. Now, on to the project of getting new pictures printed for those frames on the top shelf …

Sexual Compulsion as DISEASE???

Okay, so we’ve established that alcoholism is possibly a disease. So how about sexual compulsion? Is it some chemical problem in the brain or just bad behavior? Or a bad habit? Or what? I mean, overeating is a big problem, too. But I have to have food. If I stop food altogether, I will die. But if I never have sex again I will be fine. If a guy never has sex again (even with himself), he will not blow up.

Can’t wait for the opinions on this one.

By the way, there is a great program called Covenant Eyes that you can load onto your computers for accountability for someone who may have a problem with Internet porn. They have an accountability partner who sees their Internet report for the week (the sites they've gone to, what time of day, etc.). For the family members who don't have a porn problem, they just have a different login and no accountability partner.

Life Skills Versus Cursive/State Capitals

If you’re a teacher reading this, take your laptop to the toilet or put on a diaper because you’re going to crap your pants.

I think life skills are more useful to teach than cursive or state capitals.

When I went to Richie Rich Elementary School (aka Westwood View) in 6th grade there was this ONE day where we got to do some cool elective. Somehow I got into this class where they were making crepes. It was awesome to get out of the normal doldrums of class AND to make something I live for: food.

So on the Homeschool Grid for my boys, I’m crossing off Handwriting and changing that set of boxes to Life Skills. They have handwriting down pat and practice it daily in their workbooks. They play around with cursive when they feel like it. State capitals will come, but won’t be drilled into their heads so they forget as soon as summer comes.

Joel already knows how to make a microwave egg, omelets and toast, how to clean a bathroom and vacuum, how to work the VCR and DVD players. In the future we’ll do budgeting, checkbook balancing, oil changing in the van, gardening and staying out of debt.

And I’m not being judgmental of parents of kids in school here … we all know they (and the kids) are too wiped out by the end of the day (and THEN have to struggle with stupid homework … don’t get me started) to even contemplate teaching life skills.

God bless ‘em, somehow my parents taught me how to balance a checkbook, pay my own car insurance and tickets and buy 2 cars of my own before I was 18. Of course, I was an Only Child, which is a whole ‘nother story.

Can you think of some Life Skills kids that are not being taught before kids graduate into the real world?

Messy Homeschool Bookshelves

Does this bookshelf look messy to you? If so, does the excuse count that I have 5 kids? How about the excuse that I homeschool?

Yeah, you’re probably right … I need to get rid of some stuff. I mean, how many of those workbooks do we really even use? Real-life experience is so much better at teaching sometimes anyway. And how many of those books do we read over and over again? How many of them could we just get at the library if we were dying to read them? And how many coloring books does a kid need (I’ve already given away a bunch)?

What are those baskets on the middle shelf, you ask? They are Michael and Joel’s homeschooling baskets. They hold their workbooks, projects, books they’re reading, stuff they don’t want their sister to get into. Yeah, I don’t know how I’m going to someday fit FIVE baskets on those shelves, but I think it’s a good problem to have.

That tub is full of rubber stamps and markers … more stuff we don’t want The Littles to get into.

On top is my fault … my attempts to catch up on baby books and scrapbooking. Oh, and a container of magazines.

That blue folder laying down under the tub is my Christmas stuff: catalogs, ideas for the kids, Christmas letters, budgets, etc.

It’s dangerous. The other day I reached for something and a bunch of stuff fell and almost bonked Sam on the head.

The Lego Monster

My kids love Legos. Eva loves destroying the creations. I hate stepping on them. This is a picture of Michael with a Lego creation he made and the instruction booklet he made to go with it. I think I need to start keeping the instruction booklets for the Lego stuff (Atlantis, Star Wars, power miners, etc.) in a binder in page protectors or something.

How do you tame the Lego monster?

Bedwetting Over the Age of 5

I took Callie to the doctor for her "kindergarten" checkup and vaccines. The doctor wanted to know if she was fully potty-trained. I told him she still wets the bed some. I didn't express that it was a problem, but he suggested all kind of stuff, from bed alarms to medication.

The thing is, I know lots of people with kids who wet the bed. Some of these kids are approaching 10. I don't want to medicate her to dry up her bladder. She just sleeps heavy. I never had any problems with the boys, and I know everybody is different, so I'm not worried about it. It will stop eventually. She is dry during the day and never has accidents during the day.

Does your older kid wet the bed? Suggestions?

Disciplining Parents

The other day Eva, who is 2, says in a menacing tone to me:

"Mommy. NOW. One, two, ten."

Where did she learn that? I never COUNT as discipline!

Underdressed Kids ... Let Them be Comfortable! #LazyParentsGuideToLife

Do you care what your kids wear?

Sometimes I do, like when we go to church. I make sure they have on a decent shirt and pants (not jammie pants and not sweatpants and not even jeans).

Sometimes I do, depending on WHO I’m going to be around. Like if we’re going to be around a bunch of people who are ridiculously judgmental and would call The State on me for mal-dressed kids, I make them wear normal clothes.

Otherwise, I plead “part of why we homeschool is so we don’t have to worry about dress codes and wearing what everyone else is wearing.”

Like when we went to the first day of our parks and rec homeschool art class. I knew there would be dressed up Duggars there, but my boys are most comfy in loose-fitting pants with designs on them that closely resemble jammies. Besides, it’s ART CLASS … they’re gonna get messy!

We had a doctor appointment right after that and I had to take all 5 kids and didn’t have time for them to change clothes, so I took them to the doc in their comfy clothes, too. Normally that’s a place where I want them to look a little nicer, but that day I just didn’t have the brain power to care.

I mean, other than wearing their jammies in public (like you wish YOU could), my kids are happy, healthy, clean, well-educated, well-exercised and well-fed and are just generally good kids.

I can’t wait for Anonymous to comment about how I’m a lazy parent, to which I will pre-respond that I (literally) wrote the (e-)book on lazy parenting and am currently tweaking it, so I agree with you.

UPDATE as of April 23, 2016, still working on it .... haha!

And as of January 31, 2020, I have not had time to work on it! Moved to the country and too busy keeping up with homeschooling, a house, a pool, friends, family and fun!

When Children Die

My friend Eva recently told me that the friend of a friend just had a baby who had meconium aspiration like my baby Sam had when he was born. This baby was in the NICU a couple of days, and then he died.

This story haunts me. I keep asking myself this impossible question that I will not know the answer to until I’m dead: “Why did my baby live and her baby died?” It’s not like I’m a better person than that baby’s mother. I’m certainly not more worthy.

A few weeks later at gymnastics class I met a woman who told me she had 4 kids, but one had passed away only 8 months earlier. And she’s pregnant again. Her son was 3 ½ when he wandered into their pool … a pool that normally had all gates locked and an alarm system. I didn’t get all the details because I didn’t want to pry too much on our first meeting. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so I told her I was sorry and that she’s amazing and congratulations on the new baby. I savored a little book of photos she had of her son.

They’re in the process of tearing up the pool. She came upon Hell and couldn’t go around it. She had to go through it. She is amazing because she came out the other side. She’s trying to live a normal life, taking her kids to gymnastics (among other things), when I’m sure she would much rather crawl into her bed and stay there all day, every day.

She mentioned getting together sometime. I gave her my “mommy card” (my business card with email, phone and web site). She told me she’s writing a book about her experience of the first year after a child dies. I believe there is a reason for everything. For sure these days I’m seeing my kids differently, taking them less for granted. What if today is the last day of life for one of my kids? Accidents happen all the time.

I still look at Sam and wonder what I would have done if he had died. We never know how we’ll respond to something like that. Divorce often ensues. Relationships with the other children are damaged. It’s hard to comprehend that the dead one is most likely better off than we are; happier, at peace, looking down on us or hanging out among us wanting us to live life to the fullest and probably not wanting us to let the death envelop us.

Thank you to that mom for sharing her story with me. And now I’m sharing it with you. Maybe you want to share it with a mom you know. Or maybe you want to go eat a pint of ice cream. Now go hug your kids.

Google Pictures of My Freaking House

Aron just left a message to close the front shades because the Google van is driving around taking pictures and I probably don’t want them getting a photo of me breastfeeding in my own home. I hate that they take pictures of houses. How dumb. I called him back and told him, “Thanks for my next blog post because that is too funny!”

I already have pictures they took of my house, by the way. My dad found it when he was messing around one day looking for pictures of where I was born and where we lived in Germany in 1970 and 1971. Anyway, on both photos they have the wrong address typed on the top, so I don’t know how anybody finds what they’re looking for anyway!

Back to Sleep Campaign

Okay, so if you're a GOOD PARENT you put your baby on his/her back to sleep, right? I mean, if you don't want your baby to DIE of SIDS, you put your baby on his/her back. RIGHT?

Or did you?

In my vast experience, babies seem to want to sleep on their stomachs. They feel all cozy, snuggled up to the mattress. If you lay them on their back they do that funny thing where their arms splay out to their sides and they often wake up.

Feel free to post as Anonymous on this one. No judgments from me since we have had a family bed for over 8 years (and nobody has ever even come close to suffocating or dying). I'm just curious about what you're actually doing. People don't talk about it much because they don't want to be perceived as "bad parents" if their kid sleeps on the belly.

And yes, the post is coming up on SIDS being linked to a serotonin deficiency. Be patient.

Women and Financial Responsibility

Recently on one of my favorite shows that my mom tapes for me, The Real Housewives of Orange County, Lynne was mad at her husband that she and her family got evicted from their $10,000 a month home they had just moved into. She was mad at her husband that he didn't tell her that he didn't have the money to pay the $10,000 deposit and so he simply hid it from her.

Here's the thing ...

I know what's going on with the bills in my house, and we aren't talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars.

And ... I think that if Lynne knew they were having financial problems, she would have held off on her (unnecessary) facelift and the nose job for her 19-year-old daughter. I think she is a reasonable woman that way.

I think a husband who tries to give his wife EVERYTHING even when he can't afford it is a D.A. (remember how I can't cuss on here anymore b/c I've sold out to Coupons.com, a family-friendly advertising venue?).

What do you think? Do you watch this show? Do you think I am shallow for watching this show? Do you think I really care what you think about my TV habits? Do you know what's going on with the bills in your house? Are you on something right now? Do you want to be?

Yoo Hoo and Friends

Eva calls these little stuffed animals (that make different noises when you squeeze the belly) “Fens” because she can't say "Friends."

Joel discovered his first one in Branson when we were on vacation and got 2 more from my dad and stepmom for Christmas. Dad and Nancy, being awesome, also got one for each of the other kids. So now they have a club. Little do they know, my aunt Ginny found 4 more, and that's what the Easter bunny is bringing.

Sometimes Joel gets made fun of for carrying 3 of them around in his shirt like they are his babies. He’s an 8-year-old boy and is expected to act a certain way, you know. But I think it’s sweet that he can shoot a huge Nerf gun while toting his babies around. He’s gonna snag a cool wife, I’m thinking.

Nosey Nursing NICU Baby

Since Sam had to stay in the NICU for a week after he was born (and I had an infection as well), and my milk didn’t come in for a while, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to nurse him as I had my other kids. I was ready to actually buy my first-ever can of formula (all the other cans over the years had been free samples) and let other people feed him most of the time. I have to admit it was nice to have a break every now and then from trying to nurse nonstop and to have his brothers or sisters or another family member or friend give him a bottle of formula.

But then days went by when he wouldn’t get a bottle, and now it’s been weeks. I have to time my outings carefully or else take him with me when I go places (like to see the movie “Up in the Air” or go grocery shopping). And it’s just fine.

Now he’s almost 5 months old and if I nurse him to get him to sleep because *I* have something to do (homeschool, relax, etc.), he doesn’t always cooperate. Often he would rather wiggle around and stare at the world and see what he can come up with in his hand when he does a quick grab at the air.

I still marvel daily at the fact that he is even alive.

Swimwear & Summer Attire

I got a quasi-request ("I can't wait until we talk about swimwear") from Jen ...

Okay, Jen, let’s talk swimwear and summer attire. You’ve been wanting this post for a while. It says a lot about our society that instead of giving you a call, I’m giving you a shout out on the Internet!

Let me start the conversation by saying that some swimwear is so bad (and I know this is not a NEW thing) that my husband takes his glasses off the minute he gets to the pool. This is why I don’t like for him to take the kids to the pool without me … I’m afraid his blind butt will miss one of our kids drowning. I do respect him for not oogling trampy women, though.

Still, what are people THINKING? What annoys me more ... older women trying to look like teenagers or teens and tweens trying to look like they're 28?

Take it away, readers, while I go dig out my totally unflattering nursing swimsuit for use in a few months.

*By the way, this photo is NOT of me.

I'm Just a Boob in Jeans

You know on “Tom and Jerry” cartoons when sometimes one of the characters will see another character as a pork chop or a hot dog?

I think when Sam looks at me he sees a giant boob full of milk.

The "Disease" of Alcoholism

Let’s stir (not shake) things up a bit, hopefully.

Do you think alcoholism is a DISEASE?

I don’t.

Cancer is a disease. You can’t quit cancer. You can quit drinking. If you are locked in a room with no alcohol for the rest of your life, you will probably have some physical symptoms of withdrawal, but you will be okay. If you are locked in a room with cancer and given no treatment you will just die.

I think alcoholism is an ADDICTION. Like I’m addicted to food … my brain has repeatedly felt better when I eat, so now I think I have to have certain nasty foods to feel not depressed, to feel happy, to feel in control mostly.

Alcoholism is poor choices. It's checking out of life. It's not taking responsibility for your own crap.

So what do YOU think?

How to Pack a Baby in a Suitcase

I know some of you won't believe me, but Aron is always sad when he has to travel for work. The last time he left for Phoenix I pretended to pack Sam in his suitcase. A perfect fit (although probably highly illegal)!

How to Make Homeschooling Friends

I have found a new homeschooling friend again and BOY am I excited. She’s normal. Her kids are normal. She’s nice.

She doesn’t ask me inappropriate questions like, “So, why do you write? Is it because you are not fulfilled as a mother?”

She doesn’t quiz me about my religion, hoping to convert me to hers or to find holes in my logic.

She doesn’t run around her house like a Homeschooling Nazi, making sure her kids are doing work way above their grade level WHILE we are having a playdate.

I will add her in my mind to my growing list of great friends, homeschooling or otherwise.

In case you’re wondering, I went to the web site for one of my homeschool groups and searched the members’ addresses. Then I put together a play date with a couple of moms who live close. Sure, I’d rather stay home and write and hang out with my kids than meet new people, but once we met a few times I was glad I got out of the house. I initially did it for my kids so they’d have a social opportunity before 3:15 p.m., but I’ve made a friend or two in the process!

Do you find it hard sometimes to make friends now that you have kids?

Homeschooler Discrimination at Pawnee Elementary School in Overland Park, Kansas?

This is cool and crummy all at once.

My friend and I used to play school all the time. We’d argue over who would be the teacher. We both thought we knew everything.

Now I’m a homeschooling mom. My friend teaches English as a Second Language across the street at Pawnee Elementary School in Overland Park, KS.

A couple of weeks ago my 8-year-old son went across the street to help her out by reading to her students and making them feel at ease (a.k.a. peer mentoring). He was only there for half an hour and loved it. The kids loved it. My friend said he did great.

Too bad the principal (Shawnee Mission School District in Kansas) told my friend that my son can’t come back. She thinks it may be a liability issue, but we’re STILL waiting to find out his reason. I really want to write to him and tell him how much my son loved helping out, how much my friend liked having help and how much the kids enjoyed having him there. And tell him I’m happy to sign a release saying if my son gets hurt in his school I won’t sue. The McLoughlins are not litigious people.

Raise your hand if you think this is Homeschooler Discrimination. I guess I can see where they wouldn't want a homeschooled kid running around, making all the other kids want to be homeschooled. Why can't they just sneak him in the back door and pay off the ESL kids to keep quiet about his wonderful existence?

4/17/12 Schools are always bitching about needing money for every freaking thing under sun, so why don't they take the free help? Joel will be 11 when the next school year starts. Should I try this again or just leave them alone?

Bored Kids

I hate when kids tell me they are bored. I had a teacher in high school named Mr. Hoobing who said, “When you say you’re bored, that means you’re boring.”

So you know when a kid is crying and you go, “Do you want me to give you something to cry about?”

When kids tell me they’re bored, I SHOW them bored by lecturing to them. I tell them how I was an only child and had no siblings to argue with or annoy or punch out. And how I barely had neighbor friends because my mean old parents had us living in places where there weren’t a lot of [normal] kids.

I tell them how I had no Internet, no video games, no texting, no cell phone, no computer.

I did have MTV, though, friends. Back when MTV actually played music videos around the clock. And VH1. And good summer daytime TV like reruns of Leave it to Beaver, Who’s the Boss, One Day at a Time, I Love Lucy and tons of others I can’t even think of.

What did you do when you were bored? Besides play with your rocks and sticks? When Eva is bored she likes to help put away clean silverware from the dishwasher.

Funny Bathroom Cleaning Instructions for Little Kids

*can be done by one person or split up*

1. Put away everything that doesn’t belong in the bathroom (stuffed animals, omelets, etc.).

2. Hang up towels, put things away in drawers and closet. If towels smell bad because you left them on the floor after your bath last week, put them in the hamper and replace them with clean ones from the closet. On second thought, just walk up to the store and buy new towels. Grab my debit card from my wallet.

3. Using a wipe or washrag, wipe down counter and sink.

4. Using just the toilet brush (no Comet!), clean out the toilet. Ask Daddy if there is something else he’d like you to use to get it clean. Mommy doesn’t want you to use chemical-y stuff. Is baking soda and vinegar okay? We don’t want Daddy to freak out because the new toilet has been scratched!!!

5. Using a wipe or washrag, wipe the rest of the toilet. Try not to gag. Don’t gripe about how gross it may be because I rarely use that toilet so it’s not my fault.

6. Shake out the rugs (over the back deck).

7. If there is a lot of hair or other debris (duh-bree = dirt) on the floor (toilet paper your sister has gotten wet and then left to dry, concoctions that should have been left in the kitchen), do a quick sweep of the floor with the small brush and dustpan from garage. Then put it back!!! (the dustpan, not the debris)

8. Get the tub a little bit wet, then sprinkle some Comet around on the dirty parts. Using a washrag, scrub down the tub. To rinse off the Comet, you can use the sprayer or just let tub water run while you fill a cup and use that to rinse off the sides of the tub. Do not try to make a beach on the bathroom floor again like you did that one time when I was sitting downstairs and saw water coming through the water fixtures in the ceiling. Thank you.

Texting Contests

So we went to the Valentine’s Dance at the school across the street from us. We like to meet new people, have fun, dance, eat, get out of the house.

Anyway, there was going to be a “texting contest” … huh? I was intrigued because you ought to know by now how I feel about little kids with cell phones in the first place. The ages of kids who go there are from 5-11 … apparently they are texting aficionados. You should see them when they get out of school each day … it’s like they’re getting off work in New York City … they head for the sidewalk, backpack on back and cell phone to ear (even in large groups), making dinner reservations and texting to their moms that they are out of school for the day (duh! Shouldn’t your mom, like, KNOW that already?!).

So here's a picture from the texting contest, since I’m an awesome photojournalist as well as a wicked cool journalist-in-training. The kids just had to see who could type the written message on the posterboard the fastest. Back in my day that was called a TYPING CONTEST, and I woulda kicked butt* at that. I even interviewed a kid there. It went like this:

Me: “So how much are those phones those kids are using to text?”

Kid: “Like $100.”

Me: “Do you have one?”

Kid: “Yes.”

Me: “Why? I mean, doesn’t your mom know where you are all the time?”

Kid walks off, tired of talking to freaky nosey woman.

*FYI: I can’t use any cuss words on here anymore since I have Coupons.com on the side of my blog. Dangit. Oops, that might count as cussing. I guess I’m a sell-out.

Anti-Public School?

Just because we homeschool doesn’t mean we are against schools in general. I mean, if we hated all school systems, I would fight the fact that our property taxes go toward schools our kids will never attend. But that’s just not worth my time.

If we hated all schools, we wouldn’t buy trash bags and other stuff from kids who sell for fundraisers at our church’s school.

If we hated schools, we wouldn’t trot across the street to the public school to shell out big bucks for the carnival, the book fair, the dances, the ice cream social, taco night, etc.

And I wouldn’t dump off my paper recycling at the bins at the schools so they could make some money off of it. And I wouldn’t save my Best Choice labels and Box Tops for Education for them.

I’m just saying.

Puzzles!

We love wooden puzzles at my house! Callie never took to them, but Eva is loving them. Unfortunately for my house, Eva is the Hurricane, so the puzzle pieces end up all over the place. Maybe by the time I have grandchildren I'll have found all the pieces to the wooden puzzles! Is your kid a puzzle lover or a puzzle hater?

The World's Biggest Snowball

Since it constantly snows here in the Midwest lately, I have lots o' pix of snowy stuff ... lucky you! So here, without further adieu, is my son sitting on top of the World's Biggest* Snowball.

*This claim has not been proven.

Wallpaper Stripping While Holding a Baby

These are a couple of wallpaper stripping pictures for you ... my best work is done holding Baby Samwich.

Updated 2021: this seemed like a never-ending project!

How to Build a Snowman

Did you think you'd see instructions here? Nah, you can head to eHow.com for that kind of stuff. I'm always inside nursing babies, so I rarely get to go play in the snow. This is what Aron and the kids made one day recently, though. More proof in my case for him being an excellent father.

Toddler Eva Stripping Wallpaper

You can't ever really start a kid on wallpaper scraping fun too early. And I just keep giving birth to little wallpaper strippers, so it all works out.

Kids With Cell Phones

Yes, I know I beat this horse to death and then some. But when I go to an elementary school dance and see all the kids with phones it drives me nuts. I mean, parents, do you not have a clue? Don't you know that you are not only paying for phone calls and texts, but also (usually) for Internet service? I remember my best friend and I during school (6th grade) cackling at looking up the word "crusty" in the dictionary. Dear God, if we'd had cell phones, we would've been looking up all kinds of naked people and probably instant messaging all kinds of pedophiles.

I always thought my dad was overprotective as heck. Turns out he actually had a clue, which kept me pretty darn safe throughout my childhood and kept me molested-free. Who knew?

*Updated to acknowledge that some parents do opt out of the Internet service on their kid's cell phone.

Security for Valentine's Day

So, what are you asking for or giving for Valentine's Day?

I told Aron I'd like an external hard drive so I can store all our digital photos in our fireproof box.

Hey, security is romantic. Sue me.

How Much Does the Tooth Fairy Pay?

Originally posted 2/13/2010

Joel is 8 1/2 and just lost his second tooth. He gets a buck from the Tooth Fairy for each tooth he loses. He knows kids who get 10 bucks for EACH TOOTH LOST. Even if there's only one child in the house, why would the Tooth Fairy make the other Tooth Fairies look so bad?

And why does a kid need that much money for a freakin' tooth? I mean, I got Jack Squat when I started my period, and I lost a lot of blood. Too much information? How much do I get when this toothpick comes out of my foot? Oh, I know: I get to go back to cleaning my house and chasing my kids. Hmmmm. Maybe I don't want this toothpick out after all.

See what a good writer I am? I correlate tooth fairies and toothpicks somehow in one post.

*Edited to add: Man, I hope my kids' friends don't read this blog or I'm in trouble. The other night Aron was out of town and I forgot that Michael had lost a tooth (he doesn't make a big deal out of things). So the next morning the Tooth Fairy did not come :-( The next night, however, somehow the Tooth Fairy snuck a buck under the pillow while he was brushing his teeth and he found the money the next morning. Slick!

Favorite 80s Movies

What are your favorite 80s movies? Mine are Xanadu, Grease and Somewhere in Time.

Or they WERE, anyway. They AFFECTED me as a child. Then when I grew up and watched them again I had different critiques and now make fun of them all.

The music still rocks from the first 2, but that Netwon-John was certainly no thespian (like I should talk). She was cool; she hyphenated before it was accepted in society.

That darn Somewhere in Time, though ... I think the last time I watched it I was pregnant with my first kid and cried until I got a headache.

House Cleaning Services

So this is probably slander or libel or something like that ... heck, I don't know the definitions of those things. One of them is saying untrue things about someone, but this is actually true.

So I'll never hire a house cleaning service because my ex-husband used to be a manager at one of the biggest ones out there ... and he totally stole stuff.

So if you have a house cleaning service and you notice things missing, NAIL THEIR BUTTS TO THE WALL ABOUT IT! You probably aren't experiencing Alzheimer's symptoms; you are probably being stolen from.

These are the things I think about while I'm vacuuming with a baby in my arms!

Debate: Retirement or College?

Are you saving for your retirement or for your kids' college? Or are you trying to do both?

You know my general take on this issue: put your own oxygen mask on first. Your kids are young and can start saving now and get jobs and loans and grants and financial aid.

That being said, we are saving for our own retirement while our kids have savings accounts. We hope to be able to help with SOME college, which is better than none. Yet I also believe things are more appreciated when they are bought for oneself.

What's your take? Will you do it how your parents did it, or did they subject you to child abuse by not paying for your college, and now you plan to pay 100% of YOUR kids'???

Our Remodeled Bathroom

It used to have teal carpet, flowered wallpaper and a beige BathFitter thing in the shower. Thanks to Aron and his twin brother and his dad, it now looks like this!

Happy 5th Birthday, Callie!!!

Happy 5th Birthday to my firstborn daughter, Callie! We had some rough times with tantrums, but lately she is becoming more happy and cooperative and says she enjoys helping cook, pick up, etc. She loves writing her name and coloring and watching movies. She loves helping me stir cake batter. She's helpful with Baby Sam. I like spending time with her and listening to her little girl dreams. I like listening to her sing and love watching her dance. I can't wait to see what she will become and am savoring my time with her while she is so young and innocent.

I love you, Callie!

Debate: Rich or Famous?

Would you rather be rich or famous, like if someone told you you HAD to be one or the other?

I'm thinking rich. They'd both stink in some respects, but famous brings on stalkers and other weirdos and lots of scrutiny. Rich could lead to doing lots of good things for the world, if you were so inclined

Hyland's Products: Bedwetting Tablets

I don't know if you can call this a product review since I haven't actually used these yet, but I'm gonna try them and let you know. You don't just give them before bed; you give them at meals, etc. They are tiny, homeopathic tablets that taste like nothing. I'm hoping my almost-5-year-old will stop peeing in her size 6 diaper every night. I hear lots of females have problems with bedwetting ... I've known many.

I've heard that making them pee before bed, making sure they stop drinking after 7 p.m. and trying out a bedwetting alarm don't necessarily work.

What's your experience with kids wetting the bed when they are potty-trained perfectly during the day?

Hyland's Products: Teething Tablets

I don't know how these work, but they somehow do. Sure, sometimes it takes half the bottle to get your kid to stop hurting, but they are awesome. It's like an attitude adjustment in a bottle for your teething toddler.

As of December 2009 I'm supposed to let you know if I'm getting paid or being given free products to endorse when I write about them. I have NOT gotten a thing from Hyland's. I just love this crap, that's all.

Dairy Products and Mucus: Chocolate Silk from Whole Foods

You hear all the time about the correlation between dairy products and being all snotty. Not snotty in attitude, but in mucus. Since Sam has been congested since birth and is almost 4 months old now, and since I seem to have all kinds of drainage going on (sorry to gross you out), I have been cutting down on dairy, and it seems to be helping. Maybe it's wishful thinking. Maybe it's true.

Either way, I tried out Chocolate Silk (soy milk) and we all loved it. I just wish I could afford the 3 bucks a half gallon 10 times a week, because we would all just suck this drink down. Do you ever picture tiny soybeans with boobs being milked? And how about little grains of rice being milked for Rice Milk? No? Must just be me. Huh.

Did you know you can do a tour at Whole Foods grocery stores? You get to try out stuff to see if you like it before you commit to buying a full-size version of it. I'm gonna set up that field trip for my homeschool group (most of whom probably already shop there cuz a bunch of them are crunchy). I may have to take up stripping to pay for more healthy food for my family, but we all have trade-offs, right?

Just kidding, Dad.

Meal Plan for When My Guy is Out of Town

As evidenced by the popularity of LifeAsMom.com, people really seem to dig saving money and knowing what other people eat. In honor of LifeAsMom.com, I am sharing with you my ultra-healthy, no-processed-foods (yeah, right) meal plan for the week Aron was out of town recently. Keep in mind this sort of meal plan saves me from hitting the fast food drive through like a crack pipe, therefore saving me money.

Monday
breakfast: pancakes and sausage
lunch: ravioli in a can for the kids with garlic bread; Smart Ones and a salad for me
dinner: Tuna Helper

Tuesday
breakfast: cereal
lunch: fish sticks and mandarin oranges
dinner: Pizza Hut (2 free small ones from Book-It program)

Wednesday
breakfast: cream of wheat
lunch: pizza leftovers and fruit
dinner: Hamburger Helper

Thursday
breakfast: ham and cheese quiche
lunch: corn dogs, apples, oranges
dinner: clam chowder, carrots

Friday
breakfast: cereal
lunch: grilled cheese with lunchmeat
dinner: cheese hot dogs wrapped in crescent rolls, fruit

Snacks:
string cheese
chocolate graham crackers
bologna
carrots
pretzels
granola bars
yogurt

Miss, You've Saved Too Much Money

Last weekend I saved too much money at the grocery store and an override had to be done. It rocked. I took advantage of my Chopper Shopper card, actually cut coupons and had a raincheck for Weight Watchers Smart Ones. I usually like shopping at Aldi since I save more money there, but when I HAVE to go to Price Chopper for the better apples and oranges and some other choice stuff, I hate walking out spending $300 and needing help out with my two carts.

If I were rich, I would get my groceries delivered. Hell, I'd have all my MEALS delivered.

Do you enjoy grocery shopping, or is it a necessary evil? Do you like the thrill of the SAVE by using coupons? Should I join Sam's Club? Should I join Overeaters Anonymous?

Freaky Things We Do Re-Post

Short on time for posting this week, so here is an old post from 2008 that talks about the freaky things we do as a family. Enjoy!

Recipe: Pumpkin Pancakes

This is a great recipe for using up any cans of pumpkin you have laying around from Thanksgiving. Or maybe you are one of those freaks who cooks from FRESH pumpkin (just kidding ... I admire you). Either way, these rock. And kids will probably dig 'em.

Pumpkin Pancakes

1 cup flour
3 T sugar
1 t baking powder
1/2 t baking soda
1/4 t salt
3/4 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
1 egg
1 cup plain low-fat yogurt (or sour cream)
1/4 cup canned pumpkin puree
2 T butter, melted and cooled, plus 1 T for the skillet

I'm assuming ya'll know how to cook a pancake, so this is the basic recipe for what to mix together.

Beat the egg til fluffly, then add yogurt, pumpkin and 2 T melted butter and beat well. Stir in dry ingredients and mix until combined. Cook those pancakes in a hot buttered skillet!

Forever Changed by the NICU

I really appreciate my dad for taking this video, but I want to know when I'm going to be able to watch it without crying? How do people handle life so well and move on when their baby is in the NICU for months? My heart goes out to all of you. I took life for granted, but not so much anymore.

Hoarders

Has anyone seen this show yet? My mom taped it for me. We thought it would be interesting and funny. It’s interesting, but certainly not funny. It’s very sad.

I was on my way to becoming a hoarder once. My apartment had cat crap in the spare bedroom when I was single, I had Cosmopolitan magazines going back for years, and the list goes on and on. I had about 5 times the clothing I have now.

The more kids I had, the more of my own stuff I got rid of, and the easier it was to sort through their stuff and get rid of some of it. These days I have a small closet with my maternity AND regular wardrobe in it. I have very few books anymore.

Most of my clutter nowadays is old journal papers … thousands of them. My dream is to someday transcribe all the papers from my handwriting to computer and have a big old bonfire (after I back up all the files on an external hard drive or two, of course).

And I feel free.

I just read Candy Spelling’s book and I think she’s a total hoarder … even though she calls them “collections” and has pondered the hoarding issue. I’m interested to see what she does with all her crap when her 73,000 square feet (including the attic) of crap-holding space turns into 17,000 when she moves.

Do you or someone you know have any hoarding issues? Yeah, like you're really gonna tell ME!