People With Only One Kid Have It Soooo Easy

The other day I was at a homeschool park day with some friends. I was running off at the mouth like I do, this time about how hard it would be to have another kid now. I don't think it's particularly my age, although I am more wiped out than usual, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I'm caring for FIVE little people AND homeschooling them and and and ... (and it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that I'm about 20-30 pounds overweight currently).

So I'm griping with a couple of other pals with 5 kids (and one with 10!) about how hard it would be to have another kid and try to get out of the house with just me as the responsible adult. My friend with 10 kids had a good point about how as you have more, the others get older and can help out here and there with going places, Duggar-style ... like not having 100% responsibility for one of your children, but just help schlep stuff and hold hands across the street and things like that.

Then I realized I'm doing all this griping and my friend who *only* has one kid is just listening, not judging or anything, just listening. So I shut up. Only later did I realize that sometimes that ONE kid can be quite a handful, like that one kid can equal 4 of someone else's kids. Like not everybody with an only child should be felt sorry for, as in "oh, she probably couldn't have more kids." No, many of these parents choose to have ONE kid based on all sorts of smart reasons (for example, like they enjoy going on expensive family vacations and being able to pay for their kid's college education while they look at me like I'm insane for not being able to do those things for my children ... we all have different opinions, perspectives and priorities). And my friend should have said, "Shut the hell up, griper, and count yo blessings [typo intended so as to sound like a sassy chick!]."

I'm sure you know by now that I'm an only child. My parents wanted it that way. My mom says she might have had another if things had been a little different in certain areas of her life. Maybe my dad would have been happy with another if it had "just happened" (read: birth control failure).

I don't judge people with only children as if they are all selfish jerks who don't want the work of a big family. Some only children have special needs. Some are just a handful. Some are so wonderful the parents can't imagine having another. Some start older and only can physically have one. Some think people like me are the selfish ones, hogging all the kids.

I think we all have issues nobody even knows about that makes us choose things the way we do. Sometimes maybe it's God choosing for us and we have to trust.

So my blog title is kidding, I'm sure you've figured out by now. So put down the tomatoes and get away from my front door, kay?

Accidental Post: Stuff Versus People: Priorities

Aron’s parents wanted to get rid of a coffee table that Aron’s brother had made, and we took it because it was big and sturdy and similar to our other one. I’d had this old coffee table since 1996.

I LOVED this table. It was long and you could stand on it and it had 2 doors you could open and stash a bunch of blankets or chocolate in. But the reason I’m sad that we put FREE on it and drag it to the front yard is this …

The table had these ends that were open and big enough to put a basket o’ crap under, and all the kids used to climb through the ends when they were small enough.

The other night I watched Eva try to crawl through the ends of the new table, but the ends are too small for storing anything and too small for a baby to crawl through. This made me sad.

Yeah, I get why people love their stuff. It’s because MEMORIES are attached to their stuff. I know I’ll cry like a baby when we move from this house because it’s the house where I brought all my kids after they were born. Joel got upset when he was about 3 because we got rid of our Pontiac Grand Prix and bought a minivan. He was really attached to that car and the memories we’d made in it.

The fact remains that we can’t take any of it with us when we die. Maybe I’ll haunt this house I live in where so many good memories have been made, but it won’t be the same as when I lived the life here. Move on.

Your dead grandma won’t care that you broke her favorite costume jewelry, so quit crying over it. I’m willing to bet she’d much prefer you kiss your kids when you think of her instead of get all upset over something material.

Bottom line and bossy order of the day: Use your stuff, but enjoy the PEOPLE. Put down your cell phone for a minute and stare at someone you love or at a tree. Stop thinking your paperwork or shaving your legs is so detrimental and try to just live a little more for a few minutes a day!

I’m turning into a hippie! Peace out, homeez.

**Crap, I didn't mean to post this. I was re-labeling things to make the blog more simple to navigate and this was OLD and I accidentally published it.

Suing for Wrong Genetic Testing Results

1. Do I really want a nurse taking care of me who got her degree online?
2. Do we still need the Roman numeral system?
3. How come "virtual school" is an online school system? Shouldn't that be what you call Unschooling?
4. Why are DUI checkpoints announced on the radio? Isn't the point to CATCH drunks, not tell them to avoid the checkpoint?
5. I went to a La Leche League meeting once and a mother said she was still nursing her son, who was 47-months old. My mom, who was with me at the time, says to me something along the lines of, "Last time I checked that was 4 years. Just SAY 4 years. You aren't fooling anyone."
6. Isn't suing for bad genetic testing results like suing because you got pregnant while on a birth control pill or while using a condom? Let's all sue Trojan, kay?

This has been deep thoughts with Kerrie, who is here to make you think and to annoy you in general with her poorly formed arguments and "jokes".

Where Do You Have Your Kid's Birthday Party? (and roller skating!!!)

In case you're wondering, this cake says, "Happy Birthday, Callie" and Callie decorated it herself last month for her party. We pretty much always have the kids' birthday party at our own house (cheapskates) and invite friends and family. As the kids get older, some parents drop off their kid and go to the spa (ha!) and some stay because they are not currently avoiding the obnoxiousness that is ME.

Sometimes we splurge on a bouncy house (that's a moonwalk to you and me) in the backyard but I don't think we've ever had a party for our kids offsite. No reason (cheapskates), it's just the way it is because we are so chill and zen and laid-back and go with the flow (sorda).

But I have to tell you I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when other parents have offsite parties to avoid the mess at their own house. I totally get it! We have loved going to a ceramics place and going to a huge bouncy house place and soon the boys get to go to a SKATING PARTY!

I am peeing my pants about the skating party because I used to skate in circles when I was a kid to Another One Bites the Dust by Queen and also Blondie songs and all that late 1970s and early 1980s stuff. Aron will be in town so I MIGHT sneak out and leave him here with the 3 littlest ones and go skating with my boys. I can't do any tricks. I'll likely fall on my butt and crack a hip. But it will be fun to help my boys get up on their skates!

So are you a party-elsewhere parent to keep the mess away? Or a party-at-home parent so you don't have to pack everything up and go somewhere and load the gifts up and bring them home and all that?

Want to Cryovac Your Kids?

I had Aron take this picture because, really, how many more days like this will I get in my life? Days where Sam falls asleep nursing in my lap and I hold him while I write or homeschool or read or watch TV with the kids or whatever? He's growing out of naps. He's talking in little sentences. Potty training is next, and I'm not looking forward to it.

Call me crazy, but I want to somehow cryovac my kids in time. They can still move around and stuff, they just can't get any older. Trust me, there are days when I want to FREEZE them for a few hours so I can have a thought in my head, but most of the time I just want time to stop.

A woman at Aldi last night told me to treasure this time (I only had Sam and Eva with me) because they grow into teenagers. You will think I am nuts, but I won't mind them as teens. It will be a challenge for sure, but I look forward to every day I get to hang with these kids God has entrusted to me.

Before you post a snotty reply about how you can't wait to have a clean house or go on a nice vacation or have sex uninterrupted, go easy on me. Remember that I was 30 before I had my first kid, so I had 6 years with Aron and a few years before that to be naughty. My kids are not my ENTIRE life, but they are currently the biggest part of it along with their dad. And I like it that way :-)

Do You Give Money to Strangers?

Okay, so last week I met who I will call the "Toys R Us Troubadour" ... a Bret Michaels knockoff playing guitar outside the Toys R Us with 2 little boys. Yes, you read that right. A guy. Playing guitar for money with a bucket that said "Hard Times" on it. Outside a toy store. With 2 kids.

Some of you right now might be thinking, "What a con artist! Those probably weren't even his kids! He probably is a lazy bum who borrowed his pal's kids during spring break to make some easy money. He probably didn't even tell his pal what he was doing."

Who knows? All I know is I have a big old bleeding heart and I don't think I would like myself any other way. Sure, I can be quite cynical, but that's more like about people I know and have experienced to be gamey or players or just plain nutso.

As for strangers, well, I give 'em money when they need it. Always have. Sure, I (I should say WE here since Aron is totally involved) give money to people I know, as well, like maybe a family member who has fallen on hard times. And I don't LOAN money because that has too much attached to it. If I'm going to give it, I have to just GIVE it and be done with it and kiss that money goodbye and have no expectations placed on the person I'm giving it to.

Most of the time I have to just pass a few bucks out the window on a freeway off-ramp (I don't carry a lot of cash!), but I prefer to talk with the person and get to know them as a human being, if only for a couple of minutes, you know? That's not always possible when I have wiggly toddlers and someplace to be that I'm generally late for.

This day, though, I had dropped off Joel, his girl friend who is 10 and Michael to shop for something they knew they wanted and had money for. Then I parked in front of the store and got out to give the singing dad some money and Veggie Chips and fruit snacks I have in the trunk of the mommyvan. I asked him how old his kids are (7 and 3 with 2 more back at the hotel with their mom, one special needs in a wheelchair, he said). They moved to KC from Seattle so he could start a drywall job but it hadn't started yet and then the paycheck would be a couple of weeks after that. He sang a song for the kids that was like something Mr. Stinky Feet would sing: goofy and fun.

Maybe those weren't his kids. Maybe he's a meth addict. Maybe God put him there to test my compassion. Yep, God, still intact, and I want to teach it to my kids, as well

Should we be scared of people like that? Well, I'm pretty sure I'm around people on welfare and food stamps and disability and state-funded insurance and state-funded daycare and state-funded school breakfast and lunch programs every single day of my life. I'm not scared of them.

Don't we all need a little help sometimes?

Mama's Got a Brand New Heartrak Heart Monitor!

Ah, the fun of being 40!

Thursday I got to go to Olathe Medical Center to grab me a heart monitor. I've had palpitations for years ... no big deal. My dad had them and his mom also has something heart-related. Palpitations alone I'm not really concerned about because they don't affect my daily life and are not frequent.

But here's the power of reality TV: I saw Victoria Gotti on Celebrity Apprentice and had to Google her to see what the hell she was even famous for (besides her dad) because they kept calling her an author. Turns out she wrote a book about her mitral valve prolapse. MVP would NOT be a good thing to have because it would make me tired, and I can't afford to be tired.

So I finally decided to grab the heart monitor. It's so easy ... I just put this credit card-sized dealy jobber up to my heart when I have issues and push RECORD. Later I call a real person from a land line and download the recordings. I'll do this for 30 days. I don't have to wear anything around all the time.

So my points are:

1. Reality TV can be good. There is a reason for everything. Thank you, Mr. Trump, for choose Gotti for your show.

2. We need to take care of our health. I kept putting this off because I didn't want to leave the kids to do it, but they had a BLAST with Jordan (as always) playing outside, and I even got to have a nice lunch alone and get some writing work done. (only child = alone as natural habitat and it feels nice sometimes)

This is a full-service blog. I don't judge you for watching reality TV and I'm telling you to schedule some sort of -opsy today whether you need it or not.

Little Juvenile Delinquents in Kansas City, MO (Guest Post)

/Since I messed you over the last 2 days with no pictures on the blog (by the way, I can see the pictures just find when I go to the site ...so apparently I can see dead people, too?), here's a bonus post from Happy Elf Mom over at Homeschool and Etc. about a pressing issue that needs your opinion, help, attention, etc.


Less than two weeks from now there will be a vote on this proposal.  Any school-age child can be interrogated at the park or shopping center or... oh, just anywhere in Kansas City including the sidewalk in front of your house.  No crime needs to be committed for the cops to put YOUR kid into the paddywagon and bring him in downtown.  The officer simply needs to suspect that your child is truant.

First off, "compulsory education" is an oxymoron, but leaving that aside for the moment, there are about a dozen and one problems with this proposal.  I live about three blocks from Kansas City and parts of Kansas City are part of our school district.  Stay with me, now...

Today, my public-schoolers don't have school.  (It's Professional Development day, which means teachers are doing their dopey workshops and celebrating diversity and stuff.)  Kansas City School District (KCSD) schools are in session.  Were the law in effect today, my teens could be accosted for going to the park about a mile away from my house.

Guess what?  We also have spring break during an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WEEK than KCSD.  And sometimes we call snow days and they don't.  Add to that the fact that our district has ten elementaries, bunches of middle schools and high schools that all have DIFFERENT start and end times and you can see where an officer might be confused as to what time "school" is really in session when he's thinking of picking up some random kid.

And I don't think my district is the only KC-area district with a few differences in attendance dates and hours than KCSD.  Nevermind that KCSD faces *immediate takeover* by DESE (Department of Elementary and Secondary Education) and DESE may decide to divvy up the district piecemeal to five *different districts* in the very near future.  Five different districts which may have different start and end times even within their borders.  Five different districts that have long weekends at different times.  (I'm counting about six in our district alone this year that are probably different from KCSD.)

I'm thinking cops have other things to do than carry ten different district schedules, and also worry about whether they're going to pick up the wrong kid sometime whose parents will start a stink in the media.  I haven't even gotten to this idea of homeschoolers being left alone just yet in my post, and I've been rambling for a while now.

HSLDA is currently collecting stories from homeschoolers who have been harassed or bothered in some way during the "school" day because of homeschooling.  They're encouraging members and other concerned people to emailLegalC@hslda.org and promise to keep stories confidential unless specific permission is given to use publicly.

Sometimes it isn't even about homeschoolers.  Sometimes it's about American citizens of all ages having reasonable rights.  I wrote HSLDA and told them that as of right now, I've *never* been harassed by police or school officials for homeschooling.  And I'd like to keep it that way.


Bloggy fans, weigh in in the comments section, please!

"I Love Ya Like a Love Song BABY!" by Callie and Sam

Who needs a TV when you have kids? DANGIT, they are entertaining! And I certainly don't pay for cable when I have this MTV-quality duo's video right here on my own blog and in my own foyer (that's a teeny tiny entryway for those of you who don't speak French). Enjoy Spring Break!

When Stuffed Animals Travel, Part Two

Dear Sam, Eva, Callie, Michael and Joel,

We had so much fun the other day we begged your dad to take us to work again with him.  So yesterday we went on another adventure, and once again we had so much fun, we wish you all could be here with us.

So here’s some pictures of yesterdays adventures.  Your dad sure knows how to start a day because he took us to sit down breakfast and we had ham and French toast with lots of butter and syrup .

So next we started up the mountain, it’s funny when he says that because we’re not actually driving straight up the side of a mountain, it’s more like we’re winding up between the mountains.  Anyway he said we gain about 2000 feet of elevation, which is almost half a mile up.  So here’s a picture of the valley where town is and we are just starting to go up.  Notice the mountains in the background with snow on them.

So about half way up Spike had to get out and tinkle.  So once he finished your dad let us climb in some sage brush.  I was kind of prickly and we got stuck, so your dad had to get us out.  We think we’ll go tree climbing with Joel some time so we can learn how to not get stuck.

We saw some funny signs on the way up.  We thought this sign was funny.  They put this up because there are deer all over the place up here.  Your dad almost hit one coming down the mountain last night.  He was probably going too fast and had to slam on the brakes pretty hard.  I’m glad he didn’t hit the deer.

This is a sign we don’t like.  H2S is Hydrogen Sulfide, which can be present if gas leaks from the pipeline or the well sites.

Anyway we got to work right away.  Your dad didn’t drink coffee because of lent.  So here’s the show where we talk shop.  Actually here’s where your dad complains about being away from home.

And two hours later when that got old we went outside for awhile and stepped on frozen puddle ice crunchies.

After awhile of that we decided to go north and get some work done.  So we got out the laptop, opened up the project and typed  for about an hour.

Next we inspected the cabinet for the 34^th time for about an hour.  There are 6 cabinets out here so that took the rest of the day.

Well that was our day.  I told your dad to put this picture in of his Jeep.  He likes driving in the mud.  He actually had to clean the side windows off so it was safe to drive.

Your dad says we’re coming home today - yeaahhhh.  It sure will be nice.  We had fun up here but we miss you and can’t wait to get home to someone who doesn’t snore through the night.

Love you, XOXOXO, see you soon

Spots, Lucky and Spike

When Stuffed Animals Travel to Evanston, Wyoming

Now for the exciting part of our day ... part one of two parts of emails from Daddy from Wyoming. I think you'll agree that he's a rockin' dad for sending these emails from the stuffed animals the kids send along with him and for also sending postcards to all 6 of us! Here's the first one:

Dear Sam, Eva, Callie, Michael and Joel,

We are having a blast out here, we wish you were here.  Here’s some pictures to show you what we have been doing.

We changed hotels yesterday, because the other place was a dump, and here at the Hampton Inn we get points for free hotel rooms on our next vacation.  Anyway the maid was really nice and snuggled us up together.  Callie you would like the bed it is nice and cushy, warm and soft.  We think Sam and Eva would have a blast bouncing on it. 

Your dad is taking good care of us and sleeps with us every night.  But we told him that we wanted to get out of the room and go to work with him and see what he did.  He said okay and we got to go the very next day.    He had to make sure we were safe on site because they have rules to keep us safe.  Here we are with our protective boots, hard hat and reflective vest on.

We had a good breakfast and he loaded us in the car for the ride ‘up the mountain’.  Here is a picture of us riding to work with him.  There is snow all over the place, and it sure is pretty.  The gravel road is pretty rough and bumpy.

He said that if he had a pick-up he would let us ride in the back, like he lets Joe and Michael do, but since he didn’t he let us hang our heads out the window instead.  Notice that your dad’s Jeep is muddy.  It’s warming up into the mid 30’s so the snow is melting and making a huge mud hole here.  He likes to go through the mud real fast.

He even let us drive even though we didn’t have drives licenses.  He said that we drove pretty good, but not as good as Joel.

Here’s what it looked like going ‘up the mountain’.

And here’s a picture of what it looked like up on top of the mountain.  Way in the background you can see another mountain range.

The first thing we did when we got to the top was to play in the snow.  We didn’t have Michael here to make us a snow fort so we just had a snowball fight and made snow angels.

The next thing we got to do was really cool.  We got to ride on some construction equipment.  The first thing we got to ride on was a gigantic front-end loader. Your dad had to put us up here cuz it was way too high for us to climb. It was greasy and dirty, but it was a blast seeing them move mountains of dirt.  Sam you have to try this you would love it.

The next thing was even awesomer.  It was an excavator.  When you grow up and run one of these Sam you have to take us along.  It was even greaser and dirtier, but boy can you dig a hole fast with one of these. 

Anyway gotta go now.  We love you all and you dad says hi and that he loves you all and misses you very much.

XOXOXO,

Spike, Spots and Lucky

And because I'm all proud to be an Amazon Associate these days, I like to tie in a book or other rec for you on some of the blogs because I love books and I like being educated about stuff. So here is a book for those who are travel widows with kids like me:

"Lessons from the Hen House" Ebooklet Review

Carol J. Alexander has put together a great little resource with her "Lessons from the Hen House" ebooklet lesson plan (like a mini unit study). It's perfect for homeschoolers and kids in traditional schools alike. It's great for any kid who likes farm animals, in fact. And what kid doesn't like farm animals? I can't wait to start this with my kids!

At a sweet little price of $3.99, you'll want to own the whole series, called "Lessons from the Homestead." According to Carol, "Each one covers a different area of the farm. I launched Lessons from the Seed Catalog last spring. Lessons from the Tree House is almost complete and then I have Dairy Barn, Pig Sty, Bee Hive, Garden, and Kitchen yet to write. (And who knows what else I'll come up with!) Each booklet has over 50 lessons for teaching your children math, language, science, art, home economics, and more."

You can get more information from her new website http://LessonsFromTheHomestead.com. She also has a free monthly newsletter by this title that offers additional lesson ideas, interviews, and encouragement for those who are trying to homeschool and homestead at the same time.

Carol is giving away a free copy of "Lessons from the Hen House" to one lucky reader of The (Mommy)Kerrie Show. Just leave me a comment here with your email address so I can contact you if you win! Good luck! I'll be drawing a name on Friday.

Award-Winning McLoughlin Boys

What good is a blog if you can't post pictures of your kids doing cool things? So here are my sweet oldest boys with their dad's their prize-winning Pinewood Derby cars from Scouts from January. The secret is to put weights on the butt of the car so it will go faster. If you get a chance, check out the movie Down and Derby. It totally captures the essence of a dad's a kid's Pinewood Derby and is freaking funny.





I know who looks most proud in this picture!

A Great Gift for a New Parent!!!!

 I have these cool things hanging on the bedroom wall. My mom buys one each time I have a baby. They are from a company called Birthday Keepsake, and run about $10 plus shipping. Each one has my kid's name, birthdate, weight at birth, time of birth, place of birth and then a lot of stuff that was going on the year they were born. I love this kind of stuff because you can see how much a gallon of gas or milk was the year your kid was born. You can see popular shows and toys and which movies won awards and what was in the news.

I'm not getting anything to write about this company; just wanted to share it because anytime anyone comes over and sees these on my bedroom wall they freak out and want one for each of their kids! I'm a little sentimental and am pretty sure someday I'll sit and stare at these and cry when my babies are all moved out of the house. Hell, who am I kidding? I do that ALREADY. Some days they drive me INSANE, but always in the back of my mind I am aware of the fact that it is all zooming by too fast. And YES, old ladies, I DO appreciate it all right now and try to treasure every day!

Kids Kill Televisions Sometimes

shop.panasonic.com

Kids kill televisions sometimes, and so our Panasonic TC-P50S30 50-inch plasma flat screen TV is dead. I am writing this post as a public service announcement for all those who are researching before buying this TV (like my husband did). Here's the deal:

A tiny plastic ice cream cone from a Play-do set was tossed in the air (not even toward the direction of the TV). Slow-mo-like, it hit the month-old TV. It left a 3-inch "crack" like the star of Bethlehem BETWEEN THE LAYERS OF GLASS. The TV shut down and won't turn on at all.

No TV appliance repair place will touch it to try to fix it. It will be cheaper to buy a new $700 TV. Breaking stuff doesn't make the warranty kick in, folks. 

Best Buy is where we bought it and they do not sell screen covers. They are losing lots of money every day because of that. Also, we won't be buying our next TV from them because that's like rewarding them. We do, however, have to take our OLD TV to them so they can recycle it since the TV has nasty gasses trapped between the layers. Landfill fun for the future generations!

If you have small children, even hanging the TV on the wall will not prevent something being tossed at it. I suggest you find another TV option to satisfy your TV happiness until your children are older or else BUY A SCREEN COVER. Here is a place you can get one, and it's called TV Armor. Yes, it costs a lot but not as much as a new flipping TV that you saved for months to buy!

The irony is that my husband RARELY watches TV. He didn't own one when we met (I wasn't sure the relationship was going to work out but clearly it has).

Homeschool Chemistry: A Bunch of Advice From Kerrie

My friend posted this comment yesterday in response to me saying we had an "off" week homeschooling because I was sick and yet the kids learned and did so much anyway:

THANK you for posting that! I'm new to all this homeschooling stuff and really don't know how to do it on my own or at least I'm scared too. I am slowing pulling away from a boxed curriculum but have only done it with Science and History. Here is my MAJOR worry. My friend, who uses K12, says that my kids should be learning all about chemistry right now or it's gonna really mess them up for high school. They have to really, really understand it, the ins and outs. I feel like they are still really young and it seems to be going in one ear and out the other. Would love your thoughts.

1. K12 is not technically homeschooling. The HSLDA does not recognize it as homeschooling. You are not a protected homeschooler if you use that program because you are using a state program. It's like public school at home on the computer, no? A lot of people use it when they are just starting out because they don't want to mess up their kids, and they need some guidelines. I totally understand and love my fellow homeschoolers who use this program. If it works for you, great. If it's just a means to schooling your own way eventually, that's great, too.

2. Some people choose to move away from K12 and structured curriculum (i.e., often COSTLY) as they gain more experience in THEIR OWN KID. They learn what their kid likes and is good at and they want to foster that. They also want to make sure their kid knows things like: how to balance a checkbook, how to do laundry without turning it pink (chemistry!), how to cook (chemistry again!), how to clean a bathroom naturally and how different products (like baking soda and vinegar) act together (there's that dang chemistry again; it's getting annoying!). If you're doing stuff like that, they will absorb it! If you do flash cards of H2O and O2 and sodium di-whatever-ide, they probably won't retain it.

3. Do you remember the entire periodic table of the elements (is that what it's even called?) from 7th grade? I barely squeaked by back then and it didn't make a bit of difference in my life. Haven't blown anything up. Got through high school and 2 years of college just fine. I can hold my own at a cocktail party, as well. Scratch that. I've never been to a cocktail party.

4. Don't let people scare you! It's hard when you're just starting out. Surround yourself with positive people who have been there. I don't have kids in high school yet and plan to do high school myself (already the naysayers are getting to me on that and I just ignore them). But I am in groups of homeschoolers who have homeschooled many high school kids and they are lovely to talk with. They are smart. They go on to college. They are in careers they love.

5. I don't know what to say about your friend. What "ins and outs" does she mean? Can she give you specifics so you can touch on some of those things? If you get really freaked out about things in general, do some standardized testing that you can get online and give the test at home. Then you can see what holes your kids may need filled before, say, taking the ACT or SAT. Around here kids can get into JuCo at age 16 and then go to another college no problem. I would really only worry about super-schooling if you have a brilliant kid who wants to go to Yale. I know people who have brilliant kids who win chess trophies and spelling bees and I am happy for them. They have an extra challenge and they are rising to it. Good for them!

6. In all your spare time, since you're a SAHM and eat bon bons, read all you can ... I'm working on some John Holt right now that if it doesn't put me to sleep it might get me all fired up and renewed about homeschooling. Try some John Taylor Gatto, as well.

Love ya, friend. I'm here for you! We'll do this together, long distance homeschooling pal. After all, can we do any worse than how WE were schooled? I think not. Our kids will be fine, so will the school kids. It will all work out how it's supposed to :-)

"Wasting" Foil and Other Household Stuff

Joel apologized for wasting foil to make little nunchucks for himself and his siblings. He was hot glue gunning foil balls to the ends of yarn to make little weapons. Michael once apologized for using parchment paper like tracing paper so they could trace Pokemon figures and then cut them out and laminate them.

I don't see any of that as wasting because they are learning. They are being resourceful and making stuff and they are having fun.

I was sick some last week and we didn't get a whole lot of formal homeschooling done. So we "wasted" our week on stuff like this:

• The kids set up little stores and sold stuff to each other (math, economics, handwriting, spelling).
• They had a friend stay the night (social).
• They got to play at a church with an indoor gym and outdoor play area (physical education).
• We had dinner at a friend's house twice (manners, social).
• Daddy was in Wyoming (geography).
• They made these oil/water/salt/food coloring lava lamps (science).
• They got to see the Marching Cobras at Callie's Upward Cheer celebration (music appreciation).
• They gave to a food drive at the celebration (altruism).

Oh, and Joel read a lot. So the week was NOT a total bust! On to the next ...

Teaching Kids to Read

I love love love seeing my kids sitting around reading for pleasure! As a homeschooling mom, I didn't push reading like a crazy person. With Joel, we tried "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" and HATED IT! I threw it across the room in frustration. It did not work for either Joel or Michael. Instead, I like to make sure they recognize their letters FIRST, then know the SOUNDS that go with the letters. Then they can sound out words. After that, we cover sight words and weird rules as they come up.

Joel just read The Hunger Games and loved it. Michael likes Calvin and Hobbes. Hey, comics still count as reading!

Some people are mean about WHEN a kid learns to read. Does it matter, if you are homeschooled and there is nobody to make fun of you? I think not. I'd rather NOT push my kids and then have them ENJOY reading instead of PUSH them for my OWN benefit and then watch them hate it and struggle along. That's just me. I don't feel the need to compete with other parents. I know we rock.

 My baby is so cute when he snuggles up with a book! He used to hate reading, and I tried all sorts of genres on him to get him to read. Then he saw me reading The Hunger Games and asked about it. I decided to let him check it out. No nightmares, and he read it within a week. Ah, the value of a good book.

This is a sight I will sorely miss someday: my boys quietly reading in our family room. Maybe someday I'll have ALL my kids reading in the family room together, alongside Aron and I!

What are YOU reading today?

Cleaning With Kids/I'm in Cincy Parent & Indy's Child!!!

I'm so excited! I wrote an original piece for Cincinnati Parent and Indy's Child called Making Housework a Family Affair and it's online (click on the article title) and out in the magazines. This was a piece I had been working on for years, so when the editor contacted me to see if I had something with this title, I knew it was time to get off my butt and write the thing.

So do you think making kids do housework is bad? Did you do chores when you were a kid?

Next assignment for them = Teen Dating. So if you live in Cincinnati or Indianapolis or know someone who does, please send them my way at mommykerrie at yahoo dot com so I can interview them about navigating the teen dating waters.

Sam Post: I Like Cake (the Band)

So I discovered this rockin' band called Cake. I like the song Going the Distance. But I did some chores for my mom recently to pay for the $1 downlad of the remake of I Will Survive. It's from the 70s, which is a looooong time ago. My dad likes the original best, but my mom likes the newer version.

I like to pop in my earbuds and rock out on Mommy's laptop. My mom grew up around a lot of music: her mom always had cool mix tapes in her car made by her dad, and her dad always played cool records around the house. They always had good music in their van (NOT a minivan!) and her dad would play leg guitar (you know, when somebody plays guitar  on their leg with one hand while they drive with the other.)

They didn't have seatbelts in big ole vans back then so my mom spent many hours on the floor of the van watching her dad play leg guitar to Led Zeppelin and The Who and The Beatles while her mom would journal in a notebook. Mom tells me stories and stuff.

Oh, that's part of my sister Eva in the picture ... she and I are besties. We get in SOO much trouble together and like it when Mom's face turns red because she knows she should spank our butts red but instead her face gets red and she shoos us out of the vicinity of the mess.

So to all my fans, what's your favorite song or memory of childhood/your parents? I promise I will comment back to you in the comments section!

The Kerrie Show Theme Song of the Week

April
Surrender by Cheap Trick

May
I'm Goin' Home by Chris Daughtry
Get Your A** Back Home by Gym Class Heroes

Porn in My Pocket: Adults

Okay, so yesterday I talked about kids and cell phones. Believe me, adults aren't much different. Please don't get me started on the grown adultsI see walking and texting and they don't even acknowledge that their kid is walking next to them or that there is a car barreling down on them at 60 mph and they should get out of the damn way. I'm shocked that some people still have two working thumbs.

So texting is one way adults act like jackasses with phones. Butt-dialing and drunk-dialing is another.

Then there's the fact that you can access porn anytime you want! So for a sex addict, having a phone in the pocket is like an alcoholic having a little bottle of vodka in the pocket. Or like a recovering drug addict having a little bottle of pills in the pocket. Just in case, of course. What a temptation!

It creeps me out that any guy I encounter could maybe be NOT checking baseball scores while waiting in line for his McDonald's, but looking at naked chicks. I've seen guys doing it at the library, for God's sake, why wouldn't they do it on their own phone in front of people? When I see it at the library I just want to smack him upside the back of his stoopid head and ask, "WHY don't you just get internet at your own damn house? Why do I have to walk behind you AT THE LIBRARY and find out that you like large ladies?"

C'mon, anonymous comments. I know you have opinions on this one! Not that I have a fully-formed argument. I don't want to take the Internet off cell phones, so I don't know what the heck I want.

Porn in my Pocket: Kids

Cell phones and little kids do not mix. There. I said it.

I'm also going to say that little kids can barely wipe their butts or remember to breathe, let alone remember to charge and carry around and keep track of a cell phone, not to mention use it responsibly. Responsibly = not prank-calling friends. Not texting pictures of their butt to their friends.

Yes, I know you are going to say something like, "But I am a divorced parent and I want to make sure my kid can contact me at all times." M'kay. I'm sorry that you initially married someone so horrific that you think they wouldn't let your shared child call you if said child needed to. I'm sorry that you don't know where your kid is at all times so they have to have a freaking phone.

Disclaimer: sometimes you might see my 10-year-old with my pink cell phone at a Boy Scout meeting. This is so he can call me to pick him up if it gets out early. It's really unnecessary, though, since there are adults there with phone who would let him call.  I also sometimes send him to the park with it so he can call me to come whoop bully butt if necessary. It has happened before.

So let's say you are the richest person in the world.

• At what age would you get your kid a cell phone?
• And would it be a TracPhone, where you pay by the minute so they can't use it very much?
• Will you make them pay for it?
• Will you disable the Internet?
• Did you know you can disable the Internet?
• Will you let them have texting?
• Did you know I don't have Internet or texting on my cell phone and never have and I am still alive?!

Beyond the Yellow Brick Road

Don't you love it when you sing along to a song and your kids look at you like you're in pain? I've never seen Michael's head whip around faster than when I sing along to this song (haunting and so perfect since I'm from Kansas and all that ... FYI: I don't live on a farm but wouldn't mind if I could be close to a Target). Try it!

Joel Crosses Over to the Other Side

Of course I have tons of pictures of last night's event, but my dad is more on top of life than I am, so I'm posting the pic he emailed me a hot minute after the event. Retired guys and their iPhones ... what are ya gonna do with 'em?

So this is Dad Steve and Stepmom Nancy (note her Nana shirt ... very cool), who came to Joel's Blue and Gold Scouts banquet last night. Yes, folks, he walked over a real bridge and crossed over ... to the other side of scouting ... Boy Scouts, that is. Black gold. Texas tea. Oops, stuck in Beverly Hillbillies land again.

It was AMAZING. Over 100 people turned out on a Sunday night to celebrate two boys crossing over. Crossing over sounds like the boys died and went to heaven, right? Actually, it's like Aron and I died and went to heaven because I hear parents are less involved in Boy Scouts. In Cubbies, we had meetings at our house, coordinated day camp last year, recruited new boys and were Den Leaders for 3 years. Since Michael doesn't want to do Scouts, we are on a break until Sam decides to join.

Keeping up the crossing over/heaven schtick, when the boys go to Boy Scouts they are at that age when they are starting to want their parents less involved in their business anyway. I was a little struck last night by the fact that I have to start letting my baby boy go :-(


So besides Dad and Nancy, Aron's parents and brother came along with 5 of Joel's cousins! Jordan and Ian came early to help set up and chase kids, and Abby and Spencer (my very 1st Confirmation kid ever two years ago!) stayed to clean up. Aron and I took them to 711 after for drinks. Not like margaritas, but like Slurpees!
Gotta go ... Sam woke up a little crabby and I gotta slam some coffee while it's hot since the microwave broke. It's a whole new world without a microwave!