I have met my breaking point. I am officially admitting that I am a human being and that I have limitations. Instead of trying to manage two different blogs (one regular and one about writing), I’m merging them. I’m hoping this gives me more time to write for publication and to stare in amazement at my kids.
And to stop making crazy mistakes, like almost getting myself sued because I didn’t Google book titles and webs sites before I named my e-book. And to attempt to stop offending people SO badly (although I’ll still offend a little bit, I can promise you that).
If you have an e-mail subscription to Mother Writer, please re-sign up at The Kerrie Show on the right-hand side. If you get an e-mail from The Kerrie Show that is about writing and makes you yawn, just delete it and check out tomorrow’s post. If you’re a writer and get a post about my kid’s snotty nose, just move on.
This is certainly not a tightly focused blog … it’s definitely a variety blog. I hope you get a good laugh now and then or maybe even some writing inspiration. Look for lots of Pissy Pregnancy stories and Writer’s Guidelines, as well as excerpts from my newly titled “The Laid-Back Mom’s Parenting Guidebook”.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Christ Renews His Parish Follow-up
Aron came home “normal” from his secret religious weekend and did not drink the Koolaid. The organizers kept the guys up til midnight then woke them Sunday at 6 a.m., so Aron came home and took a nap. The luggage thing was that they drove over to the church in the blizzard so they could sleep there so they’d be warmer. (addition to this post: he was annoyed when they DEMANDED ... not asked, like he's an adult or something ... his watch when he walked in the door. And my husband is not easily annoyed; just look at his wife!)
Then there was the follow-up meeting Wednesday night, because obviously an ENTIRE WEEKEND was not enough and they can only celebrate their faith weekly with other guys. They met to discuss when the WEEKLY meeting would be, and I was a bit incensed because aren’t we BOTH in the Raising-Small-Children phase of our lives? I’m a pretty low-maintenance gal, but as he left he said he “had to” go to weekly meetings with these guys, and I was pretty mad.
The leaders of this group are going to say crap like, “Well, your husband needs a weekly time with other men of faith so he can be a better person and grow in his faith. We’re all busy.”
I say PHOOEY. Well, actually, I say a different word akin to a type of cow pooping, but I’m trying to keep it clean on this site. We can BOTH do all that stuff when the kids are older and much easier to leave. I’m just saying I’ve seen too many people neglect their family in the name of God (Adoration, retreats, Bible studies, being at church constantly, volunteering at church constantly). Some of this is great and nourishing to the soul. Some of this is merely a way to escape family life, obligations and responsibilities. Very sad. Let’s get lost in church and just call it “God’s time.”
So here are THREE WAYS in which we are a different family than anyone else he’s going to meet at these weekly meetings, THREE WAYS in which I think Aron earns an exemption, and if he won’t let the people at church know this, perhaps I have some e-mailing of this blog post to do:
1. We homeschool. It isn’t too crazy right now, but it’s going to get that way the older the kids get. Aron will have to take over the hard math and science, as well as teaching them how to change the oil in a car and do woodworking. As a homeschooling mom who is home with a bunch of kids all day and who RARELY asks for time to herself, I need a break every now and then. A weekly commitment really cuts into family time (unless it’s a date night, and I’m working on that!).
2. We have more than 2.2 children. They take a lot of time and love and attention and teaching. They are mentally and physically exhausting and worth every second. I’m pregnant and would sure love to cash in my gift certificate from Christmas for the scalp massage.
3. Aron travels. Sure, he’s home right now for a stretch, but then he’s gone for weeks on end. I think when he’s in town, he should be with his family that he chose to make and supporting his wife. I’m demanding, I know.
I am NOT saying my husband should not get time to himself. He gets plenty of time in his workshop alone, and plenty of times I take all the kids out of the house so he can be by himself. Hey, I think he’s lucky to be at work all day, where he can pee without an entourage! Trust me, I don’t have a short leash on this man.
So in a week or so he’s going to go to ANOTHER meeting to possibly DRINK THE KOOLAID and SIGN something saying he’s in for SIX MONTHS of meetings at one night per week at 3 hours per night, which comes to a total of 72 hours (plus driving time) away from home. I bet he could finish a few of his 100 house/boat/van/truck projects in that time. AND he's decided he wants to start going to his Saturday morning group as well (which means another nap for him!!!) Guess I’d better suck it up, quit whining, and learn how to remodel a bathroom by myself!!! (*amendement to this post: he's thinking about NOT signing the deal and NOT going to these meetings, so there is hope here!)
I’m a loose cannon, people. If you’re smart, you will NOT approach me about any Bible studies, retreats, weekends, scrapbooking crops, Mary Kay parties, etc. I have my hands full, but at least I know it.
Then there was the follow-up meeting Wednesday night, because obviously an ENTIRE WEEKEND was not enough and they can only celebrate their faith weekly with other guys. They met to discuss when the WEEKLY meeting would be, and I was a bit incensed because aren’t we BOTH in the Raising-Small-Children phase of our lives? I’m a pretty low-maintenance gal, but as he left he said he “had to” go to weekly meetings with these guys, and I was pretty mad.
The leaders of this group are going to say crap like, “Well, your husband needs a weekly time with other men of faith so he can be a better person and grow in his faith. We’re all busy.”
I say PHOOEY. Well, actually, I say a different word akin to a type of cow pooping, but I’m trying to keep it clean on this site. We can BOTH do all that stuff when the kids are older and much easier to leave. I’m just saying I’ve seen too many people neglect their family in the name of God (Adoration, retreats, Bible studies, being at church constantly, volunteering at church constantly). Some of this is great and nourishing to the soul. Some of this is merely a way to escape family life, obligations and responsibilities. Very sad. Let’s get lost in church and just call it “God’s time.”
So here are THREE WAYS in which we are a different family than anyone else he’s going to meet at these weekly meetings, THREE WAYS in which I think Aron earns an exemption, and if he won’t let the people at church know this, perhaps I have some e-mailing of this blog post to do:
1. We homeschool. It isn’t too crazy right now, but it’s going to get that way the older the kids get. Aron will have to take over the hard math and science, as well as teaching them how to change the oil in a car and do woodworking. As a homeschooling mom who is home with a bunch of kids all day and who RARELY asks for time to herself, I need a break every now and then. A weekly commitment really cuts into family time (unless it’s a date night, and I’m working on that!).
2. We have more than 2.2 children. They take a lot of time and love and attention and teaching. They are mentally and physically exhausting and worth every second. I’m pregnant and would sure love to cash in my gift certificate from Christmas for the scalp massage.
3. Aron travels. Sure, he’s home right now for a stretch, but then he’s gone for weeks on end. I think when he’s in town, he should be with his family that he chose to make and supporting his wife. I’m demanding, I know.
I am NOT saying my husband should not get time to himself. He gets plenty of time in his workshop alone, and plenty of times I take all the kids out of the house so he can be by himself. Hey, I think he’s lucky to be at work all day, where he can pee without an entourage! Trust me, I don’t have a short leash on this man.
So in a week or so he’s going to go to ANOTHER meeting to possibly DRINK THE KOOLAID and SIGN something saying he’s in for SIX MONTHS of meetings at one night per week at 3 hours per night, which comes to a total of 72 hours (plus driving time) away from home. I bet he could finish a few of his 100 house/boat/van/truck projects in that time. AND he's decided he wants to start going to his Saturday morning group as well (which means another nap for him!!!) Guess I’d better suck it up, quit whining, and learn how to remodel a bathroom by myself!!! (*amendement to this post: he's thinking about NOT signing the deal and NOT going to these meetings, so there is hope here!)
I’m a loose cannon, people. If you’re smart, you will NOT approach me about any Bible studies, retreats, weekends, scrapbooking crops, Mary Kay parties, etc. I have my hands full, but at least I know it.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
“The Laid-Back Mom’s Parenting Guidebook” E-book Excerpt
Someday I'll get the whole e-book overhauled so you can order it without me getting sued. Should be available by the weekend. Thanks for being patient with me! In the meantime, here's a tiny teaser ...
From the section called Laid-Back Pregnancy:
SEAFOOD
This frustrates me to no end. I’m too lazy to keep track of what kind of seafood I am “allowed” to eat so I don’t end up with a 4-headed baby. If I were smart instead of laid-back, I wouldn’t eat ANY fish, seeing as how our oceans and rivers are used as toxic waste dumps more often than we will ever know. But I’ve enjoyed shrimp, canned tuna, salmon and assorted other ocean fish during every one of my 4 pregnancies, and my kids seem okay … so far.
From the section called Laid-Back Pregnancy:
SEAFOOD
This frustrates me to no end. I’m too lazy to keep track of what kind of seafood I am “allowed” to eat so I don’t end up with a 4-headed baby. If I were smart instead of laid-back, I wouldn’t eat ANY fish, seeing as how our oceans and rivers are used as toxic waste dumps more often than we will ever know. But I’ve enjoyed shrimp, canned tuna, salmon and assorted other ocean fish during every one of my 4 pregnancies, and my kids seem okay … so far.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
My Humane Son
The boys tied a rope to the ceiling fan in the dining room, then tied one of their Littlest Pet Shop mice to the end of the rope. Then they turned the fan on HIGH and watched the mouse spin.
Joel came up to me later and said, “Mommy, I let the mouse down so he could puke.”
I told him that was very humane of him.
Joel came up to me later and said, “Mommy, I let the mouse down so he could puke.”
I told him that was very humane of him.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Living in Poverty ... on Purpose
I got this as a Christmas letter; it is written by a homeschooling friend named Erin Schmidt.
“As we mentioned in last year’s Christmas letter, in hopes of understanding poverty better, we planned to experience it by living at the poverty level ($21,000 for a family of 4) in 2008. The year is almost over, we’ve managed to stick with it, have learned a lot and would like to share some of our experience with you.
Our poverty experiment turned into more of a reality when Dave was laid-off this spring. We experienced the stress of not having health insurance, how much red-tape and time it takes to obtain it – and how expensive it is to simply “continue coverage” through Cobra - $900/month for our very healthy family – or over half of our monthly poverty-level budget. We had our first ER visit – the bill for a 2 minute glue job on a cut totaled $1,800 (luckily still insured). Erin needed some meds which cost us $100 (being uninsured) – whereas her Dad got the same meds for $5 with his insurance. A pharmacist told us that folks without insurance pay a premium amount to make up for the loss incurred by the insurance company’s low rates. We are now aware of the hardships placed upon a person living paycheck to paycheck who needs medicines and/or medical assistance. We’ve become resourceful. When Lucy had a big gash above her eye, we said many prayers, sealed it up with steri-strips and avoided the ER completely.
When you’re living in poverty, it’s doesn’t take much set you back to a point that is very hard to recover from. Often, there's barely enough money to cover your basic needs and little to none is left for any accidents or savings. For us, the unexpected included a traffic violation, a parking ticket, medical bills, and damage to our van. Many things are put on hold longer than they should – like a brake job on the van, trips to the dentist, eye doctor, annual physical, fixing the vacuum cleaner, etc. These things usually end up haunting you in the end – that brake job that you put on hold due to finances, could end up costing you an accident in the future that could cost much more than the brake job. The poor are sometimes viewed as “lazy” or “irresponsible” – for some, this may be true – but most are likely dealing with only the most urgent needs, and “just keeping their head above water”.
To achieve our poverty level budget, we had to cut out all extras: no eating out (bummer), eating cheap food (hello Aldi), no treats (pop, sweets, gum, juice, beer), learned to can abundant food (jellies &; pickles), home hair cuts (yikes), no vacation bible school, swim lessons, sports, music lessons, summer camps, trips to the swimming pool, (sigh), no summer vacation (sob, that’s the highlight of our year), no garage sales (Erin’s favorite hobby), no field trips/outings that cost money (darn), no renewing memberships (Costco, adoption & homeschool support groups, science city, etc), no babysitters (good-bye date nights), no coffee shop visits (a weekend favorite). We tried to keep our energy bills minimal by keeping our house cold in the winter and hot in the summer. The combination of an uncomfortable house and of not having creature comforts made it awkward having friends over and made us feel less hospitable. We calculated the cost to travel (using $.42/mile to include gas & wear/tear) and were amazed how quickly it adds up - a round-trip to the suburbs can quickly add up to $20. We only traveled to see our family when something big was happening this year. Needless to say, it would be easy to get depressed if you didn’t see an end to it. Our situation is different - yet we still had these feelings occasionally.
Poverty is not just about money. We began learning about poverty by reading A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby Payne. She defines poverty as a lack of resources: relational, spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, financial, etc. We experienced financial poverty only; had we been lacking other resources, it would have been a very tough year for us.
Through the year we’ve been trying to be with the poor, to the extent we can by working among the poor at soup kitchens and food pantries, attending discussion groups, learning from those who work directly with the poor, and talking to people on the street that ask for money. It helped soften our hearts, wash away our quick judgments, and recognize that these people are human and like all of us, they have a life story. Our Catholic Worker friends introduced us to the term, “personalism” – which loosely means to make society’s problems your problems or to take on, in some personal way, someone else’s problem and help them work it out – to help work for justice.
Our experience was just an attempt to understand. It’s impossible to replicate a poverty situation, and we acknowledge that we didn’t and couldn’t come close to fully experiencing it. The year was productive though, and we’re glad that we saw it through. We learned that we can live with less. We realize that we were lucky in that we didn’t have any major issues, medical conditions, accidents or other things happen this year. We also have a greater awareness and appreciation for the resources we do have – our family and upbringing, our education, our values, good health and intellect. Thanks to those of you who inquired about our journey throughout the year. It was a year of growth, learning, understanding, and compassion. If this has sparked your interest, you should try it for 3 months, 6 months, or a year!”
Do you think YOU could do this? I know I COULD, but WOULD I? It would be a great lesson for the kids, and we could sure pay off our house a lot faster if we put the “extra” money toward that instead of fast food and a toasty-warm house in the winter.
“As we mentioned in last year’s Christmas letter, in hopes of understanding poverty better, we planned to experience it by living at the poverty level ($21,000 for a family of 4) in 2008. The year is almost over, we’ve managed to stick with it, have learned a lot and would like to share some of our experience with you.
Our poverty experiment turned into more of a reality when Dave was laid-off this spring. We experienced the stress of not having health insurance, how much red-tape and time it takes to obtain it – and how expensive it is to simply “continue coverage” through Cobra - $900/month for our very healthy family – or over half of our monthly poverty-level budget. We had our first ER visit – the bill for a 2 minute glue job on a cut totaled $1,800 (luckily still insured). Erin needed some meds which cost us $100 (being uninsured) – whereas her Dad got the same meds for $5 with his insurance. A pharmacist told us that folks without insurance pay a premium amount to make up for the loss incurred by the insurance company’s low rates. We are now aware of the hardships placed upon a person living paycheck to paycheck who needs medicines and/or medical assistance. We’ve become resourceful. When Lucy had a big gash above her eye, we said many prayers, sealed it up with steri-strips and avoided the ER completely.
When you’re living in poverty, it’s doesn’t take much set you back to a point that is very hard to recover from. Often, there's barely enough money to cover your basic needs and little to none is left for any accidents or savings. For us, the unexpected included a traffic violation, a parking ticket, medical bills, and damage to our van. Many things are put on hold longer than they should – like a brake job on the van, trips to the dentist, eye doctor, annual physical, fixing the vacuum cleaner, etc. These things usually end up haunting you in the end – that brake job that you put on hold due to finances, could end up costing you an accident in the future that could cost much more than the brake job. The poor are sometimes viewed as “lazy” or “irresponsible” – for some, this may be true – but most are likely dealing with only the most urgent needs, and “just keeping their head above water”.
To achieve our poverty level budget, we had to cut out all extras: no eating out (bummer), eating cheap food (hello Aldi), no treats (pop, sweets, gum, juice, beer), learned to can abundant food (jellies &; pickles), home hair cuts (yikes), no vacation bible school, swim lessons, sports, music lessons, summer camps, trips to the swimming pool, (sigh), no summer vacation (sob, that’s the highlight of our year), no garage sales (Erin’s favorite hobby), no field trips/outings that cost money (darn), no renewing memberships (Costco, adoption & homeschool support groups, science city, etc), no babysitters (good-bye date nights), no coffee shop visits (a weekend favorite). We tried to keep our energy bills minimal by keeping our house cold in the winter and hot in the summer. The combination of an uncomfortable house and of not having creature comforts made it awkward having friends over and made us feel less hospitable. We calculated the cost to travel (using $.42/mile to include gas & wear/tear) and were amazed how quickly it adds up - a round-trip to the suburbs can quickly add up to $20. We only traveled to see our family when something big was happening this year. Needless to say, it would be easy to get depressed if you didn’t see an end to it. Our situation is different - yet we still had these feelings occasionally.
Poverty is not just about money. We began learning about poverty by reading A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby Payne. She defines poverty as a lack of resources: relational, spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, financial, etc. We experienced financial poverty only; had we been lacking other resources, it would have been a very tough year for us.
Through the year we’ve been trying to be with the poor, to the extent we can by working among the poor at soup kitchens and food pantries, attending discussion groups, learning from those who work directly with the poor, and talking to people on the street that ask for money. It helped soften our hearts, wash away our quick judgments, and recognize that these people are human and like all of us, they have a life story. Our Catholic Worker friends introduced us to the term, “personalism” – which loosely means to make society’s problems your problems or to take on, in some personal way, someone else’s problem and help them work it out – to help work for justice.
Our experience was just an attempt to understand. It’s impossible to replicate a poverty situation, and we acknowledge that we didn’t and couldn’t come close to fully experiencing it. The year was productive though, and we’re glad that we saw it through. We learned that we can live with less. We realize that we were lucky in that we didn’t have any major issues, medical conditions, accidents or other things happen this year. We also have a greater awareness and appreciation for the resources we do have – our family and upbringing, our education, our values, good health and intellect. Thanks to those of you who inquired about our journey throughout the year. It was a year of growth, learning, understanding, and compassion. If this has sparked your interest, you should try it for 3 months, 6 months, or a year!”
Do you think YOU could do this? I know I COULD, but WOULD I? It would be a great lesson for the kids, and we could sure pay off our house a lot faster if we put the “extra” money toward that instead of fast food and a toasty-warm house in the winter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)