This article came out of trying to be in too many places during Christmas with 3 little kids in tow. Now we spread it all out, say no to some things, and it is a much more enjoyable and less stressful season (especially now that we have 5 kids)!
Ah, childhood! Remember when you
didn’t have to worry about being in three places at once during the holidays? The
dilemma of where to go seemed to be so easily worked out by our parents
and extended family. Now that we are grown-ups, by the time the new year rolls around
most of us seem to end up totally frazzled from celebrating the holidays several
times with many sets of relatives. Adding your own kids to the mix can make
situations even more crazy, leaving them – and you – feeling like the rope in a
game of Human Tug-of-War. Below are some quick fixes that will help you and your
family be full of holiday cheer this year.
1. Combine family events. Instead
of running to your parents’ house and then to see each of your siblings
separately, consider having just one shin-dig at one location when most
everyone can attend. To make life even easier, forego the sit-down dinner and
choose to go the potluck route. Some people choose to throw a small party at
their house every year on the second Friday in December, for example, and have things
for the kids to do, like building a gingerbread house or painting ornaments.
2. Consider an Open House. Choose a
location (like your uncle’s house), a date and a convenient time frame when
family members can come and go as they please without the pressure of being on
time for a meal. Serve finger foods and other easy fare to make it easy on the
hostess.
3. Attend the far-away celebrations
only every other year. It’s a fact of life that people marry someone from
another state or move out of town due to a job change or other circumstance.
This can leave many families feeling pulled in too many directions when the
holidays roll around. It can be difficult to decide how to come together, so
work out the details in advance.
4. Negotiate annually. All families
are different so it can be practically impossible to please everybody every
year. One year your cousin may need to leave early to spend the rest of the day
with her husband’s family. Another year it may just work out best to hold the
event on a completely different day of the month. Which brings me to …
5. Help your extended family
realize that, for example, Christmas can be even nicer when spent on a day
other than December 25th. You could get together with your
grandparents a couple of weeks before or after Christmas Day for a much more
relaxed mood. You would get to take your time opening gifts while enjoying each
other’s company. What a time to treasure and look forward to every year!
6. Do drop in. Elaine St. James,
author of Simplify Your Christmas: 100
Ways to Reduce the Stress and Recapture the Joy of the Holidays, only
visits her sister and her family to raise a toast but not to eat. She takes no
food for the meal, no gifts, and says to her family, “We’re bringing ourselves
and our best wishes for the season.”
7. Just stay home. Some make the
choice to celebrate Christmas Day at their own home every year. The decision may
not popular, and you might have to defend it every year, but it could be the
most relaxing and fun day of your entire year. Just imagine yourself hanging
out in comfy sweatpants all day long while you play with your kids and their
new toys, games and other gifts.
8. If tensions get high between
family members, think of others who may not have any family, or even a home.
Consider serving food at a homeless shelter sometime around the holiday or
being a bell-ringer for The Salvation Army for a couple of hours. Elaine St.
James has another great idea: Make a paper bag lunch with a sandwich, cookies,
fruit and juice drink and pass it out to the homeless in your area. These are
great opportunities to take your kids along and teach them the true meaning of
the holidays.
To ensure no feelings are hurt,
make sure your family knows they are always welcome to spend holidays at your
home (with some notice, of course!). With a little understanding and
communication, everyone in your family can have a peaceful holiday season.
Kerrie McLoughlin is just
a regular mom who writes about parenting 5 kids at TheKerrieShow.com and for over 100 regional parenting magazines and shares her expertise in her ebook Make Money to Write About Your Kids.
