Pokemon Cake, Barbie/Cookie Monster Cupcakes

Here are the promised photos of Eva's Pikachu Pokemon cake and her doll and Cookie Monster cupcakes. They were made by my friend's 12-year-old homeschooled daughter (A&A's Custom Cakes), and you can find her on Facebook by clicking here. If you live in Kansas City, have her make you a cake or cupcakes! Peruse her online portfolio!

My First Mammogram. I'll Treasure It Always.

Welcome to 40, ladies! Yesterday I got to go for my very first mammogram. Then I couldn't shut up about it, so I'd like to apologize to all the moms, dads, kids and babies I told about my mammogram yesterday at the homeschool Christmas party. That was probably uncalled-for.

What IS called-for is for me to tell YOU about it. You are lucky because you can just delete the post. The poor people at the party had to give me an awkward smile and then try to meander away. Again, sorry.

It was all actually quite simple and fast and painless. It was also awkward as hell. Let me explain.

So I arrive on time and as I wait the 20 minutes for my little appointment I got an article edited ... whoppee! Productivity! Then I was led to a room where I got to strip from the waist up and put on a hospital gown (can't they make those things prettier?!), open in the front. Then I got to awkwardly stand in front of a woman in a room while she asked me all sorts of questions about live births and nursing and family history. I may as well have been on a stage.

Then the fun part began. She warned me that she would be flopping my boob (THUNK) onto the little machine thingie. I'd had women handle my boobs when I was learning to nurse, and my male doc does my breast exam every year (and every dang year I blush), but it was still weird.

So first my boob got SMEESHED up and down. Then side to side. Then we did it on the other side. It was quick and painless.

I went in with a smile, happy to have insurance and happy we have this sort of technology.

I did it for Giuliana Rancic and for my family. I'll do it again next year. It wasn't so bad.

McDonald's Sock Policy -- They Ran Out!!!

Okay, you will NOT believe this. You know how I wrote about McDonald's playland sock policy earlier this year? I was so freaking mad at the way I was treated by this one guy. I now know his name is George, because I had to see him the other day when we went for Eva's birthday. So we all get into the McDonald's (a treat for Eva's birthday) to eat and play. The kids start taking off their coats and shoes and it comes to my attention that Callie HAS ON NO SOCKS. I think I have some in the car but it's colder than a witch's you-know-what in a brass bra and I am NOT going outside. So I suck it up and BUY SOME SOCKS for one dollar.

When we get our food, Roberto tells us they are OUT OF SOCKS! Are you dying right now?! It's DECEMBER in KANSAS! They like to harrass people about wearing socks and THEY ARE OUT!

On a different note, I find it hard to dog out McDonald's too hard because one of my favorite people in the world works there and his name is Roberto. He's worked there for years and years and always gives my kids extra toys and takes my food into the playroom and gets us ketchup. So on Eva's birthday I had to snap a picture of, like, the BEST employee ever. I mean, the guy is amazingly bilingual and speaks Spanish with me so patiently every time I see him (which used to be a lot). This guy should be managing a huge company with his customer service skills, not working at McDonald's. I hope they pay him VERY well because he rocks. If you see him, tell him he's famous (ha!).

Do Moms Need a Break?

I don't know what I was thinking when I made this flippin' sign. Heard of WISHFUL THINKING?! I must have been having a hard day and put myself in a 2-minute time-out in my room to avoid blowing up at all the chaos that was happening.

Here's my question: doesn't everyone need a break? I mean, even regular working Joes get a smoke break if they need it. Recently Aron and I went on a date and talked about me getting out of the house more alone since Sam is getting older and stays at home well with Jordan or Aron. He thinks I need 2 hours to myself TWICE A WEEK.

Here's the thing: that sounds great. I don't LOVE being away from my kids, but I could sure use some UNINTERRUPTED time to scrapbook and to write articles. It would be cool to be productive AND to make some money to pay for my chocolate habit.

So why do I feel guilty when I leave the house and have a lovely, recharging time? This is such a cliche by now, but I truly do feel like a better mom when I get some time away from my kids. I guess it was always easier to find my sanity at home when I wasn't homeschooling, when I wasn't trying to write for money, when I wasn't caring for 5 human beings, when those precious human beings didn't talk so much, when they weren't in so many activities!

I know taking care of a baby is physically hard. Taking care of a child as he grows up is the hardest thing you will ever do emotionally, spiritually and more. A person needs to take a break when they are doing the most important job in the world.

How do you get your breaktime in?

Happy Birthday to Eva, Who is Fo

Eva is fo today. That means my kids are 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10. We like to keep things in the even digits around here. I don't have a photo for you right now because my flash drive is ????? and my cord to get pictures off my camera onto a computer is ????? but don't fear for my sanity, folks. I have a great day planned.

Stephen will love that I'm braving McDonald's today. Before you judge, let me just say they have Hello Kitty toys and Eva loves Hello Kitty. I don't think we've been inside McD's for months. We will be sure to wear socks and surgical gloves. Would someone please send me a petri dish/swabbing kit to take the next time I go?

Then we get to see my dad and stepmom, who are bringing over a gift for Miss Happy Little Naughty Eva. Then we load into the car like the hellions we are and go to a friend's house to play. Maybe I can do some 2007 scrapbooking if the kids play nice. We'll see.

Then we get a brief "downtime" ... then WHOOSH ... off to religious ed class and gymnastics. Religious ed is work for my oldest 3 and Aron, but the 2 littlest and I hang out in the nursery to play. Then on to gymnastics for more playing while we wait for the boys to be done gymnasticking.

I'll get some photos up soon ... a friend's homeschooled kid made some awesome cakes/cupcakes for Eva's Saturday at-home party. Plus I took a pic of Eva sleeping this morning that is precious.

Gotta go ... Eva is running around in her usual swimsuit as there is snow on the ground here. Usually we just throw a fancy dress on over her swimsuit and head out!

Sorry to beat you over the head with my articles, but I have to pimp this piece yet again, only because I think it's cool that it's in NOLA Baby & Child (New Orleans!).

We Are a Nation of Big Babies

*beware: I'm cranky today!

I swear I get my best blog post ideas (i.e., stuff to make fun of) from watching 2 seconds of The Today Show once a week. This morning this woman is talking about being the Mall Germ Patrol. First of all, she says restrooms are incredibly germy. I have known people who have done acrobatics to avoid touching door handles and sink handles and toilet seats, etc. I LOVE when I go to pee and someone before me has peed all over the freaking toilet in an effort to not have her tender little butt touch the seat.

First of all, unless you scratch your butt all the time, you probably won’t catch a cold from your ass touching the seat. Second of all, THANK YOU so much for leaving pee on the toilet for ME to either sit on or clean up. You are a real thoughtful jerkette!

THEN I find out that the faucet handle is nasty germy and that you should not touch it. Can I just say that I am a very healthy person compared to many people I know. AND I rarely wash my hands. I used to be mildly ashamed of the fact, but now I am coming out of the healthy closet. My kids are the same. We don’t “wash up before dinner” and if all we do is pee we don’t wash our hands after we use the bathroom. We are a very healthy family. We’d probably be sicker if we washed our hands in public restrooms more often.

Then this dumb woman says try not to touch the escalator handles!!!! And that if you have to, wear your mittens. I’m sure that will work well in California and Florida where they always carry mittens with them. Then of course do NOT touch your face with your mitten. If you have an itch, suffer through it. I just got an idea for a great invention: sanitary itching sticks. They come one to a package and you don’t have to touch anything unsanitary to itch your nose or eye!

Then I had to turn it off because I was griping too loud about us being a nation of big babies (only I didn’t use the word BABY; I used a word that starts with a P). Look, all I know is that most of us would not survive another Great Depression because we might die if we did not have our Purell clutched tightly to our bosom at all times.

LEGO Advent Calendar

Catholics take Advent very seriously. So does the LEGO Company.

Michael wants this so bad! But by the time he would get it for Christmas, Advent would be pretty much over. I got them these $1 chocolate Advent calendars at Aldi for a grand total of 5 bucks, and this LEGO one is like $30. I told God that if I get a writing check in the mail today for $30 or more I might just have to go get one because it looks like fun. We shall see.

I'll Take a Doggie Bag to Go

God Gives Me a Mommy Break ... and a Kleenex Person

I took this picture one day last week when Aron was out of town. Things can get pretty crazy around here, as I'm sure you can guess, but there came a point in our day when I realized the kids were QUIET and were ALL working happily at the dining room table. Of course I had to take a photo of this rarity and treasure the moment. This little creative session yielded this gem from Michael:

Personalized Christmas Ornaments ... Family Bed!!!

I got this at PersonalCreations.com and got 500 MyPoints as well! Remember I've told you about MyPoints before, so if you sign up there, puh-lease use me (mommykerrie) as the person who referred you because I get a few points for doing so. Anyway, I'm coming up on 10,000 points soon and that means $50 cash in my PayPal account (I am choosing that option over getting a few gift cards since we need money for Christmas instead).

But I digress like I am prone to do. I dig this ornament so much. I don't collect much stuff these days since we don't have the space and I am turning anti-accumulation. I get rid of a bag of crap about twice a month these days and hit the Half Price Books to sell movies and books about once a month. But this personalized thing is so special because all my babies are in the bed together! If I get pregnant again someday, I'll just order another ornament with Aron, myself and the new baby on it and hang the ornaments together.

Personalized stuff can be costly ($15) but if you don't get it very often it is so worth it and so special.

Playing in the Leaf Piles

When I pulled up in the driveway yesterday from taking 4 kids shopping at Aldi, Aron and Michael had raked a huge leaf pile for me to drive through! They were going to hide in it, but were afraid I might run them over. Good thinking, guys!

Yesterday Aron was off work since he's been traveling so much and didn't get to take last week off. So he focused on the leaf raking. It was one of those days where the temperature SAYS it's like 40 degrees, but the sun is out and there is no wind so it's warmish in a fall kind of way.

Later I took the kids to a park (not the school park since we'd probably be kicked out, right!), then when we got back Aron had another huge leaf pile. The kids did flips into it, rode bikes into it, swung into it and more. The kids getting out of school were in awe of our cool pile and many stopped to jump into it. As Aron is off again, today holds more raking fun ... in the backyard.

Today over at Homeschooling Mommybot I give my version of European "explorers" because the history books are making me fall asleep.

Have a great Tuesday!

Pokemon and Thomas the Train T-shirts

I love when kids hit that stage where they want to be BIG. When the start knowing what they like and hunting it down. For example, Sam is in love with trains (like most boys, I know). So I tracked down an old Thomas the Tank Engine t-shirt that the boys had when they were his age. His face lit up when he saw it and he put it right on, even though it's huge on him! Notice the STILL unfinished kitchen wall behind him. I've been slacking on that little project.

One day we were getting ready to go to Pokemon Club at the library and Sam tracked down this Pokemon t-shirt in his brothers' closet and put it on. It looks like a dress on him, but he didn't care because he knew he was dressed appropriately for the occasion. In case you're wondering where to get Pokemon t-shirts, I saw one at Target that was of the new black and white characters but they only had 2 left in a size medium. Have a great Monday! My hubs is off work for a few days, so I have nothing left to do but strip the rest of the dang kitchen wallpaper (yes, folks, THREE layers dating back as far as 1966).

Inappropriate Parenting Comments

Sometimes things come out of our mouths (or in our emails) that are totally inappropriate. Those are the moments I love because they make us real! Here are a few of the latest funnies:

1. A guy I know sent out an email titled "Pimpin' Girl Scout Cookies" ... PIMPIN' them!!!! I pictured him with a big, purple furry hat and platform shoes sending poor, defenseless boxes of cookies out into the world to make him money. No offense to pimps.

2. The Prader-Willi Syndrome Association sends out their fundraiser and the tagline is "still hungry for a cure." The reason this is funny is because one of the characteristics of P-W Syndrome is that a kid's brain tells the kid that it's hungry all the time so the kid want to eat constantly.

3. At Bible Study, I noticed a mom who had her kid in those pants that snap from foot to crotch. I said something about his cool STRIPPER PANTS. Then I was worried she would snub me, but she LAUGHED. 

Thank God for people with thick skin and a sense of humor!

A Starbuck's Carpet Picnic

When Aron's out of town, I like to do something special every now and then for/with the kids. Last week I surprised them by going to Starbuck's and spending a ton of money on stuff they always think looks good. We got peppermint brownie cake pops, red velvet whoopee pies, chocolate whoopee pies and ham/egg sandwiches. When we got to the window we got a free hot chocolate, which I split between the kids, adding some milk to make it seem like more. Then Joel made a fire (yes, his dad has taught him how to do it; he's better at it than I am because at least he knows to open the flue!). They put blankets on the floor and had a carpet picnic. It was awesome.

A-Z Quasi-Funny What I'm Thankful For

 I'm sure it will come as no big shock that I am thankful for my children and for my husband. I am also thankful for so many other things. Lemme do an ABC list for ya!

Aron, amazing, amorous spouse
Boobs with milk in them and industrial-strength BRAS
Callie, my baby girl, chocolate, Coke, coffee, Chapstick, Carmex, Camaros
Doing stuff
Eva, my baby girl
Friends (you know who you are)
God, going places
Homeschooling, Haters (they spur me on), our House
In-laws (yes, all of them)
Joel, my baby boy and Jordan, daughtersitter
Kicking ass and taking names
Love
Michael, my baby boy and Mustangs and my Mommyvan
Never having to work at a day job again (hopefully)
Opportunities
Power of prayer, parents and steppies who rock
Qualms, having none
Reading, Reever the little singer girl
Samuel, my baby boy and sarcasm
Teenagers, God bless 'em and their hormones! I remember!
Understanding
Vienna sausage
Writing
Xylophones and x-ray machines (what do you WANT me to say?)
YOU, for suffering through this post
Zoos ... any and all because I get to shirk my home responsibilities and play with my kids for the day

Add your own!

Loose Park in Kansas City, Missouri

A few weeks ago we grabbed my mom and headed to Loose Park in Kansas City, Missouri. So much history there! They have this gorgeous rose garden that is famous for it's many varieties of roses, some of which are very old.

isn't this the best tree for a kid to hang out on?!

The park is huge, even sporting a little lake with ducks!

To end the day right, we went to Baskin Robbins in Brookside for a boatload of ice cream courtesy of my mom, Tutu (Hawaiian for grandma, and no, she is not Hawaiian).

My Son the Altar Server

This is Joel on his first day being an altar server! There are two more kids who do it with him, but I had to crop them out because I didn't know if their parents would be okay with having them on this raunchy blog! Anyway ... I was so proud I CRIED when he walked in. I CRY when they walk in for their First Communion (so far only 2 kids of mine have done it) and I am sure I will BAWL LIKE A LITTLE BABY and go all fetal when they get married. It's just what I do. It's my thing, my schtick. I try to tell myself to knock it off, but when I see one of my kids doing something all MATURE that shows they are growing up, the waterworks start. I really should carry more Kleenex. Thankfully, Aron often carries a nice snotrag around (I mean, I handkerchief), because he's all old school like that. I was hoping that having MORE kids would safeguard me from some of these my-baby-is-leaving-me kind of emotions, but it's simply not true. Crap, now I'm getting all emotional just writing this post, so I gotta go. Have a great day! Savor every single one of them!

Firetrucks are Cool, a Guest Post by Sam

Okay, so a few weeks ago some dumb kid set the recycle Dumpster at the school park on fire ... again. I don't condone that sort of behavior, but I do like when the firetruck comes to put out the fire cuz then we get to walk over to the school park and watch the fire hose and talk to the firemen and GET FIREMAN HATS!

And then I like to wear my fire hat ALL THE TIME.

Even while I'm eating. I think I love firetrucks more than the average Sam because on the day I was born, I WAS READY TO BE BORN. I mean, let me out, already. So I got labor started around 7 a.m. and by 8:30 I had Mom all freaked out and stuttering to Dad, "Call 911" and Dad was all like, "Nah, really? You're fine." And she's like killing him with her eyes, trying to say that there ain't no way she's making it to the truck in the state I've got her in! So the AMBULANCE came and the FIRETRUCK! And I was almost born in the ambulance, but not quite. It was cool.

Gratitude Check

There are crappy times in the life of any mother, stay-at-home or not. I like to gripe as much as anyone about how I'd love to have a cook and a trainer and a cleaning lady and a personal secretary. I'd love to just homeschool and chill with the kids and chase them around and read and write and travel with my family and go on dates with my man and always dress fashionably and have great hair and makeup. So there's the Mommy Curse: to have these wonderful blessings and this great life, we have to deal with all the crap (sometimes literally) that goes along with it.

As we come up on Thanksgiving, I think we're called to really reflect on what we are grateful for, on our blessings. There are always two ways to look at things. Like, for example:

Sure, we are broke, but if we were rich we would probably turn into total JERKS like so many do.

Sure, your kids has autism or Down Syndrome or some other health concern, but at least he is ALIVE.

Sure, your marriage is in trouble, but there is always HOPE and HELP.

Sure, my husband travels for work, but that just means he has a JOB.

Sure, the house is always a mess, but at least we have a place to LIVE.

Sure, my car is dinged up and sometimes doesn't want to start, but at least we have a way to GO PLACES.

Accepting Help as a Mother

People, some days as a parent are just crazy, and you know I'm right because you've been there. Not EVERY day (thank God!), but some days are, as an example, like this:

1. Your husband leaves town for work on a Sunday night.
2. All the kids chase him up the street, waving to him until he's out of sight.
3. You have to stay on top of the baby lest he run into the street. You've birthed 5 babies and really have to remember to buy some adult diapers next time you go to the store since you seem to be running after the littlest one a lot lately.
4. The baby doesn't want to come home, so you pick him up and he gets pissy and knocks your prized Chanel glasses off your face and onto the concrete (I am SO not materialistic, so spending a fortune on glasses that make me look good and help me see AND carry my favorite designer's name was a big deal in my household budget).
5. You have to wrangle the baby all the way down the street, and your middle child skins her toe ... bad. Like blood everywhere bad. You can't pick her up and let the baby run ...
6. ... so a woman you JUST MET who has a dog on a leash offers to carry your bleeding child down the street to your house.

What a lifesaver. What a sweet woman. She got blood on her jeans. I love her.

**As we were cleaning up the toe, Joel came in with a bag of Scout popcorn with a hole in it. He said a critter had been chewing on it in the garage. There goes a $16 bag of popcorn that we will have to pay for AND replace with a fresh back from headquarters. Thank goodness for blogging ... what a great outlet. And for you, well, at least you can say your day was probably better than mine last Sunday :-)

During stressful times, I like to remember happier days, like when we went to Boo at the Zoo a few weeks ago and rode the train. It was a gorgeous day, and we were all together.

Milwaukee's Controversial Cosleeping Ad Campaign Is Ridiculous

Wow. I saw this when I flipped to The Today Show for 2 seconds yesterday. I was immediately pissed. Let me get this straight. I can walk into any clinic today and get an abortion with no problem at all, yet I am made to feel like the world's worst parent for sleeping and snuggling and attending to my baby's needs all night long, also getting more sleep for myself in the process, which makes me a better parent during the day?

I'm not advocating for cosleeping for EVERYONE. Some kids are kickers so the parents need their own space. Some parents need their kid to sleep in a crib for the sake of the marriage. Some parents just completely disagree with cosleeping. That's all fine.

 (*duh disclaimer: of course I don't want you sleeping with your kid if you're drinking or drugging or doing anything totally MORONIC like that!)

It's your CHOICE, just like abortion, right? Just like your choice to beat your kid or leave your tiny baby for a week at a time for a nice vacation. I'm just saying there are so many worse things people do to their kids than cosleeping! Cosleeping has been done around the world since the beginning of time. Americans are the ones who are checked out and detached and pushing down their instincts and emotions with alcohol, drugs (prescription and otherwise), cigarettes, food, and more!

I am biased. I have slept with all FIVE of my children at one time or another since June 2001 when my first son was born. I had the $500 crib and it never got used. Now my sons sleep without me, as does my oldest daughter. Some nights my 3-year-old even snuggled up with her sister instead of with me. Sam sleeps comfortably with Aron and I every night.

We had lots of different reasons for living life this way, and it has always worked out for us. It's a good decision FOR US. Don't shame us for making a parenting decision that is our right to make and likening it to letting our baby have a butcher knife!

I won't go into detail about my other kids, but Sam was in the NICU after birth for a week. You bet your ass I wasn't putting him in a crib without me. I missed him for that week and needed to bond with him. I needed to be with him trying to nurse because I had an infection and didn't have any milk yet. He had some breathing issues and it turned out to be perfect that he was next to me every night ... I was able to help him immediately when he needed help.

By the way, SIDS, anyone? I mean, let's get the stats on SIDS deaths (in a crib) versus cosleeping deaths. I'm betting most cosleeping deaths were also a simple case of SIDS, but because the parents were cosleeping, they are stupid murderers? Ridiculous. Let me go fetch those stats now ...

What Are Your Thanksgiving 2011 Plans?

So what are you doing for Thanksgiving this year?

We've always done this complicated every-third-year thing since my parents divorced and I got married at roughly the same time (ironic, no?). One year with my dad's family, one year with mom's family and one year on our own, which means we try to have Aron's family over.

Lately the "plan" has been getting blown up for different reasons, so this year we're on our own and decided that instead of cleaning the house like we're on crack and then cooking ALL DAY LONG (well, mostly Aron cooks all day long because he makes such cool stuff), we are going to ....

... hang with my mom's family. It's a long drive, but it's SO WORTH IT! All I have to do is make a buttload of mashed potatoes, throw 'em in the car, toss in a few kids and we're off. I might even wear sweats all day. Well, the homeschooling mommybot version of sweats, which is more like a light exercise pant that doesn't have elastic around the ankles. Oh, and Grandma has woods behind her house where we go on little "hikes" to a "stream" ... it's awesome! Instead of fretting all day, I might get to do some scrapbooking while chatting with my family :)

Saying No: Answering the Phone and the Door

I'm often hard to get by phone. That doesn't mean I'm not home.

It means maybe I'm changing a diaper or handling a tantrum or have my hand up a chicken (OMG, who saw Adrienne Maloof on the Housewives wash a chicken with actual HAND SOAP?!) or am outside or in a foul mood and have no business talking to ANYONE.

Same for answering the door. I felt so badly about this, but I saw the candy salesman teenager guy get out of the minivan in front of my house to start selling on my block. It was days after Halloween, I didn't need a $5 candy bar, and I was tapped financially from Girl Scout cookies and Scout popcorn and raffle tickets (I want that Kindle!!!).

I saw him coming. My shades were open and my baby stood in the window. When the doorbell rang, the kids were not quiet. They were loud and I told them to please not answer the door. I told them just because someone comes to your house, you don't have to answer the door (unless they were invited; I'm not THAT mean!).

How do you handle those interruptions during the day?

Saying No: Career Conflict

Nobody is forcing me to write but me.

I do have one weekly assignment, which is great. But when I push myself to write every idea I ever had, I am putting more pressure on myself that doesn't need to be there. The money is nice to have and sometimes necessary, but I could just as easily scale back on some things (like Taco Bueno and Starbuck's!) and instead spend writing time just sitting around watching my kids grow. Isn't that what I'm home for?

I'm challenging myself to do my writing research in the mornings before the kids wake up (or when I can't sleep in the night). Then I will write the bones of my pieces while Sam naps on me and the kids watch their educational shows or play together. I will set reasonable goals. My family must come first because homeschooling is my first job, and I don't get a redo on that one.

Saying No: Too Many Meetings

I am wondering why both my husband and I have to be at a Cub Scout committee meeting. Oh, because I'm a control freak, that's why, and I'm being serious here. Because I want the best for our pack and I nobody else is competent enough to keep it going. That's just crazy. I'll attend when he can't (it's at my house, after all), but I'm thinking I'll skip the next one and instead take my kids to an indoor play area instead of spending an hour shushing them.

Saying No: Playdates When I'm Not Up to It

We all gripe about being busy. It's better than being bored, of course. But if we are so dang busy, why can't we say NO sometimes?

I give myself permission to sometimes say NO to a playdate if I am not feeling "up to it." "Up to it" means if I am not totally ready to be a pleasant and loving hostess. No, the kids aren't coming to play with ME, but sometimes I feel like I have to say yes because my son says he's bored or whatever. Then I feel pressured, which puts me in a foul mood, but I am the one who let it happen! I want to be in a June Cleaver frame of mind when my kids' friends come over. Just kidding, but you know what I mean!

Teaching Kids Responsiblity: Joel Makes Dinner

 joel and jordan

our dining room, where we have dinner AND homeschool sometimes

Lately Sam has been running All. Day. Long. Since I hold him when he naps, I have to be creative when I plan for dinner. Sometimes it’s something I can make in the morning or at lunchtime and get out of the way. But sometimes it’s something that has to be made later.

So the other night Sam decided to crash around 5 p.m. I had laid out all the dinner stuff on the counter and had even put some brats on a cookie sheet with BBQ sauce on them in the oven. No, I didn’t put the kids in the oven; this isn’t Hansel and Gretel (they were bratwursts, as I’m sure you can figure out). As it got closer to time for Aron to get home I decided instead of throwing Sam over my shoulder to make dinner I would give Joel a little challenge.

I wrote up instructions for the 3 parts of dinner and let him go to town. He had to turn on the oven and set it to a certain temperature. He had to boil some water and cook frozen peas. He had to boil water and margarine and make stuffing. There was measuring involved and checking things.

He did so great! Everything was awesome, and he was proud of himself for doing it. The other kids asked who made dinner since Mommy was on the couch holding the baby, and Joel was able to say that HE DID IT!

Sometimes it’s hard for us parents to give up control over things like cooking or cleaning, but our kids WANT to help out. Besides, how else will they learn how to be on their own if we do everything for them? I’m hoping to raise my kids like my husband was raised … the guy could take care of himself quite well when I met him. In fact, he can cook better than I can and can even sew some.

Now. I gotta go because Eva has decided to wake up at 6:15 for some reason.

Happy Birthday to My Sweet Husband Aron!

Today my husband turns 45!!! He will be cruising around in the red convertible Camaro I rented for him last weekend. Actually, he'll be driving to work in it and parking it. Then he has a meeting to go to and will be parking it. Then he'll run home to say hi to us and will park the Camaro. Then back to work he goes. Don't feel sorry for him, though ... he got to cruise around all weekend in it.

Tonight I'll make him manicotti for dinner with a salad and some bread. The kids will help me make him a strawberry cake with strawberry frosting and real strawberries on it, served with vanilla bean ice cream. Jordan's coming over to hang with the kids so we can run out in the Camaro for some coffee for an hour.

I wish him a happy birthday! This is the 16th birthday I've celebrated with him. He is kind and amazing and great with the kids and puts up with me and that says a lot! I also love that he is not materialistic and that if he got $30,000 handed to him tomorrow he would not buy his own SS Camaro, but he would put that money away for the kids for braces and college and weddings. I love you, babe!

Sam Makes a New Fashion Statement: Preppy Peace

Okay, if this picture looks familiar to you, it's because I just posted it yesterday as part of Aron's Take Your Kids to Work Day ... haha! Now I'm posting it so you might notice the finer nuances of Sam's wardrobe. When the kids wear fatigues and tie-dye, we call that look War and Peace. When Sam wore tie-dye and preppy plaid shorts (bought by Jordan!), we call that Preppy Peace. I am the master of fashion, let me just tell you. Yes me, who would wear black shirts with jeans or shorts every single day. I keep saying I don't dress great because I need to lose weight and get the money to be able to afford vintage Chanel, but who am I kidding ... that's too much work! Thankfully, Callie has some fashion sense. Hopefully I can share some of those pics on here soon!

Oklahoma Earthquake Felt in Kansas City ... Freaky!

Around 11 p.m. last night I felt someone shaking my bed. I figured Eva was just shaking her leg or something, but it was too fast and shaking the bed too much. It felt like a dog was laying at the end of the bed scratching, only we don’t have a dog. Had our friend the possum gotten inside and under our bed and was shaking the bed?

Then Jordan, who was staying the night and sleeping in Joel’s bed, came in mildly flipping out and asking if we’d felt that. She said she thought someone was shaking her bed.

Then the other kids came in flipping out. Callie had been in her own bed and the boys were on the floor for a slumber party. Aron didn’t feel it much because he was sitting on his buns reading.

I didn’t know what was going on. Why was the water in the fish bowl moving? Was in a dinosaur stomping in our neighborhood? The apocalypse? When cars drive by with their bass boomin’, our house shakes, but not really the beds. Besides, that’s a slower rhythm usually.

Aron brought reason and said it was an earthquake. I remembered how Kansas is somehow near a fault line. This is going to be a great homeschool lesson for next week, showing the kids fault lines and talking about tectonic plates. Turns out the earthquake was in Oklahoma and it was felt all the way up to Wisconsin. Freaky!

How do they stand it in California? I don't think our structures in the Midwest are built to withstand earthquakes, just tornados (haha).

Downy Unstopables ... I Think My Nose Fell Off

Okay, my first problem with this product is that I think it needs two P's to be spelled correctly. But after using my free sample, I think it needs like 27 P's because the scent is too freaking strong to be something a human came up with.

My sample said to use the ENTIRE PACKET in one load of laundry. I knew my nose would probably fall off my face if I did that, so I just put in like 1/4 of the packet in a FULL load of laundry. After washing and drying my load, the scent was pretty strong on all my clothes. It hurt my poor wittle sinuses, like my new Glade Plug-In system I paid a buttload of money for.

Maybe I have a sensitive nose, but I can always tell when I'm around someone who has used the ENTIRE packet of their Unstopables. Actually, I can smell them from a mile away.

I don't get why we have to overpower things to make them smell "good." How about drying your clothes on the line outside for a FRESH scent? Okay, not always possible in the winter. But then you can dry them on the line in  your basement for that nice, musty scent.

I'm just sayin': if you have a strong nose, use this product in full strength. But be aware that you are killing the brain cells of everyone around you. It's on your conscience.

Hanging on the Freezer Door is Not a Sport

I'm over here at The Parent du Jour today answering questions about parenting. I guess I once tweeted that hanging on the freezer door is not a sport. Here are some other things that are NOT sports but that could easily be:

1. Jumping on the bed.
2. Jumping from couch cushion to couch cushion.
3. Trapping siblings in bedrooms.
4. Extreme ziplining.
5. Throwing sand in a sibling's eyes.
6. Extreme scooter-riding.
7. Ignoring your neighbor.
8. Trick or treating.
9. Christmas shopping.
10. Add your own here.

I think my blog post title is a great title for my first parenting book.

Support a Friend With a Baby in the NICU

DANGIT! A friend at church just became a grandma again. The thing is her new twin grandbabies weigh like 4 pounds combined. That's 2 months in the NICU for them. I hate that. They'll be fine ... they're breathing on their own and all that ... miraculous! ... but I still hate the NICU thing for lots of reasons. It just takes me back to a sad time. Anyway, I write for a lot of reasons, but one of the biggies is that I write articles to try to help other people. If you get a chance, check out my piece 12 Ways to Support a Friend with a Baby in the NICU over at North Texas Kids. I don't get paid per page view or anything like that; I just want to get the word out about how stressful the situation is because I didn't realize it until it happened to me. I encourage my friend to get a Care Calendar going for her daughter-in-law to start getting meals and help ASAP! We're praying for you, babies, and all NICU babies everywhere.

How to Pick a Pumpkin ... Or Birth One (and Monday Night Football)

My dad showed me this. Happy Halloween, everybody! I don't care if it's SNOWING ... we're trick or treating no matter what! What are YOUR plans? I heard there's some big Monday Night Football Game on ... will you stay home and watch it or go out with your kids? Dilemmas!

Egg Babies

Man, we're so poor my kids have to play with EGGS for fun. They draw faces on them and take care of them. They are egg babies. And sometimes they get dropped. Oopsie!

Choosing a Song for Your Wedding

I want a wedding re-do.

Well, not the wedding part, but the reception.

It was too crazy to enjoy, and I certainly didn't enjoy my new husband very much because I was too busy socializing with all the people who brought presents. When I go to a reception these days I encourage the bride to just say hi to my family and move the heck on to enjoying herself. I'm just there to party anyway. I want her to really be in the moment and have fun with her man and her family and her wedding party.

Things were so crazy leading up to our wedding that when it came time to choose OUR dance song, we were stumped and just chose whatever came to our mind, which was the Phil Collins version of Groovy Kind of Love.

I'm thinking we should renew our vows when we hit 15 years just for fun (but that's in two years, so it will have to be a cheap affair!). Aron McLoughlin, our new first dance song I will choose (and pretend that it is 1998 again and we aren't sleeping together) is the song by the Beach Boys that is Wouldn't It Be Nice? Here are the lyrics, which are perfect for what we were going through then, and they make me tear up because things have been just so great since then (with ups and downs of course; I'm not going to sit here and lie to you, for gosh sake!):

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby

Do You Celebrate Halloween?

Who doesn't love a baby in a good Halloween jammie? By the way, do you celebrate Halloween? We absolutely do, but we try not to do it in a scary way.  I wrote an article called Halloween Hecklers for New Jersey Family and caught some crap from an atheist and a Catholic about my flippant Halloween attitude. Read it and see what YOU think. I welcome your comments back here at The Kerrie Show.

Bacteria at McDonald's? Say It Ain't So!

A friend of mine from Loo-zee-anna who I have known since the ripe age of 14 sent me this link and I love love LOVE it! It's about a mom who is also a college instructor who has been banned from a bunch of Mickey D's in Arizona because she is telling the truth about how NASTY those places are! Banned! I smell a conspiracy theory along the lines of JFK's assassination!

Here's the deal: If you Google "McDonald's Playland Sock Policy", my recent blog entry on the topic comes up first in the search ratings. You gotta check this post out before you comment, please! Anyway, I was so mad that we were harrassed for not wearing socks at Mickey D's on a June day because the place is so disgusting anyway, what is the point? I mean, are my kids' feet going to make the place worse? Do I love to do dishes? No freaking way!

I caught so much crap over that post from friends, family members and total strangers alike. As if all there is to being a GOOD MOM is making sure your kids wear socks at McDonald's. Don't get me started, people. I'll whoop butt in a Good Mom Contest any day of the week, and you know it.

ANYWAY ... I can see if my kids had open sores on their feet that I didn't want to get infected with disease, that would be one reason to wear socks ANYWHERE. But I love the comment in the link about how McD's has to just APPEAR clean and not really BE clean. So do they clean it with bleach or not? Could it be worse than a daycare or a school? And won't we track bacteria home on our socks and shoes and crap anyway? Does it really matter that much if we wear socks?

Ask the backwoods population. You know, the hillbillies, the trailer trash. Ask ME! I kid you not, my kids are the healthiest I know and we live like total farm folk in the 'burbs.

FYI, McD's: everybody knows how gross your place is! You don't need to ban this chick for telling it like it is. Be on the lookout for a blog post from me saying that I am also banned from Kansas City McD's for being a general pain in the ass!

How Much Does the Tooth Fairy Pay at Your House?

In my house the Tooth Fairy brings a solid buck for each tooth lost. Do you think the Tooth Fairy ventures anywhere near the Duggar house? I think she (or he, I guess) would go into debt. What does the Tooth Fairy bring to your kids?

We Like to Pick Up Glass and Trash and We Like Firetrucks

Don't freak out, but yes, we are all wearing shoes in this picture. It's because we are by a stream picking up glass and trash. I kid you not, we probably picked up 8 pounds of glass. I always have plastic trash bags with me so we like to leave areas better than how we found them. It's the Scouts in us, I suppose. I woulda been a good Boy Scout (no, not Girl Scout).

This same day we got to see a fire truck launch out of the firehouse and Sam was THRILLED! This is Sam and Da checking out the firetruck. Most boys are obsessed with firetrucks, I know, but Sam is SUPER obsessed with ambulances and firetrucks. I say it's because he was almost born in an ambulance and because both firetruck and ambulance came to our house when I was in uber labor with him. Kids remember stuff, I tell ya.

Should a Teen Have a Brand New Car?

I love when people try new things. One of my best friends and godmom to my daughter Eva is trying her hand at writing. I have to say she ain't half bad. She's starting out online, but you know I'm trying to drag her into the regional parenting markets with me! Anyway, check her piece out about her first car when she was a teen ... it was a beater and it was far from NEW.

Do you think teens should EVER have a new car? Does a bear poop in a catbox? Leave her a comment on her essay ... she'd love to hear from you. This might start a debate because I know a few people who got a new car upon graduating high school. Mind you, these were responsible kids and I don't recall them wrecking said car, so I suppose there are cases where a new car might be alright to reward a great only child! Otherwise, you set a precedent of getting a new car for all your kids just because they graduate, and all your kids might not take such great care of a new car!

Do They Still Sell Syrup of Ipecac?

We spent the weekend SICK! I started feeling gross Friday night and picked up a couple of fun movies for the kids at RedBox. I love how you can put them on hold after scouting out which location has what you want. The kids watched The Zookeeper and then I watched Barbie Princess Charm School with them. I'm sorry, but I love the Barbie movies. Not all of them, but Charm School and Fashion Fairytale.

I spent all Friday night puking but Aron had ... other problems. He could not puke. I looked for syrup of ipecac at the store but couldn't find any. We used to have some, back when it was recommended you have some if you had a kid and said kid swallowed poison. Then I heard they de-recommended it. Hubs needed some.

Do you ever pray to God to give your kids' sickness to you? I did that. Callie still got sick a few times, and Eva once. Everyone else was fine. Aron and I were a mess. I HATE being sick ... it changes fun plans and the house quickly turns into a pigsty!

Wondering what made us sick? Best we can figure is a dinner I made, except Joel and Michael didn't get sick at all and they ate plenty of it. It was boxed cheesy potatoes with some frozen chicken I had crock-potted a few weeks earlier. I had split the chicken in half, and we ate the first part without incident. Then I immediately froze the rest. Not sure how we got sick off of that, but I'm cool with blaming it on my cooking. My grandma once got her whole family sick on a Boston creme pie, so I am in good company!

Strategically Placed Scrambled Eggs