FUNNY Family Math Word Problems #4

Here are parts ONE, TWO and THREE. Enjoy!

1. I have 5 children. The first 3 are 22 months apart. Then there is a gap of 34 months, then the next 2 are 22 months apart. What is the probability that I've only had sex 5 times in my life?
   
2. The kids made $35 at our recent garage sale during two days of hard work. The adults made about $25. Three strangers asked personal questions like when am I going to stop breastfeeding. Why do I keep having garage sales?
   
3. I spent $123 at Aldi, $132 at Price Chopper and $21 at HyVee on grocery shopping for two weeks of eatin'. How much faster did I get my shopping done without children?
   
4. A stroller travels at a speed of 2 mph when it is empty. How fast does it travel when it is holding my 6th child (laptop Toshiba) and my backpack with my cell phone in it? With how much force did it hit the park lake last week? Why the hell did I not have the brake on the stroller? (don't worry; no kids were in the stroller!)

Hope you enjoyed this installment of Funny Math Problems. Have fun figuring out the answers and here is part FIVE!!

originally posted October 11, 2012

Funny Family Math Word Problems #3

I used to hate math when I was a kid. Now I love it. It can be so easy. Check it out!

1. It is 7:30 a.m. and I went to bed at midnight then could not sleep for whatever reason from 2-3:23 a.m. I have a 12-ounce mocha coffee and a 42-ounce bottle of water. About what time will I feel like throwing my computer mouse across the room?

2. There is a tree in our easement that is 35 feet tall. There has been a drought and the tree has a stress fracture. How many times will I have to call our electric company to get them to come take a look at the branch that is resting on our power line?

3. My husband and kids left the house at 7:10 p.m. and were gone for 2 hours. How many times did I run around the first-floor circle of our house naked? BONUS: how many calories did I burn doing so?

4. Kerrie spent 5 hours scraping wallpaper in the kitchen. She spent 2 hours washing and sanding one wall in said kitchen. How long will it be before she stops procrastinating putting on the spackle? When she DOES spackle the joint, how badly will she mess it up, and how long will it take her husband to fix it?

Be sure to check out Funny Math Word Problems #1 and Funny Math Word Problems #2!

Here's part four!

originally posted August 11, 2012

FUNNY Family Math Word Problems #2

Did you know that statistics show that 13 out of 6 people can't do math at all? Isn't that crazy, when math is so simple! Here are some problems for you.

1. Kerrie has 2 assignments that are due soon. Each assignment calls for 350 words. Is "panoramic views all around you" a redundant phrase?

2. Kerrie makes 1 gallon of chili for her husband's work chili cook-off. Her adorable husband makes 1.25 gallons for the cook-off.  Why did Kerrie let her husband sleep in their bed that night?

3. If Kerrie's husband works 15-hour days for 2 weeks straight, when will he get a freaking raise?

4. If the McLoughlin household runs the dishwasher twice a day and the washing machine once a day for one month straight, how many hours will Kerrie have to write to make money for a maid service? How old will the kids be when they will clean the house while Kerrie eats her bon bons in the tub?

Check out Part One of this fun quiz here.

And you can check out Part Three here, which leads to the others!

originally posted February 15, 2012

A Labor Of Love: Looking After Your Family During Childbirth

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Going into labor is a stressful experience at the best of times. It involves extensive plans, whether it’s your first or fifth or pregnancy. The trouble is that the more children you have at home, the harder labor can be to manage.

For obvious reasons, taking your children to the hospital while you give birth is NEVER a good idea. As well as being traumatic for them, labor can be a long process. The last thing you want to be worrying about is your kids out in the waiting room. Not to mention that the midwives on your maternity warn won’t be best pleased if you turn birth into a family outing.

The question is, then, how exactly can you manage your family when labor finally comes? Too often, second or third-time parents fail to consider this. As well as adding stress, that fact can make your existing children feel forgotten even before the new baby arrives. Make sure it doesn’t happen by taking the following precautions for your family both before and after birth.

Put childcare plans in place ahead of time

When your contractions start, you’ll have a lot to think about. Calling around friends to ask who can care for your existing children is the last thing you’ll want to do. Not to mention that many women go into labor at night time. That means you may struggle to find anyone available at the last minute. But, that needn’t be a problem if you just put childcare plans in place ahead of time. This can, of course, be tricky considering that birth is unpredictable. It isn’t as though you can arrange childcare on your due date and be done with it. It’s more likely that you’ll need it at three in the morning a week sooner than you predict.

Your best bet for pre-arranging childcare, then, would be to turn to family members. Given their investment in your new baby, they’re more likely to take your entire due date week off work. Failing that, neighbors who you’re friendly with are a good bet as they’re close by. It may even be worth arranging at least two or three childcare possibilities. That way, you can rest easy that your children will have somewhere to go no matter when your contractions start.

Get your kids sorted as soon as your contractions start

It’s no secret to mothers that there’s rarely a need to rush to hospital the moment contractions start. If you try that, there’s a good chance the midwives will send you home to wait until you’re further along. This is why it’s vital that you learn how to time contractions beforehand, as well as learning the 5-1-1 rule. But, despite this extended labor process, it's vital to get your kids sorted as soon as you experience your first contraction.

Even if you don't need to rush to hospital straight away, getting your kids out of the house is vital. For one, your ability to consider childcare will decrease as your pain levels rise. Plus, it can be traumatic for children to see their mom in pain. If your kids are around for your contractions, they'll become unnecessarily worried about what's happening. Don't stress them out like that. Instead, be sure that they're in a safe and caring space straight away. You may not need to head to hospital straight off but sooner is better where labor and existing children are concerned.

Make sure your partner keeps in contact

As much as waiting to head to the hospital can take a while, so too can labor itself. In rare cases, women are in labor for a whole two days before actually giving birth. Even average labor rates come in at around eight hours. And, after childbirth both parents tend to hang around for days in the hospital. Undeniably, skin-to-skin contact with mom and dad is invaluable during these first days. But, it's also crucial you spare a thought for your existing children during this time. Suddenly being out of contact with their parents for extended periods will be distressing. In extreme cases, this absence can even damage future sibling relationships.

Make sure that doesn't happen by putting plans in place for your partner to keep contact throughout childbirth. This could mean them popping out to phone your kids every few hours, or even heading home if your labor is slow. It's also vital that your partner leaves to see the children for at least a few hours in the days following the birth. This can help ease your children's worries, as well as keeping them informed.

Think twice before bringing them to the hospital

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It’s natural to want to introduce your newborn baby to their brothers and sisters. As much as it's vital for you and your partner to bond with the baby, it's also essential for your children to bond. That said, you may want to think twice before bringing children to the hospital. If you bring your children to meet the new baby in the aftermath of birth, you may cause inadvertent distress. You won't be in your best health, after all, and the baby may not even be cleaned up yet. Instead, you might find it best to save your children from the hospital environment and introduce them to the baby at home. That way they'll feel safe, and you'll look better.

If your hospital stay is extended for any reason, you will want to get your kids in. Even then, it's worth waiting until you feel strong enough to put on a brave face. It's also worth keeping visits short. That way, your children are more liable to enjoy the experience.

It isn't easy considering the family you have when you're about to extend it. Still, going about this in the right way could make all the difference to sibling relationships later. Not to mention that putting proper plans in place can ensure your children never see the more stressful aspects of your birth.

4 Regular Habits That Are Damaging Your Health

Some habits are good - like brushing your teeth every night, going to bed at the same time each evening, etc. But some habits are bad. We’re all guilty of having a few bad habits that plague our lives regularly. The problem is, we don’t even think anything of them as they’re just a part of our life. So, we continue with these bad habits until we see the negative consequences.

Unfortunately, loads of us are doing things that will end up damaging our health. For all you know, your health could already be damaged! As such, you must quit these bad habits right away. Here’s a list of things a lot of us do that will cause harm to our health:

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Brushing your teeth after eating

It’s a good idea to get into the habit of brushing your teeth when you wake up, and before you go to sleep. However, one bad habit many people are guilty of is brushing their teeth after eating. We’ve all done this before; you have something sweet, then brush your teeth almost straight after to make you feel less guilty.

Believe it or not, but you’re not cleaning your teeth at all. If you brush your teeth straight away, then you basically just rub the sugar into your teeth, making it more likely you’ll have oral health problems. When you develop issues with your oral health, it translates into general health problems too. Gum disease can cause heart problems, and tooth decay can cause bacteria to enter your bloodstream.

So, the golden rule is to wait an hour after you eat something. When the hour is up, then you can brush your teeth.

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Listening to music too loudly

Most smartphones give you a warning when you’re turning the volume up too high on your device. How many of you actually heed this warning? I know I don’t! As a result, you end up listening to music at dangerously high volumes for extended periods.

How does this harm your health? Well, it causes damage to your ears. This can eventually lead to hearing loss, which impacts your life dramatically. But, on a lower level, it can cause a problem called tinnitus, which is a ringing in your ears. Some of you might have this already; do you regularly hear a ringing or whistling sound that no one else can hear? If so, then you have tinnitus.

This issue can impact your mental wellbeing as it makes you feel like you’re going crazy. It can also cause stress as the ringing plays on your mind and keeps you up at night. Thankfully, you can get comfort from tinnitus treatment. Not only will hearing aids help you have the freedom to enjoy a better life by treating hearing loss, but they can also treat tinnitus. There are also therapies to get rid of tinnitus or at least mask the effects. Obviously, the best thing to do to avoid hearing loss and tinnitus is to quit this bad habit. Listen to your smartphone - it’s smart for a reason! Turn down the volume and give your ears a break.

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Staring at screens for hours on end

You’re staring at a screen right now, and I bet you’ve spent most of your day staring at one! It’s somewhat unavoidable, but staring at screens for hours on end can lead to health complications.

For starters, it will damage your eyesight, which can mean you need glasses. But, it can also cause persistent headaches or migraines. As if this wasn’t bad enough, the light emitted by these screens stops you from falling asleep. So, if you’ve been having sleep problems, it’s probably because you’re on your phone before you go to bed!

Like I said, it’s hard to avoid looking at screens - particularly if you have a desk job. However, you should make an effort to cut down on daily screen time, or at least reduce the brightness, so it’s not as damaging. Some phones and devices have ‘night modes’ that alter the screen and make it easier on your eyes. Every little helps; cut down on the number of screen hours you have every day.

Image via Max Pixel

Overeating sugar

Don’t try and deny this habit because I know you all eat too much sugar. How do I know this? Because everyone eats far more sugar than they’re supposed to. Why do you think some countries are imposing sugar taxes? People are consuming far too much, so they need to do something to restrict the amount of sugar in common foods.

That’s the main issue; your typical diet includes foods packed full of sugar. We might eat a few treats every day, but loads of other things are also high in sugar - like fitness bars, soft drinks, fruit juice, flavored yogurts, etc.

Consuming too much sugar will result in various health problems. As well as the obvious oral health issues, sugar can cause things like diabetes. This is a serious condition that impacts your life and changes the way you eat and drink. Eating too much sugar is said to increase your chances of obesity, which opens up a whole new can of health problem worms! It is also proven to boost your chances of getting heart disease. So, in short, cut down on the amount of sugar you consume every day. It’ll be hard, but I have two simple tips. Firstly, only drink water. This prevents you from drinking sugary drinks. Secondly, limit yourself to one or two treats per day. This cuts down on the sweets and chocolates you consume!

Obviously, some terrible habits haven’t made this list. Smoking and drinking alcohol are the two worst habits for your health. But, I’m hoping you already know this! Instead, I want to open your eyes to some bad habits that most people are guilty of. You might not have known that they’re damaging your health, but now you do! Cut down on these bad habits if you want to live a life that’s free from many health problems.