Beecology.com Buzzes

I'm tired of saying something "rocks" or "kicks butt" and so now will coin a new cool phrase to mean something is awesome: BUZZ. You buzz, man. In the play last night, she buzzed ... hard. (and don't think I don't know what some of you are thinking right now. and stop it. because this is a family company so pull your head out of the gutter and be the klassy TKS readers I know you can be right now).

I think Beecology BUZZES.

They sent me some buzzin' products in the mail to try and I want to tell you about the little Ker Package they sent me. Let's go on a tour:

1. Buzz Balm. It's peppermint, it's all natural (my friend Andrea would call that "legit"), made with beeswax and all sorts of other cool ingredients. Some lip balms bug my lips, but this one just feels good and tingles a little with that peppermint. They sent me a few, and I shared them, and everyone agrees with me that they totally BUZZ.
2. Original Honey Hand and Body Cream "with propolis extract and other really good stuff" according to Beecology! This stuff stays on throughout the day, is just thick enough and just feels good. And there's honey in it, so watch out for bears.
3. Three different soaps. I'm turning into a fancy soap girl lately. This stuff feels like silk when you wash your hands or your bod. I have a bar in our master shower and a bar in the tub where the littles take a bath. Last night I was soaping them up and it felt like no soap I've ever felt, like there's lotion in it. And it smells good! And my skin doesn't need tons of lotion on it after I use it.

What are you waiting for? They offer free ground shipping on orders over $40 and a great coupon pops up when you visit the site!

PTSD After the NICU

Here's something I posted recently at mothering.com after reading a post about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after having a baby in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). I've put some links to my own blog posts from our experience below in my reply:


"I had no idea this could even happen. I'm doing research for a follow up to my article about 12 ways to support a friend with a nicu baby. A parent wanted an article about AFTER, coming home, dealing with family and friends and all that. I came across these posts about PTSD and am crying! My Sam was in the NICU only 7 days in October 2009 after having meconium aspiration and a super fast birth. It was hard to balance the needs of our other 4 kids and I always felt guilty not being at the hospital when he could have easily died at any time. I still get panicky when I think about it and savor this kid like you would not believe. It's also made me afraid to have another child because I had endometriitis (maybe, or maybe not ... my doctor seemed not too sure but antibiotics fixed it), and can't imagine doing the NICU stint again. If I feel this way after only a week dealing with it, how must those who have a baby (or more than one) in the NICU for months feel? My heart goes out to them. We need to be a little gentler with NICU parents, both while they are in the hospital and when they come home."


Here's a great piece my husband pointed me to recently, as well. And a piece in The New York Times.


I remember those days as being very difficult. I only slept because I was sick, and when I was awake I was worried. I pasted on a smile and kept my sense of humor, but remembering that time makes my chest feel tight.


Lately I've tried to take a funny slant on life on this blog, but sometimes I run across something that's informative and pretty serious. NICU stays are pretty common. I just wanted parents to know they can come here and have a discussion with me and a safe place to vent. And I wanted friends and family of NICU parents/babies to be extra sensitive. If a new mom asks you to wash your hands after you're visiting her tiny preemie for the first time, please don't call her a worrywart! These parents need just as much help after the NICU as during.


I want to take this opportunity to thank my family and friends and neighbors who were there for us when Sam was born. It means everything to us, and there's a special place for you in our hearts. We were drowning in homemade chicken noodle soup and help and love, and it was fabulous!

Taking Kids to Church ... Yes or No?

Today is Sunday. Aron is out of town. I am in charge of six people aged 10 and under. Do you think I will be attending Mass? No. Here's why:

1. Sam and Eva can't make it through an entire Mass anyway, so I end up in the vestibule (that's entryway to you non-fish-eaters; Catholics have cool words for normal things and that's why I signed up) or down in the nursery.

That's about it. I don't wanna leave the other 4 kids alone in church ... you know they will act like fools without my adult guiding presence!

I checked out a friend's blog yesterday and she wrote that her 3-year-old didn't make it through the 3-hour Easter Vigil very well last weekend. I'm like (1) it's at night, the Witching Time and (2) THREE HOURS???????? This is a very brave woman. She would have to be to be pals with me, no?

Every Christmas somebody will ask us if we go to Midnight Mass with our kids. I have to be careful how I answer because my mother-in-law took 5 kids EVERY YEAR (including twins, people). Sit on that one for a moment. Five kids. Every year. Midnight. Church.

So I come up with some diplomatic answer that is not usually, "Are you freaking crazy? Midnight? Five kids? Church? They'd be sleeping all over the floor of the joint, and I might have to join them."

Might not see all my church peeps the next TWO weekends, actually, due to Fishing Trip Mania. Why take the only two kids who don't sit through Mass TO Mass? I know God loves that you just show up. I also know God loves a sane and loving mother to take care of the kids that have been entrusted to her care.

Catholic pals, slam me in the comments about what a heathen I am. I can take it.

Hardly Anybody Came to My Kid's Birthday Party

The Universe kicked my butt today a little bit in the form of Michael's no-kids-came birthday party. I'm tough and can handle stuff like that, but I felt badly for Michael. Here's the thing:

I appreciate the dad who came by with a gift and said his kid had stayed up too late, got up too early and was just a whipped mess. That was cool of him to come by and give a gift and explain. That is a stand-up person.

I appreciate the person who has a long drive and called to say she was having a hard time getting all her kids together.

I appreciate my mom, who called early in the day to say she didn't feel well. We have a pollen issue right now in Kansas that is messing with people.

I appreciate my dad and stepmom, who came. And my mother-in-law, who came. And my cousin Zee, who came. And our daughtersitter, Jordan, who came.

I appreciate my friend who came later.

I appreciate our ex-neighbor, who came later. And my friend who has kids in soccer and is always a maybe. And our other friends who were a maybe.

Otherwise, there were no little kids who came to Michael's actual birthday party. Michael isn't exactly a social kid, but he gets stuff.

I don't appreciate people who decide at the last minute that they just don't want to bring their kid and don't want to call to let anyone know. They are setting a rude example for their children, I think. Being late is one thing. Not showing and not calling after you've said you were coming is another.

I don't appreciate people who have their heads so far up their own butts that they don't care about a simple thing their kid might want to do. They don't write it down anywhere. They totally blow it off so they can sit around and watch TV or go shopping or go out to lunch.

I love my peeps and the peeps of my kids, but be warned: when Joel's birthday party rolls around, I'll be making reminder calls the day before and the morning of, just to be annoying. I was always OCD about this sort of rude behavior; it's worse since I've had kids :-)

*This doesn't include any of my neighbors, by the way, if they are thinking I'm talking about them! I know they told me they had other plans!!!

Normal Moms ...

... don't let their baby sleep on them for naps. Think of all the things I could be getting done around the house rather than hanging out writing and homeschooling and sometimes even watching TV. Today my friend was like, "So Sam slept for 3 hours, how come you didn't make the birthday cakes then? Why are you behind all the time?" And I was like, "He sleeps ON me ... I'm his gatekeeper to sleep. I've done it with all my kids for going on 11 years. I dig it. There's plenty of time to get my stuff done later. And for someone who 'loses' hours a day with her baby sleeping on her, my house looks better and better (= keeping my man happy) and I still get the homeschooling goin' on and still get my writing worked on a little here and there."

... drink a margarita or a beer at the end of a trying day as a travel widow. They don't get uber-excited about the new International Foods iced mocha coffee they just got at the grocery store. Think of the money saved schlepping to Dunkin' Donuts ... gas money, $2.29 per iced coffee, time.

... don't get all depressed when they can't find the Crystal Lite peach bellini and pomtini they saw on a taped episode of Celebrity Apprentice.

... don't go grocery shopping at 10 p.m. on a Friday night (I saw a dad there, too, and a mom with a baby, so I suppose I'm not totally insane) with kids who are all hyped up and acting crazy.

... don't say out loud at the grocery store, "Well, nobody is going to be havin' boom-boom tonight after watching you guys run like banshee heathens all over the store. Sometimes crazy kids are like birth control for other people."

... don't use the show Worst Cooks in America as part of their homeschool curriculum (Joel likes cooking and I'm not great at it, so let's give him some TV Home Ec class!).

... don't get choked up when they think about their sweet little crazy peeps growing up and moving out. I try to stay busy and not think too much about it, and I savor every diaper change and every hug and kiss and "hi, mommy" and "good morning, mommy" and every homeschooling victory and every outing, even if I'm griping sometimes. Normal moms look forward to time to themselves in the future, but I don't usually mind having my entourage with me and know "me time" and "couple time" will come all too soon.

Gotta go ... making cupcakes for Michael's birthday party on Saturday and I have to get a national query (gotta love that word, like a gay magazine submission) out or my new mentor friend will crawl my butt!

Your Butt is Grass and I'm Gonna Mow It

The question for today is: How young is too young to have your kid mow the grass? And do you pay for it?

Joel started mowing our yard a few weeks ago. I was freaked out at first, but we gave him the safety talk, and I'm always outside to watch him while he's doing it in case there is any problem. He likes to do it before Daddy gets home to surprise him. It's AWESOME because ...

1. Aron has more free time to fix stuff, play with the kids, kiss me and maybe even relax a little bit.
2. Aron can be less stressed when activities and other stuff comes up because his yardwork has been done for him.
3. When Aron is out of town I don't have to pay someone $20 to mow our grass.
4. When Aron is out of town I don't have to try to keep the kids safe while I mow the grass myself to save money. I used to mow with my youngest in a sling but Sam is too big for that now, so I couldn't watch him in the front yard and mow at the same time these days.
5. Joel gets to make some money. He gets $5 for the front and $5 for the back. So he's making HUGE money and we are SAVING money. We are essentially SPAVING money (saving while spending).

How old is too young? I know someone who had their son mowing at age 8. I wasn't cool with it until now, and he's almost 11. I guess it depends on the kid. Joel's a little small for his age, and a neighbor walking by was looking at us funny.

And do you pay or is this just part of being in a family? I didn't think Aron would pay him, so when he offered him $10 to do both front and back, I was surprised and glad. When he starts mowing in the neighborhood we'll make him save half for his savings account.

Guest Post: Erica Voll at The Reading Kingdom

Originally posted July 5, 2011 before I had tried the product. Now I'm a few days into it with my daughter Callie and she loves it. The lessons are short enough that she doesn't get frustrated, it's colorful, and she's gaining confidence in reading. What they say below is true that phonics isn't always the answer. It worked for Michael and Joel but Callie just did not want to learn to read. Now she's on board and learning fast, and I'm going to get Eva going on it since she shows interest in learning to read also (they all do it at a different age). There is no shame in heading to a computer program for help, especially if it's the way your kids like to learn! I'm paying $15 per month for the program and can stop anytime. Cheaper than private school! So please check out this guest post from last summer about a product that is great for homeschoolers and for kids in school alike (a lot of kids who are in school like trying out our homeschool computer programs) ...

Homeschoolers: are you looking for a fun way to teach your child to read this summer?

The Reading Kingdom is an online reading program for children ages 4 to 10 that can teach your children to read in as little as 10 minutes a day. The program promotes independent learning with online reading games and modules designed to customize itself for each child.

Phonics Is Not Always the Answer
What makes the Reading Kingdom different from other reading programs is that is integrates 6 skills necessary for learning to read. They are:

Sequencing
Motor skills
Sounds (phonics)
Meaning
Grammar
Comprehension

In fact, the Reading Kingdom is the only reading program that uses all 6 points of learning, and can easily be integrated into your child’s existing reading education program.

A lot of children who use the program think it’s fun – and a lot of parents love their children look forward to time spent learning.

About the Reading Kingdom
The Reading Kingdom was created by literacy and education expert, Dr. Marion Blank, who has spent more than 40 years studying how children learn to read. Dr. Blank is recognized by her peers as one of the world's top experts in literacy, and is devoted to helping children learn to read.

The Reading Kingdom is so passionate about teaching children to read, it supports School on Wheels, an education program for homeless children in Los Angeles designed to keep them in school – and reading.

And, moms are talking about the Reading Kingdom. Many moms, bloggers and homeschooling parents have reviewed the Reading Kingdom and love it!

Experience the Reading Kingdom
If you are interested in the Reading Kingdom online reading program for your child, or would like to integrate the Reading Kingdom into your homeschooling curriculum, you can let your child learn to read with a free 30-day trial of the Reading Kingdom program.

Connect with the Reading Kingdom
Dr. Marion Blank is always answering your questions about literacy, reading and education. Just “like” the Reading Kingdom on Facebook, and leave a comment so we can help you get the answers you and your child need.

"Londyn LaRae Says Okay" Book Review

"Londyn LaRae Says Okay" by Nicholeen Peck is too cute. And too perfect for my kids right now. Here's how it starts:

"Londyn LaRae can't say okay, but does everything else just fine.
Even when Londyn turned six years old, she still refused and whined.
The morning of Londyn's birthday Mom said, "Make your bed."
But Londyn didn't want to; she chose to play instead."

This is a story about something you probably don't struggle with AT ALL: a kid who won't obey and likes to play instead. Yep, I know ... isn't that EVERY kid? The story shows Londyn disobeying to go off and have her own fun and do what she wants and then it shows consequences (like she was supposed to cover picnic food and blew it off and birds ate all their food so they did not get to eat).

After several such situations, Londyn then goes to her friend's house and watches as her friend obeys her parents' request immediately and then is free to play (after receiving adoration from her dad). If we learn from others' mistakes, we certainly also learn from what they do right, and that is exactly what Londyn does in this book.

Her friend teaches her a 5-step process for "following instructions and saying okay", which Londyn then puts into practice. Afterwards we get to see how proud her family is of her and how good it makes her feel to get her task done right away and then be free to do what she wants.

The illustrations are cute and colorful and vibrant and fitting. The story is perfectly written. There's a note at the end from the author, Nicholeen Peck, about how to put it all into practice.

You can purchase this great book on Amazon at the link at the top of this post.

My Husband: THE IMPREGNATOR

 Maybe you don't have a sick sense of humor like I do. Or maybe you DO, in which case WELCOME TO THE KERRIE SHOW ... you will be entertained.

Anyway, Aron was working on putting our shower pan back in and trying to make something stick to something else and finally got this stuff. When he showed it to me, I laughed until I cried then made him pose. This is a real product, folks.

My husband, The Impregnator, uses a product with the same name. Perfect. Who named this product, anyway? It is fitting, if you think about it, though. This stuff is like the superest SuperGlue ... if you use this your tile is stuck together forever. And if you get someone pregnant, you are stuck together forever. Hmmm.

AND ... happy birthday to Michael, who is 9 today. In case you don't know, Michael was Aron the Impregnator's second impregnation. I can feel my dad cringing from 40 miles away.

While Dad's cringing, I'm going to add this little tidbit: Ladies, you'd have 5 kids, too, if your man was this hot. Just sayin'.

A Million Bucks Don't Buy Much

You gotta love Facebook. Where else can you have debates with people in real time that all your other friends and acquaintances and colleagues and pretty much anyone else can see and comment on?

So recently I posted something about being not ashamed that I went to JuCo but that my education there wasn't really necessary for me to be a homeschooling mom or writer. I might have made the inflammatory statement that it was a waste of money. I'm not saying education is a waste ... I guess I was saying you never know with education if you'll need it or not and it costs so dang much and why do we push our kids to go to college at age 18 when they can barely wipe their butts let alone know what they want to do for the rest of their lives ... that's actually another blog post.

Someone weighed in that if their mom hadn't had a college education when their dad died, they would've been screwed. I countered with WHAT ABOUT LIFE INSURANCE?

Then someone told me I'm smoking crack if I think a million dollars in life insurance is going to take care of my kids and myself if Aron dies.

Now I'm not the best at math, folks, but I'm thinking if Aron dies, I won't have his cell phone bill, his truck payment (because I'll sell it if I have to), his truck insurance, his truck tags, his truck gas (it's a beast!), his grocery bill, his Clothes Horse bill (ha! ... he and I are not exactly fashionistas!), etc. And to replace his handyman skills around the house, I will have to call on my dad, his dad and his brothers.

Okay, so a million dollars put into a savings account I'm thinking would last til all 5 of my kids turn 18. I keep up the monthly house payment, utilities, insurance, groceries, expenses. I keep taking hand-me-down clothing, I shop cheap at garage sales and thrift stores and consignment stores. I don't need fancy crap. My mom gets us a membership to the zoo at Christmas every year, so there's our entertainment.

There's also the 401(k) and the IRAs, but who's counting? I suppose I'm blessed that I could keep up a writing career and bring in around $10,000 per year for whatever else we needed.

I'm really trying to figure out how a million dollars (or even half of that) would not be able to support us. I mean, a "normal" woman with no education and her kids in school would just work during the day, right? Maybe she'd only be making $25,000 per year, but on top of life insurance, wouldn't that take care of an awful lot of living expenses if she spent it wisely? We're talking about a woman who doesn't need designer clothes and purses and shoes and vacations. A woman who lives in a 1,500-square-foot house with a low house payment. A woman with a paid-off car. A woman who has kids who don't go to private school. You know, a woman who is SUFFERING (ha!).

So once again I realize my argument isn't the best (I write these posts with kids hanging on me, what do you want ... real journalism?). I'm curious to see where you stand. Do you know someone who had no life insurance but made it anyway?

Someone who had life insurance and struggled?

Someone with no education who made it big? (Steve Jobs, anyone?)

Now I'm getting all sad thinking about living without Aron, so I'm going to go love on him.

Racism & The Hunger Games (Call Me Swedish-American, Dammit)

I checked this out just for fun. I have to say I don't understand why people would take the time to get outraged about something so stupid (check out this). So some of the characters in the movie The Hunger Games were BLACK* ... so what? I don't remember the book ever saying what color anyone was, but maybe I missed that part. You'd think BLACK people would be glad that other BLACK people were included in the movie and were given parts and jobs, but nobody can just be freaking happy anymore.

Newsflash: in the future (where The Hunger Games is set), I bet there are BLACK people. What if the whole movie had been made with, say, Chinese people? Think of the outrage! I mean, you read a book and picture stuff a certain way and then they go and make some of the characters black! And if you read the book and thought all the characters were WHITE (like I did), maybe you are a racist (like I am not).

*I'm almost over figuring out how to be politically correct, folks. My black friends can call me WHITE (or honkey or cracker if they like) and I can call them BLACK and I can call my gay friends GAY yet I don't call my Latino friends BROWN or my Asian pals YELLOW so I'm at a loss. And if I have to call BLACK people African American, since apparently ALL black people originated there, then they'd better take the time to find out where I am originally from and call me SWEDISH-AMERICAN or something like that.

Taking Good Friday off so this is it til the weekend, peeps. Have at it.

The Pope Told Me to Have 5 Kids So I Obeyed

Subtitle: Natural Family Planning Fun at Age Forty

I realize some of you may be new to the blog and haven't quite found the time yet to check out my entire blog for the last 4 years (shame on you, and I'll wait while you print the whole thing out ...), so here is a post about something we are currently dealing with in our marital life. Thank the good Lord above my husband is a patient (long suffering) man and so won't mind me talking about our sex life. Dad, if you are here, you need to see yourself out please. This is not for your eyes.

Okay, I'm only writing this because most people I say "NFP" to do not have a clue what I'm talking about. And then when I say Natural Family Planning, they say, "Oh, like the Rhythm Method!" And I say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

NFP is a scientific method based on all sorts of cool stuff I'm not going to go into right now unless you beg me to in the comments section. Basically you use a chart based on a regular 28-day cycle ... like the first 7 days are reserved for a woman's period. The next 7 are often fertile. Then next 14 are hopefully "dry" and therefore you can get busy wit yo spouse.

Currently we use the don't-touch-me-at-all-until-I'm-on-Day-20-of-my-chart-thanks-hon method of NFP since we are trying to NOT get pregnant. Disclaimer: if it happens, we will be thrilled but we are trying to NOT make it happen right now.

It's funny when I talk to other moms my age in Catholic settings. This woman I went to high school with is my age and pregnant with her 7th. She said this one is a "Day 8 baby". I nodded and pointed at Samuel and said, "Day 9 baby." This means that you generally have a teeny infertile window between your period and your fertile time and if you have sex then you just might get pregnant. We NFP users know the odds and are happy with the result no matter what. It's not the Rhythm Method, like I said, but it's a bit of a crapshoot if you aren't checking your womanly signs during that time. Oh, and if you're taking medicines that dry up your nasal mucus for a cold or something OR antibiotics, that will mess with your signals.

As for title of this blog, the other day some dude made a crack about that and I was like, "Um, no, dude, the Pope does not tell me how many kids to have. We WANT a bunch of kids and always did and we enjoy using NFP because it's free and natural and doesn't mess with my body and all that."

So for those of you who think the Pope tells all us Catholics how many kids to have, let me tell you that the majority of Catholics DO use artificial birth control or have been sterilized. (check this out) We are the freaky minority Catholics who use NFP, and NOT because some guy in Italy told us to. How ridiculous!

The Atheist/Agnostic Easter Egg Hunt

Last Saturday we got to go to an Easter Egg Hunt put on by a couple of atheist/agnostic pals for their daughter's preschool/daycare pals and for my 5 kids and my friend's 5 kids. I know Easter Egg Hunts are not religious or anything, but I just thought it ironic (?) that these kinda anti-religion people were putting on a hunt for Easter eggs, specifically. I was in charge of these 3 little ones while the other big ones were in the big-kid area!

It's sorda like when you see me and my little homeschooled kids (some people read that I am anti-school) traipsing to the school across the street for the Ice Cream Social (we haven't missed one in years!) or the School Carnival or the Halloween Fright Night. Or when we hit Field Day at the private school or have lunch and do recess there with Jordan. It's like you wouldn't think they mix, but they do.

So the hunt rocked. This chick who put it on thought of everything. Some eggs had prize tickets in them so at the end each kid got to pick a small or big prize based on the number of their ticket. So Big Prize #1 got to choose first and there were some serious prizes, folks.

Later, there was pizza and organic juice pouches and playing at the playground at the park where the hunt was held. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. These are some good people, even if they aren't Catholic. Wait, my parents aren't Catholic, either. Nor is most of my family. And I love them all fiercely (and even let my aunt call me a fish-eater ... tee hee!). Huh, guess religion doesn't matter after all when you enjoy each other's company.

My dad said something goofy like "What Would Jesus Hunt?"or "How Many Easter Eggs Would Jesus Get?" ... I know I messed it up ... but he made a funny about Jesus and Easter egg hunts and Easter baskets and all that stuff that has nothing to do with the religious meaning of Easter.

Who says homeschoolers ALL shelter their kids? I think we had a great day of Diversity Training last Saturday! I'm really branching out since getting kicked out of that "Christian-led" homeschool group, huh (had to add the word "led" because I'm not unhappy with the ENTIRE group, just with the management and a few of her minions)?

If you care, I'll be blowing that story apart on my Homeschooling Mommybot blog within the next week. I just can't let it die until I've warned everyone about the crazy.

New Commenting System on My Blog

Please bear with me as I try out a new commenting system on the blog. It should totally rock ... you should be able to sign up ONCE and then be remembered. I'm sick of Blogger's pain in the butt commenting system. Also, when you leave a comment, be sure to check below your comment because there's a place to subscribe to follow-up comments. You're going to want to do that since lately I'm replying to commenters. ALSO, it's supposed to make it so if you have a blog, your most current post will show up along with your name as commenter, so if you are super witty, my readers will come to YOUR site :-) We'll see how it goes.

Crunchy Moms Funny

I've had this one for awhile and wanted to post it. I hope BlogHer doesn't kick my butt because I don't know where the picture came from or who to give credit to for it. Anyway, it rocks. I wish I could make it bigger, though. Enjoy the funny on this hot Kansas City Monday, bloggy pals!

Catholic Charities Doesn't Take Toy Donations?

Way before Christmas I tried to drop off a donation at my local Catholic Charities thrift store. This mean guy looked me straight in the eye and said, "No more toy donations." I tried to ask him why, and when that started but any question I would ask he kept smiling and saying, "No more toy donations." Maybe he didn't speak English or something and that's all he could repeat, but he seemed kinda mean about it.

So I contacted CC by email and the top dog said that was wrong and to keep taking toys there. Then the other day I tried to take some other stuff and a supervisor told me they don't take toys anymore. Of course I can't just say OKAY (my poor parents as I was growing up!) and have to ask questions. He said they still take toys at their other location but not there. When I asked why he said something about kids and loose parts.

Look, I know there are tons of other places I can take used toys. Garage sales are a pain in my butt, but I know I can try to sell the perfect ones to Once Upon a Child first and that there are other places to donate everything else. Heck, there are many charities that will come to my door and pick up donations for free.

I have a few points here:

1. Why does only ONE location not take toys? The kids in one city can choke on loose toy parts but the other kids won't? Maybe the parents are smarter in one city and not in mine. Maybe they supervise their kids better at the other location?
2. Loose toy parts? Heard of shrinkwrap, by the way? That would take care of your problem. I think it's more like the people who work there are annoyed by the kids TESTING OUT the toys! Trust me, I know this may be the case because I've traipsed 5 in there and tried out little bikes before buying!
3. There are people who specifically go to that location to buy toys, and I know there are many people dropping off nice toys there.
4. They are missing out on some money there, so stop bugging me all the time at church about needing money for CC when I'm now wondering if you are even running the dang thing well.

I don't care enough to contact the head CC guy again. Just enough to write a blog post to let ya'll know the deal. Maybe they'll Google themselves and leave me a comment like many businesses do. We shall see!

You Can Only Pick 5 Cable Channels ...

Okay, I have ZERO cable channels, so I like to daydream about what channels I would pick if the cable companies finally pulled their heads out of their butts and let customers choose just a few channels they want for a lower price. My husband would totally go for that, and here are the 5 channels we would get:

Animal Planet because I have animal lovers in the house, and it's educational.

National Geographic because it's educational.

Discovery because ... well, okay, it's educational. This is the only way I would get him to agree to pay for it!

This one is hard. Either Disney or Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Aron doesn't really love sports (except for right now when KU is playing in the FINAL TWO, BABY!), so I would take his choice and pick BRAVO. Sorry, but I love me some reality TV. I'm an only child, so I never learned how to girl fight properly. BRAVO is where I learn to do that. Thank you, Andy Cohen.

For now I will live with Mom taping shows for us off of cable. Billy the Exterminator, Pokemon, Housewives, Worst Cooks in America for Joel, Million-Dollar Listing New York (sociopaths!) and more.

Which ones would YOU pick and why?

I'm Putting My Kids in School and Preschool

Man, I need a break. I'm whipped. Aron's going to start traveling again, and it gets hard to maintain the house and the cooking and to keep everyone clean and cared for. Then you throw homeschooling into the mix, and forget it ... my day is shot. And, well, my writing career is taking off and I really need to nurture it while people want my stuff. It won't wait around for me forever.

The other day we went to the private school to buy trash bags. We get bugged a lot about sending our kids there by people who work there when they see us at church or wherever. Last week this woman really made sense to me. She was like, "They'll have fun here all day. What would you do with yourself all day?" They happen to have a preschool program also where I could put Eva and Sam for at least half a day.

What WOULD I do with myself, being a normal mom and all that? I would exercise and meditate and make thousands of dollars writing (well, about $7,000 or so per year would have to go to the school and preschool, but who is counting?). I would keep an immaculate house and cook things like duck a l'orange and coq au vin. My kids would get a first-class private education.

So in the fall, there they go. I'll miss them and all the fun we have homeschooling. They don't want to go (well, Callie kind of does), but I have to do this for myself. I'll also miss my homeschooling friends. I guess I'll see them around sometimes. Better take down my Facebook homeschool group page.

Sorry, guys, I'm really bad at this kind of stuff because I'm just a bad liar in general so I don't even try ...

Happy April Fool's Day, people! And happy birthday to my niece Lia! We love you ;-)

Anything Bad in Your Life ... You Brought It On Yourself, Dummy!

I sound like an old person when I say: they don't make things like they used to! I'm telling you that THE DAY AFTER our warranties run out lately, machinery is BROKEN! Broken, I tell you, broken.

So here is me standing over my washing machine that doesn't know how to fill itself up with water, the big dummy. And I am so stubborn that I am NOT calling the flipping service center to have someone charge me $100 to PEER inside it and tell me I owe another $300 to fix it.

Poor Aron is getting annoyed with all the broken crap in our home. There's some New Age writer person who says we all bring crap upon ourselves. Cancer, miscarriage, house fires, car accidents, you name it ... you made it happen, you all-powerful negative dummy!

I've pondered this a lot and am not sure I agree with it. You think on it and let me know where you stand.

In the meantime, I will be hand-filling (with a hose) my washing machine and attempting to remember to go down twice to do a rinse load to get the detergent out. Aron probably thinks I'm crazy but I REFUSE to give in to the MACHINERY MAN (Kenmore this time) on this one. I am grateful to have a washing machine and am grateful that all I have to do it stand there and fill it up with water instead of washing clothes down by the crick (creek to you) on a washboard.

Catch you Monday!

Flashback Friday: Disneyland 1998

It's a little fuzzy, but this is indeed myself and my husband at Disneyland just mere days after getting married in October of 1998. We took off to California ... San Diego and Laguna Beach ... just a couple days after the wedding. We took Sunday to open wedding gifts and left on Monday for a one-week honeymoon.

Almost 14 years later I still dig the guy, even though we both look a little bit different and have the wonderful distraction of children and a house and homeschooling.

I love him even when he moves my stacks of papers to prominent locations in the hope that I will do something (ANYTHING!) with the stack instead of let it sit next to the potatoes on the shelf in the kitchen.

You have to be pretty understanding to be married to someone like me ... an only child who always had her own space, someone who is kind of a creative type who has papers and ideas all over the house, someone who isn't the greatest at cooking or cleaning. We're probably half "Opposites Attract" and half Similar.

I love you, Babe!

Bloggy peeps, I'll catch you later. I'm off to see The Hunger Games movie with my mom and oldest son.

America's Favorite Coffee

I also asked on my The Kerrie Show page on Facebook what everyone's favorite coffee was. I gave them the choices of Scooter's or Starbuck's.

My dad wins with this answer:

"If I had that kind of disposable income I'd probably go on meth. For $5 I can have Folgers Black Silk all week! Besides, Scooter's sounds like a place where dogs with worms would go."

Somebody else answered, "Keurig chocolate mudslide." Intriguing. I've been thinking about those Keurig thingies. One in-law said theirs clogged a lot, but another in-law loves theirs. I love the idea of a fresh cup of coffee whenever I want it or when company comes and wants coffee. I have a coffee-maker that doesn't have a warming spot and now have no microwave, so if I could get a Keurig for cheap to try, I might just have to do it.

Aren't we spoiled, Americans? With our $5 coffees and our fresh cup of coffee whenever we want it at home? It's sickening, really, but I will try to enjoy it if I must.

Me personally, I like Starbuck's better but it's not good for my wallet. I had a gift card that I kept loading up and putting purchases on so I could get a fancy gold card with my name on it, but one of the naughty kids took it out of my wallet to play with it and there ya go. A sign from God that I should stay away from 'buck's?

Fast fact: In a book called Cloud Atlas (soon to be a movie), in the future a coffee is just called a starbuck.

There you have it, readers: the word on the street. Or the word on Facebook making it's way to this blog.

America's Favorite Donut

I recently did a little Facebook question about donuts and it was "Krispy Kreme or Dunkin' Donuts?" The answers were varied, but my favorite was from my friend in Colorado that I went to high school with named Stephen:

"Never KK!! It's like they put their chocolate frosting on with an eye-dropper! What are we, rationing for war?!"

Me personally, I like Dunkin's coffee drinks, and they are cheap. The huge iced coffee I get is only $2.29 (the caramel turtle is too sweet, and if I'm sayin' that, a normal person will be in a diabetic coma within 4 sips), and they have a punch card so you get a free one after a few purchases. I like KK's donuts better. I'm sure I would love the Mom and Pop shop donuts like Lamar's or Daylight (Kansas City specific places?) if I gave them a chance.

I just got my last freebie coffee last week and have to stay away ... need to fit into my swimsuit and the shorts I bought last summer AND save money for that new roof we need next year. The joys of home ownership!

Where is your favorite donut in America and what city are you in?

A Prescription to Get Sudafed???

sudafed.com

I don't know how they do it in YOUR state, but in Kansas (and I think they are proposing it in Missouri based on what I'm hearing on the radio but not based on any good research), if you want any cold medicine containing pseudoephedrine you have to walk you happy butt up to the pharmacist and ask for it and show your ID and sign for it and they put you in a database, you crackhead! I tried to buy it at drugstore.com as a journalistic experiment (I'm here for you, people), but I got this message.


It's because pseudo (for short) is used to make crystal meth, so they think that by tracking nice, normal people coming into a pharmacy, they will potentially cut down on meth production or at least catch some people who are making it??? I don't know how many times you can buy it in a year without having the cops knock on your door, and I don't want to find out! You have to love this site, where they explain how to make it and then say don't do it.

So I heard on some talk radio how people in Missouri are all mad about how they have to go to the pharmacist to ask for their drug and how much extra TIME it takes and how badly they need their drug. And I wanted to slap this one guy. I'm like, hey, dummy ... just grab some freaking nasal spray if you want to be able to breathe. It's cheaper and it's easier and you'll be a little bit less messed up. (just don't do the 2-3 recommended squirts they say ... start slow, like with 1).

Breaking news (from 2011): Check this out: they are talking about making you have a doc prescription to buy pseudo. Isn't that a little crazy? Really, when I have a cold, I'm going to pay a $25 copay plus deductible to get a prescription for pseudo when NASAL SPRAY works faster?!

What do you think about all this? I don't really give a crap because I don't make meth and I flipping HATE pseudoephedrine. But I guess this is rocking some people's entire existence. And the government is worried about pot?! I think they have bigger problems.

Are You a Grammar Nazi?

According to www.urbandictionary.com, a Grammar Nazi is “a person who believes proper grammar (and spelling) should be used by everyone whenever possible … One who attempts to persuade or force others to use proper grammar and spelling … One who uses proper grammar and spelling to subtly mock and deride those who do not; an exhibitor of grammatical superiority.”

Yep, that’s me. It also describes many of my friends. And if some of the items below sound familiar to you, you may also be a Grammar Nazi:

1. You don’t “do” texting because your can’t stand looking at abbreviations for words.
2. You try to use proper grammar and spelling on Facebook, in email, on instant messaging.
3. You cringe when you see ads, articles, billboards, etc. with grammatical and spelling errors.
4. You drive your friends and family nuts pointing out errors.
5. You might be known to clap and do a little dance when asked to proofread your niece’s 6^th grade fiction story.
6. You have a variety of red pens and love them more than shoes, chocolate, sports cars or The Hunger Games.

Us Grammar Nazis have to stick together, so when the folks at Grammarly asked me to check out their product, I was excited! Grammarly is grammar checker software that checks over 150 points of grammar, plagiarism, word choice and more. They say that "in 30 seconds or less, you will receive a detailed report on all mistakes and marked up text."


As a homeschooling mom, you bet your butt I try to teach my kids excellent grammar at all times. And when their friends come over, poor things, I'm correcting their grammar, too! I can't help myself. I want my blog posts to be fabulous, and lately it seems like I'm falling down on the job in the areas of grammar and spelling. So I popped this blog post as you are reading it now into Grammarly's easy grammar checker and got this report:

Grammarly found 28 critical writing issues and generated
10 vocabulary enhancement suggestions for your text.

Score: 47 of 100

See full report

(weak, needs revision)

Plagiarism		Plagiarism checking is turned off. To get information on plagiarism, re-run the report with plagiarism detection turned on.
Contextual Spelling Check	4issues	Spelling (3) Commonly confused words (1) Ignored words
Grammar	8issues	Use of conjunctions (1) Use of adjectives and adverbs (1) Use of qualifiers and quantifiers (1)
Punctuation	2issues	Punctuation within a sentence (2) Closing punctuation Formal punctuation
Style and Word Choice	14issues	Writing style (13) Vocabulary use (1)

Say what? Weak? And here I thought I was perfect. What a shock to my entire being to learn that I need MUCHO help with my writing!


This product is also great for students and writers. I can toss an article into the grammar checker and it's like I just went through four years of college for an English degree, only Grammarly is much cheaper than college! Right now I'm dreaming of all my old articles I'm going to send through Grammarly and then send them out to magazines again (corrected this time!). I am going to be a writing rock star! Nobody can stop me now with the help of Grammarly!


Oh, and at my husband's work they are always writing reports for jobs. I shudder to think of all the errors that are most likely going on there ... and at companies and schools and in homes all over the world!


Grammar Nazis, we can fix the world one error at a time with the help of Grammarly! All you have to do is head to Grammarly's site and try out their software for FREE! Report back here, please. I'm off to contact Facebook about using Grammarly to fix all those bad status updates.

Pot Post Amendment and Evil Pseudoephedrine

Back in January I posted this about the legalization of marijuana. It was an opinion piece based on personal experience and the fact that I don't need the fuzz in my life, thank you very much. If it's not legal, I try not to do it (okay, so I speed sometimes and that is illegal ... are we going to nitpick every area of my life now, sheesh!).

Anyway, I heard from some peeps and I feel like I should add some serious information about what I will simply call "pot" because it's easier. Why is it called pot, anyway?

OH, and I recently took an allergy pill with pseudoephedrine in it and it WIGGED ME OUT! I mean, how does the stupid FDA decide what to put out there? And how is it that ONE pill is going to be just right for a 100-pound teenager AND for a 300-pound adult man? I'm somewhere in between the two, and it messed me up all night long. It was like taking a seriously crazy drug. I was pissed because I was sick, Aron was out of town, and I took this thing that made it so I could breathe, but it also was like putting my brain on speed all night long. I was half asleep, half awake and I understand why they use it to make meth! Never again!

Stay with me here ...

So I was like, "Self, why is a natural plant like pot (yeah, I know it's not the real name) targeted as being so bad? It helps heal people. It calms their butts down. It's better than most junk that the FDA says is fine. Let's bag it up, market it and sell it in stores like they do in California."

I'm pretty sure I interact daily with people who go home and smoke some pot. I couldn't really pick them out, though, based on anything they do. I'm thinking some of the proponents of the legalization of pot are smoking it on the sly PERHAPS, and you'd never know it ... they work, they raise families, they are normal people. They are often a hell of a lot nicer than some other people I know. I guess I'm for legalizing pot, but you can tell I don't smoke it because I'm too high-strung all the time (!). The legalization of pot would do me some good most likely. But I assume, and digress. Here's a great quote from someone:

"Got to take issue with you on this posting, because you don't have the facts straight. Not only does cannabis not kill brain cells and fry your brain, but it is curing people of all kinds of cancers and serious diseases. Why do you think it's illegal? Because western medicine and giant pharma don't want people curing themselves with a natural plant that we can grow ourselves. It would destroy that gillion dollar industry. 

There is plenty of documentation out now showing the research that is being done. The FDA has patents pending on the use of cannabis and the National Cancer Institute issued a statement this summer stating that cannabinoids (the active constituent in cannabis) has been shown to reduce the size of cancerous tumors. The world is finally waking up to the positive applications of cannabis. 

Our government desperately needs to change the federal laws on cannabis to coincide with the state laws to allow people to use it for medicine without the fear that they will be arrested. This is such an antiquated system and it is going to change in our lifetimes. I am very passionate about this subject and I could go on and on. 

I would really like to implore you to educate your following on this subject with the most up-to-date facts, instead of old out-dated beliefs, if you're going to bring it up at all. 

All us hippies haven't been doing this all our lives for nothing. It has been dismissed as harmful and foolish for a reason, but the truth is now surfacing. And just because something has been deemed illegal, doesn't make it bad. I understand you're position as a mom, but soon you won't have to worry about that. Those laws are going to change, sooner than later."


And this:

"Hopefully someday you will want to teach your kids the truth on this subject, for the next generation will be the ones benefitting from my generations struggles. This is a very important issue that will be of historical significance someday. This is an issue of freedom. Freedom to heal ourselves. Freedom from giant, manipulating institutions trying to control us. 

This issue is especially important for mothers to have the freedom to treat their own children with, not only this medicinal plant, but many others. This is the reason millions of women were burned at the stake, because they knew how to heal and administer herbs to their communities and men didn't like it, so they called them witches and murdered them. This an issue of freedom on so many levels.

There is an organization of young, educated, professional mothers in Washington, who are advocating for the change in cannabis laws, for these very reasons. NORML Women's Alliance. They are on Facebook."

Here are some links to blogs and videos that will educate you more if you are interested in knowing more:

The NORML Network blog

NORML Women's Alliance Facebook Page

Cured: A Cannabis Story

Shonda Banda -- Live Free or Die

Run From the Cure

The Shonda Banda Story

Latest Science: Non-Psychotropic Cannabinoid Inhibits Colon Cancer Cell Proliferation

I appreciate the people who sent me the educational links, but I have to make a quasi-joke now as that is what I do ... if cannabis helps with nausea, wouldn't it be great is pregnant women could use it in their first trimester to cure morning sickness with no adverse affects on baby? Maybe they'll all get a mellow baby? Just sayin'. (you know I'm all for B12 for morning sickness, though, folks)

IXL.com: Online Math Program My Kids Love!

1. I don't love math. Since everything builds on something else, if you master something and then space out for a class, you are behind and getting Ds all of a sudden. That's my school career in a nutshell.
2. Many math teachers are a snore. I had ONE decent math teacher from kindergarten through 2 years of college. She was a redhead who replaced a guy we couldn't even understand in 10th grade geometry. We still all flunked that year, which isn't really fair. The school hired a moron and we suffer!? Then this chick comes in and ROCKED IT! She didn't move forward until every single person understood. And she had a whole YEAR to teach in half a year.
3. I can teach elementary math just okay. But I have to admit that Joel was doing fine until I started breeding again (Eva and Samuel) and my attentions were elsewhere. Michael is just "good at math" ... he just gets it. So he and Joel right now are basically at the same level, with holes to fill in by me.
4. On my very own blog there was an ad for IXL.com and I clicked on it and signed up! For 3 kids it's only $14.95 per month. I didn't get the year membership because I wasn't sure it was for us. It's so  hard to find something perfect for your homeschooling family when there is so much out there to choose from.
5. I love IXL.com because I'm a relaxed homeschooler. The kids can do as much or as little as they want each day (even weekends, holidays, summer), you can pick and choose the grade level and the skill you want to see if they know. If they are rocking it, they keep going. They can do it at 8 a.m. or 8 p.m.
6. There are like over 200 skills for each grade level (not kindergarten or pre-K), and if your 8-year-old doesn't know odds/evens for 3rd grade, no worries! He can try out the 2nd grade stuff for odds/evens and even go back to 1st grade if needed.
7. I feel like I'm doing SOMETHING instead of just avoiding math. Of course I'll have to teach some of the holes, but this seems to be a much more peaceful way of doing things. I sit at the table next to the kid who is working and am able to work on other things but be available. I can change a diaper or wash dishes if I need to, as well. The kids don't have to get 100% in every skill, but they WANT to ... and as they master skills, put time in and answer questions, they get "award" ... on a grid they flip over cards to find prizes on them like animals and farm stuff and other fun things.
8. I highly recommend this program! As one kid is on the laptop doing math, I have the others doing a Story Starter or art or just independent play.

I'm looking for your online homeschool recommendations. I'm thinking of trying out abcmouse.com for Eva, for example. And I have a friend over at Virtually Yours who is making me want to check out virtual school options, except for I don't want to have 10 computers all over the house!

Updated 4/11/12 to add: We still love this program! And it looks like they'll be getting language arts stuff sometime, too. For only $14 per month 3 of my kids can do math, AND my 4-year-old can work on the PreK stuff (free) on one of the other kids' accounts. Sometimes I can leave them alone and sometimes I sit next to them and sometimes I have to help them through it. Comment if you have any questions.

Updated 5/18/12 to add: Still enjoy it. I love getting the emailed reports that say, "John has demonstrated 50% proficiency in 1st Grade." You know you and your child are really getting somewhere!

Boy Scout Campouts and Ninny Babies

I try really hard to stay on top of things around here. I have a huge wall calendar that I have to look at every day. I have a huge planner that I try to keep important things in. I have a nice file cabinet for all the house and kid and homeschooling and writing stuff I need. Sometimes I miss stuff. I hate when I do that. I berate myself in my head and then try to physically kick my own butt.

So when the Scout leader (we're in the big leagues now, you know ... BOY Scouts instead of CUB Scouts) called to say there was a weekend campout coming up in a few days, I scrambled to check out the stack of Scout paperwork it was taking me forever to go through. I saw a little note about the campout, but apparently I need phone call reminders, and email reminders and a mailed, engraved, calligraphied invitation or I just don't get it through my head!

I told the guy probably not since Aron has been out of town and is catching up on all sorts of house things and Aron would want to go with Joel. He said the other 2 new boys don't have a parent going with THEM. I said WE are more comfortable sending his dad along with him. I felt like an overprotective shrew, so I checked in with Aron and Joel, and I was right. Joel doesn't really want to go with people he doesn't know very well for an entire weekend, and his dad can't go right now. Here are some of my reasons for doing what I did:

1. He's only 10. Aron says the point of Scouts is to get the boys off the ninny (boob), but I want to know what the freaking rush is? He has years to get to that coveted Eagle Scout award, and can I please just GRADUALLY let him head into manhood?
2. He doesn't go to school with these kids so he doesn't know them well. He has YEARS to get to know them. I'm sure by this time next year he'll be just fine going alone if he has to.
3. I homeschool, so I'm overprotective by nature. I don't drop him off daily somewhere alone, so why would I send him away for a weekend alone with someone he doesn't know?
4. I know THIS is controversial, but we don't really do sleepovers anymore unless it's with a grandparent. Isn't this akin to a sleepover, only AGAIN, with people we know even less well than the parents of a sleepover kid?
5. He just recently got over his falling asleep issues.
6. I understand that the adults are trained. I myself was a Cub Scout leader and did all the training, including the Catholic Church's VIRTUS training. Call me cynical, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
7. This probably doesn't apply to his very first campout, but I've heard from an older Eagle Scout about quasi-hazing that goes on during camp. Other people tell me that's no accurate, but I trust this person very much. He acts like it's just something boys have to go through. I think it's bullshit.
8. I know too many people who were messed with as kids or whose kids were messed with.

What would you do?