The Death Of A Parent: What To Expect

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The loss of a parent as an adult can be an extremely confusing, challenging time. While everyone will experience the situation differently - we all grieve in our own way, to an extent - there are a few things that can make this difficult situation more manageable, as we have discussed in more depth below. 

1) Accept offers of help for the practicalities 

For adult children, grief can often be overtaken by the sheer number of tasks that suddenly arise following a parents death. From planning the initial funeral to managing estate litigation, there’s simply so much that demands your attention. To help keep everything in hand - and ensure you do not have to overwork yourself while also grieving - accept offers of assistance from friends and family; try to remember that you don’t have to do everything alone. 

2) Consider professional bereavement therapy 

Talking to a therapist about your loss can often be preferable to talking to friends or family, especially if your friends and family are also dealing with their own grief. A therapist is an uninvolved party who can lend an ear and allow you to work through how you are feeling, so it may be worth scheduling a few sessions to see if you find them beneficial.

3) Don’t try to predict your emotions

The emotional response to the loss of a parent can be extremely varied, and tends to differ between people. Some people feel lost, abandoned, or fearful without their parent; others feel more upset, unsure of how to proceed; while others may primarily feel able to focus on celebrating their parent’s life rather than mourning their death. What matters is that all of these responses (and more) are completely valid, and you may cycle between various (and sometimes contradictory) thoughts and feelings every few days or even hours. These changes are all part of the natural grief process, so just try to go with the flow rather than ‘expecting’ to feel a certain way at a certain time.

4) Tell yourself, over and over, that your grief is entirely natural 

It is an unfortunate truth that, societally, the death of a parent is often treated as rather… standard, something that happens to everyone eventually, and is something that any adult child knew to ‘expect’ one day. When combined, all of these ideas can coalesce into a strange sense that a death of a parent is simply not that significant… which couldn’t be further from the truth. Whatever your age, losing a parent is an incredibly difficult experience; it’s okay not to be okay and to grieve for as long as you feel it necessary - remind yourself of this every day, and let your emotions, rather than the expectations of others, be your guide.

You will likely experience many different emotions and thoughts when grieving the loss of a parent, and there’s so much to think about, the whole combination can quickly become overwhelming. Hopefully the advice above can help provide a route through and ensure you can find a way through this trying time - and at your own pace, of course.

Make a Homemade Chore Chart and Toothbrushing Chart

*Originally posted April 2013 but I brought it out of the vault for anyone who might need it. The kids are now ages 10-18 and don't need help in this area to remember to brush their teeth or do their chores, and they regularly come back with a NO CAVITIES report at the dentist! (don't forget to include the little handheld flossers in the routine!)

I think I might FINALLY have something in place that will get all the little things done that need to be done around the house. And no, I did not have 5 children so they could be my minions. I am merely instilling responsibility in them now since when they grow up they will be doing chores around their own pad.

Who am I kidding? Odds are at least two of the five will turn out like me: MESSY and SLOBBY but can find anything in a pinch for about 20 years after leaving home and THEN the realization will hit them around 40 that keeping things kinda picked up and purged is a lot easier than cleaning for days at a time after it gets out of hand!

My sweet and crazy kids after church one night at Cure of Ars, where my husband and I got married in 1998 and where I was baptized, etc. in 1999.

So here's the link to my recently made combination Homemade Chore Chart and Toothbrushing Chart on Google Docs so you can check it out and then make your own in Excel however you like. Or you can just look at it and laugh or make fun of me or whatever crumbles your cookie.

We've tried many different chore charts over the years but my kids like how I set this one up. They love that I store it in a plastic page protector, keep it on the fridge, then they can use a dry erase marker to cross things off as they complete them. They LOVE using the dry erase marker!

Note: I had to add in pencil at the bottom that Joel feed the dog breakfast, Michael feeds him dinner and Callie is in charge of keeping water in the dog bowl. I got tired of catching the poor dog drinking from the toilet because he had no water in his bowl!

Wondering how I get them to clean the bathroom? Check out my Funny Bathroom Cleaning Instructions with a funny ecard here!

Celsius Or Fahrenheit? Why Do We Have Two Ways Of Measuring Temperature?

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Celsius and Fahrenheit are both units of measuring temperature. For anyone who regularly references online recipes or likes to check in on the weather across the world, these two very different scaled can be a real pain in the backside. The United States of America still predominantly uses the Fahrenheit scale, whereas the United Kindom and most of the rest of the world, use Celsius and so you may have found yourself needing to use a Celsius to Fahrenheit converter on more than one occasion in order to understand what’s going on. But what is the difference? Where did these two units of measurement come from and which is better?

What is Fahrenheit? 

The Fahrenheit temperature scale was created by and named after the physicist, Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit in 1724. Before this time temperature was measured using a thermoscope invented by Galileo Galilei, though these thermoscopes didn’t actually have a unit of measurement. There have been several accounts about the way in which Daniel Gabriel Fahrenehiet created the Fahrenheit scale but the most commonly sited is that he began by defining the lower point of 0 first. He did this by establishing when a solution of brine froze, the brine he created was made from equal measures of ice, water and salt. He then established further limits to add to his scale such as the melting point of regular ice which was set at 32. The scale is now defined by two fixed points, the temperature at which water freezes into ice as defined by 32 and the point at which water boils which is defined to be 212.

What is Celcius?

The Celsius temperature scale was first invented several years later in 1742 by the Swedish astronomer named Anders Celsius for which it was named. But there is one important difference between the Celsius scale that Anders Celcius invented and the one in use today, the scale was the reverse. 0 degrees Celsius was the boiling point and 100 degrees was the freezing point of water. This changed in 1744 when Carolus Linnaeus, a botanist in Sweden, reversed it to make the freezing temperature of water 0 and the boiling point 100. 

Which is better?

The scale you use will largely depend on where you were bought up and what you were taught in school or college, though Celsius is the more widely used unit and is the primary scale used within scientific fields. As a general rule, people tend to prefer using Celcius because the key numbers for boiling and melting are more easy to remember. 

How do you convert one to the other?

Although the US remains one of the only users of the Fahrenheit scale it doesn’t look to be replaced any time soon and so you will still need to know how to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius.  As mentioned earlier, the easiest way to do this is with an online converter as it does the calculation for you but in case you are interested, the mathematics behind it is as follows. 

1. Fahrenheit = [Celcius] × 9 / 5 + 32
2. Celsius = (Fahrenheit - 32) / 1.8

Struggling to Pay Off Your Debts? Here's Where to Start

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The financial world is a maze of unnecessary jargon, red-topped letters and small print. Many companies are happy to make demands but very few will actually help their clients to meet them. This is why getting into debt is so distressing: you can quickly find your finances spiraling out of control. 

The key thing to remember is this: if you bury your head in the sand, it will get worse. On the other hand, if you ask for help, you can get back to black and get on with your life. Debt doesn’t have to be all-encompassing and even if you are facing court action, you can get assistance with a debt lawsuit. But let’s not jump the gun, here’s where you should start. 

Understanding Your Money

Before you can begin to fight your debt, you need to understand your money and balance your income and expenses. Start by writing down all your income streams. For most people, this will be their regular monthly salary but if you are working a few jobs, have a side hustle or you’re freelance, it might be a bit more complicated. You should also write down how much you have in savings, if you have any. 

Next, write down your outgoings. The simplest way to do this is to look back at 3 months’ worth of bank statements and put each spend into a category such as loan repayments, fuel, groceries, insurance, rent/ mortgage etc. Adding all these costs together will tell you how much you are spending. If you subtract your spending from your income, you should, ideally, find that you have a bit leftover. Your spending will also reveal where you could be getting more for your household budget.

Setting Debt Repayment Goals

If you are struggling with debt, you probably won’t have a bit left over at the end of the month and you may even be spending more than you make. While this is obviously a problem, it can be fixed. 

There are 2 schools of thought for paying off multiple debts. Start by writing down your debts, beginning with the one you’re paying the highest interest rate on and moving down to the lowest interest rate. 

The stacking method suggests that you pay off the highest interest rate while making minimum payments on your other debts. Then once that debt is cleared, continue down the list, one at a time. The snowball method is very similar but instead of paying the highest interest, you pay off the smallest debt. 

Working Out Your Action Plan

While you are repaying your debts and working through your list, you should also look at ways to save money. You don’t want to get into more debt while you are working so hard to repay! Start by reducing your spending as much as possible by living as frugally as you can. If you have some spare time, you might also consider taking on a second job or a side hustle to raise some extra cash. 

Being in debt is stressful but it isn’t forever. Ask for help, work out your financial plan and start working one day at a time. You can do this. 

Buying A New Construction Property: Tips To Simplify The Entire Process

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New construction properties have no former owners, which for buyers, is often extremely attractive. There’s no need to worry about the former owners’ taste, or long-standing issues with a property that was constructed using old-fashioned or outdated techniques: instead, it’s a fresh slate, with a modern property that you can be sure is fit for purpose. 

If you’re currently looking to move home and are intrigued by the possibility of buying a new construction property, below, we have provided advice that you may find useful. 

Buying your property 

It is possible to buy a new construction property that has already been built (which is known as buying “on spec”), but one of the best choices is to buy a property that is yet to be constructed, and which you can then customize to meet your own ideals. While this option does take awhile - as the property won’t be built until you have made all decisions - it can be worth it if you’d like to be involved in each step of the process. If customization is less important, then buying an already-built new construction is still a great choice that allows you to enjoy a property built to modern standards relatively quickly.

As well as the type of property you’re looking to buy, you’ll need to ensure you have independent advice. Building companies often recommend mortgage providers and agents to buyers for the sake of convenience, but you may prefer to make your own arrangements. However, you can ask if there is a specific discount if you go with the builders’ recommended team - there often is, which can make it an option well worth considering. 

The moving process 

The process of moving into a new construction home is largely the same as any type of property - you’ll want to hire a moving company, label boxes, and so on and so forth. There is, however, a significant benefit to be enjoyed when moving to a new construction: you can move slowly. 

As there’s no need to work around the existing owners schedule, you can start to move items as soon as the construction work is complete and you have the keys, which can remove the inevitable stress that a single “moving day” often provides. 

You may find it helpful to start by transporting items that are too large or awkward to fit into a box, or are particularly delicate and are thus not necessarily suitable to be transported alongside other items. Moving the aforementioned kinds of items individually should simplify the main bulk of the move considerably and help ensure all your items get to their new home in the best possible condition. 

When you have moved in 

When moving into a brand-new property, many people expect that they can be sure the building will be flawless - but this isn’t necessarily the case. Poor workmanship and similar issues can occur in newer properties just as they can in older ones, so a Solex Group professional home inspection is advisable upon moving into the property. If any issues are identified, then these can often be rectified under the conditions of the warranty supplied by the builder. 

With the inspection - and any necessary work - complete, you can now think about personalizing your property. Create a few mood boards and let your creativity go wild; there’s no pre-existing decor to contend with or remove, so you can create a home that perfectly suits your tastes and preferences. 

In conclusion

The attraction of being the first family to live in a property is undeniable, so if you decide to go ahead and buy a new construction, then you’re likely to be delighted by the choice - and we hope that the tips above will prove to be helpful throughout the process.