Divorce is a difficult time for any family. With so many things changing, it can be easy for your whole world to get turned upside down. If you have children, the process becomes even more complicated when custody matters are brought up. While most mothers get custody of their children in divorces, fathers do have rights when it comes to custody, too. Here are some tips for dads when it comes to gaining custody of your children during a divorce.
Build Relationships
Not only should you build strong relationships with your children, but you should also make a point to build relationships with adults who are also involved in your children's lives. For example, stop by the school and introduce yourself to their teachers. Make it a point to go to as many parent-teacher conferences as you can. Many teachers understand that their students may live at two houses, and will make accommodations so that both of you can attend - separately if necessary. You want to be just as involved in your child's activities as the other parent, if possible.
Hire a Great Lawyer
While around 90% of custody agreements are decided outside of the court, there are times where you'll need a lawyer to defend your rights as a father. You want to make sure that you hire the best lawyer you can. It's helpful to find a professional who is experienced in winning custody battles for fathers. Cordell and Cordell, for example, is a firm that is dedicated to men's interests when it comes to domestic relations. Make sure that you employ an attorney who will champion your rights instead of succumbing to the stereotype that the mother should automatically get custody.
Check Your Attitude
When it comes to determining custody - and the respect - of your children, how you treat their mother will likely be a deciding factor. You should never say derogatory things about the other parent in front of your children. Not only will this hurt your chances of gaining custody, but it's damaging for the children. It places them in a position where they are torn between pleasing you and going against themselves. Regardless of what you think of the other parent, your children still love them. If you make them feel uncomfortable by silently putting pressure on them to choose, it will only create resentment in the long run.
Keep Accurate Records
According to Cordell & Cordell, the odds are often against dads during custody battles. Because of this, keeping accurate records is a must when it comes to fighting for custody. You should not only keep accurate records of your visiting agreement and visits, but also any breaches of the agreement that your ex may have made. You don't have to write down every single little thing they have done wrong. However, serious infringements or anything that progresses into a habit should be documented. This includes things like not letting you see your children during your visit time, failing to pick the children up on time, etc.
Although it's common for the mother to get custody during a divorce, that doesn't mean it's the only option. Households that are headed by single fathers have increased since 1960 ninefold, according to Pew Research Center. There are things you can do to help you win your case. Remember to always be respectful to your ex in front of the children. Keep great records, and make sure that you are involved in your children's school and extracurricular activities. The better the relationship you have with your children, the more likely it is that you can win a custody battle.
