Chapter One: Advice to My Daughters
First high school boyfriend: Head gamey jerk who cheated on me. I went for the first guy who showed an interest in me. Don’t do that, girls! Go for who YOU like, not the first scrawny guy with a car who asks you out!
High school boyfriend B: Showed more interest in cars than
in me, nothing to talk about. Don’t be oblivious, girls, and value yourselves!
|The Waid's waitress at age 16.|
|Boyfriend B was my prom date junior year|
|Me and Debbie ... do you know how long it took to get those rockin' bangs? And how much Aquanet?|
|A lot of Sun-in and QT (Quick Tan) went into the making of this girl.|
Early twenties: Well, let’s switch gears now and date a psychologist (not mine; I certainly don’t need therapy … ha!) who is about twice my age. That can only end well, right? Nah, he peed in my Cheerios and told me it was raining (caught him with another woman – and her kids! -- at his house; he ended up marrying her briefly; his third wife). In an attempt to keep this guy, I proclaimed that I did not need to have children since he didn’t want more. EEEEEK!
Which brings us to our much happier story. And the lesson that GREAT things come out of CRAP things. And that the highest high you will ever feel (lasting love) often comes from the lowest low (crying yourself to sleep from rejection and a broken heart).
1995, I’m 24. I’m sick to death of men. But I know it’s my fault because I do the ultimate picking. A friend gives me a copy of Dr. Laura’s “10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess Up Their Lives.” She looks like a witch. She looks mean. I also start listening to her radio show. Holy crap, she’s talking to me! Have I really done all 10 of those things? Have I really broken every Commandment in the process? Things can’t get any worse. Guess I’ll start looking for someone decent, or not looking. Maybe I’ll make a good lesbian … I hate cooking and cleaning, after all, and like to negotiate. I might look good with short hair.
|This could possibly be the reason I'm the way I am: my pregnant mother gettin' her drink on in Germany in 1971. (not really!)|