Friday, September 18, 2009

Plan B

I recently saw a commercial for the Plan B pill (like RU486). The slogan is, “Because the unexpected happens.” UN-EX-PEC-TED?!?!?!

So let me get this straight. You did the dirty deed with your man. Then the next day you went, “Oh, crap, I could have gotten pregnant. Why didn’t I think of that last night when I was in utter ecstasy, especially since I don’t have a clue as to when I am fertile? I’d better get my stupid doctor (who hands out prescriptions for anything and everything like they’re tissues) to call in a Plan B for me at the pharmacy! That way, I can get rid of a ‘maybe’ pregnancy and ease my conscience by not having to decide whether I want to raise a baby with my one-night-stand or grab an abortion.” (*this post does NOT apply to rape, by the way)

Look, if you don’t except to get pregnant from having sex, you have some big problems, girlfriend. Grab yourself a copy of Ms. Magazine and a copy of the book The Feminine Mystique and get to learnin’, sister. Our foremothers didn’t fight for the right to vote for us so we could be so clueless about our own bodies.

Yes, I know I’ve written about this before. And before you go labeling me as some right-wing conservative Catholic who doesn’t know what she’s talking about, let me just tell you that I DO know what I’m talking about and we’ll leave it at that for now because I don’t feel like sharing.

But kids are having sex so young. I knew KIND OF how my menstrual cycle worked when I was a teen but didn’t understand my FERTILITY (big difference) until I was about 27 ... no joke. That tidbit would’ve saved me some serious problems.

Parents, I’m begging you … find out for yourself and then let your daughters (age 10 or age 20) in on how their fertility works for those times when a guy tells her she can’t get pregnant the first time or he forgot the condoms or she’s missed her birth control pills for a few days.

Do you want her stumbling into Advice and Aid Crisis Pregnancy Center with her “unexpected” pregnancy and trying to figure out what to do and picking out maternity clothes donated by ME?! Do you want her attending post-abortive counseling for years? Taking anti-depressants because she made a huge mistake?