Wednesday, May 13, 2009

My Dad’s Large Family Comebacks

My dad is a freakin’ hoot. He needs to be a writer. He’s still young … he can totally break in to a writing career. He wins humorous caption contests at The Kansas City Star. He writes a funny Fishing Report after the twice-yearly family fishing trips.

He and Mom only had one kid, so I’m surprised he’s become one of my biggest champions in my quest for a large family. When I told him some of the comments I get in public and about some of the snotty looks (as if I’m not ENTITLED to have so many kids), he came up with some zingers. I’m not one of those people who will say, when told “you’ve got your hands full”, something like “yes, and my heart is also full.” I like to say something funny but not rude that will make them think about what came out of THEIR mouth and help them to see me as a real person and not just a Walking Baby Oven who is too lazy to take her kids to school each day.

I recently took my kids plus 3 of their friends to an indoor playplace, for a total of 7 “truant” kids. Dad said the next time I do something like that I should say things like this to those who stare or make rude comments:

-- This is just my FIRST seven kids.

-- These are my grandchildren (I’m only 37 and often look 12).

-- These are my brothers and sisters.

-- My hands are full but my wallet is empty. Can you spare a five?

-- My husband and I can’t figure out where they’re all coming from!