McLoughlin Family Christmas Letter 2011 With BONUS Pics!

I ordered these awesome photo Christmas cards and picked them up from CVS and don't have a file, so here's a picture of the picture I ordered. Scroll down for the actual letter with BONUS photos! It's your lucky day! Whoot whoot! Whoo ho! Boo-ya!

So here's the annual Christmas letter. I'm not sure why I even write one since I have the blog. I started doing it because my husband's family always did one and I thought it was neat. The thing is, they started it because they moved AWAY and had to do a letter to keep everyone up with them and their 5 kids. My mother-in-law used to use clear gelatin to make copies of the letters. No joke, folks.

Merry Christmas! Here’s a little update (youngest kid to oldest kid) so you have something to read while you use the restroom (it doubles as toilet paper!):

Samuel turned 2 in October and loves trains, fire trucks, anything that makes noise and BALLS. The boy scares me with how he can dribble a basketball and then sit on it like he’s some lifetime player. Put a soccer ball in front of his foot and he’ll kick it into any goal. He is ornery, but lucky for him his cuteness offsets that. We’re currently trying to keep him from unwrapping ALL the gifts under the tree.

Eva turned 4 this month and loves anything Barbie. She likes to play with babies, have her makeup done and nails painted, but she is also pretty tough! She can be found most days painting with watercolors and sneaking popsicles from the freezer. She fits in a ride on her little princess bike whenever she can.

            Callie turned 6 in February. She started a dance class in the spring and had a recital in June which Tutu got to come to. She recently switched to Upward Cheer and will cheer at her first basketball game in January. She is a little actress who can put together a fashionable outfit with anything that’s laying around, and likes Barbie, singing and dancing.

Michael turned 8 in April and is taking gymnastics with Joel. He’s had Henry the King Betta for about a year now. Speaking of fish, he and Joel got to go fishing twice this year with Aron and their Poppy. Michael got 1^st in Pinewood Derby for siblings again and 1^st in Raingutter Regatta! In the spring we got to go down by Kemper Arena for his Junior First Lego League competition, which was amazing (his team built a little mobility scooter). The boys are crazy for Pokemon cards right now!

Joel turned 10 in June and we keep him in playdates galore. Always the businessman, he shoveled driveways when the snow hit and sold lemonade all summer. He went to Cub Scout camp and was top seller of popcorn in his pack, along with winning 2^nd place in Pinewood Derby again and 3^rd in Raingutter Regatta! He still has Daisy the Hamster and now also Herman the Hermit Crab. He likes to volunteer at Harvester’s with Grandpa Mac, and a couple of weeks ago he built the World’s Biggest Leaf Pile with his dad and siblings (I helped!).

I turned 40 in June and Aron had a big party for me with Mexican catered food, a DJ, moonwalk, Adirondack chairs and a rented red Mustang convertible! I started Bible study at Holy Trinity (the 3 oldest kids go to Catechesis of the Good Shepherd at the same time), and otherwise I’m just sitting around the house homeschooling, stripping wallpaper, being involved in Scouts, blogging, writing (for 93 magazines!) and (as Sam gets older) I’m even getting my photos organized so I can start scrapbooking again. I’ve always been pretty lazy like that.

            Aron turned 45 in November without a party L However, I did rent him a red convertible Camaro for a week, and we had fun! He’s had to go to Phoenix some this year for work, but thanks to Jordan we’ve been able to go on a few dates this year! He’s still a Cub Scout Den Leader, Religious Ed teacher (Joel, Michael and Callie go to class) and awesome dad and husband. We’ve been together for 16 years now, and I don’t know how he puts up with me!

This year found us going on tons of outings: to the pool, the zoo, nature centers, farmsteads, museums, parks, pet stores, seeing friends and family and more. To keep up with us, check out TheKerrieShow.com, where I regularly post photos and other fun family information (and inflammatory opinions!).

Here’s hoping 2012 is even better than this year for everyone. Take care of yourselves and of each other ©

Love from Aron, Kerrie, Joel, Michael, Callie, Eva and Sam McLoughlin

I Got a Whipped Cream Pie in the Face

Well, it's about time. I know a lot of people have been dying to pie me in the face for a very long time. Last night my son Joel got to do it. Here's how it happened:

Joel wins a $40 WalMart.com gift card and Zyclone gun for being top popcorn seller in the pack

Then Joel got his sweet Top Seller prize: a Thermarest bedroll, which will keep his tootsies warm on winter campouts

The 5 top sellers got to pick a den leader to give a whipped cream pie in the face. I had told Joel earlier that he could do me if he absolutely was dying to.

Yep, the boy got me good. Shoulda smeared it my hair better, though!

Yum!

For Kids and People Who Hate Math: Life of Fred

Actually, this book rec is for kids who LOVE math, who HATE math, who TEACH math, and even for ADULTS who loved or hated math. This rec is also for parents who are struggling through math homework with their kids or who need a fun math supplement.*

I have found the most awesome book for teaching math to kids. I know, I know, you are saying, "Kerrie, put this crap on your homeschooling mommybot blog, girl. I don't give a flying fig about how you teach math to your little hellion children."

WAIT! Listen up! Because this series is so funny that my kids BEG their dad and I to read it to them at bedtime. My husband thinks this will never work because they aren't doing "drill and kill" math (you remember, the endless worksheets doing stuff you either hadn't a clue how to do or else knew after the first 2 problems!!!). It's now up to me to prove to Aron that the kids CAN learn math this way, and MORE! Oh, and just because you don't have worksheets, you still have "problems" (he calls is "Your Turn to Play" at the end of each short chapter and the answers are on the other side of the page), and they range from simple to logical to things to draw to funny.

This set of books is called "Life of Fred" and starts with the elementary series. The first book is called Apples, then there's Butterflies and they go in alphabetical order. The books go all the way up to teaching CALCULUS, for gosh sake! They are so great because they tell the goofy story of a "kid" named Fred, who is 5 years old and a university teacher. Sometimes there is an Intermission for adult readers only, like:

"I am going to put this in tiny type so that kids won't read it [Kerrie says, so of COURSE they are going to think it is forbidden and will read it!!!!!! Genius!]. Some kids will be dying to know how to draw a circle inside of any old triangle. Since I'm not telling them how to do it, they may ask you. I'll pass the secret on to you, so that you can appear really smart."

*They are hilarious
*They are set in Kansas
*They sneak in learning (geometry for 1st graders? who knew?). What other 6-year-old on the block knows who Archimedes is?????
*They sneak in God (sets of 10 include toes, fingers, Commandments)
*They teach logic because sometimes the stories are so messed up and silly ... how is a 5-year-old a college teacher? How come his doll can draw like an artist? Where did Fred's common sense go?
*They make me excited to learn math. I HATED math in school. My teachers blew through stuff and I was lost. ONE year I had a great teacher for Geometry in high school and the entire class got As because she waited until everybody understood.

*I'm not getting any money or books in exchange for writing this post. I just stumbled upon something great thanks to my awesome Facebook homeschool group, and wanted to share because I like to laugh and I like to see my kids learn without crying or their eyes glazing over! I bought the first book online for $16 and am borrowing the rest from friends until I can buy the whole series.

BIG Announcement ... Come to the Blog

Gotcha! Sorry about that. You probably think I'm pregnant, but no, I do not currently have anyone residing in my womb. I just wanted to tease you a little bit. To reward you for your obedience, I will share something personal about myself that I recently learned (and you also get to see a picture of my kids loafing around from last summer):

I don't wash my hands after a poopie diaper change because I am worried about germs. I wash them because I don't want my hands to smell like poop.

Have a great week ... our tree is up, presents are being wrapped, photo cards are being picked up today, my new mommy business cards are in, and the Christmas letter is in the works (not really; I'm procrastinating that one).

Pokemon Cake, Barbie/Cookie Monster Cupcakes

Here are the promised photos of Eva's Pikachu Pokemon cake and her doll and Cookie Monster cupcakes. They were made by my friend's 12-year-old homeschooled daughter (A&A's Custom Cakes), and you can find her on Facebook by clicking here. If you live in Kansas City, have her make you a cake or cupcakes! Peruse her online portfolio!

My First Mammogram. I'll Treasure It Always.

Welcome to 40, ladies! Yesterday I got to go for my very first mammogram. Then I couldn't shut up about it, so I'd like to apologize to all the moms, dads, kids and babies I told about my mammogram yesterday at the homeschool Christmas party. That was probably uncalled-for.

What IS called-for is for me to tell YOU about it. You are lucky because you can just delete the post. The poor people at the party had to give me an awkward smile and then try to meander away. Again, sorry.

It was all actually quite simple and fast and painless. It was also awkward as hell. Let me explain.

So I arrive on time and as I wait the 20 minutes for my little appointment I got an article edited ... whoppee! Productivity! Then I was led to a room where I got to strip from the waist up and put on a hospital gown (can't they make those things prettier?!), open in the front. Then I got to awkwardly stand in front of a woman in a room while she asked me all sorts of questions about live births and nursing and family history. I may as well have been on a stage.

Then the fun part began. She warned me that she would be flopping my boob (THUNK) onto the little machine thingie. I'd had women handle my boobs when I was learning to nurse, and my male doc does my breast exam every year (and every dang year I blush), but it was still weird.

So first my boob got SMEESHED up and down. Then side to side. Then we did it on the other side. It was quick and painless.

I went in with a smile, happy to have insurance and happy we have this sort of technology.

I did it for Giuliana Rancic and for my family. I'll do it again next year. It wasn't so bad.

McDonald's Sock Policy -- They Ran Out!!!

Okay, you will NOT believe this. You know how I wrote about McDonald's playland sock policy earlier this year? I was so freaking mad at the way I was treated by this one guy. I now know his name is George, because I had to see him the other day when we went for Eva's birthday. So we all get into the McDonald's (a treat for Eva's birthday) to eat and play. The kids start taking off their coats and shoes and it comes to my attention that Callie HAS ON NO SOCKS. I think I have some in the car but it's colder than a witch's you-know-what in a brass bra and I am NOT going outside. So I suck it up and BUY SOME SOCKS for one dollar.

When we get our food, Roberto tells us they are OUT OF SOCKS! Are you dying right now?! It's DECEMBER in KANSAS! They like to harrass people about wearing socks and THEY ARE OUT!

On a different note, I find it hard to dog out McDonald's too hard because one of my favorite people in the world works there and his name is Roberto. He's worked there for years and years and always gives my kids extra toys and takes my food into the playroom and gets us ketchup. So on Eva's birthday I had to snap a picture of, like, the BEST employee ever. I mean, the guy is amazingly bilingual and speaks Spanish with me so patiently every time I see him (which used to be a lot). This guy should be managing a huge company with his customer service skills, not working at McDonald's. I hope they pay him VERY well because he rocks. If you see him, tell him he's famous (ha!).

Do Moms Need a Break?

I don't know what I was thinking when I made this flippin' sign. Heard of WISHFUL THINKING?! I must have been having a hard day and put myself in a 2-minute time-out in my room to avoid blowing up at all the chaos that was happening.

Here's my question: doesn't everyone need a break? I mean, even regular working Joes get a smoke break if they need it. Recently Aron and I went on a date and talked about me getting out of the house more alone since Sam is getting older and stays at home well with Jordan or Aron. He thinks I need 2 hours to myself TWICE A WEEK.

Here's the thing: that sounds great. I don't LOVE being away from my kids, but I could sure use some UNINTERRUPTED time to scrapbook and to write articles. It would be cool to be productive AND to make some money to pay for my chocolate habit.

So why do I feel guilty when I leave the house and have a lovely, recharging time? This is such a cliche by now, but I truly do feel like a better mom when I get some time away from my kids. I guess it was always easier to find my sanity at home when I wasn't homeschooling, when I wasn't trying to write for money, when I wasn't caring for 5 human beings, when those precious human beings didn't talk so much, when they weren't in so many activities!

I know taking care of a baby is physically hard. Taking care of a child as he grows up is the hardest thing you will ever do emotionally, spiritually and more. A person needs to take a break when they are doing the most important job in the world.

How do you get your breaktime in?

Happy Birthday to Eva, Who is Fo

Eva is fo today. That means my kids are 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10. We like to keep things in the even digits around here. I don't have a photo for you right now because my flash drive is ????? and my cord to get pictures off my camera onto a computer is ????? but don't fear for my sanity, folks. I have a great day planned.

Stephen will love that I'm braving McDonald's today. Before you judge, let me just say they have Hello Kitty toys and Eva loves Hello Kitty. I don't think we've been inside McD's for months. We will be sure to wear socks and surgical gloves. Would someone please send me a petri dish/swabbing kit to take the next time I go?

Then we get to see my dad and stepmom, who are bringing over a gift for Miss Happy Little Naughty Eva. Then we load into the car like the hellions we are and go to a friend's house to play. Maybe I can do some 2007 scrapbooking if the kids play nice. We'll see.

Then we get a brief "downtime" ... then WHOOSH ... off to religious ed class and gymnastics. Religious ed is work for my oldest 3 and Aron, but the 2 littlest and I hang out in the nursery to play. Then on to gymnastics for more playing while we wait for the boys to be done gymnasticking.

I'll get some photos up soon ... a friend's homeschooled kid made some awesome cakes/cupcakes for Eva's Saturday at-home party. Plus I took a pic of Eva sleeping this morning that is precious.

Gotta go ... Eva is running around in her usual swimsuit as there is snow on the ground here. Usually we just throw a fancy dress on over her swimsuit and head out!

Sorry to beat you over the head with my articles, but I have to pimp this piece yet again, only because I think it's cool that it's in NOLA Baby & Child (New Orleans!).

We Are a Nation of Big Babies

*beware: I'm cranky today!

I swear I get my best blog post ideas (i.e., stuff to make fun of) from watching 2 seconds of The Today Show once a week. This morning this woman is talking about being the Mall Germ Patrol. First of all, she says restrooms are incredibly germy. I have known people who have done acrobatics to avoid touching door handles and sink handles and toilet seats, etc. I LOVE when I go to pee and someone before me has peed all over the freaking toilet in an effort to not have her tender little butt touch the seat.

First of all, unless you scratch your butt all the time, you probably won’t catch a cold from your ass touching the seat. Second of all, THANK YOU so much for leaving pee on the toilet for ME to either sit on or clean up. You are a real thoughtful jerkette!

THEN I find out that the faucet handle is nasty germy and that you should not touch it. Can I just say that I am a very healthy person compared to many people I know. AND I rarely wash my hands. I used to be mildly ashamed of the fact, but now I am coming out of the healthy closet. My kids are the same. We don’t “wash up before dinner” and if all we do is pee we don’t wash our hands after we use the bathroom. We are a very healthy family. We’d probably be sicker if we washed our hands in public restrooms more often.

Then this dumb woman says try not to touch the escalator handles!!!! And that if you have to, wear your mittens. I’m sure that will work well in California and Florida where they always carry mittens with them. Then of course do NOT touch your face with your mitten. If you have an itch, suffer through it. I just got an idea for a great invention: sanitary itching sticks. They come one to a package and you don’t have to touch anything unsanitary to itch your nose or eye!

Then I had to turn it off because I was griping too loud about us being a nation of big babies (only I didn’t use the word BABY; I used a word that starts with a P). Look, all I know is that most of us would not survive another Great Depression because we might die if we did not have our Purell clutched tightly to our bosom at all times.

LEGO Advent Calendar

Catholics take Advent very seriously. So does the LEGO Company.

Michael wants this so bad! But by the time he would get it for Christmas, Advent would be pretty much over. I got them these $1 chocolate Advent calendars at Aldi for a grand total of 5 bucks, and this LEGO one is like $30. I told God that if I get a writing check in the mail today for $30 or more I might just have to go get one because it looks like fun. We shall see.

I'll Take a Doggie Bag to Go

God Gives Me a Mommy Break ... and a Kleenex Person

I took this picture one day last week when Aron was out of town. Things can get pretty crazy around here, as I'm sure you can guess, but there came a point in our day when I realized the kids were QUIET and were ALL working happily at the dining room table. Of course I had to take a photo of this rarity and treasure the moment. This little creative session yielded this gem from Michael:

Personalized Christmas Ornaments ... Family Bed!!!

I got this at PersonalCreations.com and got 500 MyPoints as well! Remember I've told you about MyPoints before, so if you sign up there, puh-lease use me (mommykerrie) as the person who referred you because I get a few points for doing so. Anyway, I'm coming up on 10,000 points soon and that means $50 cash in my PayPal account (I am choosing that option over getting a few gift cards since we need money for Christmas instead).

But I digress like I am prone to do. I dig this ornament so much. I don't collect much stuff these days since we don't have the space and I am turning anti-accumulation. I get rid of a bag of crap about twice a month these days and hit the Half Price Books to sell movies and books about once a month. But this personalized thing is so special because all my babies are in the bed together! If I get pregnant again someday, I'll just order another ornament with Aron, myself and the new baby on it and hang the ornaments together.

Personalized stuff can be costly ($15) but if you don't get it very often it is so worth it and so special.

Playing in the Leaf Piles

When I pulled up in the driveway yesterday from taking 4 kids shopping at Aldi, Aron and Michael had raked a huge leaf pile for me to drive through! They were going to hide in it, but were afraid I might run them over. Good thinking, guys!

Yesterday Aron was off work since he's been traveling so much and didn't get to take last week off. So he focused on the leaf raking. It was one of those days where the temperature SAYS it's like 40 degrees, but the sun is out and there is no wind so it's warmish in a fall kind of way.

Later I took the kids to a park (not the school park since we'd probably be kicked out, right!), then when we got back Aron had another huge leaf pile. The kids did flips into it, rode bikes into it, swung into it and more. The kids getting out of school were in awe of our cool pile and many stopped to jump into it. As Aron is off again, today holds more raking fun ... in the backyard.

Today over at Homeschooling Mommybot I give my version of European "explorers" because the history books are making me fall asleep.

Have a great Tuesday!

Pokemon and Thomas the Train T-shirts

I love when kids hit that stage where they want to be BIG. When the start knowing what they like and hunting it down. For example, Sam is in love with trains (like most boys, I know). So I tracked down an old Thomas the Tank Engine t-shirt that the boys had when they were his age. His face lit up when he saw it and he put it right on, even though it's huge on him! Notice the STILL unfinished kitchen wall behind him. I've been slacking on that little project.

One day we were getting ready to go to Pokemon Club at the library and Sam tracked down this Pokemon t-shirt in his brothers' closet and put it on. It looks like a dress on him, but he didn't care because he knew he was dressed appropriately for the occasion. In case you're wondering where to get Pokemon t-shirts, I saw one at Target that was of the new black and white characters but they only had 2 left in a size medium. Have a great Monday! My hubs is off work for a few days, so I have nothing left to do but strip the rest of the dang kitchen wallpaper (yes, folks, THREE layers dating back as far as 1966).

Inappropriate Parenting Comments

Sometimes things come out of our mouths (or in our emails) that are totally inappropriate. Those are the moments I love because they make us real! Here are a few of the latest funnies:

1. A guy I know sent out an email titled "Pimpin' Girl Scout Cookies" ... PIMPIN' them!!!! I pictured him with a big, purple furry hat and platform shoes sending poor, defenseless boxes of cookies out into the world to make him money. No offense to pimps.

2. The Prader-Willi Syndrome Association sends out their fundraiser and the tagline is "still hungry for a cure." The reason this is funny is because one of the characteristics of P-W Syndrome is that a kid's brain tells the kid that it's hungry all the time so the kid want to eat constantly.

3. At Bible Study, I noticed a mom who had her kid in those pants that snap from foot to crotch. I said something about his cool STRIPPER PANTS. Then I was worried she would snub me, but she LAUGHED. 

Thank God for people with thick skin and a sense of humor!

A Starbuck's Carpet Picnic

When Aron's out of town, I like to do something special every now and then for/with the kids. Last week I surprised them by going to Starbuck's and spending a ton of money on stuff they always think looks good. We got peppermint brownie cake pops, red velvet whoopee pies, chocolate whoopee pies and ham/egg sandwiches. When we got to the window we got a free hot chocolate, which I split between the kids, adding some milk to make it seem like more. Then Joel made a fire (yes, his dad has taught him how to do it; he's better at it than I am because at least he knows to open the flue!). They put blankets on the floor and had a carpet picnic. It was awesome.

A-Z Quasi-Funny What I'm Thankful For

 I'm sure it will come as no big shock that I am thankful for my children and for my husband. I am also thankful for so many other things. Lemme do an ABC list for ya!

Aron, amazing, amorous spouse
Boobs with milk in them and industrial-strength BRAS
Callie, my baby girl, chocolate, Coke, coffee, Chapstick, Carmex, Camaros
Doing stuff
Eva, my baby girl
Friends (you know who you are)
God, going places
Homeschooling, Haters (they spur me on), our House
In-laws (yes, all of them)
Joel, my baby boy and Jordan, daughtersitter
Kicking ass and taking names
Love
Michael, my baby boy and Mustangs and my Mommyvan
Never having to work at a day job again (hopefully)
Opportunities
Power of prayer, parents and steppies who rock
Qualms, having none
Reading, Reever the little singer girl
Samuel, my baby boy and sarcasm
Teenagers, God bless 'em and their hormones! I remember!
Understanding
Vienna sausage
Writing
Xylophones and x-ray machines (what do you WANT me to say?)
YOU, for suffering through this post
Zoos ... any and all because I get to shirk my home responsibilities and play with my kids for the day

Add your own!

Loose Park in Kansas City, Missouri

A few weeks ago we grabbed my mom and headed to Loose Park in Kansas City, Missouri. So much history there! They have this gorgeous rose garden that is famous for it's many varieties of roses, some of which are very old.

isn't this the best tree for a kid to hang out on?!

The park is huge, even sporting a little lake with ducks!

To end the day right, we went to Baskin Robbins in Brookside for a boatload of ice cream courtesy of my mom, Tutu (Hawaiian for grandma, and no, she is not Hawaiian).

My Son the Altar Server

This is Joel on his first day being an altar server! There are two more kids who do it with him, but I had to crop them out because I didn't know if their parents would be okay with having them on this raunchy blog! Anyway ... I was so proud I CRIED when he walked in. I CRY when they walk in for their First Communion (so far only 2 kids of mine have done it) and I am sure I will BAWL LIKE A LITTLE BABY and go all fetal when they get married. It's just what I do. It's my thing, my schtick. I try to tell myself to knock it off, but when I see one of my kids doing something all MATURE that shows they are growing up, the waterworks start. I really should carry more Kleenex. Thankfully, Aron often carries a nice snotrag around (I mean, I handkerchief), because he's all old school like that. I was hoping that having MORE kids would safeguard me from some of these my-baby-is-leaving-me kind of emotions, but it's simply not true. Crap, now I'm getting all emotional just writing this post, so I gotta go. Have a great day! Savor every single one of them!

Firetrucks are Cool, a Guest Post by Sam

Okay, so a few weeks ago some dumb kid set the recycle Dumpster at the school park on fire ... again. I don't condone that sort of behavior, but I do like when the firetruck comes to put out the fire cuz then we get to walk over to the school park and watch the fire hose and talk to the firemen and GET FIREMAN HATS!

And then I like to wear my fire hat ALL THE TIME.

Even while I'm eating. I think I love firetrucks more than the average Sam because on the day I was born, I WAS READY TO BE BORN. I mean, let me out, already. So I got labor started around 7 a.m. and by 8:30 I had Mom all freaked out and stuttering to Dad, "Call 911" and Dad was all like, "Nah, really? You're fine." And she's like killing him with her eyes, trying to say that there ain't no way she's making it to the truck in the state I've got her in! So the AMBULANCE came and the FIRETRUCK! And I was almost born in the ambulance, but not quite. It was cool.

Gratitude Check

There are crappy times in the life of any mother, stay-at-home or not. I like to gripe as much as anyone about how I'd love to have a cook and a trainer and a cleaning lady and a personal secretary. I'd love to just homeschool and chill with the kids and chase them around and read and write and travel with my family and go on dates with my man and always dress fashionably and have great hair and makeup. So there's the Mommy Curse: to have these wonderful blessings and this great life, we have to deal with all the crap (sometimes literally) that goes along with it.

As we come up on Thanksgiving, I think we're called to really reflect on what we are grateful for, on our blessings. There are always two ways to look at things. Like, for example:

Sure, we are broke, but if we were rich we would probably turn into total JERKS like so many do.

Sure, your kids has autism or Down Syndrome or some other health concern, but at least he is ALIVE.

Sure, your marriage is in trouble, but there is always HOPE and HELP.

Sure, my husband travels for work, but that just means he has a JOB.

Sure, the house is always a mess, but at least we have a place to LIVE.

Sure, my car is dinged up and sometimes doesn't want to start, but at least we have a way to GO PLACES.

Accepting Help as a Mother

People, some days as a parent are just crazy, and you know I'm right because you've been there. Not EVERY day (thank God!), but some days are, as an example, like this:

1. Your husband leaves town for work on a Sunday night.
2. All the kids chase him up the street, waving to him until he's out of sight.
3. You have to stay on top of the baby lest he run into the street. You've birthed 5 babies and really have to remember to buy some adult diapers next time you go to the store since you seem to be running after the littlest one a lot lately.
4. The baby doesn't want to come home, so you pick him up and he gets pissy and knocks your prized Chanel glasses off your face and onto the concrete (I am SO not materialistic, so spending a fortune on glasses that make me look good and help me see AND carry my favorite designer's name was a big deal in my household budget).
5. You have to wrangle the baby all the way down the street, and your middle child skins her toe ... bad. Like blood everywhere bad. You can't pick her up and let the baby run ...
6. ... so a woman you JUST MET who has a dog on a leash offers to carry your bleeding child down the street to your house.

What a lifesaver. What a sweet woman. She got blood on her jeans. I love her.

**As we were cleaning up the toe, Joel came in with a bag of Scout popcorn with a hole in it. He said a critter had been chewing on it in the garage. There goes a $16 bag of popcorn that we will have to pay for AND replace with a fresh back from headquarters. Thank goodness for blogging ... what a great outlet. And for you, well, at least you can say your day was probably better than mine last Sunday :-)

During stressful times, I like to remember happier days, like when we went to Boo at the Zoo a few weeks ago and rode the train. It was a gorgeous day, and we were all together.

Milwaukee's Controversial Cosleeping Ad Campaign Is Ridiculous

Wow. I saw this when I flipped to The Today Show for 2 seconds yesterday. I was immediately pissed. Let me get this straight. I can walk into any clinic today and get an abortion with no problem at all, yet I am made to feel like the world's worst parent for sleeping and snuggling and attending to my baby's needs all night long, also getting more sleep for myself in the process, which makes me a better parent during the day?

I'm not advocating for cosleeping for EVERYONE. Some kids are kickers so the parents need their own space. Some parents need their kid to sleep in a crib for the sake of the marriage. Some parents just completely disagree with cosleeping. That's all fine.

 (*duh disclaimer: of course I don't want you sleeping with your kid if you're drinking or drugging or doing anything totally MORONIC like that!)

It's your CHOICE, just like abortion, right? Just like your choice to beat your kid or leave your tiny baby for a week at a time for a nice vacation. I'm just saying there are so many worse things people do to their kids than cosleeping! Cosleeping has been done around the world since the beginning of time. Americans are the ones who are checked out and detached and pushing down their instincts and emotions with alcohol, drugs (prescription and otherwise), cigarettes, food, and more!

I am biased. I have slept with all FIVE of my children at one time or another since June 2001 when my first son was born. I had the $500 crib and it never got used. Now my sons sleep without me, as does my oldest daughter. Some nights my 3-year-old even snuggled up with her sister instead of with me. Sam sleeps comfortably with Aron and I every night.

We had lots of different reasons for living life this way, and it has always worked out for us. It's a good decision FOR US. Don't shame us for making a parenting decision that is our right to make and likening it to letting our baby have a butcher knife!

I won't go into detail about my other kids, but Sam was in the NICU after birth for a week. You bet your ass I wasn't putting him in a crib without me. I missed him for that week and needed to bond with him. I needed to be with him trying to nurse because I had an infection and didn't have any milk yet. He had some breathing issues and it turned out to be perfect that he was next to me every night ... I was able to help him immediately when he needed help.

By the way, SIDS, anyone? I mean, let's get the stats on SIDS deaths (in a crib) versus cosleeping deaths. I'm betting most cosleeping deaths were also a simple case of SIDS, but because the parents were cosleeping, they are stupid murderers? Ridiculous. Let me go fetch those stats now ...

What Are Your Thanksgiving 2011 Plans?

So what are you doing for Thanksgiving this year?

We've always done this complicated every-third-year thing since my parents divorced and I got married at roughly the same time (ironic, no?). One year with my dad's family, one year with mom's family and one year on our own, which means we try to have Aron's family over.

Lately the "plan" has been getting blown up for different reasons, so this year we're on our own and decided that instead of cleaning the house like we're on crack and then cooking ALL DAY LONG (well, mostly Aron cooks all day long because he makes such cool stuff), we are going to ....

... hang with my mom's family. It's a long drive, but it's SO WORTH IT! All I have to do is make a buttload of mashed potatoes, throw 'em in the car, toss in a few kids and we're off. I might even wear sweats all day. Well, the homeschooling mommybot version of sweats, which is more like a light exercise pant that doesn't have elastic around the ankles. Oh, and Grandma has woods behind her house where we go on little "hikes" to a "stream" ... it's awesome! Instead of fretting all day, I might get to do some scrapbooking while chatting with my family :)

Saying No: Answering the Phone and the Door

I'm often hard to get by phone. That doesn't mean I'm not home.

It means maybe I'm changing a diaper or handling a tantrum or have my hand up a chicken (OMG, who saw Adrienne Maloof on the Housewives wash a chicken with actual HAND SOAP?!) or am outside or in a foul mood and have no business talking to ANYONE.

Same for answering the door. I felt so badly about this, but I saw the candy salesman teenager guy get out of the minivan in front of my house to start selling on my block. It was days after Halloween, I didn't need a $5 candy bar, and I was tapped financially from Girl Scout cookies and Scout popcorn and raffle tickets (I want that Kindle!!!).

I saw him coming. My shades were open and my baby stood in the window. When the doorbell rang, the kids were not quiet. They were loud and I told them to please not answer the door. I told them just because someone comes to your house, you don't have to answer the door (unless they were invited; I'm not THAT mean!).

How do you handle those interruptions during the day?

Saying No: Career Conflict

Nobody is forcing me to write but me.

I do have one weekly assignment, which is great. But when I push myself to write every idea I ever had, I am putting more pressure on myself that doesn't need to be there. The money is nice to have and sometimes necessary, but I could just as easily scale back on some things (like Taco Bueno and Starbuck's!) and instead spend writing time just sitting around watching my kids grow. Isn't that what I'm home for?

I'm challenging myself to do my writing research in the mornings before the kids wake up (or when I can't sleep in the night). Then I will write the bones of my pieces while Sam naps on me and the kids watch their educational shows or play together. I will set reasonable goals. My family must come first because homeschooling is my first job, and I don't get a redo on that one.

Saying No: Too Many Meetings

I am wondering why both my husband and I have to be at a Cub Scout committee meeting. Oh, because I'm a control freak, that's why, and I'm being serious here. Because I want the best for our pack and I nobody else is competent enough to keep it going. That's just crazy. I'll attend when he can't (it's at my house, after all), but I'm thinking I'll skip the next one and instead take my kids to an indoor play area instead of spending an hour shushing them.

Saying No: Playdates When I'm Not Up to It

We all gripe about being busy. It's better than being bored, of course. But if we are so dang busy, why can't we say NO sometimes?

I give myself permission to sometimes say NO to a playdate if I am not feeling "up to it." "Up to it" means if I am not totally ready to be a pleasant and loving hostess. No, the kids aren't coming to play with ME, but sometimes I feel like I have to say yes because my son says he's bored or whatever. Then I feel pressured, which puts me in a foul mood, but I am the one who let it happen! I want to be in a June Cleaver frame of mind when my kids' friends come over. Just kidding, but you know what I mean!

Teaching Kids Responsiblity: Joel Makes Dinner

 joel and jordan

our dining room, where we have dinner AND homeschool sometimes

Lately Sam has been running All. Day. Long. Since I hold him when he naps, I have to be creative when I plan for dinner. Sometimes it’s something I can make in the morning or at lunchtime and get out of the way. But sometimes it’s something that has to be made later.

So the other night Sam decided to crash around 5 p.m. I had laid out all the dinner stuff on the counter and had even put some brats on a cookie sheet with BBQ sauce on them in the oven. No, I didn’t put the kids in the oven; this isn’t Hansel and Gretel (they were bratwursts, as I’m sure you can figure out). As it got closer to time for Aron to get home I decided instead of throwing Sam over my shoulder to make dinner I would give Joel a little challenge.

I wrote up instructions for the 3 parts of dinner and let him go to town. He had to turn on the oven and set it to a certain temperature. He had to boil some water and cook frozen peas. He had to boil water and margarine and make stuffing. There was measuring involved and checking things.

He did so great! Everything was awesome, and he was proud of himself for doing it. The other kids asked who made dinner since Mommy was on the couch holding the baby, and Joel was able to say that HE DID IT!

Sometimes it’s hard for us parents to give up control over things like cooking or cleaning, but our kids WANT to help out. Besides, how else will they learn how to be on their own if we do everything for them? I’m hoping to raise my kids like my husband was raised … the guy could take care of himself quite well when I met him. In fact, he can cook better than I can and can even sew some.

Now. I gotta go because Eva has decided to wake up at 6:15 for some reason.