4 Ways To Build Self-Esteem That Lasts

 

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Nobody wakes up in the morning and thinks, "I'm going to hate myself today." Everyone has the intention of loving themselves because a high level of self-esteem is an incredibly powerful thing. Whether it's bouncing back quickly from defeats or not allowing rejection to ruin your day, you're bound to be happier and more content if you love yourself.

However, it's not as simple as clicking your fingers and eliminating the tension. Anxiety doesn't work like that as, if it did, there would be no such thing in the first place. The key is to build up your confidence so that knocks, no matter how big or small, don't have a lasting impact, but also so that you don't love yourself to the point that you become a narcissist.

If it appears like a tough balance to strike, it isn't as long as you understand the basics, four of which you can find underneath.

Focus On Your Strong Points

To begin with, it's vital to concentrate on your strengths rather than focusing on your weaknesses. Everybody has weak points, yet your lack of self-esteem magnifies them, and they transform into huge negatives. Thankfully, the way to forget about your weaknesses is to dive headfirst into your strengths.

Please don't assume that you don't have any because everyone has talents - you need to figure out what they are. Once you realize that you're a skillful cook, for instance, you can decide to prepare meals more often, finishing with a dinner party. When it goes well, you'll start to see your real value. The same goes for everything from sports to crossword puzzles.

Whatever it is, do more of it to enhance your skills and reinforce the fact that you do have strong points that you can fall back on when the negative thoughts creep into your mind.

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Lean On Technology

Often, it is a habit or a feature that makes your confidence plummet. Physical and mental attributes are debilitating as they make you feel as if you're not normal. The worst thing is that it can be something as basic as having poor hearing. When you can't hear properly, you'll always fret about trying to be involved in the conversation.

Sure, hearing aids help, but it's not as if they are discrete. Well, they weren't, but technological advancements mean that software and hardware are ten times more subtle. As a result, you can rely on invisible hearing aids to help you keep your secret while enhancing your lifestyle. This is pretty much the case for a host of defects that can play on your mind, so there's no reason to suffer in silence.

Right now, invisible braces are among the most common forms of orthodontic devices for this very reason.

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Accept Compliments

A telltale sign that your esteem is at an all-time low is when you can't accept a compliment. Unfortunately, the negative thoughts are ingrained in your brain so much that you can't compute them, which forces you to reject them entirely. Even worse, you need positive comments more than ever when you're struggling because they help you to see the light.

Therefore, it's essential not to resist them, even if they make you uncomfortable. All it takes is a simple "thank you." With an everyday phrase such as this, you won't automatically shut down the person providing a compliment, and in time, you'll learn to accept them more. As well as expressing your gratitude, you can defer to other people and share the credit.

"I got it from my mama" is more than a will.i.am song!

Address The Triggers

You shouldn't expect to go through life without experiencing rejection as it's a common feature for everybody, regardless of success. However, rejection makes you feel bad about yourself, so what are you supposed to do when it rears its ugly head? The answer is to reaffirm your value once it has taken a hit.

For example, rather than focusing on the reasons why you didn't get your dream job, you should write down the attributes that make you a valuable employee. That way, you'll have the confidence to continue applying for roles and putting yourself in a position to be successful. You'll appreciate the way this tactic makes you feel inside, especially after you've suffered a blow.

Again, you can do it for a variety of issues. If you go through a breakup, for instance, you can jot down the features that make you a great life partner. 

It's hard work, but feeling good about yourself is worth the effort.

Helping Your Family Survive The Common Cold

 Let’s be honest, when you become a parent, feeling under the weather is not how it used to be. Gone are the days where you can call in sick from the day job, snuggle up on the sofa, box of tissues, energy drinks and your favorite TV show to help you ease yourself back to health. No! These days there is no sign of a day off and sometimes even the common cold can make you feel like you have been run over by a big truck. However, because we have no choice but to carry on instead of nursing ourselves back to health. Right now we are more conscious than ever of flu like symptoms because of COVID-19 and we need to do all that we can to keep ourselves feeling well or nurse ourselves back to health should we have to self-isolate because the symptoms are so similar. With that in mind, here are some of the ways that you can survive the symptoms of a common cold, and hopefully fight whatever virus it may be. 

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Informing doctors 

Most of the time you would inform your doctor if you were ill, but with covid-19 it is important to stay at home or try and get tested for that virus. If it isn’t covid, then you can look at finding some over the counter treatments for your symptoms. If you have young children, getting them registered with a pediatrician is important so that you have that contact should temperatures rise or symptoms get worse. 

That raging headache

There is nothing worse than needing to take care of loud and energetic children when you have a headache brought on by a cold. It seems to center in your forehead and pound like it has it’s own heartbeat. It certainly isn't pleasant. Of course, taking painkillers can help but often placing a cold compress on your forehead can ease the pain. 

The nose that won’t stop running

A streaming nose is never attractive, but a sure fire symptom of the common cold. Keeping issues to had will be vital to making sure you keep it in check. Of course, it’s not always easy, but often sinus medication can help to dry out your nose. That or a menthol rub on your chest or droplets on your clothes can help you ease the tension. 

The blocked up ears making everything sound fuzzy

Block up ears can make everything sound fuzzy and quiet, and while that may be ideal to nurse some of the other symptoms you will be feeling, it’s not ideal when taking care of children or the family. Often this is another area causing a sinus blockage, and can be connected with your head and your nose. 

The aching bones and muscles

Feeling tired and having aching muscles is not the best feeling especially with energetic children. But keeping active can often help you rather than hinder your chances of feeling better. Too often sitting down can make us feel worse, so it may be worth getting out and about and keeping your body moving. 

The fluctuating temperature

Finally, controlling your temperature when you have a cold is not easy, so the best advice is to wear layers, enabling you to get warm or cool down as and when needed. It’s rather tempting to climb back under the duvet, but with a family to look after often this just isn’t possible. Try and maintain the same heat in your home and regulate your body temperature yourself. Water can also help with this. 

Let’s hope this helps you recover quickly. 

4 Things You Must Do If Your Car Insurer Won't Pay Out

 

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A silver lining of the Coronavirus pandemic has been that there have been fewer cars on the roads. As a result, there aren’t as many accidents, which means more motorists, cyclists, and pedestrians aren’t in undue danger.

However, the restrictions ease, the odds of being involved in an incident increase ten-fold. When another driver hits your vehicle, you rely on your insurance company to pick up the slack. Sadly, 18% of all insurance complaints are a result of a lack of cooperation from insurers.

So, what are you supposed to do if your claim is rejected and you’re left in the lurch?

Ask For A Detailed Explanation

Policy providers are skilled at using platitudes to pass off their decision-making process. Don’t let them do it because they’ll bury your application so that it never sees the light of day. As soon as an insurer says that they can’t payout, your first move should be to demand a thorough explanation. Not only do you want them to highlight the main reasons for the rejection, but you need it in writing too. That way, you have a codified copy that you can refer to should you have to take it further.

Reference Your Records

Your records can take various forms. For example, if you use a dashboard camera, that will be the critical evidence in any correspondence as it clearly shows you weren’t at fault. However, video footage isn’t the only type of information that you might need to present. A detailed history of your vehicle, from years of maintenance work to receipts for purchases, will be essential. Sometimes, an insurer might say that your plan is void because of unofficial products and services. In that case, proof of purchase should eliminate any suspicions and make the company change its mind.

Don’t Repair Your Vehicle

Photographic and video evidence of your car is essential, so please capture as much footage as possible. Still, the last thing you should do is fix your vehicle before the process has run its course. Unless an official from the insurance company analyzes the damage, there’s no way for the insurer to gauge what happened and who’s at fault. Plus, even a vehicle that appears totaled will get quick cash for junk cars and scrap metal if you use a junk removal firm. It might not be the money you thought you would get, but a little cash is better than none whatsoever.

Be Persistent

Insurance providers work slowly. Therefore, you won’t secure a quick solution. If anything, you’ll need to wait for a couple of months before you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong. Too many applicants file, receive a rejection letter and decide it’s not worth the hassle. Of course, it depends on your circumstances, yet most people can’t afford a new vehicle without a payout, not to mention the increase in their premiums.

Being persistent will clear your record so that you obtain the necessary fund to repair or replace your car. That’s how insurance should work.

How To Overcome A Fear Of The Dentist

 You know that going to the dentist is very important for your health, but it doesn’t stop you feeling scared and nervous before you go. It’s common to feel a little nervous before a trip to the dentist, but it isn’t normal, or healthy, to be so afraid that it stops you from going. Serious anxiety about the dentist prevents a lot of people from taking proper care of their teeth. Skipping the dentist can cause dental pain, lost teeth, gum disease, and more serious infections. But what causes this fear and what can you do to overcome it?

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The Cause

Some people are so afraid that they avoid the dentist altogether, whereas will put it off unless absolutely necessary. 

For many people, a bad experience with a dentist is the root cause of fear. For others, a fear of dentists is a side effect of separate issues, such as mood or anxiety disorders, substance abuse, posttraumatic stress, and other conditions. 

Being afraid of going to the dentist usually doesn’t stem much from experiencing pain, but more from feeling out of control while in the dentist’s chair. You’re lying in a prone position with a dentist leaning over you, unable to really talk or respond. This creates a sense of anxiety because you don’t feel in control of the situation. 

Sometimes, fear is accidentally created by the dentist themself. Some dentists assume all patients have similar pain thresholds and will handle all dental procedures in the same way. If these dentists were more careful with pain control and made sure their patients were comfortable, there would probably be fewer people scared of the dentist. 

Treating Fear Of Dentists

Some dentists specialize in treating fearful patients, so you can look for one of those. These dentists are extra careful to make their office a nonthreatening environment. This might mean designing offices that don’t look much like dental surgeries, using soothing photography or music, and not displaying standard dental care posters. Sometimes the dentist themselves will favour more casual clothing instead of scrubs. The sights, sounds, and smells of a typical dental surgery can be scary, so removing those triggers can help immensely. Look for a dentist who understands and who makes you feel in control. The ideal dentist for a scared patient will:

• Gently and clearly explain what the patient will feel, and for how long

• Frequently ask the patient for their permission to continue

• Give the patient the opportunity to stop the procedure at any time the patient feels uncomfortable and will arrange a cue to signal this request

• Make time for breaks, if needed

If you’re looking for a new dentist, be honest about your fear from the beginning and see how they respond. Just because a dentist claims to be good with fearful patients, it doesn’t mean they are. Ask to speak to the dentist before you go in for your first appointment. If the receptionist is dismissive of this request, or the dentist never calls you back, then it isn’t the right place for you. 

No matter how worried you are, it’s likely that the dentist won’t be as painful as you’re scared it will be. When surveyed before and after major procedures like root canals or wisdom tooth extraction, most patients report anticipating a lot more pain than they actually experienced. 

Despite knowing this, you might still be afraid of going into the dentist’s chairs. If this is the case, there are some tricks that you can try to help you relax. 

• Ask someone you trust to come with you for the first visit to a new dentist. This should be someone who has no fear of the dentist. Ask if this friend can sit with you during your treatment. 

• Look for distractions while you’re in the dentist’s chair. Take headphones and listen to music or an audiobook. Find a dentist who has a TV for patients to watch in the chair. 

• Try relaxation techniques. Controlled breathing can work well. Take a deep breath, hold it in, then let it out very slowly. This slows your heartbeat and relaxes your muscles. You could also try progressive muscle relaxation, which is when you tense and relax different muscle groups in succession. 

• Ask your dentist about sedation. There may be sedatives that are available and appropriate for you, such as local anaesthetic, nitrous oxide (known as laughing gas), oral sedatives, and intravenous sedation. Oversedation can be dangerous, but if you need a procedure and really can’t face it, it can help. 

• See the dentist at a less busy time, such as during the morning. There will be fewer people, so less noise of dental tools from other rooms. Your dentist is also more likely to have more time to put you at ease and let you take breaks than they will later in the day, when they may be running behind on their appointments. The later you go in the day, the more time you have to let your worries build up too. 

• If you’re really struggling to force yourself to visit the dentist, then see a psychologist. Treating a dentist phobia is much like other phobias, and is often helped by direct therapeutic exposure. This means you will be introduced to feared items, such as dental tools, in a controlled, gradual, non-threatening manner. 

Like many other worries, it can also be very effective to talk about how you feel with someone who understands. There are support forums online for those who fear the dentist where you can speak to like-minded people. Make sure you use this as a resource to get support and suggestions for coping, not to frighten yourself more with other people’s dental horror stories and fears. 

You can also try anti-anxiety medications. This won’t treat your fear of the dentist but can help you to cope with your fear long enough to get through an appointment. It can also ease physical symptoms of fear, like high blood pressure. If you do decide to try medication, make sure you tell your dentist at the start of your appointment, in case they need to give you something which will interact with your medication. 

Fear Or Phobia

Fears and phobias are often talked about interchangeably, but they are actually very different things. 

Fear is a strong dislike that causes avoidance, but you usually don’t think about it until the fear actually presents itself. A phobia is a much stronger form of fear. Phobias are a kind of anxiety disorder and will cause extreme distress and avoidance, and can interfere with your daily life. 

A phobia is also often something that will not cause you any harm in reality, but you can’t help thinking that it will. 

A fear of the dentist could mean you dislike going and put it off until you really have too. You might dislike the feel or the sound of the instruments, but you go when you need to. 

Dentophobia can cause you to feel such an extreme fear that you avoid going to the dentist at all. Just the thought of the dentist is enough to trigger anxiety. You might even nightmares and panic attacks. 

The causes and treatments of a fear of the dentist and dentophobia can be very similar. However, it is likely that a legitimate phobia of the dentist will take more time and more work to learn to cope with, so you will need to be prepared to put the work in for the sake of your oral health.  

Just Because You've Got Them, Doesn't Mean The Effort Should Stop

 Sometimes people face issues in marriage because one or both parties seem to be under the impression that because you have the person, there is no longer any need for a large amount of effort. This is simply untrue, and all that will happen here is that you’re going to drive your significant other away because they won’t feel loved by you anymore. Whether this is the case or not doesn’t matter because, without the effort, there isn’t going to be much there. That’s why you’ve got to make sure that you don’t ease up on this just because you are married. In this article, we’re going to be looking at some of the small things that you can do that really make an effort and show the one you love how you feel. Keep reading if you want to find out more.

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Flirt With Them

The first thing that we are going to look at is flirting with them. Remember at the beginning of the relationship when you would flirt all the time? You would send each other cute little messages, you would always want to be around each other, making cute little faces and so on. These are the kind of things that you shouldn’t stop doing just because you’re married. Don’t take the fun out of being with someone, remember what a good time you had in the beginning. This doesn’t have to stop just because you’ve now decided to spend the rest of your life with them. If anything, that should make things even more fun for you.

It’s a little thing like this that can mean a lot to a person. Leave them cute little notes to let them know you’re thinking about them when they’re not around. Just the simple things are good enough like ‘Have a good day’ or something. Write what’s on your mind, and that’s just one example of something you could try.

Buy Them Little Gifts

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The next thing that we are going to suggest is that you buy them little gifts here and there. We know that money can be tight, but even looking at plants online that you can purchase just to say that you love someone is a gesture they’re not going to forget in a hurry. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift to be meaningful, and that is the end goal here. You want them to know that you were thinking of them and that you saw whatever you decided to purchase and thought of them. They’re going to love whatever gift you get simply because you took the initiative to do so!

Let Them Know You Love Them

Sometimes, all the other person needs is to hear that you love them. This is enough. It can be tough when you’re married because there are so many responsibilities that get in the way but make sure you’re making time to show your love. There is nothing wrong with saying I love you to the person you’re married to, and you can never say it too much. Trust us, nobody is ever going to ask you to stop telling them how much you love them. It’s just a little bit of reassurance on their part and effort on yours.

They will likely do the same thing back if you keep it up. Don’t let the romance or the feelings die just because you are committed to each other, take it back to when you were first together and couldn’t get enough of saying those three little words.

Stay Faithful

The final thing that we’re going to look at is staying faithful. The longer you are with someone, some people start to get curious about what else is out there. If you are unhappy with your spouse, talk to them about it, or leave the relationship, don’t cheat. It’s never a nice thing to be cheated on, and it’s completely unnecessary seeing as nobody is forcing you to stay in a relationship where you are so unhappy. Think of all the times that you have had together, and what you could be throwing away for something that likely isn’t going to be what you think it is. Talk it out, stay faithful until the end.

We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now understand that just because you got the person you want to spend your life with, doesn’t mean this is where the effort should stop. Take this advice, and your partner is going to be happier than ever before. Good luck!