The Attachment Parenting Debate: Mom of Five Weighs In

This picture was taken 2 years ago, and since then I've gotten a lot of new blog readers who may not know exactly what I'm about. Well, I'm about THIS. I'm about attachment parenting. I fell into it accidentally because my husband and I are big babies who couldn't stand to hear our son cry it out in his crib and just wanted some dang sleep. (no judgments from me if you did things differently; you leave my parenting alone and I will leave yours alone)

Okay, so I just wanted some dang sleep. And nursing Joel in bed helped with that a lot (well, after the first month, anyway ... that first month was hell ... getting up every two hours to nurse for an hour while I tried not to fall asleep sitting up). So we kept it up and 5 kids later we are still going strong. Only two kids in the bed now, though, with one who sometimes even leaves!

I love this picture because there's a photo of me off to the left watching over them. Since they are all 3 in the queen bed (Joel and Callie must have already been awake), I can only assume Aron was out of town.

So if you are doing this and feel bad about it or people are giving you crap about it, it's okay! Time will prove that you did your parenting the way you saw fit and that it all worked out. The day my oldest son was born (tomorrow, 11 years ago!), I prayed fervently to God that He would make me the kind of mother HE wanted me to be. Not the kind someone else wanted me to be or the mom society thought I should be. The kind of mother that a Higher Power wanted me to be, knew I could be.

Other forms of parenting work for other people. This one has worked well for us. It's not a parenting competition, trust me. None of that crap matters. It's about the kind of parent you are supposed to be. We are all different people, extremely different sometimes. Why would we all parent the exact same way based on a book or a fad or a TV show or advice from whoever?

Update: I posted this longer version of our attachment-parenting lifestyle here on the blog many years later. It's now mid-2021, and the kids are 11, 13, 16, 18, and 20. Four teenagers who are an actual pleasure to parent, as well as an energetic 11-year-old. I credit attachment parenting!

Is It Okay to Leave Your Kid(s) In the Car???

When I was a kid and too young to stay home alone, I would go along with my parents on errands. Sometimes I would stay in the car, either because it was just easier for my parents or because I preferred to sit in the car and read or listen to music. It never crossed my mind to attempt to drive away. It never crossed my mind that someone might get into the car, hotwire it and then drive us both away, resulting in a carjacking and a kidnapping all in one.

I'm an only child, so it's not like my parents were just too lazy to drag all their kids inside. I wasn't sick or sleeping. I just stayed in the car. It's how things were done, and it was not a big deal. And it wasn't so long ago, even though my kids think I ran with the dinosaurs.

I know so many parents who do this these days, including myself. They are not gone long, they usually park up close to where they are going inside, they didn't know until now that there was even a law about this. One mom went to jail over this in another state. I of course have to include this link about Jake's Law, which is partly why we are all so freaked out. 

Remember my opinions are ILL-FORMED, people, but you know those people who drive their kid to daycare? Oops, I mean, who were supposed to take their kid to daycare and instead drive to work and the kid sits in the car all day and dies? They are not in jail. And I wonder about the people they work with ... I mean, the cops come in seconds flat in a grocery store parking lot, but you often have hundreds of employees walking by a car or looking out their window, and nobody sees that there is a kid asleep in a car, dying or maybe even screaming and crying, over the course of a DAY? Are we paying attention to the wrong things?

Click HERE to go to my pal's blog post about what happened to her, called "Is Leaving Your Kids in the Car a Right?". Check out the part where the cops think it's fine (and there is no law) for kids to watch kids AT HOME for hours but not in a CAR for 5 minutes.


I think if a citizen is that concerned, they could have gone in the store and had a page done or waited by the car for the parent to come back and then let them know it wasn't cool or whatever. But we are all too busy to get to know an entire person or situation and jump to horrible conclusions about parents, especially. It's making me think twice about things I think are "wrong" ... I'm happy to call the cops but not talk to the person directly or handle it another way?


I'm not saying this is right or wrong or good or bad. I am saying I sure as hell won't be doing it anymore now that I know the deal. I still don't feel comfortable leaving them at home, which according to the law is okay since there is no age limit for THAT, so  I will carefully plan my errands and make sure all of my kids understand they will be going inside with me everywhere we go. Joel will be 11 on Sunday, so in the city where I live he can stay in the car by himself. However, we live and drive in a huge metropolitan area, and the laws are different in every single city. I'd better educate myself on those laws. You should, too.

Freaking Frugal Friday: Living Simply With Children: Clothing

We are in massive Garage Sale Mode. We came home from living 5 weeks on the bare minimum clothing-wise and entertainment-wise and found that there is so much we can do without. Just because we have a 1500-square-foot home does not mean we have to FILL IT UP!

I hate having garage sales, but if I have much to get rid of and can do it with a friend and really make some money to go toward, say, a truck payment and our dream of moving out of the city, then let's do it. Every penny ends up counting, I suppose.

Here's what I packed for myself for Wyoming and packed similar for the kids:
1 swimsuit
5 T-shirts
1 jacket
1 pair jeans
1 pair shorts
1 pair boxer shorts for sleeping
1 pair workout pants for sleeping
4 pair socks
4 pair underwear
1 beach towel
1 pair tennis shoes
1 pair flip flops

Obviously I didn't have to schlep a winter coat or boots or total winter garb for all. As far as other stuff, the kids took Pillow Pets and little stuffed animals, Legos, coloring books and crayons, craft supplies, a few books. Callie took her picture of my cousin Cayla and some other stuff in her messenger bag.

A friend of mine does something like has 3 of each clothing item for her kids (except for undies and socks) because she also has 5 kids and the clothes overrun the house. Even with one kid, why would you need 100 outfits for that kid?

Do you have too many clothes? I have fat clothes and skinny clothes and maternity clothes and everything in between but have slowly been weeding things out. Why do we hold on to so many clothes when they just go out of style anyway and are so easily and cheaply acquired at thrift stores and consignment stores and through friends giving us more and sales, etc.?

Thankful Thursday: McCormick Italian Herb Seasoning Grinder

You know when you're at a restaurant and the server asks if you'd like fresh cracked pepper on your salad or other dish? I LOVE that! We have a pepper grinder at home that we got for our wedding, and it's gotten a ton of use. We've tried the sea salt grinders but the one from Aldi kept breaking (cheap plastic).

So when Aron found this McCormick Italian Herb Seasoning Grinder at the grocery store in Wyoming, I was excited to use it. Ingredients are: rosemary, black pepper, red pepper, garlic, onion, sea salt, tomato and parsley.

I used it in some store-bought spaghetti sauce and it really jazzed it up and gave it more flavor, kinda like what I'm used to with Aron's home-made spaghetti sauce. I also ground it up in some sauce for lasagna, and it rocked.

There's something about fresh-ground herbs and spices that makes me happy! Did I mention you can set it at  coarse, medium or fine?! Check out their other varieties here!

P.S. Had to add that I just got back from Aldi, where I see they have the knockoff version of all the McCormick spice grinders. I was commenting on how easily the grinders break and another woman there agreed and said she won't buy them there and buys McCormick instead for quality of grinder and spices/herbs!

Charging Me to Give You More Money

This week I find myself in the position of Secretary of Aron. I have to call Avis because of a $150 charge that showed up 2 weeks after he turned in his rental car. I also have to call Budget because of a $101 charge that showed up. Both charges have no explanation, so I have to sleuth out the deal.

Avis has sent me all over the place ... some pretend person named Michelle who won't call me back, and to Claims. The Claims lady and I had a good laugh when she said I did NOT need Claims and I told her the office is smoking crack and she said EXACTLY! We're thinking the charge is a cleaning charge because in Wyoming Aron works on a muddy mountain and often doesn't have time to clean the car inside and out before he returns it. That's fine. What I love is that Avis does not have the software to be able to have the space to enter what the charge is for. An employee actually told me this. So we all have to waste our time tracking this down when they just need a programmer to add more space in their software.

Budget actually made me laugh out loud. They still aren't quite sure, but they think the extra money is because at the last minute we needed the car 2 extra days. They got over $1,000 from Aron's company for almost 5 weeks of renting the car (returned clean!!!), but because he needed it TWO MORE DAYS, they charge an $80 fee OVERSTAY fee. I asked very politely, "You guys are charging us to give you more money?" Yep. You would think they would be happy renting the car out two more days.

What do you think about airlines and car rental companies? I just have to laugh because there is no fighting them.