My Own Reality Show (Wyoming, Day 13)

Here was my Facebook status today: 

I'm available for hire for SUPER-SLEUTHING on the Internet. We have no water (after everything else went off and came back on), the managers are gone. I somehow sleuthed out one of the owners' cell number on the Internet after much hunting ... maybe I can get the conditioner out of my hair sometime soon!

Later ...

The managers called me back and I tried to find a hidden key and go to a locked room to try to turn the water back on but, alas, lacking a penis I could not figure it out then Sam hit his head and I had to go. Aron should be home in a couple of hours to help out. In the meantime, I'm getting a deep conditioning treatment, probably as God intended. Reason for everything, right?! Or just maybe ...

So today was Saturday (yes, I post these AFTER the day happens, folks, so forgive my screwy English tenses and whatnot).

We did a little of this today.

We did a little of that today.

My friend Eva will appreciate this one ... it's like a little Catechesis of the Good Shepherd class!

Ambidextrous.

Michael ASKED to do some math so he could then get on Moshi Monsters. Yes, I reward them with "screen time" as my friend calls it, for working on math. And if they ask on a Saturday, so be it!

A puzzling turn of events.

Aron got home around 4-ish and we rushed around to get ready to go to town to this cute little church, where we were like the Catholic Superstars, what with our FIVE -- count 'em -- FIVE kidlets and all that. And I get all puffed up like, "Yep, I'm a breeding STAR, people, and I can probably even have MORE. I'm over 40 now, and might EVEN be able to squirt out TWINS for the cause!" We were in the cry room for a little bit and there was a woman in there with boys, aged about 2 and 4. They were playing and being all silly and she was trying to shush them and I was just grinning. Then I got a little teary because I used to have boys about that age who now play so much differently together, who argue and it's PERSONAL sometimes and who I pray never grow apart. Anyway ... no, I'm not crying. There's just something in my eye.

After church we went out to dinner at a family-style place with nice fried foods. Yes, it went as well as you would expect a dinner with 5 kids would go ... meaning, a little loud, but fun. We had FRIED onion rings, chicken FRIED steak, FRIED fish, FRIED chicken strips and FRIES.

Then we hit the sporting goods store (yeah, I said THE because there is only one) for some fishing junk (this is where my dad's ears perk up). Joel is all into bows and arrows lately so Aron got him 3 round-tip arrows so they could make a bow tomorrow. While the kids played hide-and-seek in the hunting garb and Sam walked around playing with a Spongebob fishing rod that would never be his, I found myself strangely perusing the ... HANDGUNS.

This place is gettin' to me, I tell ya. When I go in a place like that, where people buy things to KILL living things, I am both disgusted and fascinated. I'm just not sure where I stand on all that stuff. I used to get so mad at guys who hunted deer. I was all like, "You know you can BUY meat at the store, dummy!" But the longer I am an animal myself (a Mama Bear to be exact), the more I understand wanting to hunt stuff.

I talked Aron into then going to Wendy's for Frostys for the kidlets. They must have been spiked because this is what happened on the way home:

Found another freaky carved tree on the way into the ranch:

If you missed any installments of the Real World: Wyoming series, head to the right-hand side of this here blog, look for Categories, then click on Wyoming.

Real World: Wyoming; Day Twelve

Today was super chilly (48 degrees here and 84 in my hometown of Kansas City) and the van was in the shop, so we pretty much stayed inside or played with kitties in the barn.

A regular occurrence: I come out of the bathroom from a simple, 20-second peeing session and find that Sam and Eva (quite the duo) have trashed out the living/dining area and the other 3 have taken all blankets and sheets off extra beds and have made forts. If I wasn't so tired I'd laugh my butt off.

Tonight I got my drawers soiled when someone rang the doorbell. There are no shades on any of the windows in the main room or kitchen so of course anyone can see right in. It was a young guy, and I opened the door. He was here with a friend and wanted to know if they could fish at the river. I said I didn't know because it's not my house, but I didn't see why not. He was nice enough, but all I could think of was how the managers were not here and neither was my husband and how I wished I packed a gun all the time like one of my friends!!! (Quick! Google "gun laws Wyoming")

I'm homesick and need a hug from my parents and friends. It's so gorgeous here that I have no right to gripe. So here are some good pictures from our day, the fun parts, and if I had my way there would a "kitnapping" on Memorial Day from Kingfisher Bend Ranch!

Joel snuggles a kitty. He's naming them all already!

Veterinarian Callie McLoughlin, at your service.

Sam and Eva got to put cheese on the pizzas we made.

You don't understand how sweet this is unless you know Michael. Animals freak him out. He's fine with his 1-inch turtle and actually got on a horse last week. But holding a kitten is a big deal for him. We've come a long way at the ranch.

After Aron got home (around 8:30!), Sam and I played "dueling toots" and Aron and the other kids got to hang with the kittens.

Later I'm sure Aron was glad he got home before bedtime because I was writing and holding sleeping Sam when Sam all of a sudden woke, cried and puked all down my back. Whew ... Aron was here to catch the rest of the puke in a towel and to help clean it up! Lucky guy, that Aron! Hey, Dad, maybe it's because he rented a BUICK, RALPH!

We got to feed the horse tonight. I could get used to this Green Acres life. As long as there was a Target and a Starbuck's within walking distance.

Nana will be happy to see that we brought along a blankie/quilt she made for  one of the girls. They chose to use it to cover the Pet Porter since it has holes in the sides and it was going to be a cold night.

Fun fact: My first married last name was Porter. Kerrie is like "carry" and a porter carries crap. Interesting.

My man of almost 17 years gets a rare moment to read after cleaning up puke..

This dude puked then crashed. I tossed him on the bed so I could clean the carpet and change my vomity clothes.

Aron thinks he might get Sunday off, so we're hoping for nice weather and some more boat fun, exercise, suntan and family time!

If you missed any installments of the Real World: Wyoming series, head to the right-hand side of this here blog, look for Categories, then click on Wyoming.

Real World: Wyoming; Day Eleven

This morning Aron took the van to a couple of different shops in town. I'm surprised there are so many mechanics in such a small town, and it looks like they are all booked. I'll keep you posted on that one. So were hung out at home. It was overcast and chilly so we didn't go have any water fun. Instead ... we went hunting for the cat and her 4 kittens, which are located in a horse stall in the barn. Here's the mom, who we call Miss Kitty. We gave her some chicken so she would let us hold her babies.

Miss Kitty diggin' her chicken.

Callie loves the kittens.

4 babies.

Somethin's a brewin'.

The part with 2 stories is all ours. Home sweet home.

Aron didn't get home until after 10:30 but I kept the kids up so they could spend some time with him (except Sam, of course, who is still too teeny to stay up that late most nights).

With all the deer, bulls, cows, dog, cat and kittens and more it's like a Disney movie here.

If you missed any installments of the Real World: Wyoming series, head to the right-hand side of this here blog, look for Categories, then click on Wyoming.

Real World: Wyoming; Day Ten

So who remembers that show The Real World on MTV? I used to love love love that and even wanted to be on it. Of course, that was when I was in an abusive marriage and would've wanted to be ANYWHERE else besides where I was! (even fighting with a bunch of drunk kids my own age on TV). Anyway, here are the opening lines of that show, adjusted a little bit to fit my situation:

“This is the true story of seven family members picked to live in a lodge and have their lives taped (s0rda, on The Kerrie Show) to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.”

I still love my reality TV. Don't you judge me. You know you have guilty pleasures, too, somewhere. I told a friend today that I watch reality TV like the Housewives and Bethenny and Flipping Out so I can learn how to argue since I was deprived of didn't have any siblings growing up (and I loved it, people, yet ask me how much I will love it when my parents are oldies but goodies!!!).

The day started with some nice Pringles for Socks.

Sam chillin' in his grandpa chair complete with blankie.

We finally got un-lazy and went to town. First we went to McDonald's for lunch, which entailed eating in the car while listening to Dave Ramsey and tossing food at seagulls in the parking lot. We had to go to Wells Fargo for money for our lodging, and happened to get the BEST TELLER EVER, Tashia. She is pregnant with her 4th kidlet and totally understood my kids being antsy at the bank. They got suckers and she even blew up balloons for them! You know how I said it never rains here? Well, apparently I am powerful, because it was windy as all get-out and sprinkled today. Excitement!

Then we went to ... yes, I am hanging my head in shame to admit it again ... I'm whispering it ... WalMart.

WHAT? Don't judge me AGAIN! We "needed" ring pops and fat free half and half and a bunch of other stuff.

We spent some time at the river beach, which resulted in a wet sand fight and walking home with a couple of crying kidlets. Callie left her glasses BURIED there (yes, I said it) so after baths and tacos, we all trekked back ... I threw Sam in the stroller and he LOVED the bumpy ride to the beach over rocks and roots and tiny paths.

Post-beach meltdown and bath. Happy now with a taco and a silly sister to entertain.

Tacos for my other hungry boys, too.

So funny to have bulls running around all over the place. They stare you down like they're all bad, but then when you walk toward them, they run!

Cash to pay for the rest of our stay. We can't seem to hold onto those hundies for long.

We are loving our little vacation here. I got the kids to bed by myself last night (woo hoo! ... yes, I do this all the time when Aron is out of town, but lately he has been home to pray with us and read to the kids), then could not sleep so I watched the end of Water for Elephants (good book). Made me cry at the end. Aron didn't get home until midnight, sadly. At least we got to sleep next to each other for 6 hours before he had to leave again.

What fun will we be up to tomorrow?

If you missed any installments of the Real World: Wyoming series, head to the right-hand side of this here blog, look for Categories, then click on Wyoming.

Real World: Wyoming; Day Nine

Tuesday we decided to stay inside and not get anymore sun on purpose. When we prayed at bedtime last night, Aron asked God, "Please don't let my kids get skin cancer."

An atypical homeschooling day where everyone is calmly at the table.

Michael chose to sit at a different table and play Legos and Moshi Monsters.

So we made it a go-to-town day and spent a small fortune at WalMart on food, things to do, face cream for me (costly, yet cheaper than Botox, and when you have your own show you have to try to look good), and tons of vitamins since I have decided I am going through perimenopause (probably there will be a blog post on that one to come since I can't pass up making fun of womanly things). Also needed some school supplies.

So we powerbraked it out of the Kingfisher Bend Ranch, up the gravel road and onto the highway. We made it there and back! Got some powertrain error on the van when it died in town, so we'll have to check out a mechanic since Aron has (1) no tools here to fix the van and (2) zero time to fix the van since he's always at work!

Sam's Big Purchase: Thomas the Tank Engine jammies.

Aron worked a super long day and still got home and took the 4 awake kids to the pond for a little fishing and hanging out. On the way, they encountered many bulls who were being kept out of the main pen on purpose. The kids were FREAKED (OK, I was also freaked), but the managers said it was fine and we believed them. As the kids neared the bulls, the ran away. Wish I had a picture of that one but Sam was slung over my shoulder and it happened to fast!

Quote of the day from Michael: "[The show] River Monsters really bothers me. It's inappropriate for kids."