Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Living Together... But Apart: Ways To Spend Quality Time With Your Partner When You Have Kids

It becomes a natural part of having children, feeling like there is no time for anything, except looking
after your little ones. But while your priorities change, some friendships fall by the wayside, and your
calendar becomes overfilled with children's birthday parties, playdates, not to mention the fact that
you have to earn a living around all this, what happens to you and your partner, the root cause of
all this? Most couples end up struggling for any quality time with each other once they have a child.
So how you can every couple address these problems, not just for the sake of a better family unit,
but for their relationship?

Look At What Needs Repairing
Sometimes, it's not the fact that the days are spent cleaning up after the children, and the calendar
is full, but rather, the way in which the couple manages the decision-making process. Remember,
every couple have problems, and this is always going to cause upset or disagreement, but the real
question is if you co-operate and respect each other enough to address certain issues in your
relationship. Because, if you don't, that is why relationships go south. So firstly, look at your situation,
and see if it's not the child getting in the way, but the fact is that you aren't making enough effort with
each other. And if not, why not?

Rekindling The Spark
They say all romance goes out the window when you have a child, especially as the first few
months can mean you finding your feet, and for a lot of people, gradually as time goes on, and it's
more about the fact you have got yourself into a specific pattern. And this pattern revolves around
the so-called essentials, but do you remember why you both fell in love with each other in the first
place? Is what you are doing now, as far as daily duties are concerned, a far cry from what you
used to do before your child came along? Of course, the answer is yes. But the important thing is
that when you have finally hit the nail on the head with this, you can work at rekindling that spark.
It is important for all couples to spend some time together alone, without the child. And yes, the
temptation to sleep is a big one when you are both finally alone, which is why it's important to
schedule time together, not just take advantage of if a spare moment arises. Planning a romantic
evening together can be a very exciting thing, and you can add to the excitement by planning a
full evening together, but also by spicing up the atmosphere and the anticipation beforehand. You
can do this by sending sexy text messages while your partner is in work, discrete flirting, or
anything that you used to do before your little bundle of joy came along. Rekindling the spark,
no matter how infrequent it is, could be the key to saving your relationship. And even better than
that, it will finally relieve the tension between you and your partner, especially if you've both been
suffering in silence because of the lack of time to actually discuss these problems.

Making It A Habit
This is the hardest piece of the puzzle, because time is scarce, and it's not like you can drop your
kids off at their grandparents every weekend. But by making it a habit, albeit one that occurs on a
monthly basis is still important, because it is that important time that you and your partner need to
have together. This is why you need to schedule it in, and block book that day and night together
so you can do the essentials you need to do, whether this is shopping or cleaning, but then you
have the evening to yourselves to actually relax and do things you used to do. Making a habit of
this is very difficult, this cannot be disputed. But in showing willing to make this a habit, this will
do a lot more for your relationship than you will ever know. Lots of arguments occur because of the
practicalities of life, such as the division of labor, and as a result, resentment can ride high, which is
why it's important to make time to sit down and discuss things also. Because if you don't, you will
end up using your free time together to have major discussions about your general anxieties. This
isn't the best idea of quality time with your partner. And as corny as it may sound, it's important to
impose some rules on your quality time together, such as no use of phones, unless it's an emergency,
of course. Phubbing has been discussed as a contributing factor to relationships going sour, and as
tempting as it is to check your phone on a regular basis, at least put it away for a couple of hours!
What you also need to make a habit of is making some quality time with each other every day, even
if it is only for 10 minutes. You can feel like you are passing ships in the night, so even if you speak
to each other on the phone while your partner is in work, maybe just to check in, you can at least
see how you are both doing, and if you are on the same page that day.

Creating A Solid Future
The idea of quality time is something that a lot of us feel escapes us. You might consider quality
time with your partner very difficult thing when you have children, but it's not just about those long
days together, but it's also about the little moments, those moments where you can rekindle what
you once had before life duties. In a way, it can be very easy to place the blame on your parental
duties as a major contribution to your relationship suffering. But if you both want the same thing,
and you both want to create a solid future as a family, it's not just about doing the dishes and
cleaning and the parental tasks, it's about that genuine feeling of care in the household. Remember,
your child will notice, so don't just focus on the idea of quality time, focus on a quality relationship.