Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Unprotected Sex and Old Girlfriends: A Rant

Yeah, that got your attention, didn't it? Let's dive right in.

So I watched a season of this reality show called "VanderPump Rules". Remember we are not here to discuss the merits of reality TV and whether or not I should be polluting my brain with it. Remember again (redundant?) that I do not have any awesome vices anymore since I'm losing weight, so reality TV is it. Try and focus, people.

So this show is a spin-off from "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." There is a person on there named Lisa VanderPump who owns a restaurant called SUR. "VanderPump Rules" is a show about the staff there. Lisa is English so she says it "stoff."

I have two issues with this season (keep in mind I was also 20-something once and was also a big drama baby; now I am a full-fledged middle-aged drama queen):

1. This nasty dog Jax seems to go around having unprotected sex all over California and Nevada. Yeah, the obvious happened, and it seems like more than once: pregnancy and giving-her-some-money-to-take-care-of-it. My kind of guy. Oh, and the lying about it to his current girlfriend. Dude is a sociopath for sure; no tears even shed as he broke the news to his woman. As Andy Cohen of BRAVO would say, here's what:

-- I'm sure I will offend someone with this, but I hate how black men get the rap for being the ones who make babies all over creation with multiple women and when a white man does it and an abortion occurs, it's all good. He has "taken care of it."

-- I also hate how people like myself who CHOOSE to have many children because we LIKE them and can TAKE CARE OF THEM get snide remarks and looks. You want I should give one back?

2. This drama baby Kristin had a major meltdown over running into her boyfriend/shack-up lovah's EX-lovah (stay with me here) at a photo shoot. She freaked out, people, then went and let her man have it. For what? For HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE BEFORE SHE CAME ALONG.

Here's what: this is the society we live in. I love how one of the Bachelors on TV allegedly saved himself for marriage. Rock on, dude. This is rare, and I applaud you.

But here's what, Kristin: I am a little too close for comfort with a couple of women my husband of 15 years was WITH before me, and you don't see me beating him up over it or acting like a diaper baby around the women. And I am Facebook pals with a couple of guys I used to date and my husband is not all checking my account with his mascara running down his face while wailing at me because I had a LIFE before him.

In conclusion: Sex is an intimate act. Don't do it with someone you don't want to spend the rest of your life with cuz stuff happens.