My county is so uptight (ahem, Johnson County, Kansas)! Heck, my CITY is so uptight (naming more names: Overland Park, Kansas). It thinks it's like the hottest thing going and is so beautiful and fabulous and smart and witty. It doesn't want to do anything to dirty its reputation.
Reason #1 to move: So someone who lives in my city can't keep hens. In all the surrounding counties where I live, THEY get to keep hens. They get to have fresh eggs every day. It's not the houses are completely on top of each other and hens would bug the neighbors. I would personally keep mine under our deck, which is a lot of feet (like my measurements?) from either neighbor. I'm not saying I will keep hens. I'm just saying I want the OPTION. I want the FREEDOM to do so.
Reason #2 to move: We live on a corner which doubles as a racing strip at times. Trust me, I know. When Aron and I were dating, his brothers went over 100 mph up our street (before we lived here) on motorcycles. Aron and I also went pretty fast up our street. These days people still speed up and down our street and don't know the meaning of a crosswalk. Someone once honked at my kid for trying to cross!
Reason #3 to move: Fireworks. We love fireworks. I just found out that SPARKLERS and SNAKES are not allowed in my city!!!!! There is a neighboring county where the big assumption about them is that they are all backwoods, poor and dumb, and yet they somehow get through the 4th of July every year without too much trouble. My city is supposed to be all smart and rich and we can't have SNAKES! Like we are too stupid to water down our grass before doing fireworks or we will do snakes on wooden decks or house roofs.
So we go to the backwoods county where my family lives and we shoot fireworks and we have never had a problems. We've also in the past gone to my Mom's backwoods county in another state and have never had problems.
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| Joel likes to put fireworks under a cup and light them. |
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| I'm sure it shocks you that I am all into blowing things up. |
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| The booty! My cousin went with us to do the only shopping I truly enjoy. |
This year I was like, "Kids, your dad is out of town so we'd better not do any fun, illegal fireworks while he's gone because if the cops show up and want to take me away for doing illegal fireworks, you need someone at home to care for you."
Every other year I'm like, "Aron, I will volunteer to go to the Pokey while you stay home with the kids. Can I just real quick grab my laptop and a book? Maybe get a coffee on the way? I'll be back in a few days!"
