Friday, April 27, 2012

The Life of a Travel Widow

You've heard of a football widow, right? Those women who are neglected because their man is watching football all season. The woman could stand buck naked in front of the TV, and the guy would move her out of the way. Well, being a travel widow isn't like that because it isn't exactly by choice. But you're still a widow of sorts because you're like a single parent ... only with that all-important paycheck coming in still so you can saunter around the house as a stay-at-home mom, if you choose. Here are some observations about the life of a travel widow:
We do fun stuff to take our minds off Daddy. Then we blog about it so he can see pictures!
  1. I love my husband. He loves me. I'm sure there are men who love love love to travel for work because their home life sucks. Their kids are brats, their wife is a nag, and being in the office is boring. When they travel they get to be selfish and do cool stuff like fly on a plane and eat steak every night and watch whatever they want on TV whenever they want. My husband has ALWAYS made it clear he does not like to be away from us. He's either a really good liar or it's true because I've seen him get very sad and upset about leaving us. We hate when he has to leave.
  2. Our schedule without him is unpredictable. I am ashamed to admit any sort of schedule goes out the window when he leaves. We eat more sugar, we do more things to keep busy ... play, go places, meet up with friends, stay up later watching TV and reading. Some of this is just to keep me sane, as well, since I'm the only parent.
  3. Reintegrating him into our lives isn't always easy. It's easier if he has a nice Monday-Friday travel schedule and we know what's going to happen. But when his schedule is screwy, like now, and we have no clue when he's leaving and coming home, sometimes we look up and he's there and we're like, "Oh, we were headed to so-and-so's house ... did you want to come or stay home for some down time?"
  4. The disruption when he get a client who is not clear about the schedule or expectations. You should see my wall calendar ... events scribbled out, rewritten, wite-outed, new plans made with or without the Man of the House.
  5. I have to fight myself really hard to not turn into a jaded hardass who tries to run every single aspect of the show all the time, even after he comes home. Many years ago I met women at Aron's company who were HAPPY when their man traveled. THEY got to be selfish and spend the paycheck. I didn't want to be like that. A few of them are divorced now. Travel is hard on a marriage, but ...
  6. It might be good for our marriage to be away from each other sometimes.
  7. Don't get me started on how travel messes with us using Natural Family Planning! It is frustrating to know that after a long period of abstinence WHEN HE WAS AT HOME, he is leaving town on the day you now have the green light to visit the Boom Boom Room. And he's going to be gone a long time. Grrr.
  8. The traveling guy sometimes has to miss things that are important to his family. I try not to kick him when he's down ... he's already missing an important event; he doesn't need me to hop his case about it. So I TRY not to.
  9. A travel widow needs extra love ... invite her over for dinner, ask if she needs any sanity time, a coffee, a hug.
  10. Don't forget about the military widows! As I gripe about how hard my life is and how much I miss my husband, I think of my friends who have husbands who are gone for a year at a time. That much stink really bad. Is it easier to say goodbye to Daddy and then not have to do that again for a year or to say goodbye to Daddy over and over and over?
  11. Don't forget about single parents or real widows! Sometimes I find myself griping about Aron being gone to a woman who has a husband who is a real tool and isn't around anymore. I feel like a jerk and have to apologize!
Don't forget to enter the book giveaway WAY down at the bottom of the blog, or at the bottom of yesterday's post ... it's fickle and moves around!
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