Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Christmas Eve Crack

I love going to church only to see a mom bend down to get into her diaper bag so I can see half of her thong hanging out of her low-rise jeans.

Who invented low-rise jeans, anyway?

If your thong isn’t hanging out, your muffin top is. There aren’t a lot of people who should be wearing them. Not most moms. Not little girls. Not fat chicks. Definitely not me.

I’m going to invent some jeans that go up under my boobs so nobody sees my undies.


  1. It's all in how you wear them. My grandmother and I got into an arguement about them because she was saying that any girl who wears them is advertising....and I asked her if she could tell I was wearing low rise jeans. She stopped and looked confused. I explained to her that it's all in how you wear them. Most women have average length waists and they ride low. Women like me.....well, I have a REALLY short waist and "average" waisted jeans really do come up to or even over my boobs. The "low" rise jeans actually sit AT my waist. (Without showing off my undies!) So, I love them....but even I can't stand the "super low" rise jeans. Now THOSE are are begging for critisism.

  2. I think those are called "mom jeans"!! Did you see the SNL skit about them? Too funny. Look for it on YouTube!

  3. I'm with Katie. Low rise jeans create an amazing illusion that your hiney isn't as big as you know it is. I disagree that not everyone can wear them, they can, but not every pair works for every woman. There is much trial and error, and unfortunately, a great number of women don't know when to put the jeans back on the rack and try another pair. If you have a muffin top, you need to go up a size...or try another brand/style. My size 12 booty doesn't even muffin over with the right pair of low-rise jeans. You are right that the lack of personal censoring is out of hand. You gotta know they show the crack or the undies. Isn't there a draft back there? Wear a longer shirt, sweetie. Even if you're a twig size, we don't want to see that, no. Have some dignity. I can't wait till we get to talk about public pool attire.


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