Saturday, January 31, 2009

When Do You Stop (or Start) Having Kids?

I have to copycat FishMama over at lifeasmom.com on this one since it seemed to be one of her biggest comment-getters.

It’s no secret that I’m a Kid Freak. I’ve always wanted a big family. It doesn’t hurt that I have relatively easy pregnancies and deliveries and that I get pregnant just by Aron giving me a certain look (yes, THAT’S how babies are made … now you know). It’s such a personal decision for every person.

I hear a lot of women say they decided their family was complete after they had an especially difficult pregnancy or delivery. Some weren’t so fond of babies or kids in the first place, so one kid is all they can handle. Some have 10 and would happily welcome another.

If you are done having kids, how did you decide to stop (or was it decided for you)?

If you aren’t done, how come?

If you don’t have kids yet (and want one), when do you think is the ideal time to start a family?

8 comments:

  1. I have infertility issues, but I really only wanted two children. I've been pregnant 9 times and finally have my 2 children (granted, they are 8 years apart in age), but I feel truly blessed to have been able to have them. They are loads of fun.

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  2. We have four and our family is complete-I have had a tubal (during c section for last child) and we will not be having any more children. In my heart I could continue to have children forever but for our situation I knew that the logical thing was to stop at 4 kids. I had all four before I even turned 30 and began at 25. The decision to start trying when we did was made for us when I was told that I may never get pregnant-we had planned on waiting one more year before starting, I had a wonderful career and wanted to enjoy it for a short time longer.
    I am not happy about the finality of a tubal as I long for another baby now-even though we might never have had another I hate that I can't even change my mind-KWIM. So, those are my answers.

    Aimee

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  3. aimee ... thanks for writing all that ... that was awesome of you to share. i love knowing people's reasons for doing things b/c the better we understand someone the better we can love them, forgive them, etc. it's so easy to jump to conclusions about things!

    i struggle with having 4 ... it's such a nice even number, we could stay in our house, keep our minivan and even shuttle some friends. #5 starts to put it over the edge. the way the kids are eating lately, and the way the economy is, i would say you made a good decision! just wait for grandkids!

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  4. I was just talking to my mom and grandma about this last night. I have three now. I've always wanted to have four. I don't have to make this decision any time soon, but for some reason every day I think about if I want to have another baby or not. Some days I am sure that I want another one, and other days I feel like I'm done. My two biggest reasons for not having another would be that I really despise being pregnant, and I feel seriously starved for free, alone, do-whatever-I-want time. If I have another baby, who knows how long it will be before I actually get that time. Okay, there's another reason. I really feel like with each additional baby, my stress level has increased, so having another one may just put me over the top, you know?

    Apparently today is an I'm-done-having-kids day.

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  5. Is it bad form to comment on a post two months later? I hope not.

    Anyhow, I only have one, and we plan to have a second, but after that we're done. I never really wanted kids (though I can't imagine life without my daughter now), but I knew that my husband would have a million if he could. So before we got married, I agreed that if he gave me two years of being married, with absolutely no pressure in the kids department, we could have two kids.

    He gave me the two years. I've given him one of the kids. Right now, we'd like to move to another state and we're trying to get our finances in order first. So the deal is that we'll try for the second one after we move, or the baby turns 4, whichever comes first.

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  6. We are done and have 2 girls. My husband recently got "fixed" and I think it was the right decesion. I do want to be "just a Mom." I want to be a good Mom and I know my limits. Plus, we want to have enough time together (alone) to enjoy our lives together as a happily married couple. Something that I think would too hard (for us) if we had more children. But hey if the Duggars want to have 55 kids....so what. They take great care of their kids and they seem to be able to afford them!

    So I say you are done when you think you can't handle/afford anymore...for me that was 2.

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  7. I do want to be "just a Mom."

    correction

    I do NOT want to be "just a Mom"

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