Recycling at Schools Instead of Fundraising #MoneySmart

Public schools always act like they are hurting so badly for money. Yet they get crappy deals on supplies (see John Taylor Gatto’s book Weapons of Mass Instruction) and throw away so many textbooks, computers, monitors, etc. that you’d think they were Donald Trump.

The school across the street has FOUR huge bins in the parking lot to recycle tons of paper. So I just ASSumed the public schools in my area would recycle aluminum cans like the private schools do. WRONG.

When we went to the carnival across the street, there were cans overflowing from every trash can in every classroom. In the gym, one of the prizes for winning some game was a can of soda. When we left that night, cans littered the parking lot and grass at the school, like a nice big, non-alcoholic frat party.

So I thunk to myself, “Self, why not call the private school and find out how THEY do it and then ask the public schools why they don’t. Go to the superintendent if you have to. You’re just trying to help them, anyway.”

So I got on the horn. I called Holy Cross Catholic School first. I had to leave a message. Nobody has called me back.

Then I was going to call the school across the street from me and ask why they don’t recycle aluminum cans, but they collect soda pop TABS for needy children in other countries. Doesn’t make sense.

But then I got hot and tired and sick of thinking because of the training manual I was writing that was frying my brain and realized I don’t really give a crap right now. I’ll probably get fired up about it again next spring when I can think straight again.

I’m a Size One!!!!

I went to Target recently for bikinis for the girls and some maternity tops for me. I haven’t shopped for maternity crap since my first kid, thanks for many years of hand-me-downs.

And don’t even get me started on myself wearing a bikini. I haven’t worn one of those since I was 17, BUT now that my belly is SUPPOSED to be sticking out into the atmosphere I’m considering it. AND I’ll be 38 this summer, which is the age of I-don’t-give-a-crap, I do believe. If I could find a top to hold up my buubies (pronounced like they do in Jersey), I’d probably do it.

Ah, digression. My strong suit.

So I’m all white trash, trying on tops and shorts over and under my tank dress right in the middle of the store! Anyway, the point here is that in maternity tops I’m a size ONE! I think the last time I was a size one was when I was about 6 years old.

But then there’s the maternity SHORTS, which are all freaking low-rise crap these days. I want the ones that go up to my buubies, not the ones that show my pubic hair, thanks very much, designers. Liz Lange, my ass. What does she know?

Oh, but the maternity shorts are sized like 16W and 20W. Jeez. Is the W for wide? But I’m NOT wide. I’m big out the OTHER way, out front.

Anybody wanna start a maternity clothing company with me? AND, Kansas City friends, would anyone loan me some high-rise maternity shorts? Summer's a-comin' and I'm super cheap.

Field Trip: Kaleidoscope in Kansas City

I had some major brain fog recently. I scheduled a field trip to one of the most popular FREE kid destinations in Kansas City on GOOD FRIDAY. Do you see the problem with that? Good Friday is the day all the religious schools have no classes, and lots of parents also get that day off. So when we showed up for a 1:10 art session, hoping to meet a few other homeschool families, we were surprised to see the place PACKED already. Luckily we were able to get tickets for the 2 p.m., and we just grabbed some Sheridan’s (evil frozen custard) and messed around at the hotel that’s attached to the main shopping part of Crown Center.

So lemme tell you about Kaleidoscope. It is the ultimate in green. It’s affiliated with Hallmark Cards, a company we are very proud of in Kansas City. Had I been smart instead of man-hungry back in the day, I would’ve gotten an entry level job at Hallmark delivering mail or something and now would be happily working from home part-time writing greeting cards.

Anyway … it’s just a visually cool place and it’s FREE (had to mention that again), and all the materials the kids use inside are cast-offs from Hallmark … stickers that aren’t 100% up to their standards, paper shapes made out of leftover cardstock, cardboard from leftover puzzles that you can then make your own drawing on and they have a machine that turns your drawing into a puzzle.

The sessions are only 50 minutes, but they have them all the time. I’d never go on a Saturday, and the 2:50 during the week hits a little close to Eva’s naptime, but they have some great early-afternoon Friday sessions (it helps that my husband is off work every other Friday).

When we went it was TOO packed. It was loud (hellish kid music) and hot. I can take all that. Aron and I just tag-team the kids … he takes the boys and I chase the girls. But that day the other parents were out of hand. I mean, when you have adults pushing kids out of the way so the ADULT can make a puzzle of K-State or a heart with his and his wife’s initials in it, you have to start wondering about America. And this was NOT an isolated incident.

Then there was the woman who looked at Callie’s crown and goes, snidely, “My, that’s a LOT of stickers”, like “are you going to wear THAT?”

So basically when you someday visit the amazing Mecca that is Kansas City, drag your kids to Kaleidoscope. You’ll be glad you did. Then hit the Hallmark Visitor’s Center right next door. Then go see the cool fountains in front of Crown Center. Then grab something at Sheridan’s Frozen Custard inside Crown Center. Then eat dinner at Crayola Café. In that order.

The Homeschool Lady Griping About the School Carnival

The public school across the street had their carnival earlier this month, and of course we went. I always feel weird going there, though, since we homeschool. But 500 kids go there, and all the parents can’t possibly know each other AND all the kids who attend. So here are my reflections on the event:

1. Why the hell was Time Warner Cable there assaulting me? I told them over and over that we have no cable and no Internet and have no intention of getting them and they looked at me like I’d just flipped them off. So to get them off my back I told them it was my husband’s fault and that I’d call them and order cable and internet if he dies. Then I told my husband to watch his back.

2. Why don’t schools, who are supposedly suffering financially, recycle soda cans? This will be explored further in another post, when I have time to make some phone calls. And don’t get me started on all the stuff they throw away or recycle … expensive workbooks and textbooks that I find in the bins. Yes, I AM a dumpster-diver.

3. There’s no “e” after the “t” in “inflatables”. Somebody tell this to the person who made the signs because it annoys those of us who can spell. It's a school. Represent.

4. Some neighbors approached us about giving us their wooden bunk beds that are just sitting in their garage. YIPPEE! Someday the girls will have a FREE place to sleep (when we boot them out of OUR bed, that is).

So those are my deep thoughts. Rare these days, I know.

Success in Old Age

For some reason I feel like I have to do everything NOW … homeschool, get my house in order (ha!), become a successful writer (success to me = making $100 per month!!!).

I keep forgetting I should slow down and appreciate all that is around me, which includes listening to people without interrupting and playing 2-square with my niece and tickling my kids for no reason at all instead of walking around with a must-write, must-do-dishes, must-teach-homonyms stick up my butt.

When I take time to do that, everything else falls into place anyway, plus I’m more peaceful and patient and find that I’ve made some pretty great memories with my husband and kids and other family members.

According to the May 4 issue of People Magazine (an excellent literary resource), Paula Deen didn’t publish her first cookbook until she was 50, which led to her own TV show at 55 AND overcame agoraphobia to do all that! Also, Morgan Freeman didn’t find fame as an actor until he was 52. Steve Carell landed his first starring role on a sitcom (The Office) when he was 43.

Slow down a little bit! If you don’t, you may just give yourself a heart attack or stroke and THEN where will you be? Let me know how it goes for you … it’s going to be a long process for me!

Update on those deleted posts: my in-laws are afraid of identify theft. I think a decent thief needs a social security number and possibly a date of birth, though. And I would also recommend to them to not shop online.

By the way, Happy 59th Birthday today, Mom!