We Are Not Paying For College for Our Five Kids and Here is Why

Or money. Or are a genius. Or have an outstanding idea to turn into reality and sell. Or amazing business acumen.

Okay, I'm kinda just kidding here. I think college is fine. I have nothing against it. I just think it's overrated (unless you need it to be something you really want to be, like a doctor or lawyer or engineer or architect or some other profession where you must have that degree). Please read on.

I was going to do a big rant about how everyone thinks college is mandatory these days and that parents think they have to pay for it and how even if I had the cash of Trump I would not pay for my kids' college 100% (don't worry, Aron's with me on this one). I'm not going to bore you with the dropout stats and rates or the soaring cost of something your kid might not complete anyway and might not even enjoy.

Disclaimer: if your kid loves writing and drama, for instance, and you can swing paying for it, by all means send your kid to the appropriate college ... you won't see me tsk-ing you. But if your kid is 18 and CLUELESS about a career path and might even just want to get away from you and PARTAY til the break of dawn, you might want to think carefully before funding that action.

Because, AGAIN, I won't bore you with the stats, but a college education does not guarantee that your kid will graduate from a 4-year or even 6-year college stint and be able to get a job (1) in their field or (2) that will pay enough to pay back their student loans.

Disclaimer #2: My man went to school for engineering when he was in his late 20s and took out loans and worked a J.O.B. while he went and lived on his own even. He got an okay job, then a rockin' job he's had since 1999 and together we paid back his loans no problem. I realize not everyone has a sugar mama like me, though (hahahaha!)

Disclaimer #3: I don't know everything and the older I get realize I know less than I thought I knew (thank God for Google!). So before you get all mad at me, read on.

Disclaimer #4: I have an amazing example of someone who is successful who did not finish college: my own dad. He was too ornery for college, for sure. But he worked hard at the post office and was able to go on nice vacations and support his family and then retire at the ripe old age of ... 55. You know he and his wife are doing okay if they can buy Christmas and birthday presents for 8 grandchildren!

Our plan for our kiddos is to see if they can't go to junior college up the street for 2 years while living at home to save a ton of money. They should have enough saved in their savings accounts we started at birth for that. Also, they will be saving money from babysitting and mowing lawns and selling lemonade or whatever while they are teens. After that depends on the individual child and their needs and wants. Like if I have a kid going to MIT, well, let's see about grants and scholarships, then I suppose we'll discuss paying half and the other half will have to be on student loans. MIT kid should be able to pay those back within the first WEEK of working a job out of college :-) If I have a kid who wants to start a business and has a great idea, we'll talk. A kid who wants to wander through life a little ("all who wander are not lost") will be told "go for it, as long as you have a job!" So we support going to college and support not going. So we are not those parents who push college, and we are not those parents who say, "We can't afford it, don't go."

Just for fun, though, check out this link to the bio of an inventor of a very popular toy: Legos! And College Dropouts Hall of Fame. And 10 Famous People Who Didn't Go to College.

**I don't want my husband to work 80  hours a week and I don't want to personally work 40 hours a week from home to save money for my kids to go to college because WE WOULD BE MISSING THEIR CHILDHOOD AND WHAT IS THE POINT? Also, don't you think it's good for kids to take some responsibility in their education, their EXPENSIVE education? To learn how to make good financial choices early? We preach at them to not get into debt and to save and give to charity and LOOK AT WHAT WE ARE DOING! We are going into debt to send them to college, something they may not EVEN WANT TO DO!

Now, hit the Comment section and let's fight because I think I have it all figured out right now, but God is laughing at me while I write this post!

The Injustice of Payday Loan Places

I had to pop on here really fast because I'm listening to something that makes me feel really smart. I'm listening to talk radio and a woman is talking on and on and on about the "injustice" of payday loan places and how we need to regulate them in Missouri. And how they "target" the consumer. And this chick is organizing churches to be against payday loan places and the scandalous interest rates they charge.

And me and the talk show hosts are like, "Everyone has a choice and can get a payday loan or not. And they know the crazy interest rate when they sign up and if they need to float the loan longer, that's their problem!" 

YES, I have gotten a payday loan, way back in the day, like the 90s. We paid like $60 to borrow $50 for a week. I thought it was stoopid even then, but I was married to someone who liked to have stuff but not work very much. I've never gotten one since. 

What do you think about thousands of people wasting their time (I know, it's THEIR time to waste) on trying to regulate these places? Just leave 'em alone. I'm thinking this chick could have spent her time better starting a CHARITY for people who are in dire straits and need to go to these places as a last resort.

This is going on the ballot in Missouri in November. How will you vote?

Beecology.com Buzzes

I'm tired of saying something "rocks" or "kicks butt" and so now will coin a new cool phrase to mean something is awesome: BUZZ. You buzz, man. In the play last night, she buzzed ... hard. (and don't think I don't know what some of you are thinking right now. and stop it. because this is a family company so pull your head out of the gutter and be the klassy TKS readers I know you can be right now).

I think Beecology BUZZES.

They sent me some buzzin' products in the mail to try and I want to tell you about the little Ker Package they sent me. Let's go on a tour:

1. Buzz Balm. It's peppermint, it's all natural (my friend Andrea would call that "legit"), made with beeswax and all sorts of other cool ingredients. Some lip balms bug my lips, but this one just feels good and tingles a little with that peppermint. They sent me a few, and I shared them, and everyone agrees with me that they totally BUZZ.
2. Original Honey Hand and Body Cream "with propolis extract and other really good stuff" according to Beecology! This stuff stays on throughout the day, is just thick enough and just feels good. And there's honey in it, so watch out for bears.
3. Three different soaps. I'm turning into a fancy soap girl lately. This stuff feels like silk when you wash your hands or your bod. I have a bar in our master shower and a bar in the tub where the littles take a bath. Last night I was soaping them up and it felt like no soap I've ever felt, like there's lotion in it. And it smells good! And my skin doesn't need tons of lotion on it after I use it.

What are you waiting for? They offer free ground shipping on orders over $40 and a great coupon pops up when you visit the site!

PTSD After the NICU

Here's something I posted recently at mothering.com after reading a post about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after having a baby in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). I've put some links to my own blog posts from our experience below in my reply:


"I had no idea this could even happen. I'm doing research for a follow up to my article about 12 ways to support a friend with a nicu baby. A parent wanted an article about AFTER, coming home, dealing with family and friends and all that. I came across these posts about PTSD and am crying! My Sam was in the NICU only 7 days in October 2009 after having meconium aspiration and a super fast birth. It was hard to balance the needs of our other 4 kids and I always felt guilty not being at the hospital when he could have easily died at any time. I still get panicky when I think about it and savor this kid like you would not believe. It's also made me afraid to have another child because I had endometriitis (maybe, or maybe not ... my doctor seemed not too sure but antibiotics fixed it), and can't imagine doing the NICU stint again. If I feel this way after only a week dealing with it, how must those who have a baby (or more than one) in the NICU for months feel? My heart goes out to them. We need to be a little gentler with NICU parents, both while they are in the hospital and when they come home."


Here's a great piece my husband pointed me to recently, as well. And a piece in The New York Times.


I remember those days as being very difficult. I only slept because I was sick, and when I was awake I was worried. I pasted on a smile and kept my sense of humor, but remembering that time makes my chest feel tight.


Lately I've tried to take a funny slant on life on this blog, but sometimes I run across something that's informative and pretty serious. NICU stays are pretty common. I just wanted parents to know they can come here and have a discussion with me and a safe place to vent. And I wanted friends and family of NICU parents/babies to be extra sensitive. If a new mom asks you to wash your hands after you're visiting her tiny preemie for the first time, please don't call her a worrywart! These parents need just as much help after the NICU as during.


I want to take this opportunity to thank my family and friends and neighbors who were there for us when Sam was born. It means everything to us, and there's a special place for you in our hearts. We were drowning in homemade chicken noodle soup and help and love, and it was fabulous!

Taking Kids to Church ... Yes or No?

Today is Sunday. Aron is out of town. I am in charge of six people aged 10 and under. Do you think I will be attending Mass? No. Here's why:

1. Sam and Eva can't make it through an entire Mass anyway, so I end up in the vestibule (that's entryway to you non-fish-eaters; Catholics have cool words for normal things and that's why I signed up) or down in the nursery.

That's about it. I don't wanna leave the other 4 kids alone in church ... you know they will act like fools without my adult guiding presence!

I checked out a friend's blog yesterday and she wrote that her 3-year-old didn't make it through the 3-hour Easter Vigil very well last weekend. I'm like (1) it's at night, the Witching Time and (2) THREE HOURS???????? This is a very brave woman. She would have to be to be pals with me, no?

Every Christmas somebody will ask us if we go to Midnight Mass with our kids. I have to be careful how I answer because my mother-in-law took 5 kids EVERY YEAR (including twins, people). Sit on that one for a moment. Five kids. Every year. Midnight. Church.

So I come up with some diplomatic answer that is not usually, "Are you freaking crazy? Midnight? Five kids? Church? They'd be sleeping all over the floor of the joint, and I might have to join them."

Might not see all my church peeps the next TWO weekends, actually, due to Fishing Trip Mania. Why take the only two kids who don't sit through Mass TO Mass? I know God loves that you just show up. I also know God loves a sane and loving mother to take care of the kids that have been entrusted to her care.

Catholic pals, slam me in the comments about what a heathen I am. I can take it.