April
Surrender by Cheap Trick
May
I'm Goin' Home by Chris Daughtry
Get Your A** Back Home by Gym Class Heroes
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Porn in My Pocket: Adults
Okay, so yesterday I talked about kids and cell phones. Believe me, adults aren't much different. Please don't get me started on the grown adultsI see walking and texting and they don't even acknowledge that their kid is walking next to them or that there is a car barreling down on them at 60 mph and they should get out of the damn way. I'm shocked that some people still have two working thumbs.
So texting is one way adults act like jackasses with phones. Butt-dialing and drunk-dialing is another.
Then there's the fact that you can access porn anytime you want! So for a sex addict, having a phone in the pocket is like an alcoholic having a little bottle of vodka in the pocket. Or like a recovering drug addict having a little bottle of pills in the pocket. Just in case, of course. What a temptation!
It creeps me out that any guy I encounter could maybe be NOT checking baseball scores while waiting in line for his McDonald's, but looking at naked chicks. I've seen guys doing it at the library, for God's sake, why wouldn't they do it on their own phone in front of people? When I see it at the library I just want to smack him upside the back of his stoopid head and ask, "WHY don't you just get internet at your own damn house? Why do I have to walk behind you AT THE LIBRARY and find out that you like large ladies?"
C'mon, anonymous comments. I know you have opinions on this one! Not that I have a fully-formed argument. I don't want to take the Internet off cell phones, so I don't know what the heck I want.
So texting is one way adults act like jackasses with phones. Butt-dialing and drunk-dialing is another.
Then there's the fact that you can access porn anytime you want! So for a sex addict, having a phone in the pocket is like an alcoholic having a little bottle of vodka in the pocket. Or like a recovering drug addict having a little bottle of pills in the pocket. Just in case, of course. What a temptation!
It creeps me out that any guy I encounter could maybe be NOT checking baseball scores while waiting in line for his McDonald's, but looking at naked chicks. I've seen guys doing it at the library, for God's sake, why wouldn't they do it on their own phone in front of people? When I see it at the library I just want to smack him upside the back of his stoopid head and ask, "WHY don't you just get internet at your own damn house? Why do I have to walk behind you AT THE LIBRARY and find out that you like large ladies?"
C'mon, anonymous comments. I know you have opinions on this one! Not that I have a fully-formed argument. I don't want to take the Internet off cell phones, so I don't know what the heck I want.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Porn in my Pocket: Kids
Cell phones and little kids do not mix. There. I said it.
I'm also going to say that little kids can barely wipe their butts or remember to breathe, let alone remember to charge and carry around and keep track of a cell phone, not to mention use it responsibly. Responsibly = not prank-calling friends. Not texting pictures of their butt to their friends.
Yes, I know you are going to say something like, "But I am a divorced parent and I want to make sure my kid can contact me at all times." M'kay. I'm sorry that you initially married someone so horrific that you think they wouldn't let your shared child call you if said child needed to. I'm sorry that you don't know where your kid is at all times so they have to have a freaking phone.
Disclaimer: sometimes you might see my 10-year-old with my pink cell phone at a Boy Scout meeting. This is so he can call me to pick him up if it gets out early. It's really unnecessary, though, since there are adults there with phone who would let him call. I also sometimes send him to the park with it so he can call me to come whoop bully butt if necessary. It has happened before.
So let's say you are the richest person in the world.
I'm also going to say that little kids can barely wipe their butts or remember to breathe, let alone remember to charge and carry around and keep track of a cell phone, not to mention use it responsibly. Responsibly = not prank-calling friends. Not texting pictures of their butt to their friends.
Yes, I know you are going to say something like, "But I am a divorced parent and I want to make sure my kid can contact me at all times." M'kay. I'm sorry that you initially married someone so horrific that you think they wouldn't let your shared child call you if said child needed to. I'm sorry that you don't know where your kid is at all times so they have to have a freaking phone.
Disclaimer: sometimes you might see my 10-year-old with my pink cell phone at a Boy Scout meeting. This is so he can call me to pick him up if it gets out early. It's really unnecessary, though, since there are adults there with phone who would let him call. I also sometimes send him to the park with it so he can call me to come whoop bully butt if necessary. It has happened before.
So let's say you are the richest person in the world.
- At what age would you get your kid a cell phone?
- And would it be a TracPhone, where you pay by the minute so they can't use it very much?
- Will you make them pay for it?
- Will you disable the Internet?
- Did you know you can disable the Internet?
- Will you let them have texting?
- Did you know I don't have Internet or texting on my cell phone and never have and I am still alive?!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Beyond the Yellow Brick Road
Don't you love it when you sing along to a song and your kids look at you like you're in pain? I've never seen Michael's head whip around faster than when I sing along to this song (haunting and so perfect since I'm from Kansas and all that ... FYI: I don't live on a farm but wouldn't mind if I could be close to a Target). Try it!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Joel Crosses Over to the Other Side
So this is Dad Steve and Stepmom Nancy (note her Nana shirt ... very cool), who came to Joel's Blue and Gold Scouts banquet last night. Yes, folks, he walked over a real bridge and crossed over ... to the other side of scouting ... Boy Scouts, that is. Black gold. Texas tea. Oops, stuck in Beverly Hillbillies land again.
It was AMAZING. Over 100 people turned out on a Sunday night to celebrate two boys crossing over. Crossing over sounds like the boys died and went to heaven, right? Actually, it's like Aron and I died and went to heaven because I hear parents are less involved in Boy Scouts. In Cubbies, we had meetings at our house, coordinated day camp last year, recruited new boys and were Den Leaders for 3 years. Since Michael doesn't want to do Scouts, we are on a break until Sam decides to join.
Keeping up the crossing over/heaven schtick, when the boys go to Boy Scouts they are at that age when they are starting to want their parents less involved in their business anyway. I was a little struck last night by the fact that I have to start letting my baby boy go :-(
So besides Dad and Nancy, Aron's parents and brother came along with 5 of Joel's cousins! Jordan and Ian came early to help set up and chase kids, and Abby and Spencer (my very 1st Confirmation kid ever two years ago!) stayed to clean up. Aron and I took them to 711 after for drinks. Not like margaritas, but like Slurpees!
Gotta go ... Sam woke up a little crabby and I gotta slam some coffee while it's hot since the microwave broke. It's a whole new world without a microwave!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)