BIG Announcement ... Come to the Blog

Gotcha! Sorry about that. You probably think I'm pregnant, but no, I do not currently have anyone residing in my womb. I just wanted to tease you a little bit. To reward you for your obedience, I will share something personal about myself that I recently learned (and you also get to see a picture of my kids loafing around from last summer):

I don't wash my hands after a poopie diaper change because I am worried about germs. I wash them because I don't want my hands to smell like poop.

Have a great week ... our tree is up, presents are being wrapped, photo cards are being picked up today, my new mommy business cards are in, and the Christmas letter is in the works (not really; I'm procrastinating that one).

Pokemon Cake, Barbie/Cookie Monster Cupcakes

Here are the promised photos of Eva's Pikachu Pokemon cake and her doll and Cookie Monster cupcakes. They were made by my friend's 12-year-old homeschooled daughter (A&A's Custom Cakes), and you can find her on Facebook by clicking here. If you live in Kansas City, have her make you a cake or cupcakes! Peruse her online portfolio!

My First Mammogram. I'll Treasure It Always.

Welcome to 40, ladies! Yesterday I got to go for my very first mammogram. Then I couldn't shut up about it, so I'd like to apologize to all the moms, dads, kids and babies I told about my mammogram yesterday at the homeschool Christmas party. That was probably uncalled-for.

What IS called-for is for me to tell YOU about it. You are lucky because you can just delete the post. The poor people at the party had to give me an awkward smile and then try to meander away. Again, sorry.

It was all actually quite simple and fast and painless. It was also awkward as hell. Let me explain.

So I arrive on time and as I wait the 20 minutes for my little appointment I got an article edited ... whoppee! Productivity! Then I was led to a room where I got to strip from the waist up and put on a hospital gown (can't they make those things prettier?!), open in the front. Then I got to awkwardly stand in front of a woman in a room while she asked me all sorts of questions about live births and nursing and family history. I may as well have been on a stage.

Then the fun part began. She warned me that she would be flopping my boob (THUNK) onto the little machine thingie. I'd had women handle my boobs when I was learning to nurse, and my male doc does my breast exam every year (and every dang year I blush), but it was still weird.

So first my boob got SMEESHED up and down. Then side to side. Then we did it on the other side. It was quick and painless.

I went in with a smile, happy to have insurance and happy we have this sort of technology.

I did it for Giuliana Rancic and for my family. I'll do it again next year. It wasn't so bad.

McDonald's Sock Policy -- They Ran Out!!!

Okay, you will NOT believe this. You know how I wrote about McDonald's playland sock policy earlier this year? I was so freaking mad at the way I was treated by this one guy. I now know his name is George, because I had to see him the other day when we went for Eva's birthday. So we all get into the McDonald's (a treat for Eva's birthday) to eat and play. The kids start taking off their coats and shoes and it comes to my attention that Callie HAS ON NO SOCKS. I think I have some in the car but it's colder than a witch's you-know-what in a brass bra and I am NOT going outside. So I suck it up and BUY SOME SOCKS for one dollar.

When we get our food, Roberto tells us they are OUT OF SOCKS! Are you dying right now?! It's DECEMBER in KANSAS! They like to harrass people about wearing socks and THEY ARE OUT!

On a different note, I find it hard to dog out McDonald's too hard because one of my favorite people in the world works there and his name is Roberto. He's worked there for years and years and always gives my kids extra toys and takes my food into the playroom and gets us ketchup. So on Eva's birthday I had to snap a picture of, like, the BEST employee ever. I mean, the guy is amazingly bilingual and speaks Spanish with me so patiently every time I see him (which used to be a lot). This guy should be managing a huge company with his customer service skills, not working at McDonald's. I hope they pay him VERY well because he rocks. If you see him, tell him he's famous (ha!).

Do Moms Need a Break?

I don't know what I was thinking when I made this flippin' sign. Heard of WISHFUL THINKING?! I must have been having a hard day and put myself in a 2-minute time-out in my room to avoid blowing up at all the chaos that was happening.

Here's my question: doesn't everyone need a break? I mean, even regular working Joes get a smoke break if they need it. Recently Aron and I went on a date and talked about me getting out of the house more alone since Sam is getting older and stays at home well with Jordan or Aron. He thinks I need 2 hours to myself TWICE A WEEK.

Here's the thing: that sounds great. I don't LOVE being away from my kids, but I could sure use some UNINTERRUPTED time to scrapbook and to write articles. It would be cool to be productive AND to make some money to pay for my chocolate habit.

So why do I feel guilty when I leave the house and have a lovely, recharging time? This is such a cliche by now, but I truly do feel like a better mom when I get some time away from my kids. I guess it was always easier to find my sanity at home when I wasn't homeschooling, when I wasn't trying to write for money, when I wasn't caring for 5 human beings, when those precious human beings didn't talk so much, when they weren't in so many activities!

I know taking care of a baby is physically hard. Taking care of a child as he grows up is the hardest thing you will ever do emotionally, spiritually and more. A person needs to take a break when they are doing the most important job in the world.

How do you get your breaktime in?