The Homeschool Lady Griping About the School Carnival

The public school across the street had their carnival earlier this month, and of course we went. I always feel weird going there, though, since we homeschool. But 500 kids go there, and all the parents can’t possibly know each other AND all the kids who attend. So here are my reflections on the event:

1. Why the hell was Time Warner Cable there assaulting me? I told them over and over that we have no cable and no Internet and have no intention of getting them and they looked at me like I’d just flipped them off. So to get them off my back I told them it was my husband’s fault and that I’d call them and order cable and internet if he dies. Then I told my husband to watch his back.

2. Why don’t schools, who are supposedly suffering financially, recycle soda cans? This will be explored further in another post, when I have time to make some phone calls. And don’t get me started on all the stuff they throw away or recycle … expensive workbooks and textbooks that I find in the bins. Yes, I AM a dumpster-diver.

3. There’s no “e” after the “t” in “inflatables”. Somebody tell this to the person who made the signs because it annoys those of us who can spell. It's a school. Represent.

4. Some neighbors approached us about giving us their wooden bunk beds that are just sitting in their garage. YIPPEE! Someday the girls will have a FREE place to sleep (when we boot them out of OUR bed, that is).

So those are my deep thoughts. Rare these days, I know.

Success in Old Age

For some reason I feel like I have to do everything NOW … homeschool, get my house in order (ha!), become a successful writer (success to me = making $100 per month!!!).

I keep forgetting I should slow down and appreciate all that is around me, which includes listening to people without interrupting and playing 2-square with my niece and tickling my kids for no reason at all instead of walking around with a must-write, must-do-dishes, must-teach-homonyms stick up my butt.

When I take time to do that, everything else falls into place anyway, plus I’m more peaceful and patient and find that I’ve made some pretty great memories with my husband and kids and other family members.

According to the May 4 issue of People Magazine (an excellent literary resource), Paula Deen didn’t publish her first cookbook until she was 50, which led to her own TV show at 55 AND overcame agoraphobia to do all that! Also, Morgan Freeman didn’t find fame as an actor until he was 52. Steve Carell landed his first starring role on a sitcom (The Office) when he was 43.

Slow down a little bit! If you don’t, you may just give yourself a heart attack or stroke and THEN where will you be? Let me know how it goes for you … it’s going to be a long process for me!

Update on those deleted posts: my in-laws are afraid of identify theft. I think a decent thief needs a social security number and possibly a date of birth, though. And I would also recommend to them to not shop online.

By the way, Happy 59th Birthday today, Mom!

Our Love Story in the Paper!!!

Having major internet connection issues today, but have managed to get on for a second to share this with you ... it's the link to our Love Story in the Kansas City Star today! Enjoy, and I'll have the blog back up and running in no time!

they keep changing the link, so if this doesn't work, go to www.kansascity.com, then FYI/Living, then Star Magazine!

By the way, I can't stand the photo of me in the paper, plus my dad says I should change my blog profile photo. I'll post some super-hot preggie pix (oxymoron?) once my camera comes back to me in the mail.

Text Messaging Annoyance

I recently had to get a new cell phone after three years. I didn’t have the text-messaging service turned on with my last phone, and it’s not on this one, either. I’ve heard all the reasons why people from age 5 to 95 love text messaging: it’s nice to pop off a note without bothering the recipient (who may be in labor or at work or school), it’s quicker and easier than e-mail to ask your husband to pick up some milk on his way home from work, you can call your boss an idiot during a meeting without him/her even knowing it!

Here are my crazy reasons for hating text messaging:

1. It’s rude. I hate having a conversation with someone and hearing their phone jingle or sing or vibrate or … bark. The message beckons to them, and they get all jittery and anxious until you give them permission to read it.

2. It’s addictive. I love when the text-message receiver grasps their phone like it’s a life raft, as if they simply have to know who has texted them the super-intelligent item such as, “LOL” or “What are you wearing?” or “I’m so bored.” Watch your teen try to live without texting for one day … it’ll be fun!

3. It makes it too easy to have an affair. Just read messages from your lover under the table and respond when you can. Your spouse never has to know. It’s a stretch, but I contend that texting is contributing to the delinquency of human beings in general.

4. It’s why my hairdresser didn’t give me the !@#$ cut I asked for. Instead of listening to me, she was texting her next client. Later she kept stopping in the middle of my blow-dry to text again. See #1.

5. Wouldn’t you think texting makes it easy to cheat on tests? Teachers have it bad these days … they have so many devices to compete with, as if teaching isn’t hard enough. How do you take away 30 cell phones at the start of each hour, then give them all back as the kids leave? Or do you just get tired of the whole thing and try to ignore it while the kids are setting up sex dates via text message?

6. It’s expensive. Just ask my cousin, who ran up several hundred dollars’ worth of text messages once before getting the unlimited texting option.

7. Driving while texting and “sexting”. Enough said.

The next time you start to text, consider how potentially inane your message really is. It’s just one more technological “breakthrough” that has become a pain in the thumbs.

I’m so curious to see what Paul has to say about this since he’s practicing just “being” … doesn’t texting get annoying to him when he’s trying to meditate or get or give a massage? Or is he polite and just turns off his phone for hours at a time? And if he turns off his phone, what’s the point of even having text-messaging? Isn’t the point of it the urgency? Let's all text him right now. His number is 555-555-5555.

Unsafe Touch

For some reason, during Joel’s final religious education class they did a talk on and gave handouts on Safe and Unsafe Touch. Joel even had to draw a picture of his “safe adults” … me and Aron, of course!

When Aron and the boys went fishing, they acquired several ticks. Joel got one on his … ahem … nether-region. It was itchy for a few days, and Joel told me that …

What the tick did was a BAD TOUCH. It had no business being in his nether-region.