This sounds so Wayne’s World, but I interviewed my dad’s cousin about her new book that’s out called “Adoption for Singles.” I can’t wait to read it! It’s no secret I have a soft spot for kids, and it’s so sad to me that there are so many of them without parents. If I could, I’d adopt them all myself!
Kerrie: What is your writing process?
Vicki: My writing process is probably the opposite of what they teach in writing programs around the country, because I'm a horrible editor! Once I put my thoughts into writing, it's very difficult for me to change those words, for some reason. So I do my research, all my reading, and then I think about it for days and weeks. Then I go to the library or a coffee shop armed with my laptop and snacks, and I crank it out, almost without stopping. For instance, I wrote the first chapter of my book in one afternoon at the library, with some scratch-outs and phrase rewrites, but when I was done, it was done. At that point I'm totally exhausted and need a glass of wine and dinner.
I've always been an all-at-once writer, even in high school and college. I think it's because I have ADHD and I'm unable to write in bits and pieces because I need to be totally immersed in that world for hours to make it all come together. So I've always prepared mentally, and then I've sat down and started writing with the whole outline in my head. I come up for air some time later with a more coherent and organized paper than I would if I wrote over the course of weeks. In the mental health field we call it "hyperfocus" and it works for me!
Kerrie: Did you keep your "day job" while writing?
Vicki: Absolutely. I had to to survive financially. So most of my writing was done on Saturdays because I'm too tired in the evening after a full day at work. I did do some of the research in the evenings -- for instance, the Appendix of all of the countries in the world and their policies on adopting to American singles (100+ pages) was done at night because I didn't really have to think! I was scanning for certain facts and when I found them, they went into a format that I had designed. I could even listen to the television when I was working on the directory!
One of the chapters of the book is a compilation of Questions and Answers from adoptive parents and adoption professionals I even got the Executive Director of The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, which felt like quite a coup for me! After an initial telephone call, the chapter was written by email, where I would send questions and the interviewees would answer, and then I'd follow up. It was great because I didn't have to record interviews and the interviewees were able to edit their words and say exactly what they wanted to say. It saved me a ton of work!
Kerrie: How did the idea for this book come to you?
Vicki: In addition to my training as a clinical social worker, I've been trained as a life coach. Several years ago I decided to focus on singles, not so much for dating support, but for support in all of the other areas of a successful single person's life. I knew that I needed money to pursue setting up a web community and hit on the idea of writing a short -- 40 pages or so -- electronic book about adoption to sell to make money for the new venture. But when I started researching the topic, I found that it was much more complicated that I had imagined, and that the adoption world is big and ever-changing. Every time I sat down to think about it, I thought of a new area that I thought needed to be addressed, because they were issues that I would want to know about if I were adopting or thinking about adoption. So the 40-page book turned into the book that ate New York, and I had to limit it to 288 pages with free white papers that can be downloaded from the web site. That way it would be less expensive for me to publish, and yet the additional forms that I designed to help with the adoption process, and other information about agencies, etc., would come with the book. And the electronic version is just one way to buy the book -- along the way I decided to actually print it!
Although I initially decided to write the book to make some money, it soon became clear to me that there are millions of children out there who need a parent. Here in the U.S., 129,000 kids' parents have had their parental rights terminated, and are waiting for parents. And there are 5 million orphans in Ethiopia alone! So it has become a crusade of sorts because I became aware of all of the children who are suffering, and I also found out that you can adopt for free if you're fairly open to all kinds of kids.
Kerrie: How long did it take you to write?
Vicki: It took about a year and a half, not because I wrote for hours each week, but because life got in the way and sometimes I would go for several months without writing at all. If I had been able to stop working and do my research and writing every day, I think it would have take several months to finish. Then the production process has been about 6 months long -- finding someone to do the graphics on the cover I designed and to format the text and get it digitally ready for printing (www.Accurance.com), proofreading many times, publishing and getting the ISBN number, having the cover and copyright page redone to reflect the ISBN number and publishing date. And setting up the book's web site so that it can be sold. I've learned an enormous amount about the production process, and I think that it will be much faster next time because I won't make the same mistakes!
Kerrie: What is the release date, a Web site, any other publicity information?
Vicki: The book is out right now (yeah!!!) and for sale at www.adoptionforsinglesbook.com. The book is a little more expensive than standard trade size paperbacks that you would find in your bookstore because it is a Print-on-Demand book. For those of you who aren't familiar with that process, it means that when you self-publish, as I did, you don't need to sign a contract and buy thousands of dollars worth of books that you sell and distribute yourself. I used www.lulu.com , a POD company that prints each book as it is ordered, charges a commission on each sale, and then sends me the royalty that I have put on each book. They make no money unless you sell your book and charge nothing more than that 20% commission, so it's quite a deal! They also offer a Distribution Package and submit the book to Amazon and Barnes and Noble for sale on their web sites. I had to price the book higher than I would like because Amazon and Barnes and Noble make 50% right off the top when a book is sold on their web sites. So I priced the book at $29.95 because the price has to be the same across all sales venues, and because A and B&N take $14.98. Anything lower would have meant that I would have to pay people to buy the book!
But, I think that if I were considering adoption, as busy as I am, I would be willing to pay someone $30 to do all of the research for me.
Vicki, I quite agree! Adoption is such a scary thought to so many people that they need a resource to guide them through the process. And I’m sure many singles don’t even think they have a chance at adoption. If they would just realize that (1) they don’t have to be perfect to adopt, (2) they don’t have to be rich to adopt and (3) there are many ages of kids to adopt that are just sitting in the System … they could be on their way to a whole new life as Parent!
Thanks for writing this book! Blog readers: please forward this post to anyone you know who is looking at adoption!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The Housewives of Orange County
Sometimes I’m not sure why I watch “The Housewives of Orange County.” I mean, for one thing, most of them are not even housewives. One of them works her ever-living butt off about 23 hours a day selling insurance (and if she keeps treating her husband the way she does, she'll soon be a Divorcee). One sells homes. One season one of the chicks wasn’t even a WIFE. THIS season one chick isn’t even a WIFE.
Wait, I guess this season we have more actual housewives who do what they’re supposed to do: spend money on $2,000 dresses and spoil the crap out of their kids and make sure their teenage daughters are dressed like hookers.
Let’s just call it “The Extremely Annoying Women of Orange County.”
And yes, I’m being judgmental. And no, I’m not jealous. I’ll take my kids over money and jewelry any day. They’re snuggly warm and a hell of a lot more entertaining.
Wait, I guess this season we have more actual housewives who do what they’re supposed to do: spend money on $2,000 dresses and spoil the crap out of their kids and make sure their teenage daughters are dressed like hookers.
Let’s just call it “The Extremely Annoying Women of Orange County.”
And yes, I’m being judgmental. And no, I’m not jealous. I’ll take my kids over money and jewelry any day. They’re snuggly warm and a hell of a lot more entertaining.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Big Families and Santa Claus
(I promise I'll quit beating the dead Christmas horse after this post!)
Whew. I got all the Christmas presents wrapped by 6:45 p.m. on Christmas Eve.
This year we put a limit on the number of presents (5 for each kid, and Santa has no problem giving a used gift if it’s something the kid will enjoy) and I tried to keep the cost the same for each kid (except the baby, who wants for nothing, so she got some cheaper gifts).
My sister-in-law just puts out all the gifts from Santa the night before UNWRAPPED, which sounds brilliant to me, but my husband won’t go for it. Of course, they also have buttloads of gifts for their kids from THEM. I guess nobody wants their kid thinking they didn’t get them a gift, but I don’t personally do this.
In case you’re wondering where we hide all 20 presents plus stockings, I’ll tell you. This year the “stockings” were plastic lap trays from Michael’s with “pockets” on either side of the tray. I put stuff in the pockets, like crafts, gum, a huge Hershey’s chocolate bar (I am the Sugar Mama, after all), Hannah Montana lip gloss for Callie, a ball and bath toys for the baby, rubber stamps and other junk. I stacked the lap trays and hid them in a corner of the basement, then covered it with Aron’s sleeping bag.
The smaller wrapped toys fit nicely in the huge cooler. The rest we put in the emptied-out Christmas tree box (what will we do next year when we have a live tree???), mostly stackable box-type gifts. Then I closed the box and stood it on end, opening to the wall.
For those of you with large families, I’m dying to know how you do the Santa thing (or if you even do it at all).
Whew. I got all the Christmas presents wrapped by 6:45 p.m. on Christmas Eve.
This year we put a limit on the number of presents (5 for each kid, and Santa has no problem giving a used gift if it’s something the kid will enjoy) and I tried to keep the cost the same for each kid (except the baby, who wants for nothing, so she got some cheaper gifts).
My sister-in-law just puts out all the gifts from Santa the night before UNWRAPPED, which sounds brilliant to me, but my husband won’t go for it. Of course, they also have buttloads of gifts for their kids from THEM. I guess nobody wants their kid thinking they didn’t get them a gift, but I don’t personally do this.
In case you’re wondering where we hide all 20 presents plus stockings, I’ll tell you. This year the “stockings” were plastic lap trays from Michael’s with “pockets” on either side of the tray. I put stuff in the pockets, like crafts, gum, a huge Hershey’s chocolate bar (I am the Sugar Mama, after all), Hannah Montana lip gloss for Callie, a ball and bath toys for the baby, rubber stamps and other junk. I stacked the lap trays and hid them in a corner of the basement, then covered it with Aron’s sleeping bag.
The smaller wrapped toys fit nicely in the huge cooler. The rest we put in the emptied-out Christmas tree box (what will we do next year when we have a live tree???), mostly stackable box-type gifts. Then I closed the box and stood it on end, opening to the wall.
For those of you with large families, I’m dying to know how you do the Santa thing (or if you even do it at all).
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Digiscrapping
This post is by Guest Postess Chris, who is one of my husband’s rockin’ cousins.
Digiscrapping is for those who would like to preserve their memories in a scrapbook-type style, but for whatever reason do not want to work with traditional paper supplies. I do not want to bag on my fellow sister scrapbookers who work in paper, but for me the advantages to digital scrapping are numerous:
1. No mess! You don't have to drag out your supplies and pack them back up when finished.
2. The only storage you need is on your hard drive.
3. It is goof proof. Don't like what you just did? Hit undo and start over.
4. You can reuse all your supplies over and over and over again. Recolor them. Alter them. Change the shape, size, orientation.
5. There are a ton of free digital supplies out there. Yep, you read it right. FREE!
6. You do not have to print out your pictures to add them to layouts. You just use them straight from your digital camera. You can also edit them in creative ways.
7. Because your final product is digital, it is easy to share with family and friends. No need to drag your huge album around to show people your work. Just e-mail it!!
8. You can be so much more creative with good editing software than you can with paper. There is no limitation to this medium.
9. There is an amazing group of women (and a few men) involved in this hobby, and they are right there on-line whenever you need them. No need to go to a crop.
10. Did I mention no mess?
I could go on, but I will rest my case and leave it to you to decide if you are a paper or digi gal! (Or maybe you are hybrid, but that is a whole 'nother post!)
If you are thinking digi might be your thing there are a few things that you need to be able to get into the game. Obviously you need a computer and a digital camera. You need some sort of basic photo editing-type software. A good one that is not terribly expensive is Photoshop Elements. It is the baby brother to the huge -- and expensive -- Photoshop program. But it has great functionality, and the learning curve is not terribly steep. If your budget is super tight, Paint.net and Gimp are both free. I have heard that Gimp is feature rich, but pretty complicated. Paint.net is supposed to be great!
Once you have all of the aforementioned in place you are almost ready to get started. All you need now is pictures to scrap and your supplies. Digi supplies are just like paper supplies, just in a digital format. Where do you get this stuff? Well, I am glad you asked. There are literally a gabillion digi scrapping sites out there anxious to sell you their stuff. Two of my favorites are Plaindigitalwrapper and Scrapbookgraphics. I am a Creative Team Member for both sites and can vouch that they sell quality stuff. However, since you are new to this, lets start with freebies!!!! The best place to go for freebies is Ikea Goddess. She combs tons of digi-scrapping blogs everyday and posts the best freebies she finds for you to download. So, go to her site, troll around and download some things that catch your eye.
Now that you have supplies and photos you are ready to start. Open up your editing program. Bring in a background paper and start placing all of the things on your paper that you would like. How this is done varies from program to program. If you have no idea how to use your program, Google it. There are tutorials out there to get you started.
Well, those are the very basics. I am going to leave you with just a few more links.
The hub of the digiscrap community is digishoptalk. There are amazing forums to answer any questions you might have. Another good idea is to browse through the gallery to see some amazing digi layouts in person.
Hummiesworld is specifically geared towards PSE users (Photoshop Elements), but she has some great general tutorials. This site is where I got my start, and I recommend it for beginners.
Digiscrapping is for those who would like to preserve their memories in a scrapbook-type style, but for whatever reason do not want to work with traditional paper supplies. I do not want to bag on my fellow sister scrapbookers who work in paper, but for me the advantages to digital scrapping are numerous:
1. No mess! You don't have to drag out your supplies and pack them back up when finished.
2. The only storage you need is on your hard drive.
3. It is goof proof. Don't like what you just did? Hit undo and start over.
4. You can reuse all your supplies over and over and over again. Recolor them. Alter them. Change the shape, size, orientation.
5. There are a ton of free digital supplies out there. Yep, you read it right. FREE!
6. You do not have to print out your pictures to add them to layouts. You just use them straight from your digital camera. You can also edit them in creative ways.
7. Because your final product is digital, it is easy to share with family and friends. No need to drag your huge album around to show people your work. Just e-mail it!!
8. You can be so much more creative with good editing software than you can with paper. There is no limitation to this medium.
9. There is an amazing group of women (and a few men) involved in this hobby, and they are right there on-line whenever you need them. No need to go to a crop.
10. Did I mention no mess?
I could go on, but I will rest my case and leave it to you to decide if you are a paper or digi gal! (Or maybe you are hybrid, but that is a whole 'nother post!)
If you are thinking digi might be your thing there are a few things that you need to be able to get into the game. Obviously you need a computer and a digital camera. You need some sort of basic photo editing-type software. A good one that is not terribly expensive is Photoshop Elements. It is the baby brother to the huge -- and expensive -- Photoshop program. But it has great functionality, and the learning curve is not terribly steep. If your budget is super tight, Paint.net and Gimp are both free. I have heard that Gimp is feature rich, but pretty complicated. Paint.net is supposed to be great!
Once you have all of the aforementioned in place you are almost ready to get started. All you need now is pictures to scrap and your supplies. Digi supplies are just like paper supplies, just in a digital format. Where do you get this stuff? Well, I am glad you asked. There are literally a gabillion digi scrapping sites out there anxious to sell you their stuff. Two of my favorites are Plaindigitalwrapper and Scrapbookgraphics. I am a Creative Team Member for both sites and can vouch that they sell quality stuff. However, since you are new to this, lets start with freebies!!!! The best place to go for freebies is Ikea Goddess. She combs tons of digi-scrapping blogs everyday and posts the best freebies she finds for you to download. So, go to her site, troll around and download some things that catch your eye.
Now that you have supplies and photos you are ready to start. Open up your editing program. Bring in a background paper and start placing all of the things on your paper that you would like. How this is done varies from program to program. If you have no idea how to use your program, Google it. There are tutorials out there to get you started.
Well, those are the very basics. I am going to leave you with just a few more links.
The hub of the digiscrap community is digishoptalk. There are amazing forums to answer any questions you might have. Another good idea is to browse through the gallery to see some amazing digi layouts in person.
Hummiesworld is specifically geared towards PSE users (Photoshop Elements), but she has some great general tutorials. This site is where I got my start, and I recommend it for beginners.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The First Years Sippy Cups
My splurge at Target last week: Hefty Zoo Pals Cups and Lids. You get 14 8-ounce cups for $2. They’re extremely disposable and kinda small for my crowd. Kinda flimsy (like a thin film of Styrofoam over paper). It’s hard to get lid on tight without two hands, which not all of us have all the time.
I think I’ll stick with The First Years “disposable” cups and lids, which are hard plastic, go in the dishwasher and hold 10 ounces. They are more expensive, but they last forever. Problem: you have to buy lids as often as your kid chews on them and ruins them, but they still aren’t a bad deal. I love these because I don’t have to also keep track of a rubber stopper like I have to with regular sippy cups.
AND The First Years cups hold soda without exploding or leaking (as long as your kid doesn’t BLOW into them, God help me, because then you have a true fountain drink on your hands).
I think I’ll stick with The First Years “disposable” cups and lids, which are hard plastic, go in the dishwasher and hold 10 ounces. They are more expensive, but they last forever. Problem: you have to buy lids as often as your kid chews on them and ruins them, but they still aren’t a bad deal. I love these because I don’t have to also keep track of a rubber stopper like I have to with regular sippy cups.
AND The First Years cups hold soda without exploding or leaking (as long as your kid doesn’t BLOW into them, God help me, because then you have a true fountain drink on your hands).
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