My house looks like I am growing a mini Rachel Zoe (many shameless references to her to follow). Except Rachel Zoe probably does not tell her mother that she pooped on the floor.
Monday my sister-in-law gave us a huge bag of kid clothes and shoes, including leotards and never-worn Dora underwear. It was like we won the lottery.
Tuesday I went to Ellen’s. It was BANANAS how much clothing she had in her basement for 5 kids … and she had already gotten rid of a lot. I took some cute stuff for all my kids’ future needs. AND my mom brought me a bag of magazines from my fabulous Aunt Cathy … Oprah, Bazaar, Vanity Fair, People. I was SHUTTING IT DOWN (which, in my world, means I locked the kids out of the bathroom and had a good read for about 5 minutes)!
Wednesday we got home from Leigh’s to find a little chair, a princess coloring pad TO DIE FOR and a bag of girlie stuff like wands, tiaras, leotards, princess heels from my friend Ambre and her daughter Amatista.
It ALMOST makes me want to drop 20 pounds and go vintage clothes shopping. But I am currently having a love affair with Russell Stover dark chocolate coconut creams. I like to buy the poor little misfit ones because they are unwanted (and cheap).
Who else watches The Rachel Zoe Project? Dontcha think Taylor is good at her job, but a total witch? Poor Brad needs some serious training and a little coddling. Doesn’t she know that he could become her gay husband?
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
A Poem ... Because I'm Deep and Stuff
Antithesis
By Lorri Barrier
I am large in my skin
I make no apology
This belly grew three babies
Why should it be flat?
It curves with the memory of the womb.
These breasts fed three babies
Why should they be pert?
They swell with the memory of milk.
These hips carried three children
Why should they be slim?
They are full with the memory of life.
My bones are secret under flesh
My skin plump and white and fine
Mine is the face of Botticelli
Mine is the water of the Nile
Mine is the shape of things forbidden
Daughter of Gaia, grown beautiful and wild.
By Lorri Barrier
I am large in my skin
I make no apology
This belly grew three babies
Why should it be flat?
It curves with the memory of the womb.
These breasts fed three babies
Why should they be pert?
They swell with the memory of milk.
These hips carried three children
Why should they be slim?
They are full with the memory of life.
My bones are secret under flesh
My skin plump and white and fine
Mine is the face of Botticelli
Mine is the water of the Nile
Mine is the shape of things forbidden
Daughter of Gaia, grown beautiful and wild.
Monday, September 29, 2008
CAMRA Act of 2004 = Waste of Money!
This makes me feel a whole lot better about buying a fancy coffee once a week ...
From July 2008 Parents Magazine
“The Children and Media Research Advancement (CAMRA) act would authorize $95 million to support research into the effects of TV, computer games, and other media on children. First introduced in 2004 by Senators Joe Lieberman, Hillary Rodham Clinton and Sam Brownback, the measure has made little progress so far. But its sponsors say there’s a chance that an updated proposal will be considered this year. Show your support by contacting your elected officials.”
Duh. I don’t even have a 4-year college degree and I could tell you that less TV and more activity will make healthier kids, both physically and mentally.
Now, last time I checked, the USA was in DEBT. Where are we getting $95 million for such a stupid thing when our health care needs a tune-up, people are sucking money out of the welfare, disability and unemployment systems and kids are going hungry?
Man, it’s crap like this that REALLY makes me want to throw an Adult Content rating on this blog and go to town with the F-word!
But no. I am working on going Zen or Buddhist or some other kind of thing where I am a more calm person. Wish me luck. Or pray for me. Or whatever.
Updated 4/17/12: Michelle Obama's anti-obesity program for kids, anyone? Do we not all know how calories and exercise and slothing work by now?
From July 2008 Parents Magazine
“The Children and Media Research Advancement (CAMRA) act would authorize $95 million to support research into the effects of TV, computer games, and other media on children. First introduced in 2004 by Senators Joe Lieberman, Hillary Rodham Clinton and Sam Brownback, the measure has made little progress so far. But its sponsors say there’s a chance that an updated proposal will be considered this year. Show your support by contacting your elected officials.”
Duh. I don’t even have a 4-year college degree and I could tell you that less TV and more activity will make healthier kids, both physically and mentally.
Now, last time I checked, the USA was in DEBT. Where are we getting $95 million for such a stupid thing when our health care needs a tune-up, people are sucking money out of the welfare, disability and unemployment systems and kids are going hungry?
Man, it’s crap like this that REALLY makes me want to throw an Adult Content rating on this blog and go to town with the F-word!
But no. I am working on going Zen or Buddhist or some other kind of thing where I am a more calm person. Wish me luck. Or pray for me. Or whatever.
Updated 4/17/12: Michelle Obama's anti-obesity program for kids, anyone? Do we not all know how calories and exercise and slothing work by now?
Sunday, September 28, 2008
So You Think I'M Freaky?!
Okay, so there’s this thing called Elimination Communication. It sounds like it’s when a contestant on Project Runway or Top Model is told in a nice way that they won’t be continuing on to the next round and to pack their belongings.
What it REALLY means is when you’re with your kid 24/7 (yeah, like I am, so don’t even start with me on that part) and you can tell when they have to pee or take a dump. Instead of letting them do it in a diaper and changing it right away, as we all do (yeah, right), they are NOT WEARING A DIAPER. You are teaching a teeny weeny baby to potty train.
Look, I STILL have issues from when I was barely 2 years old and my dad would make me sit on the pot until I produced something, and I’m NOT talking about a hit musical here.
Is the point to save the environment by not washing or throwing away diapers? How would, for instance, someone who was ME do this? As it is, I pay one of the boys a dime to accompany Callie to the potty if Eva is sleeping on me or if I’m working on this world-renowned blog.
You obviously can’t do this and WORK (I have to add the words “outside the home” to be politically correct) because a daycare provider would laugh in your face. My parents would kick my ass if I came to visit and didn’t have a diaper on my kid. You can’t tell a 3-month-old, “I see your poopy-grunty face, but I’m doing dishes. Could you hold on?”
Sounds like a big ole mess to me.
If you do this with your kid, please enlighten me.
Then there’s this thing called Lotus birth where you keep the placenta attached to the baby after the kid is born until the umbilical cord naturally falls off. This is the kind of thing my daughters-in-law will be doing and castigating me for NOT doing. I’ll say, “But I breastfed for a long time and did the family bed and …” But they will cut me off with dirty, accusing looks.
Everyone I meet does something I would NEVER do, but for them it is normal. If we have learned nothing else, it should be that we are ALL freaky in some way. Don’t you love that?!
What it REALLY means is when you’re with your kid 24/7 (yeah, like I am, so don’t even start with me on that part) and you can tell when they have to pee or take a dump. Instead of letting them do it in a diaper and changing it right away, as we all do (yeah, right), they are NOT WEARING A DIAPER. You are teaching a teeny weeny baby to potty train.
Look, I STILL have issues from when I was barely 2 years old and my dad would make me sit on the pot until I produced something, and I’m NOT talking about a hit musical here.
Is the point to save the environment by not washing or throwing away diapers? How would, for instance, someone who was ME do this? As it is, I pay one of the boys a dime to accompany Callie to the potty if Eva is sleeping on me or if I’m working on this world-renowned blog.
You obviously can’t do this and WORK (I have to add the words “outside the home” to be politically correct) because a daycare provider would laugh in your face. My parents would kick my ass if I came to visit and didn’t have a diaper on my kid. You can’t tell a 3-month-old, “I see your poopy-grunty face, but I’m doing dishes. Could you hold on?”
Sounds like a big ole mess to me.
If you do this with your kid, please enlighten me.
Then there’s this thing called Lotus birth where you keep the placenta attached to the baby after the kid is born until the umbilical cord naturally falls off. This is the kind of thing my daughters-in-law will be doing and castigating me for NOT doing. I’ll say, “But I breastfed for a long time and did the family bed and …” But they will cut me off with dirty, accusing looks.
Everyone I meet does something I would NEVER do, but for them it is normal. If we have learned nothing else, it should be that we are ALL freaky in some way. Don’t you love that?!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
A Failure at Smoking
I promised I’d tell the cigarettes story (see 8/4/08 post), so here it is.
On Father’s Day Aron had to leave at 5 p.m. for the airport (did I mention his company couldn’t care less about holidays, birthdays, anniversaries?). We had been on a weekend vacation, so by the time we got back in town, there was no time for Aron to see his dad. I decided to pack up the kids and take them over to see my father-in-law. They were tired and Callie had a massive fit (think Linda Blair in “The Exorcist” … what was her name in that movie?) as we were leaving. I was already stressed, and this pushed me over some imaginary edge.
I stopped at a gas station on the way home and (yes, on a Sunday … gasp!) bought Marlboro Ultra Lights 100s in a box. I hadn’t smoked in about 10 years. I went home and had 2 drags out on the deck, thinking it would make me suddenly stress-free. Instead I felt like a fugitive … if you smoke these days you are a social pariah. ESPECIALLY if you have kids.
I tried again a few days later, but it just made me stinky and tasted disgusting. Oh, and the kids gave me a whole rash of crap about it. This is why I love the show “Madmen” … back in the 60s it was okay for a mom to be on Valium and smokes to get through her day! These days I’d give my left boob for a simple Prozac, except I’m not truly depressed.
The cigs were still in the van when we took our last-minute 3-week trip to Phoenix BY VAN. In Albuquerque we came upon a homeless woman, and the kids were fascinated. We chatted and I asked her if she needed anything (besides a HOME, duh). She (Vicki) said she’d love 3 bucks for some cigarettes. I asked if she’d smoke my Ultra Lights with 2 missing from the pack and she was thrilled. We also gave her some money and a bottled water. She told me how neat it was to have so many kids these days and to keep having them if they brought me so much joy (my mom probably wants to hunt this woman down and shoot her right now!).
So here’s the way I see it: When I was at a low point, I bought something that I thought might help me. It didn’t. But it did give SOMEONE a little bit of happiness (and I hope to God no cancer).
P.S. Also … in a rest stop bathroom on our way to Phoenix I spotted a magazine face-down on the sink. There was no one around, so I picked it up and it was the current People Magazine. I LOVE this magazine and someday when I am rich I will get a subscription. The Universe gave ME a magazine. Then it gave Vicki some cigarettes.
On Father’s Day Aron had to leave at 5 p.m. for the airport (did I mention his company couldn’t care less about holidays, birthdays, anniversaries?). We had been on a weekend vacation, so by the time we got back in town, there was no time for Aron to see his dad. I decided to pack up the kids and take them over to see my father-in-law. They were tired and Callie had a massive fit (think Linda Blair in “The Exorcist” … what was her name in that movie?) as we were leaving. I was already stressed, and this pushed me over some imaginary edge.
I stopped at a gas station on the way home and (yes, on a Sunday … gasp!) bought Marlboro Ultra Lights 100s in a box. I hadn’t smoked in about 10 years. I went home and had 2 drags out on the deck, thinking it would make me suddenly stress-free. Instead I felt like a fugitive … if you smoke these days you are a social pariah. ESPECIALLY if you have kids.
I tried again a few days later, but it just made me stinky and tasted disgusting. Oh, and the kids gave me a whole rash of crap about it. This is why I love the show “Madmen” … back in the 60s it was okay for a mom to be on Valium and smokes to get through her day! These days I’d give my left boob for a simple Prozac, except I’m not truly depressed.
The cigs were still in the van when we took our last-minute 3-week trip to Phoenix BY VAN. In Albuquerque we came upon a homeless woman, and the kids were fascinated. We chatted and I asked her if she needed anything (besides a HOME, duh). She (Vicki) said she’d love 3 bucks for some cigarettes. I asked if she’d smoke my Ultra Lights with 2 missing from the pack and she was thrilled. We also gave her some money and a bottled water. She told me how neat it was to have so many kids these days and to keep having them if they brought me so much joy (my mom probably wants to hunt this woman down and shoot her right now!).
So here’s the way I see it: When I was at a low point, I bought something that I thought might help me. It didn’t. But it did give SOMEONE a little bit of happiness (and I hope to God no cancer).
P.S. Also … in a rest stop bathroom on our way to Phoenix I spotted a magazine face-down on the sink. There was no one around, so I picked it up and it was the current People Magazine. I LOVE this magazine and someday when I am rich I will get a subscription. The Universe gave ME a magazine. Then it gave Vicki some cigarettes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)