Sunday, September 28, 2008

So You Think I'M Freaky?!

Okay, so there’s this thing called Elimination Communication. It sounds like it’s when a contestant on Project Runway or Top Model is told in a nice way that they won’t be continuing on to the next round and to pack their belongings.

What it REALLY means is when you’re with your kid 24/7 (yeah, like I am, so don’t even start with me on that part) and you can tell when they have to pee or take a dump. Instead of letting them do it in a diaper and changing it right away, as we all do (yeah, right), they are NOT WEARING A DIAPER. You are teaching a teeny weeny baby to potty train.

Look, I STILL have issues from when I was barely 2 years old and my dad would make me sit on the pot until I produced something, and I’m NOT talking about a hit musical here.

Is the point to save the environment by not washing or throwing away diapers? How would, for instance, someone who was ME do this? As it is, I pay one of the boys a dime to accompany Callie to the potty if Eva is sleeping on me or if I’m working on this world-renowned blog.

You obviously can’t do this and WORK (I have to add the words “outside the home” to be politically correct) because a daycare provider would laugh in your face. My parents would kick my ass if I came to visit and didn’t have a diaper on my kid. You can’t tell a 3-month-old, “I see your poopy-grunty face, but I’m doing dishes. Could you hold on?”

Sounds like a big ole mess to me.

If you do this with your kid, please enlighten me.

Then there’s this thing called Lotus birth where you keep the placenta attached to the baby after the kid is born until the umbilical cord naturally falls off. This is the kind of thing my daughters-in-law will be doing and castigating me for NOT doing. I’ll say, “But I breastfed for a long time and did the family bed and …” But they will cut me off with dirty, accusing looks.

Everyone I meet does something I would NEVER do, but for them it is normal. If we have learned nothing else, it should be that we are ALL freaky in some way. Don’t you love that?!

2 comments:

  1. No, no, no! Your future DIL's will have a Lotus birth and EC from birth, holding the baby over the potty with the cord and placenta still attacted as your son breastfeeds the baby. Because that will be cool and crunchy then, in, like, ten billion years! ;)

    Laura from church

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  2. No, you're not that freaky. I actually know other people who practice the same things as you (I think they're all from LLL though. Does that count? hee hee). EC and Lotus Birth are pretty freaky. Don't know anyone who's done either, but am curious...

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