8/21/08 Joel called Michael “diarrhea” and Michael called him … “DUMBarrhea”
June 2008 Callie (age 3), handing me her too-small paper diaper, “Um, Mommy. This does not work on my body.”
September 1 quotes …
Joel, age 7: “Michael, I’m God and you’re the Devil and I’m gonna boot you out of Heaven.”
Michael, age 5: “If you want to know how to spell cinnamon why dontcha get yourselves killed so you can ask God?” Well, that’s ONE way.
Callie, age 3: “And no trains did run over us. Did you think a train did run overed us?”
Eva, age 8 months: “Ma. Da.”
P.S. Reader, if you ever find a typo on this blog, for the love of all that is holy, please leave me a comment.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Lonely Travel Widows?
The neighbor who reports everyone to The City (no, I’m not going to call her the Lawn Nazi) just told me she imagines I get lonely down here in my house all day with the kids.
This woman has the cutest tiny dog, and Callie sprints from the house to go pet it when they walk by. So I have to follow to make sure she’s fine or else The Woman will report me not only to The City but also to The State. She already has expressed concern that my kids are going to randomly run into the street, even though I am always out front with them.
I told her every day is so different and we are so busy and usually on-the-go that lonely doesn’t occur to me when Aron’s in town. Six o’clock usually comes too fast … and I realize HOLY CRAP I’d better get something cooking for dinner!
Lonely? Not really. Some nights when Aron was traveling and the kids were happy in front of the TV-sitter (thanks for that cute phrase, Miss Chris), I would feel a little lonely, but it was nothing a game of Chuzzle and a trip to Pepperidge Farm wouldn’t cure.
This woman has the cutest tiny dog, and Callie sprints from the house to go pet it when they walk by. So I have to follow to make sure she’s fine or else The Woman will report me not only to The City but also to The State. She already has expressed concern that my kids are going to randomly run into the street, even though I am always out front with them.
I told her every day is so different and we are so busy and usually on-the-go that lonely doesn’t occur to me when Aron’s in town. Six o’clock usually comes too fast … and I realize HOLY CRAP I’d better get something cooking for dinner!
Lonely? Not really. Some nights when Aron was traveling and the kids were happy in front of the TV-sitter (thanks for that cute phrase, Miss Chris), I would feel a little lonely, but it was nothing a game of Chuzzle and a trip to Pepperidge Farm wouldn’t cure.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Freaky #4: Cloth Diapering (Nighttime)
Who else owns stock in Huggies?
I just paid $17 for 40 Disney Princess Pull-Ups at Target and felt like total schmoe after I did it. Who knew potential wetting of the bed could be so profitable?! At between 35 and 45 cents per night, you’re paying about $150 per year.
The alternative is cleaning up a peed-in bed every night. Even if you have a waterproof cover under the main sheet, you STILL have to change the kid, take off the pee sheet, put on a new sheet, and wash the pee sheet. Or be lazy like me and just put a towel under the pee kid until morning. Joel never wet the bed; Michael did maybe once. I’m telling you that GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT.
“But, Kerrie, you use those super-fun cloth diapers. Why do you buy those landfill-space hogs called Pull-Ups?”
BECAUSE THERE ARE NO GREAT CLOTH NIGHTTIME DIAPERS. And, I’ve heard, if you find a good one that costs a mint, it takes, like 3 years for the darn thing to actually get dry after you wash it.
I like the idea of those bed-wetting alarms. You hook it up to your kid’s underpants and if they start to pee, this alarm wakes them up and scares the crap out of them (well, let’s hope not).
P.S. Happy Ex-Anniversary, Mom and Dad.
I just paid $17 for 40 Disney Princess Pull-Ups at Target and felt like total schmoe after I did it. Who knew potential wetting of the bed could be so profitable?! At between 35 and 45 cents per night, you’re paying about $150 per year.
The alternative is cleaning up a peed-in bed every night. Even if you have a waterproof cover under the main sheet, you STILL have to change the kid, take off the pee sheet, put on a new sheet, and wash the pee sheet. Or be lazy like me and just put a towel under the pee kid until morning. Joel never wet the bed; Michael did maybe once. I’m telling you that GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT.
“But, Kerrie, you use those super-fun cloth diapers. Why do you buy those landfill-space hogs called Pull-Ups?”
BECAUSE THERE ARE NO GREAT CLOTH NIGHTTIME DIAPERS. And, I’ve heard, if you find a good one that costs a mint, it takes, like 3 years for the darn thing to actually get dry after you wash it.
I like the idea of those bed-wetting alarms. You hook it up to your kid’s underpants and if they start to pee, this alarm wakes them up and scares the crap out of them (well, let’s hope not).
P.S. Happy Ex-Anniversary, Mom and Dad.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Do What's Right for YOUR Family!
If you take NOTHING else from this blog, PLEASE let it be that my lifestyle is not for everyone. It’s also not for those with pacemakers, high blood pressure, mental illness or high cholesterol.
You have to be a SPECIAL kind of crazy to have a ton of kids and homeschool these days, but it works for our family.
Do what’s right for YOUR family.
You have to be a SPECIAL kind of crazy to have a ton of kids and homeschool these days, but it works for our family.
Do what’s right for YOUR family.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Reason #22 Why we Moved to the Country
I am a pretty cool neighbor. The rental Girls Next Door have late parties, I close my bedroom window. The rental family behind me parks their RV so it blocks the sidewalk, I don’t care. The family two doors away has a house that’s falling down from lack of repair, it doesn’t really affect me (until I try to sell my house, anyway).
But there’s an older woman up the street who is incensed by things like this, and it doesn’t help that she walks her dog 26 times a day and sees all neighborhood transgressions.
She also gets riled up about long grass. I may joke about being reported to The State, but this woman would seriously report me to The City for long grass if it ever got that bad. After Joel was born and we’d been at the hospital, the grass was long and she made some passive-aggressive comment then, too. It’s like, HELLO … we’re nurturing new life here. Kinda too busy to mess with the grass!
Let’s keep in mind that Aron was gone all summer long. If I wasn’t mowing religiously, I was paying teenage boys to do it. Now that Aron’s home, it’s been over 2 weeks since he mowed due to rain, plans, etc. It’s pretty scruffy right now.
So today I see her and the crossing guard lady talking and looking my way. I wave; they stare. When she catches up to me, she asks if Aron is gone this week. I say, “No. Why?” I know why, but I want to hear her say it so we can throw down.
(She’s got it in for me anyway since she taught Home Ec for years at a public school and I am a … GASP … homeschooler with hillbilly kids who don’t often wear shoes.)
Instead she says, while surveying the lawn, “Oh, I just hadn’t seen him and was wondering.” Sure you were.
Next time Aron leaves town for weeks on end in the summer, I’m gonna let it GROW and see how long it takes for a notice to appear on my front door! I’m so ornery.
But there’s an older woman up the street who is incensed by things like this, and it doesn’t help that she walks her dog 26 times a day and sees all neighborhood transgressions.
She also gets riled up about long grass. I may joke about being reported to The State, but this woman would seriously report me to The City for long grass if it ever got that bad. After Joel was born and we’d been at the hospital, the grass was long and she made some passive-aggressive comment then, too. It’s like, HELLO … we’re nurturing new life here. Kinda too busy to mess with the grass!
Let’s keep in mind that Aron was gone all summer long. If I wasn’t mowing religiously, I was paying teenage boys to do it. Now that Aron’s home, it’s been over 2 weeks since he mowed due to rain, plans, etc. It’s pretty scruffy right now.
So today I see her and the crossing guard lady talking and looking my way. I wave; they stare. When she catches up to me, she asks if Aron is gone this week. I say, “No. Why?” I know why, but I want to hear her say it so we can throw down.
(She’s got it in for me anyway since she taught Home Ec for years at a public school and I am a … GASP … homeschooler with hillbilly kids who don’t often wear shoes.)
Instead she says, while surveying the lawn, “Oh, I just hadn’t seen him and was wondering.” Sure you were.
Next time Aron leaves town for weeks on end in the summer, I’m gonna let it GROW and see how long it takes for a notice to appear on my front door! I’m so ornery.
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