Thursday, October 17, 2019

The Prospect Of Divorce May Not Be As Terrible As You Think




When we think about divorce, we often think about terrible consequences. Families being torn apart, hostilities between two who may have really loved each other at one point, as well as an aggressive and toxic blowback that always seems to affect the children worst of all. You may have read the title of this post and considered it rather incendiary, especially if you have a family member or friend who is going through this rough situation now.

But is there a written rule that states divorce has to be a horrible procedure which brings out the worst in people? Or do many allow that to happen by using the emotional situation as a means to release a torrent of toxic behavior, aggression, and hurt, all in the name of defending themselves from pain? Sure, none of us are immune to this, and this post will not try to float above you and try and label why every divorcee is in the wrong.

We simply wish to state that the process of divorce can even be a positive experience. Here’s why:

It’s Awakening, Thoroughly

When you think of divorce, you know it is the last stop between a married couple. This can help two people forget the lies they might have been telling each other, forget the aggression, forget the small passive comments they make, and actually begin to see the other person. Like a splash of cold water over the face, the prospect of divorce can be intimately worrying and sometimes signify a great life change. This means that as a foundational last resort, a couple may research how to save a marriage with trust issues, or how to work on their arguments, or how to better work towards keeping the family unit together. Like someone in a self-destructive set of behaviors realizing the need to exercise after being given their medical report, the prospect of divorce can be the careful push to help you salvage positivity.

Moving On

Moving on can be a positive thing, if scary. Sometimes, people simply are not the person they were when they married, and this can be normal. People change over decades, and we shouldn’t pretend otherwise. Sometimes, people can grow apart. It could be that a clean break, affable, professional, spurned by healthy conversation instead of a feiry reveal of infidelity can be important. It’s this somewhat ‘professional’ approach to things that can help you spare most of the aggression, and that can lead to a good thing.

Remaining Friends

Under-reported to the degree that it should be is the fact that many divorcees have managed to construct their lives anew while keeping in touch with their old marriage partner. There’s no reason or rule that states you cannot be civil, grow as people and stay friends. After the marriage, you begin to find you again, and sometimes that can help you live more positively, and learn to forgive. It will not be possible in all cases - but in the cases that apply, this can be a great thing.

With the following advice, you’re certain to understand that divorce can be a positive experience, through many different perspectives.

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