Setting An Example
From the moment
they establish perception, and as they grow up, kids look to their parents and
guardians for guidance on how to act and how to behave in different situations.
It's how they learn and comprehend appropriate behavior in various settings, so
it is important that you as a parent, set an exemplary standard of conduct. A
young child's mind is impressionable and very sensitive to any early experience
so it is paramount that you begin imparting wisdom from a very young age, and
interacting with your child so they can begin to understand the spoken language
and determine the meaning in facial expressions. You have to remember that you are a significant figure of influence. Therefore,
a large determining factor in your child's behavior is your own and how you've
reacted to situations in front of their eyes, so be understanding and patient
with your kids, and realize that you have had a large impact on how they
behave. There are, however, others factors at play which will be made
apparent through the course of this article.
Consider The Implications Of Behavior
Some acting out in
childhood is normal, and to be expected. Children are establishing their
character through using their voice and their actions so some communications
may not always appear to fit the norm, but this is simply a time of
self-discovery and self-expression. As a parent, you should be encouraging this
rather than stifling your child’s individuality. So where you can, and where
your child's behavior doesn't risk their own or the welfare of others, allow
this to unfold with words of advice here and there if you feel it is necessary.
As kids reach their teenage years and adolescence, you can expect a rebellious
phase of sorts. As pressures to fit in or to stand out mounts, so does the child's desire to show their ability to achieve
either one, and this can materialize
itself through, what you may refer to as, ‘bad behavior.’ ‘Bad behavior’ and
falling in with “the wrong crowd,” can
have more serious implications for the health of your child so it is important
to be supportive and vigilant should this occur. If you are concerned about
your child, consider booking them into a specialized drugs program or a rehab center in order to
get them the help they need if they have struggled with frustration, mental
health issues, a downward spiral into addiction and dependence and subsequent
bad behavior. It's crucial that you remember that there is hope and help to be found in situations such as these.
Incentives
Incentives work to
encourage your children to behave better, as they’re gaining from their good
behavior. Consider rewarding any good behavior
with praise and congratulations; you
could do this by making a reward system, or by displaying a behavioral chart in your home. Allow your children to make the chart and
display it a visible level in your kitchen, for example. Each time your child
engages in good behavior, or achieves an
accolade in school, then reward them with either a point on the chart or with a
small gift prize such as an edible sweet treat or a small cash sum. You can ask
your children which rewards they would prefer since you want to be optimizing
their desire to win the incentives and further the likelihood of them improving
their behavior. You want to promote good behavior, so by using the chart, you're allowing your child to keep note of
their progress, and if you have other children, then you're also encouraging a
healthy rivalry to achieve, and with any luck,
you should be able to improve their behaviors respectively.
Explanation
Before you ask
something of your child or want to tell
them to stop misbehaving, you must explain how their actions are impacting on
yourself or others. For example, if your child is misbehaving by being rude to
others around you, it's important to take your child quietly aside and explain
that their actions have consequences and their words can hurt others. By
explaining why you're unhappy with their actions, children are better able to
see your side and are far more likely to stop engaging in bad behavior this way
than if you had raised your voice and told them to “stop.” By explaining why you'd like them to stop and why you believe
they're misbehaving, either because they're tired of hungry, for example,
you're allowing your child to understand causation and effect. Tell your child
how you'd like them to behave in such situations and congratulate them when
they succeed in achieving this. Explanation allows your child to get a grip on
understanding what you expect of them,
and what behaviors you will not tolerate,
which ones will incur you telling them off, and which behavior results in them
being praised and rewarded.
Don't Punish
You won't teach
your children to be better behaved by enforcing punishment, instead, you're
simply communicating that your children should fear you. Consider removing some
privileges after repeated and calm warnings, like access to the games console or an earlier
bedtime, if bad behavior persists, then remove the items but ensure that you clearly state how these privileges can be
earned back. Try never to threaten your children with revocation of privileges without just
cause, and you shouldn't use this as a means to control your children
throughout the day. By all means, you can have a strike system, so that your
child can keep track of how many strikes they are accumulating, but ensure that
you stay true to the board. You don’t have to use gimmicks if you’d rather not.
However, if you favor doing so, then tell
your children that they’ve earned a strike for their bad behavior. If you've decided that a certain behavior warrants
removing their games console for 24 hours, then it’s important that you do not
stray from this regulation unless in extreme circumstances. Otherwise, your
child will not be able to grasp the system leading to confusion and frustration
fully, and in turn, there will be a higher likelihood of them misbehaving
further.
