So it seems I’m too Catholic for most Protestants; not Catholic enough for most Catholics; and pretty okay for most agnostics.
How did I come to this conclusion? Well, I’ve pondered it for a long time, and it seems to come down to percentages.
I’m going to develop a quiz for people to figure out how Catholic they are, and it would go something like this:
-5% Have you attended Mass every weekend and obligation day for 7 years but missed 4 Sundays for travel and vacation reasons?
+10% Do you severely honor the Sabbath? (no shopping or eating out!)
-25% Have you listened to “I Kissed a Girl” and liked it?
-10% Do you love rock and dance music?
+15% Do you practice NFP? Do you even know what I'm talking about?
+10% Do you have more than 2 kids? Bonus points if you go over 5 kids.
+10% Do you breastfeed?
-15% Do you love cuss words?
+20% Do you use a Catholic homeschool curriculum?
-5% Did you ever let your oldest son go to a Nazarene church with his friend on Wednesday nights?
-5% Do you dig Halloween?
-20% Subtract if you didn't give anything up for Lent last Easter.
-5% Like mine, do your kids have “secular, worldly” friends (like when they grow up they’re only gonna hang out with other Catholics)?
Well, I am at about 75% Catholic. So I am "better" than those in the 50% range and "worse" than the 90-100% people. I need to stick with people in the 70-80% range of Catholicism for the best bet at a real friendship.
Do you see how complicated we make religion?!
Simplified version for ALL religions/non-religions: Love God/Creator/Source. Love your neighbor/annoying friend/grumpy family member/everyone, a.k.a. is it so hard to just be polite, even if you can’t be totally kind? AND ... I don't care how Catholic you are if you are a crappy parent who is absent in the name of the Lord ... helping out at church all the time while your kids need you and can't reach you on any level :-(
I’ll work on this, too. Peace out.
*Originally posted 9/6/2008 and now we do virtual school through Kansas so take my points away on the Catholic homeschool curriculum thing but add like +1,000% since I now teach religious education and we go to Catholic co-op once a week! Woo hoo!
You could add so much to this! For example:
Do you sleep around while preaching at your friends that they will go to purgatory unless they get their butts to Confession?
Do you do volunteer work ... and not tell the world about it and post it on Instagram?
Have you met the Pope?
