Thursday, October 2, 2014

Funny and Offensive Product Review: #Jamberry Nails

Originally posted January 27, 2014 and updated now with a picture of how I can now put them on with no problems at all ... curved side to cuticle, people! I can't ever decide on my jamicure so I pretty much picked 4 from the accent sheets I send out as samples and then something different for each thumb! You can check out my site below under "Now I sell them here!" or come LIKE me on Facebook for more funny and real posts! I posted this and then started selling Jamberry the end of March and now am I Senior Lead Consultant! Exciting stuff!

Star-crossed on thumb, see below for other names

Atlantis on thumb, see below for other names

Pomegranate Pop, Mad Mod, Mind Games, Sunday Brunch

Before my friend enlightened me, I had never heard of these. Stay tuned for a perfectly offensive and hilarious photo of Eva at the end. Now I sell them here! Wanna buy some or book a party or join my team?

I used to love to paint my nails. I had all sorts of cool colors. I painted each nail a different color back in the 80s and was made fun of for it. It was not cool back then like it is now.

Then I had my first kiddo in 2001 and there went the nails. I was always happily nursing, changing diapers, washing diapers, doing dishes, etc. Nail polish took too long to dry and chipped off within a day. I have to really plan out when I paint my nails these days. If I want to look cute, I have to try to paint my nails right before I leave the house and NOT TOUCH ANYTHING. You know the drill. I pretty much don't have paint on my nails unless my girls paint them, and then it stays on until it all chips off.

So when I saw these wrap things I was intrigued. Honestly I just bought a sheet to help out my friend, who was doing a party. I said, "Sign me up for some of those Chevron pattern." No nail polish remover to be found in my house, so I could only pick the polish thoroughly off 3 nails and here you go:

Yeah, they kind of rock. And they have a houndstooth pattern that matches a dress I have. And a herringbone pattern. And this whole cool floral section (Mom: hint hint). I'm sure it's no surprise that my favorite section on the Jamberry site is Graphic Punch!

These are so easy to put on. Cutting them to fit is the hardest part and you get to be a pro at it. They have tiny sizes for little kids. Callie just got 3 sheets for her birthday and she applies them herself. Clean off your nail, cut to size, warm a bit with a dryer or a Jamberry heater, stick on, heat some more. It's been 4 days and my nails have been through hot showers, dishes galore and life in general chasing the kids around ... not to mention tons of typing, friends. And the nails look the same. So if you balk at the $15 per sheet price, don't. You would pay way more in a salon and they probably would not last as long. Oh, and you would not have so many print options!

Here's another photo. Yes, I'm holding a knife. It's a fabulous knife I got Mr. Kerrie for Christmas and I love it. You have to take funny pictures with your Jamberry Nails on; that's just the way it is. Like holding a hammer or a beer or a baby bottle.

Thanks for sitting through my glowing review. Here is your reward. I like to think of it as a big FU to all those people who used to make fun of me for doing my nails different colors in the 1980s.
NO! My angel is NOT flipping you off, dear reader! Joel did one Jamberry nail for Eva tonight. He chose this nail because it was the only one all the polish had chipped off of. I had her model her special nail wrap for Angeliina. That's face paint under her eye, so don't be alarmed! She looks tough but she's a cream puff!