Monday, August 24, 2009

The Pregnancy Card

This will teach me to brag about my high pregnancy energy level and how great B12 vitamins are.

One weekend recently I was sooo sluggish. Aron was trying to make spaghetti sauce from our garden’s tomatoes, and he also picked buttloads of green beans to can. I was like, NO HELP AT ALL. I’m all big now, and the baby is sucking all my energy and forcing me to rest. And jack around on Facebook. And clean out my e-mail. And try to promote the e-book, which has sold all of one copy. But don’t feel sorry for me. I’ll be alright (sniffle).

So Aron tells some practical stranger at work how I pulled the Pregnancy Card over the weekend. He said he doesn’t mind since I NEED to rest and all that, but that he’s used to me being 8 ½ months pregnant with a kid on my hip while mowing the lawn. That’s sweet.

It’s nice to know he thinks I’m usually Wonder Woman (or the mighty Isis), but the dude has to realize I’m 38 years old carrying his FIFTH love child. I told him I’m gonna play the Pregnancy Card until the baby is born. Then I’m gonna pull the “I Just Gave Birth” card … and fight for the baby boy name I really want (Henry). If he won’t let me name the potential-boy Henry, I’ll pretend like I’m hemorrhaging and am being called to the light.

Yeah, yeah, I know. The previous name was Max. But I’m a Gemini and change my mind a lot. I’m also not getting a 12-passenger van when the baby comes because I think we can somehow all cram into the minivan. Aron needs to realize it’s a miracle I haven’t changed my mind about HIM in the last 14 years.