I read this book called “True Mom Confessions: Real Moms Get Real” and it’s helped me with some of my judgmental attitudes. Below is a quote from the book. There’s also a web site you can check out. Here’s my personal favorite … the best for last and all that.
“When my daughter was a newborn, an older cousin asked, ‘Do you ever just sit there and hold her while she’s sleeping and just watch her? All day?’ I sheepishly answered yes. She said, ‘It’s okay, you know. To just sit and watch them. I did it all the time. My house still hasn’t resumed complete order and there are still dishes in the sink.’ Her daughter was eleven at the time. It was probably the best advice I got. Now my daughter is two and sometimes I still just watch her. When she’s sleeping or playing or running outside, I just stop. And watch. There are still dishes in my sink, too.”
This is me and I get SICK of people (especially those close to me) asking me how I can stand to have my kid stuck on me while he/she sleeps.
And yet why can’t I ask THEM, “How can you stand to be so heartless as to not be able to comprehend why I would DESIRE to hold my own child? The housework and other meaningless crap will always be there, but your kid will not. Stop being such an ass and try to LEARN from me.”
Instead I say, "I was 30 when I had my first kid. I got all the 'me time' and partying out of the way in my twenties and now concentrate on my kids and my marriage."