Saturday, May 2, 2009

Women Annoy Me

A friend from high school who is now a Facebook pal told me she enjoys my Dennis Miller-like rants. I was pretty flattered. But you really haven’t seen anything yet. Maybe a little taste of the real me in the post “A Surprise Unexpected Accidental Mistake” … which I’m pretty sure annoys many people who don’t like taking responsibility.

Women really annoy me with their “I should get equal pay for equal work and the guy should clean house alongside me [I agree with these things, by the way], and then they blink their big doe eyes when they become pregnant and go, “I don’t know HOW that happened. Hmmm. I could’ve SWORN he told me he had a vasectomy. I must’ve been listening wrong.” Look, even if your tubes are tied and you use 10 layers of condoms, ALWAYS ASSUME YOU COULD GET PREGNANT. It’ll just make your life easier.

Watch out, readers, because I’m even more opinionated than I’ve been letting on. I just can’t let my true self show until I can afford a bodyguard.

By the way, Happy First Communion today, Joel! Hopefully we’re eating a nice meat/cheese tray and a nice fruit tray and a nice big cake with lots of family and friends.