Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Kool-aid Kocktail

I’m not a drinker; never have been. But lately I’m feeling hormonal and on edge and am raising my voice too much and I WANT A DRINK.

But I can’t have drinks. Rather, I WON'T have drinks. My life is crazy enough without growing a kid born with fetal alcohol syndrome and knowing it was my own damn fault. I like to keep my fetuses nice and healthy, if I can.

To have a healthy baby, I think my stress level needs to not be too insane. So instead of alcohol or pot or cigarettes or Valium, I turn to sugar. Sugar and music.

Chocolate chip cookies are always a good bet for putting me in an excellent mood. Same for a tall mocha coffee or a Mr. Pibb. And some rock and roll. Or some oldies. Or some current naughty pop music.

Lately I make up a batch of good old-fashioned grape or cherry or strawberry or orange Kool-aid in a tall Old Spaghetti Factory (cherish it if you have one of these restaurants in your town, you lucky dog) glass with lots of small ice.

What makes you feel better when drugs are not an option?

Aron will say, “go fishing.” Paul will probably say, “meditation” … which I’ve tried and I can’t seem to sit still. Ellen will say, “organize something.” Eva will say, “pray.” My dad will say, “go for a walk” and Mom might say, “watch a TV show where their lives are much crazier than yours.”