Saturday, October 18, 2008

My Kingdom for a Decent Nursing Bra!

*Warning: Female Content (it’s like Adult Content, only I’m politely telling my dad he won’t want to read this one)

So after only 9 months my $60 nursing bra is getting to the point where it looks like I have 4 boobs. Even on the highest setting, I have to keep adjusting. It’s like when a guy adjusts his, um, AREA, only it’s worse when I have to reach INTO my shirt and pull each of those puppies away from the center of my chest. They tend to migrate toward each other like old people to Florida.

My question to you is this: Can anyone make a decent bra for us poor, well-endowed women?

Here’s a helpful bit of info for nursing bra makers: Already-large breasts full of milk are HEAVY. It’s like putting 2 gallons of milk into a chiffon handkerchief. Nursing bras should be made of Teflon or something similar.

I know those of you with small breasts generally wish for larger ones (as evidenced by the major increase in breast augmentation surgery), but I am telling you there are many times I wish I could be YOU! My husband’s cousin wore one of those cute Glamour Mama nursing tank tops when she had her baby, and I was so jealous! Those tanks would NEVER hold my goodies in place.

So right now I have a Bravado bra … and we had a good relationship until it turned on me recently. Once I had a Liz Lange bra that I marched into Target and bought. It was underwire and worked great until the damn wires poked through the fabric and eventually had to be taken out = no support. Aron even sewed my bra to keep the wires from defecting, but no dice (you gotta picture my sweet husband sewing my bra!).

I’ve been saying for 7 years that Victoria’s Secret needs nursing bras, and I’ve heard they recently started carrying some! If they have support + coverage, I will be their best customer. Throw in something sexy in several colors, and I may even consider becoming a franchisee!

My line of nursing bras would be called “Nursie Bag Kerriers.” Look, my parents always said they named my Kerrie for a reason. They should’ve spelled it “Carry.”

originally posted 10/18/2008 and is still relevant 3.5 years later!
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