Saying Yes to My Family and No to a Lot of Other Things (and my new house keeps surprising me)

This weekend, Friday through Monday, is the fishing trip my husband and his identical twin brother go on. They have always brought kids with them, whoever wanted to come. Sometimes my oldest daughter goes, but my youngest has never wanted to. This year my oldest decided she wanted a girls weekend. This meant my husband took his 3 sons (remember My Three Sons? such a great show!) and his twin took his 3 sons. This year his oldest, a girl who is in college now, also went. That's 9 ways of crazy and fun, in case you lost track.

FRIDAY
They got a late start to the lake, and the girls and I just puttered around some. I proofread until I decided that was dumb because I wanted to hang with my girls. So I bought The Devil Wears Prada with my Google Play credit and found a movie the girls really ended up enjoying. We keep making jokes about it ... "That's all." ... "I starve myself until I feel like I'm going to faint, then I eat a cube of cheese." We discussed guys and what NOT to do. We went to bed around midnight.

Sidebar: we found out last weekend from the previous owner of our home that we not only have pear trees but also peaches and apples and ... mulberries. This is significant to me because we had mulberries in our backyard when I was growing up and they were heavenly. To have my kids also experience this amazingness ... it's just one more sign that this house was supposed to be ours. Oh, and there is a lilac bush (always has been one of my fave flowers) right outside my bedroom window! This house keeps surprising me with messages from beyond!

SATURDAY
We had a bunch of errands to run quickly. First up was to get a mocha frappuccino light with coconut milk from Starbucks because I NEVER go there anymore and Joel had gotten me a gift card for Mother's Day. Then PetSmart for super worms for the bearded dragon. Found a great cat to adopt but it was already taken. Boo. HyVee for some sale things and to stock up for the 24-hour challenge the girls were going to do later. Target for ingredients for SLIME. Slime is our life.

Sam had a soccer game at 3:30 so I met the guys at a church in Spring Hill, KS to pick him up and we headed out for his final game of the season = a big win! He played goalie the first half and rocked it on the field the second half. He says soccer is his life and that's why I made it a priority to grab him and take him ... then return him back to the church so they could all go back to the lake.

Mommy's little goalie!

The 24-hour challenge started at 6:30 p.m. It's when you stay in one room for 24 hours and you can't come out for anything. Location = my bedroom since it is the only room with a connected bathroom. The girls made the best slime of their lives, they said. They hung out in their dad's closet, which contains our fireproof box. Yeah, the one I had to lug to a locksmith a while back since I had lost BOTH keys.

Pizza ... Canadian bacon is the way it came, so I fried up some bacon for it as well since my girls love bacon ;-)

We got glitter at Target for Ultimate Slime. Shoot, I knew you'd want the recipe. I'll have to come back and post that. This one had foaming facial cleanser and body foam to make it fluffy.

Girls making slime

I proofread on Aron's laptop in there since I broke mine. Don't ask (but I will say that my book I'd been working on forever may very well be lost, and I'm strangely okay with that, like I got a message to slow down). Oh, and I also lost my wedding ring last week. It was not a great week. I could use some prayers about the ring!

SUNDAY
I slept later than I have in probably a year (almost 9 a.m.!!!) and got up to proofread. I painted the girls' toenails bright pink, and they played Sandbox on their Kindles, watched some shows on their Kindles, read, played with slime and were kind of bored. I did a lot of dishes plus more laundry than should be allowed by law, made some fun food for the week like lime rice with Ranch and cumin, listened to gunshots, and stared out at our property. Luckily it was not a great pool day :-)

Joel, who has his own car now, left the campsite to hit two graduation parties to celebrate three of his friends. One was homeschooled all the way through, one was most of the way until senior year, and one went to regular school until senior year, when she was homeschooled. See, we have a diverse group of peeps, and it's clear "school" comes in many shapes and sizes!

This was actually taken Saturday after we dropped Sam back off. I hate saying goodbye to my family but I love when they go on adventures together!

I made Taco Soup for dinner. I also made two tater tot casseroles and froze them since I knew I would need something to take to TWO different potlucks on Wednesday (homeschool co-op field day and Theology of the Body for Teens final party). I did all this while watching The Real Housewives of Miami on Hulu because it doesn't take a lot out of my brain. I also get some weird sort of pleasure out of cooking and eating while watching women who probably barely eat so they can stay super skinny, which is not one of my main priorities in life.

At 6:30 the 24-hour challenge was over and so we had some taco soup (see recipe above) and left at 7 for 7:30 Mass. It felt weird going to church so late!

Eva did not want to quit the 24-hour challenge. I think it would be a great thing to do again in the winter, but not all 5 kids at once!

Callie made Daddy's closet her little haven. Yes, that's a fireproof box and no, there's nothing exciting in it besides photo negatives. I once had to call a locksmith because I lost both key to it! And yes, we have a security system for our home, plus cameras plus a gun so, haters, just don't even tell me how dumb I am to post this photo.

FINAL REMARKS
We said no to a lot of things this weekend, but we desperately needed a chill weekend. We needed to sleep and be lazy. I needed to catch up on house things and make homeschool plans and make some meals for the week. Joel attended the graduation parties and represented our family.

So we did not attend the graduation parties as a family like we normally would. We said no to Seussical. No to the dedication of our church (two-hour Mass then potluck) after remodel, which meant no to Callie dressing the altar and no to her singing in the choir and no to two practices for that as well with 40 minutes of driving for each one. No to the twice-a-year family reunion picnic. There were other things and I can't even remember them! Things kept coming up and I just kept saying no.

Instead, I prioritized my girls and honored that they wanted to do this challenge and that it would keep us home. I prioritized my soccer-playing son. I prioritized my home and my sanity for the coming week. We are just coming off a busy season of musical theater and we didn't know what hit us. We had to recover.

I didn't feel as selfish and guilty as I thought I would. I know my peeps understand. If I run myself into the ground, I can't be good for anyone. I'd be a crappy wife, mom, homeschool teacher, co-op teacher/planner, friend, daughter, everything. I'm feeling a pull to TREASURE my family. Also, why would you ever want to leave this? I mean, we prayed for our dream house for so long and we have it ... we need to hang out here as often as possible on our little patch of heaven way down south!

Womanhood Woes: The Difficulty of Balancing Kids and Career

Juggling womanhood can be complicated. While we live in a much fairer society these days, as women
we’re the ones that carry, give birth to and in most cases act as the primary carer for our children. This
is, of course, a wonderful, incredible experience but it can mean we’re constantly living a balancing act.
If you want (or need) to continue working, you have to sort this around childcare. You need to be around
when your child gets sick; you will want days off so you can see them in plays and on sports days. You
will need to drop them off and pick them up from school, extracurricular activities and seeing friends all
around your work. It can be challenging to have it all, but there are some ways you can make it easier.
Here are a few ideas.

Work Part-Time

One thing you could do if you want or need to get back into work after maternity leave is to ask if you
can work part time hours. This allows you to keep up your skills in the workplace but without missing
out on too much time with your children. If and when you do want to get back into full-time work later
down the line, you're already in the swing of things and it's far less of a shock to the system.  If you're
in a position where you don't want or need to go back to work, but don't want to lose your skills either
then why not study? It could be anything from an online neonatal nurse degree to an online psychology,
art or creative writing degree! If it's something you're passionate about and it can help you in your
career path it's worth doing.

Find a Flexible Job

If you have a job which allows you to be flexible with your hours, this is a great way to balance work
and kids. Being the boss of any kind of business is a useful strategy for balancing work and kids as
you get to call the shots. There are all kinds of home based jobs you can earn money from these
days. Take working as a freelancer or blogger for example. You could even set up your own home
business, some ideas include selling items you have made yourself or just buying wholesale and
selling for a profit. It can of course take time for these things to become established and start earning
you regular money, but if you know you want to have children later on, how about doing this part-time
for now and getting established. Then later on, it's a great source of income that you can work around
your family without having to leave the house. If you are only just starting out in your career and know
you want kids in the future, considering this kind of path allows you to get established before your
children come along.

Photo

Wait to Have Children

Waiting a little while until you’re established in your career before having children can be helpful. If you
disrupt an established career by taking time off, you’re far more likely to get into it. Having kids earlier
on can reduce your earnings over a lifetime. Lots of women are waiting until later in life to have kids,
some even going to the extent of having eggs frozen just to ensure they have a backup plan.

How To Inject Some Passion Back Into Your Marriage

Are you experiencing a difficult period in your married life? Don’t worry, it would almost be weird if you didn’t go through at least one difficult spell during your marriage. When you commit to someone for eternity, there are bound to be a few lows along with the highs. What’s important is that you get out of the low points and make the most of all the highs.

For many married couples, there’s always the same problem. After a few years together - normally once you’ve had some kids - the passion between you almost dies out. What was once a burning flame is now barely even a flickering spark. But passion isn’t something that just disappears and never comes back. You can inject some into your marriage by reading this advice:

Image from Flickr

Take A Break From The Kids

You love your kids, obviously. However, you can’t deny that they’re probably the main reason there’s no more passion in your marriage. You never hold this against them because they’re your pride and joy - nothing makes you feel better than seeing your kids do well at school or grow up into respectable adults. Anyway, what you can do is take a bit of a break from them with your husband. Go away for the weekend or have your kids stay with their grandparents. This gives you something you’ve probably not had in years; real, proper, alone time. There’s no need to worry about children bursting into your room or asking you to do something. You haven’t got to plan dinner or work; it’s just the two of you, on your own. Sometimes, this is all you need to suddenly feel that passion once more. You’re free from everything causing stress in your life, and it’s time to spend a day or two with one another, reminding you why you got married in the first place.

Consider A Testosterone Booster

A common cause of this lack of passion can stem from the man in the relationship. Perhaps he just isn’t as excitable as he used to be, which happens to a lot of men as they get older and lose some of their libidos. As such, why don’t you consider a testosterone boosting supplement out there like Tongkat Ali extract? Something like this can improve your husbands T levels, which directly influences their sex drive. Make sure you get the best Tongkat Ali you can find, so it’s potent enough to make a difference. By taking this, your husband will suddenly feel way more passionate, and it can completely transform your marriage. It’ll be like you’re new lovers once more, and the burning flame is truly reignited.

Exercise As A Couple

I’m all for being healthy and trying to exercise regularly/eat well. Speaking of which, if you and your husband start exercising together and working out as a couple, then you’ll be stunned at how much passion this can inject into your relationship. It’s just special to do things together and work towards a shared goal. Plus, there’s the obvious excitement of seeing each other's bodies improve and recognizing the hard work you’ve put in. Trust me, this is a surefire way to set the passion fire alight.

Try these tips if your marriage lacks passion right now. Believe me, it won’t stay like that for long if you follow my advice!

Dave Ramsey's EveryDollar.com Website and App ROCK MY WORLD

Okay, so I listen to Dave Ramsey's podcasts every time I walk and also at the pool. I am soaking in the info, friends. So when he talks about the EveryDollar app, I got it right away. But I don't love it on the phone because the phone is so ... teeny tiny.

Last month I went to EveryDollar.com and used my sign-in info and BAM ... huge screen full of wonderful information and percentage breakdowns of how much we are spending on what. I knew that the bulk of our money was not going to Prada bags and Jimmy Choo shoes, and instead to THE BIG THREE of a big family:

HOUSING

TRANSPORTATION

FOOD

I have budgeted in Excel for many years and before that on paper. This takes it to a whole new place. Starting July 1 I logged every expense we have in our household. The first month was a learning month and it went pretty well. But it is an amazing ACCOUNTABILITY TOOL.

I like that it's customizable. I didn't want our car insurance on the INSURANCE category so I put it on transportation instead so it would give us a more accurate picture of our transportation category.

Debt pay-down ... I put in the total amount of our van payoff. After I talk to Children's Mercy Hospital about financial aid I will be able to put in the amount due for medical debt. I could not figure out how to put the $16,000 we owe on our van into DEBT and also keep it as a TRANSPORTATION cost. Also, I couldn't figure out how to add the total owed on our van at all but it would be neat to watch it go down every month. Still, it's not that imperative. I have a spreadsheet with all the interest rates and stuff and I'm sure the programmers of EveryDollar will be making improvements and additions based on feedback from people like us! There is a paid version but I'm not sure what it can do exactly yet.

Check out the percentages on this fake budget I set up:

Also crazy cool is that you can click on BABY STEPS and it shows you the steps to financial freedom. The first step is making sure you have $1,000 in an emergency fund. Okay, we have that much in a savings account but it is really earmarked for our kitchen remodel so I wouldn't count it for that.

*Programmers, please find a way to get due dates in there. Just because I can see how much I will make in a month and how much I owe in a month doesn't mean all that money comes at once. You know that, because you put Paycheck 1 and 2. But I need due dates on my bills to help figure out what expenses are paid out of which check ... maybe make it so I can click and drag items below a certain paycheck to see what I am able to pay and when? I need to know what to pay WHEN.

I 99% use this on my laptop and LOVE IT. It does so much more than my simple Excel spreadsheet could ever do to open my eyes to what we are making, what we are spending it on, and how we can pay off debt and save up for things like vacations.

Highly recommended to get your head out of the sand!

The Kerrie Show Summer Reading List 2018

**Audiobooks count as reading (to yourself and also to your kids)!**

August 24, 2018 UPDATE: Finished Beartown, Once Upon a Secret (Mimi Alford), Ultimate Makeover (Carrie Gress), and Teaching From Rest (Sarah McKenzie)  and starting Perfectly Yourself: Discovering God's Dream for You.

Ah, summer is coming! This year instead of a photo of a stack of books on my dining room table at my home in Overland Park, Kansas you get a photo of a stack of books on my deck facing my POOL and POND in Peculiar, Missouri! Yes, we have moved, in case you have not heard. We somehow got a place with lots of water (good thing the kids can all swim!), and we LOVE water!

I am hoping and praying for lots of great lazy mornings by the pool reading to myself then later reading lots of books to the kids while we break for lunch (I call this sneaking in homeschooling/learning ... woo hoo!). I'll be posting a list of books we want to read this summer for our homeschool as well over at Homeschooling Mommybot. I'll get you the link once it's up.

I love making reading lists! I don't do so hot at FINISHING my list, just so you know. But hopefully my list will inspire you to read something great and come back here to share! I'd love to see a link to your summer reading list!

Here are photos and links to my last few years of Summer Reading Lists.


Here's the link to the Summer 2015 Reading List (sorry the photo is a little small but it gets blurry if I make it larger). I actually ended up talking more about this list in the 2016 Reading List post.

Here is the link to the Summer 2016 Reading List

Here are the 8 I am tackling this summer and I'll check back in with a post about each one later on. Keep in mind audiobooks count as "reading" a book in my world ... you are still taking in the content into your brain. I have one of these books in print from the library and on loan as an audiobook from the library for free so I can switch back and forth when I'm going on a walk and need audio versus when I force myself to sit down and read a physical book.

1. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb. Discovered this author a long time ago, as in, pre-Aron and pre-kids days.
2. The Read-Aloud Family. Not just a homeschooler book, trust me. READ TO YOUR KIDS! They love it! It sparks wonderful discussions and that counts as reading comprehension better than anything else.
3. Driven to Distraction. I've said it before that I'm pretty sure I have ADD, but it's not debilitating and I still get things done. I mean, I get a lot of things HALF done, and then finally, after years, enough half things have accumulated accidentally that I have finished things like homeschooling a grade, writing a book, cleaning a closet.
4. Perfectly Yourself: Discovering God's Dream for You by Matthew Kelly. This one was free from someone at coop.
5. Beartown. My friend Jill recommended this one and I immediately bought it because Jill knows books. She really should have a book review blog but I don't know where she'd find the time between being the homeschooling mom of five and teaching yoga. Finished this book June 3, 2018. Had not read fiction in a long time and enjoyed it. Hard to get into for me, but then I was hooked. Then I realized we were dealing with a heavy subject that triggers me but I kept going anyway. Turns out a sequel is coming out soon. Count me in.
6. Theology of the Body for Teens. This one is not pictured, but my oldest has been going to a group to hear about this subject for 3 years and my next oldest for a year. In the fall, my THREE oldest kids will be going. It's amazing stuff. Instead of TELLING your kids "don't have sex before marriage" ... this class and book explain WHY. We have no problem talking about sex at my house, but their teacher really gets into the why of waiting. The why of being friends before diving into a relationship, etc. I get sick of elementary school kids talking about having boyfriends and girlfriends. It sounds ridiculous and where does it even come from? You don't hear that kind of stuff at our homeschool coop, which has almost 100 kids. Anyway ... check it out.
7. When Children Love to Learn. A great homeschooling book I'm looking forward to.
8. A Life That Says Welcome. This one is by Karen Ehman and it was recommended over at Homeschool Sisters on their summer reading list, which you should really check out!

If you are a writer, parent or someone who EATS and are looking for something to add to your summer reading list, consider MY books, here, both of which are available as print books and in Kindle format ... AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO OWN A KINDLE TO GET THEM! You can "follow" me as an author on Amazon if you never want to miss an update or new book! Both are free on Kindle Unlimited (just $9.99 a month and you can read all you want; check out 10 at a time!)

PLEASE leave me a comment with your book recommendations!