Taking Kids to Church ... Yes or No?

Today is Sunday. Aron is out of town. I am in charge of six people aged 10 and under. Do you think I will be attending Mass? No. Here's why:

1. Sam and Eva can't make it through an entire Mass anyway, so I end up in the vestibule (that's entryway to you non-fish-eaters; Catholics have cool words for normal things and that's why I signed up) or down in the nursery.

That's about it. I don't wanna leave the other 4 kids alone in church ... you know they will act like fools without my adult guiding presence!

I checked out a friend's blog yesterday and she wrote that her 3-year-old didn't make it through the 3-hour Easter Vigil very well last weekend. I'm like (1) it's at night, the Witching Time and (2) THREE HOURS???????? This is a very brave woman. She would have to be to be pals with me, no?

Every Christmas somebody will ask us if we go to Midnight Mass with our kids. I have to be careful how I answer because my mother-in-law took 5 kids EVERY YEAR (including twins, people). Sit on that one for a moment. Five kids. Every year. Midnight. Church.

So I come up with some diplomatic answer that is not usually, "Are you freaking crazy? Midnight? Five kids? Church? They'd be sleeping all over the floor of the joint, and I might have to join them."

Might not see all my church peeps the next TWO weekends, actually, due to Fishing Trip Mania. Why take the only two kids who don't sit through Mass TO Mass? I know God loves that you just show up. I also know God loves a sane and loving mother to take care of the kids that have been entrusted to her care.

Catholic pals, slam me in the comments about what a heathen I am. I can take it.

Hardly Anybody Came to My Kid's Birthday Party

The Universe kicked my butt today a little bit in the form of Michael's no-kids-came birthday party. I'm tough and can handle stuff like that, but I felt badly for Michael. Here's the thing:

I appreciate the dad who came by with a gift and said his kid had stayed up too late, got up too early and was just a whipped mess. That was cool of him to come by and give a gift and explain. That is a stand-up person.

I appreciate the person who has a long drive and called to say she was having a hard time getting all her kids together.

I appreciate my mom, who called early in the day to say she didn't feel well. We have a pollen issue right now in Kansas that is messing with people.

I appreciate my dad and stepmom, who came. And my mother-in-law, who came. And my cousin Zee, who came. And our daughtersitter, Jordan, who came.

I appreciate my friend who came later.

I appreciate our ex-neighbor, who came later. And my friend who has kids in soccer and is always a maybe. And our other friends who were a maybe.

Otherwise, there were no little kids who came to Michael's actual birthday party. Michael isn't exactly a social kid, but he gets stuff.

I don't appreciate people who decide at the last minute that they just don't want to bring their kid and don't want to call to let anyone know. They are setting a rude example for their children, I think. Being late is one thing. Not showing and not calling after you've said you were coming is another.

I don't appreciate people who have their heads so far up their own butts that they don't care about a simple thing their kid might want to do. They don't write it down anywhere. They totally blow it off so they can sit around and watch TV or go shopping or go out to lunch.

I love my peeps and the peeps of my kids, but be warned: when Joel's birthday party rolls around, I'll be making reminder calls the day before and the morning of, just to be annoying. I was always OCD about this sort of rude behavior; it's worse since I've had kids :-)

*This doesn't include any of my neighbors, by the way, if they are thinking I'm talking about them! I know they told me they had other plans!!!

Normal Moms ...

... don't let their baby sleep on them for naps. Think of all the things I could be getting done around the house rather than hanging out writing and homeschooling and sometimes even watching TV. Today my friend was like, "So Sam slept for 3 hours, how come you didn't make the birthday cakes then? Why are you behind all the time?" And I was like, "He sleeps ON me ... I'm his gatekeeper to sleep. I've done it with all my kids for going on 11 years. I dig it. There's plenty of time to get my stuff done later. And for someone who 'loses' hours a day with her baby sleeping on her, my house looks better and better (= keeping my man happy) and I still get the homeschooling goin' on and still get my writing worked on a little here and there."

... drink a margarita or a beer at the end of a trying day as a travel widow. They don't get uber-excited about the new International Foods iced mocha coffee they just got at the grocery store. Think of the money saved schlepping to Dunkin' Donuts ... gas money, $2.29 per iced coffee, time.

... don't get all depressed when they can't find the Crystal Lite peach bellini and pomtini they saw on a taped episode of Celebrity Apprentice.

... don't go grocery shopping at 10 p.m. on a Friday night (I saw a dad there, too, and a mom with a baby, so I suppose I'm not totally insane) with kids who are all hyped up and acting crazy.

... don't say out loud at the grocery store, "Well, nobody is going to be havin' boom-boom tonight after watching you guys run like banshee heathens all over the store. Sometimes crazy kids are like birth control for other people."

... don't use the show Worst Cooks in America as part of their homeschool curriculum (Joel likes cooking and I'm not great at it, so let's give him some TV Home Ec class!).

... don't get choked up when they think about their sweet little crazy peeps growing up and moving out. I try to stay busy and not think too much about it, and I savor every diaper change and every hug and kiss and "hi, mommy" and "good morning, mommy" and every homeschooling victory and every outing, even if I'm griping sometimes. Normal moms look forward to time to themselves in the future, but I don't usually mind having my entourage with me and know "me time" and "couple time" will come all too soon.

Gotta go ... making cupcakes for Michael's birthday party on Saturday and I have to get a national query (gotta love that word, like a gay magazine submission) out or my new mentor friend will crawl my butt!

Your Butt is Grass and I'm Gonna Mow It

The question for today is: How young is too young to have your kid mow the grass? And do you pay for it?

Joel started mowing our yard a few weeks ago. I was freaked out at first, but we gave him the safety talk, and I'm always outside to watch him while he's doing it in case there is any problem. He likes to do it before Daddy gets home to surprise him. It's AWESOME because ...

1. Aron has more free time to fix stuff, play with the kids, kiss me and maybe even relax a little bit.
2. Aron can be less stressed when activities and other stuff comes up because his yardwork has been done for him.
3. When Aron is out of town I don't have to pay someone $20 to mow our grass.
4. When Aron is out of town I don't have to try to keep the kids safe while I mow the grass myself to save money. I used to mow with my youngest in a sling but Sam is too big for that now, so I couldn't watch him in the front yard and mow at the same time these days.
5. Joel gets to make some money. He gets $5 for the front and $5 for the back. So he's making HUGE money and we are SAVING money. We are essentially SPAVING money (saving while spending).

How old is too young? I know someone who had their son mowing at age 8. I wasn't cool with it until now, and he's almost 11. I guess it depends on the kid. Joel's a little small for his age, and a neighbor walking by was looking at us funny.

And do you pay or is this just part of being in a family? I didn't think Aron would pay him, so when he offered him $10 to do both front and back, I was surprised and glad. When he starts mowing in the neighborhood we'll make him save half for his savings account.

Guest Post: Erica Voll at The Reading Kingdom

Originally posted July 5, 2011 before I had tried the product. Now I'm a few days into it with my daughter Callie and she loves it. The lessons are short enough that she doesn't get frustrated, it's colorful, and she's gaining confidence in reading. What they say below is true that phonics isn't always the answer. It worked for Michael and Joel but Callie just did not want to learn to read. Now she's on board and learning fast, and I'm going to get Eva going on it since she shows interest in learning to read also (they all do it at a different age). There is no shame in heading to a computer program for help, especially if it's the way your kids like to learn! I'm paying $15 per month for the program and can stop anytime. Cheaper than private school! So please check out this guest post from last summer about a product that is great for homeschoolers and for kids in school alike (a lot of kids who are in school like trying out our homeschool computer programs) ...

Homeschoolers: are you looking for a fun way to teach your child to read this summer?

The Reading Kingdom is an online reading program for children ages 4 to 10 that can teach your children to read in as little as 10 minutes a day. The program promotes independent learning with online reading games and modules designed to customize itself for each child.

Phonics Is Not Always the Answer
What makes the Reading Kingdom different from other reading programs is that is integrates 6 skills necessary for learning to read. They are:

Sequencing
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Sounds (phonics)
Meaning
Grammar
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If you are interested in the Reading Kingdom online reading program for your child, or would like to integrate the Reading Kingdom into your homeschooling curriculum, you can let your child learn to read with a free 30-day trial of the Reading Kingdom program.

Connect with the Reading Kingdom
Dr. Marion Blank is always answering your questions about literacy, reading and education. Just “like” the Reading Kingdom on Facebook, and leave a comment so we can help you get the answers you and your child need.