Snooping: Yes or No?

I have a couple of snooping stories from my past, then I'd love for you to weigh in.

Snooping Story #1: I come home one night and my roommate has been digging through my file cabinet and reading my personal journal pages and email printouts. She is ballistic. I'm trying to figure out what I could have written that would have her panties in such a bunch. Then she tells me she's freaking out because I wrote mean things about this mutual frenemy of ours, this chick who in the past had gone after both of our men. She says if I don't tell this chick what I wrote, SHE WILL. I was a bit of a doormat back then and was a tad frightened of this roomie gone wild, so I think I ended up apologizing to everyone involved but didn't feel right about it. I just wanted to keep the peace. Another friend of ours told me I was crazy for doing that and that I should have told Roomie to bug off for snooping. I got a locked file cabinet after that and continued to write what I wanted.

Snooping Story #2: It's the day I got fired from my PR secretary job with no reason given and no notice. In my downtime I had kept a journal on the computer (probably illegal or company property, right?), and in my scramble to get out of there, I had printed off some pages to take with me. Guess what? I left them in the printer! They were about my fellow secretary and how I knew she could get a better job instead of being a lackey for our boss. (she's now the president of a company, so I was RIGHT!). Apparently she read them and put them in a box of stuff to get back to me and hasn't spoken to me since and won't tell me why she's upset, so I can only imagine it's because of what I wrote.

We have probably all snooped, right? It's just that most of us have the sense to act like WE DID NOT! If asked, I will fess up. But otherwise, I don't do anything with the new knowledge BECAUSE I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT!

I know we should be positive and happy and light and try not to trash others. But sometimes when life is sucking, I turn to my journal to reveal my deepest annoyances and don't use my big-girl words. Sometimes I've gone back after a year and deleted petty stuff. The bigger stuff I keep in there to remind me not to let it happen again. I have journals going back 30 years ... and I'm keeping them. My kids can burn them or read them or whatever. They will see me writing petty crap and sex crap and all kinds of things they don't want to know. Tell me why I keep this stuff again? Oh, yeah, because it's who I AM, it shows the evolution of ME. Sue me, I'm a writer, always have been. I own it.

Got any snooping stories or opinions? And what's the difference between putting words out into the Universe about others that are crappy versus writing them down?

Beware of the Sperm!

I tore this out of a parenting magazine last year. It was really appropriate for what we're going through right now. Every month my poor wittle egg is scared of sperm coming at it. Some come with flowers, some with boxes of chocolate, some with little briefcases, some without a job, some with hats on even! Yes, I'm a good wittle Catholic girl who uses NFP (natural family planning), and it has worked for almost 14 years to either avoid or achieve pregnancy when we want. I'm not saying it doesn't STINK sometimes when we are in avoidance mode, but we get by somehow. Having a strong marriage helps out. Oh, and all those other kids to distract us ... and REMIND us of why we aren't quite ready for another yet! They are amazing, and as they grow they need us even MORE ... I want to make sure I'm emotionally and otherwise available to them. Be sure that when we get pregnant again (if!), it's because we are good and ready! Until then, my egg with the bow on it's head will be all freaked out.

The Legalization of Cannabis, Pot, Marijuana, MaryJane

Here's a lovely post for a Sunday morning. Totally appropriate.

So a friend of mine who has never smoked pot before asked me if I ever had and would I ever? I said I think I tried it once when I was 17 but it didn't "take". Knowing me, I didn't do it right most likely. Or else I was around so much of it growing up that I'm immune!!!!!!

Sidenote to this rambling post: I'm not trying to throw my parents under the bus here. I'm not giving details, if you will notice. I am saying to always keep in mind that when you do something, you are part of your kids' story now, good or bad or indifferent. Sure, someday I might write a memoir just for fun and there will be things in there about my childhood that were not rosy. BUT 99% of my childhood rocked, and I know MANY people can't say that. That being said, I realize that I have FIVE little people who might someday talk smack about my parenting skills or even write about me. Might? Who are we kidding? They will. And I get it.

So I said to my friend when she asked if I would ever do it ... well, I kindof yelled at her, I think. I go:

"Is it legal? Then NO, dummy! If you have kids and a life and you do something illegal you are STUPID and SELFISH." My poor friend won't let me live it down that I have called her stupid in advance. I'm just saying that my kids and my husband mean TOO MUCH to me to be doing something like that, something I could go to jail for.

There are people I know who think that I think that I am the most amazing mother ever and they are just waiting to take me down. I do NOT think I am the most amazing mother ever. And I will NOT be doing pot. I rarely, rarely drink. I don't smoke. OK, maybe I speed sometimes in the mommyvan when we're late to a kid activity, but I probably won't go to jail or lose my kids over that. Until pot is legal, I ain't doin' it. I ain't supportin' it. If you whip out a joint in front of me, I'm outta here. PLUS, I think it kills brain cells, and my kids have already taken enough of mine. I can't afford to lose the 2 I have left!

AND, all I need is for something to happen to one of my kids and I drive them to the ER and I'm asked what happened, and I'm like, "Uh, well, I don't really know, dude, you see, cuz, like, uh, I'm totally baked off my butt, hee hee he eeee, got any munchies?" There's a reason they call it BAKED: you are frying your brain, dummy! Well, maybe. Jury's out on that one because I know people who have done a LOT of pot and they are totally smart and with-it.

Another friend of mine is active in the campaign to legalize cannabis. Cool. Why not? Porn is legal and it's tearing apart marriages daily. Alcohol is legal and we have drunks all over the place wrecking cars and lives. Cigarettes are legal and people are still giving themselves and their children lung cancer and lowering their immune systems. Prescription meds are legal and people are checking out every day on those. The world is a freaking mess. I'll stick with my chocolate and coffee, thanks very much, morons!

Discuss amongst yourselves and in the comments section of my bloggy. Have fun, potheads!

Positive Thinking, Deflecting Crap

One day I got sick of being negative in my mind about some people who have been actively trying to be detrimental to my family's life. Sorry for the big crazy words, but I have to be careful what I say here and how I phrase it.

So I decided to write some words on our deck that everyone could see. Isn't living well the best revenge? And we are truly living well, we are happy, we have a good marriage, we have health and a great family and everything we need. We need to be grateful.

Later I added PRAY and LEARN. We live on a busy corner and it's my hope that people walking or driving by can see my inspirational words. Being mean and negative back to someone is what they want. They want you to wallow with them. Don't do it! What words would you add to my deck or write on your own?

14 Valentine's Day Traditions in The Village Family

Valentine's Day is coming up soon, so please head to The Village Family and check out my latest offering: 14 Valentine's Day Traditions!