How to Annoy Your Child

When your child bites into their french fry and accidentally chomps his finger so hard that it bleeds, make sure that as you bandage it up you say something like, "Baby, your finger is not a french fry. I keep telling you that."

You see, I think laughter is the best medicine. My parents taught me that, especially my dad. He's quite the cutup. They annoyed me on a regular basis, like the time I was dating a guy twice my age and they kept paging me (hey, it was the 1990s) with callback numbers to places like seedy motels and old folks' homes. Yeah, they were a regular Laurel and Hardy, my parents. Kinda still are.

The Duggars and What's Really Important

I love watching the Duggars with my kids. I get opportunities to teach my kids about things like owning your own used car business, owning rental property and trusting God to help you through any situation (like having a million babies).

I teach them that going to college is not the most important thing AT ALL. Sure, my husband went to college, but he was in his late 20s when he knew what he wanted to do and then paid for it himself and has been an employed engineer for the last 14 years. I didn’t go to college and am a money-making writer and homeschool teacher. Their 3 uncles didn’t go to college and run successful businesses. My dad didn’t go to college and got to retire successfully from the post office at age 55.

Most of all, I love that watching the Duggars teaches them that the road less traveled can be the most amazing and thrilling journey. I don’t get upset thinking of Michelle Duggar having another baby like some people do. While the haters are sitting on their butts reading about the Duggars in People Magazine while getting ready to take their kids to daycare, the Duggars are raising kind, smart, successful human beings on their own while taking NOTHING back from society (like welfare, food stamps, unemployment).

And the argument that those “poor” older kids have to help out around the house and with the younger kids makes me laugh. THOSE particular haters are the ones who can’t fathom getting their kid to do a chore around the house, let alone teaching their kid to care about other, younger human beings.

The Duggars should be applauded. I also watch junk like The Real Housewives of [every single city] and enjoyed the Beverly Hills episode where a 4-year-old child was MIA from most of her $60,000 birthday party because it was so obnoxiously over the top.

Really, Society? We’re supposed to value STUFF and APPEARANCE over people?

Smithsonian Triops Kit Honest Review

Update July 2024: This was originally posted in December of 2010, and since then it has been my most popular post ever (I'm not sure why ... maybe I accidentally did some badass SEO). My kid is now 21 and headed to his sophomore year of college to become a mechanical engineer and he is rocking life. And if you're looking for a fun triops kit, check out this Deluxe Triops Kit on Amazon!

Do Not Buy Smithsonian Triops Kit (aka Sea Monsters)!

We bought one at Michael's for Michael (haha) when he was going through a hard time with his OCD. He was so excited to watch these things hatch and to care for them. We tried both batches and nothing happened. The kit was over 10 bucks, which is a lot of money for a little kid to save up from an allowance.

I wrote the company asking if these are for real. They sent me a new set of eggs with a set of instructions with typos that looked like a 7-year-old had written them (no offense to 7-year-olds).

We cared for these two different sets, making sure we followed the instructions and kept them warm, etc. Nothing happened again. Sure, I was skeptical ... how do you freeze-dry something or however they come and then put them in water and they come to life? Let's do that with humans, wanna?!

Too bad for the Smithsonian Institution that they put their name on a crappy product. Too bad for Michael's that they sell this piece of crap product. We're hoping Santa brings sea monkeys for Michael ... I've heard better things about those!!!

Do Not Buy Smithsonian Triops Kit (aka Sea Monsters)! They are sold under many different names in all sorts of stores and online. UPDATE: I do recommend Sea Monkeys ... they always hatch for us and are SUPER CHEAP. Ours came from Toys R Us but I'm sure you can get them all over the stinkin' place.

Good luck, and let me know how yours turned out. I enjoy your comments, even the ones calling me a moron because I couldn't get them to hatch :-)

Updated April 2013 ... I always love reading the comments on this post and wonder why it is one of most popular ... why are so many of you Googling this topic?! Anyway, the reason I was so upset about this product not working (and we did everything right TWICE) was because my kid was disappointed, and am a Super Mama Bear.

I hope you'll forgive me for being a Triops Moron and check out some other fun stuff on my site ... my kids and husband can be QUITE entertaining!!!!!

And if growing triops makes you hungry, check out my book The Tater Tot Casserole Cookbook ... maybe I can't grow a triops very well, but I can make dinner and dessert and live to write about it! And my kids and their friends even like the stuff!

The 2010 McLoughlin Family Christmas Letter

CHRISTMAS SEASON 2010


Dear Family, Friends, Neighbors and the Blogosphere,

Merry Christmas! Here’s what’s been going on in our McLives:



Joel's Zoo

 Joel (4th grade, 9 years old) started the year out right by winning 2nd place in our Scouts Pinewood Derby race, then moved up to Webelos I in the summer after he and Daddy went to Scout camp. He loves his gymnastics class, socializing any chance he can get, and took a class on making sushi. After Lilly the Hamster died (soon after he got her and within hours of spending $60 on a vet bill!), he got Daisy the Hamster, and she’s doing great. He enjoyed volunteering with Meals on Wheels and at Harvester’s with Scouts and would go back every day if he could. Over the summer he started going down the massive wicked huge straight slide at Young’s Pool, something Mommy is afraid to do because it would probably make my swimsuit split me in two.

Michael orchestrates the putting up of the tree

Michael (2nd grade, 7 years old) won 1st place in our pack in the Scouts Pinewood Derby for siblings. Like Joel, he’s in a gymnastics class, but unlike Joel he isn’t in love with socializing! He does, however, trot across the street to the school for his Lego Robotics class. As far as swimming prowess, he now goes off the diving board and hit all the slides at all our pools. The kid can make ANYTHING out of paper and recently made a flying ambulance (#42, OPFD, the one that took me and Sam to the hospital!) complete with angel wings!

Daddy made Cal's closet polka dotted!

Callie (kindergarten, 5 years old) did gymnastics for a while this year but is more of a singing, dancing, drama kind of girl. She loves makeup and swimming and being a girly girl. There’s also a broken-down, worn-out dress she loves that is getting all holey, and it’s been worn so much I think I just saw it walk out the front door. Her nickname is “Grandma Wrinkles” because of her selective hearing and, yes, I have taken her for multiple hearing tests. She honestly doesn’t hear you calling her until you say, “Hey! Little Grandma!” She also loves her new room with 3 turquoise walls and 1 purple (finger-painted on by everyone) wall. She got Rose the Hamster as a 5th birthday pet because we have commitment issues with getting a dog! She’s also turning into a little artist like her brothers.



Eva loves her 1956 baby doll crib

 

Eva (3 on December 6th) continues to be a happy and crazy girl. You can find her making messes with things like honey, chocolate syrup and soap, and then you can find her washing dishes, recycling and “sitting on the pot” all by herself. She has a perfect round belly that I just want to bite! I nursed the girl for almost 3 years and now you can find her in her Drunken Bottle state sacked out on the couch with her bottle of chocolate milk hanging out of her mouth (yes, I know I’m a bad mom, and I brush her teeth often to make up for the copious amounts of sugar). She is always caring for her babies, and if the girl doesn’t grow up to have 10 kids I will be shocked.



Safety first in the woodshop!

 Sam turned 1 in October and is walking and talking, climbing stairs and recently learned to go down. He likes to climb the boys bunk bed ladder and hang out in the woodshop with his dad and wishes he could carry around scissors and a screwdriver all day. Mommy sees many problems with this, though … which leads to him throwing himself down on the floor in the cutest little fits! What little hair he has just may turn out to be reddish … we love us some gingies (Ginger-haired kids).

3 boys and 3 girls!

I have to give a nod to our extra named Jordan. She is 13 and goes to Holy Cross Catholic School and has been invaluable as a helper to our family. She plays the flute and piccolo, volleyball, and helps out at a vet’s office. The kids are in love with her and wish we could adopt her. Aron and I don’t think she’s so bad, either! 

Aron is Den Leader for Cub Scouts, a Religious Ed teacher, Lego Robotics coach, Master Fisherman and superfine dad and husband. I know it sounds pukey, but when you still dig someone 15 years after meeting him, you have to tell the world! As usual, he traveled some for work. His poor wood projects gathered (saw)dust as he put our 3rd bedroom to use, turning it into a room for the girls to sleep in their bunk bed. His reward was to get a shiny red HUGE truck which gets about 2 miles to the gallon, but it's cool!

I’m still homeschooling, writing, scrapbooking, cussing and mothering. My life consists of going to the pool, parks, field trips, indoor play areas, etc. We made it to Branson with my dad’s family this year, then went to Colorado to visit Garden of the Gods, Focus on the Family, the North Pole, Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, Rocky Mountain National Park for some hiking, and Grand Lake. Field trips this year for “school” (it’s so much fun I hate to call it that!) included Channel 5, Overland Park fire station, Downtown Airport, Harvester’s, a recycling center in KCK, Lakeside Nature Center, and multiple trips to the zoo.

We’re praying everyone has the best year ever in 2011. Take care of yourselves and of each other.

Love from Aron, Kerrie, Joel, Michael, Callie, Eva and Sam McLoughlin

The Mac Family Update Part Five (A Routine)

Just when you thought I was the strangest combination of Type A meets Hippie, I go and tell you that I’m working on a FAMILY ROUTINE. Yes, the crazy finally got to me and I ordered a couple of books called Managers of Their Homes (the writers are from Leavenworth, Kansas, which isn’t too far from my neck of the woods) and A Mother’s Rule of Life.

Both of these were written by homeschooling moms with big families, so they know my special circumstances. They know how to fit everything into their day, including homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, chores, errands, time with their spouse, time with their kids, time with their friends and other family members, time for special projects like sewing or scrapbooking or writing and yes, even time with God. It’s an awesome concept that works for many, many women.

You'd die laughing if you could see me cutting up tiny squares to put into slots for every half hour of the day for all 7 members of my family.

Now let’s see how it works for me. Hmmm.