Christmas Picture Out-takes

With a big family, it's hard to find the perfect time to get everyone dressed up with a smile on their face and antlers on their head. Our official Christmas photo that we're sending out has Sam nursing and you can't even see his face, but everyone else looked decent. And we had to bribe Eva with a candy cane to even get her to sit down, and you can just forget about those dang antlers. So here are a couple of the out-takes for those who enjoy Christmas pictures.

English as a Screwy Language (ESL)

My friend teaches English as a Second Language, so I know she'll appreciate this one.

So in what universe does "ph" sound like a "v"? Apparently in this one, where the name STEPHEN sounds like SteVen. I should know; it's my son's middle and my dad's first name.

How come once you get to the number TEN, then you don't go Oneteen? Why do we have eleven, twelve, thirteen and fifteen when the rest of the teens are more logical? Why not oneteen, twoteen, threeteen and fiveteen?

Mom and I love when words are screwed up by people. Our current is "volumptuous". As in: Kerrie McLoughlin is volumptuous.

We also like "immaculant". As in: Kerrie's house will never be immaculant.

Gimme some more messed-up words, and be sure to use them in a sentence, Class!

Have a nice week. I'm taking it off to pursue Christmas Craziness.

Water Fun to Buy Some Time

People wonder how I deal with the younger kids while I homeschool the older ones. This picture shows one way: set Eva up at the kitchen sink on a chair and turn on the water. Throw in some plastic dishes that need to be washed, and you have one occupied 2-year-old. Sure, I have to change her wet shirt at the end of the session, but the Water Fun tactic usually buys me about 5 minutes to homeschool, which is like gold.

Oh, and thank you to the readers who told me to write about what I want to write about and not cater to everyone else. Good advice. And the hodge-podge blogging continues ...

A Silver Christmas Tree!!! (and parental divorce)

Over the weekend my stepdad brought this aluminum tree over for me. His mom hits auctions and estate sales and sells on eBay, so she finds some really cool stuff. They think this tree might even be from the 1940s. It's the perfect size since I can't get Aron to commit to a full-size aluminum tree. This way, I get my very own little silver tree. My own little retro piece of fun. I teared up when he brought it over. Callie said, "It's so pretty I just wanna nurse it!"

I was heartbroken when my parents divorced when I was in my late twenties, but I must say they are now both happy and have married very wonderful and thoughtful people.

Target Sucks

I just heard a Target commercial where the mom is telling the kid her Christmas presents before she gets a chance to open them. I also keep seeing a commercial on TV where the kid tells her parents they spent too much on her presents and that she's been a bad girl. Her parents tell her they didn't spend too much (they went to Target).

Unfortunately, my kids saw and heard these commercials, as well, and you should have seen the look on their faces. It was like, "Um, did I just see that? Should I act like I didn't? Is Santa real? What the hell is going on?"

Target sucks. Didn't I hear something about WalMart blowing it for kids last year in their commercials, as well?