Shopping with Kids at Target

I promised myself I would not venture near Target for a month because I always spend too much money there. Alas, a couple of last-minute kid birthday parties came up (does nobody plan ahead anymore? One party was for the next day!), so I headed for Target since it’s close and convenient and easy to find stuff. Yes, I took all 4 kids plus the one I’m cooking in my belly.

FYI: This is the Target where that 18-year-old girl was taken and met her untimely demise, so why I even go there at all is beyond me. But Target is like my own personal heroin, and I can’t seem to stay away.

We grabbed some Bakugan stuff for the boy party and some art stuff for the girl party. Do you ever just want to forego shopping and wrapping altogether and just give each birthday party honoree kid $10 cash? I totally want to do that.

Why do they have bathing suits out in January yet no Crocs in March?

On the way out I pass a cute sleeveless retro dress and I say to the kids, “I could’ve worn that before I acquired my amazing Popeye arms that hold babies so well.”

I managed to find several things I “need” before hitting the checkout. I’m sure you know how that is, unless you are perfect and all Zen and crap. And if that’s the case, you probably don’t have little kids. So there.

Also on the way out, the kids are trailing behind me and I can’t even see them, yet I’m yelling, “Don’t touch that.” You have to keep up that “eyes in the back of the head” thing. I always said my mom had “detective ray ears” … now I know I just have a loud mouth!

Do You Eat at the Grocery Store?

The day before Easter I took Eva, Callie and their friend to the grocery store. I had a Ho-Ho craving, and got a box and dug in, giving each girl one and sharing 2 with myself. The little friend was incredulous and asked, “Can you do that?”

I said, “I just did.”

She said, “Will you get in trouble?”

I said, “I never have.”

She goes, “Are you going to pay for it?”

I said, “Of course! I’m many things, but thief is not one of them. We do it all the time. If I didn’t feed my kids while we shopped, there would be mass chaos and total meltdown on their part AND mine.”

So my question to you is this: Do you feed your kids while you shop? You know, open a box of Teddy Grahams when you first arrive so your kid will be happy?

Lazy Legal Troubles

I swear I am not making writing mistakes just to amuse you! This one I made to save you from future legal battles, and it’s something I should have known better.

All I did was go to Amazon.com and searched for any book or e-book with “lazy” in the title since I figured I was writing an e-book and that’s all I needed to do. How flippin’ lazy of me :-)

Instead I found out from my friend over at Mrs. Hannigan’s Home for Girls AFTER I published my e-book called “The Lazy Mom’s Guide to Life” that there’s a web site called Lazy Moms: The Lazy Mom’s Guide to Life. I figured since only the “Lazy Moms” part had a TM by it, it was the only trademarked part and I went on with my life.

Then I got an email from a lawyer (I researched it a little and the lawyer shares a last name with one of the “lazy” moms … “lazy” in quotes because these women look too good to be one bit of lazy). Good thing it came on a Friday because I only have Internet access on weekends and he said something about time being of the utmost importance. Here’s the e-mail I got:

Dear Ms. McLoughlin:

I represent the owners of Lazy Moms and the Lazy Mom's website, http://www.lazymoms.com. My clients have claimed a proprietary interest, and corresponding intellectual property rights, in and to the Lazy Mom's concept, name and website. My clients have taken the necessary and appropriate steps to protect those rights and interests, including the assertion of trademark and copyright protections concerning the concept, website, site content and name which includes "The Lazy Mom's Guide to Life" and affiliated content as has been reflected, with all proper copyright and trademark claims, on the Lazy Mom's since mid-January, 2009.

My clients have become aware of a competing commercial interest under the name or title, "Lazy Mom's Guide to Life" that, through the internet, appears to have been written and marketed by you on your website, http://www.thekerrieshow.com/, and elsewhere (for example, http://store.payloadz.com/str-asp-i.238999-n.The_Lazy_Mom_s_Guide_to_Life_eBooks_Parenting-end-detail.html# - product added March 10, 2009). We believe this e-book and use of the lazy mom's name/concept are in violation of the clearly stated and properly-asserted intellectual property rights of my clients who have taken all necessary precautions to comply with federal intellectual property laws and make proper assertions of federal law protections for their site, site content, the "Lazy Mom's" concept and name.

I send you this e-mail on behalf of my clients as a courtesy, to ask that you immediately remove your e-book and any "lazy mom's" concept from your website (and any other web locations) to ensure no further infringement of my client's intellectual property rights occurs. I invite you to call me if you have any questions about this and to e-mail me with confirmation that this has occurred. Time is of the essence, and wish to caution you to fail not hereof under penalty of law.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
David H. Herrold

I had to take down the book cover and link from both my blogs and now will have to remember where else I pimped it. Then I figured out a new gimmick, a new title. And I Googled the hell out of it first.

I wrote the lawyer back and told him I’d work on changing my “lazy” ways, but that it might take some time since I’m growing a 5th human being and homeschooling in my spare time.

Just Another Saturday

Okay, I had a lame post up about Portland Family Writer's Guidelines, but that's dumb since I'm working on an e-book of parenting publication writer's guidelines anyway. Plus it's boring for my regular readers. So I'm whipping out a random post here ... got to see the baby yesterday on the sonogram screen ... kicking like crazy already. It's always cool to see that, no matter how many kids you have. Joel's at his First Communion Retreat, and Aron forgot the unleavened bread I slaved over (yeah, right, I'm posting the recipe soon because it's so easy), so I'll have to rally the troops when they wake and run that up to the church. Short post, but anything's better than writer's guidelines, right?

A Thursday Night

It’s 6:30. The baby has taken a late nap (on me, of course) so I’m just now getting to dinner. Aron called earlier to say he’d be home at 6:30. He’s not home.

I’m working on making tacos. Eva is pissy (mirroring her Pissy Pregnant mother perhaps?) and wants to be held, wants a drink, wants to be fed. I take care of all this. Joel asks if he can help. I consider doing the usual: asking him to feed the baby applesauce so I can make dinner without her 30 pounds on my hip. Every time I put her down, she squawks.

Instead I tell him, “Thank you for offering, but no. YOU didn’t make this baby, your dad and I did. It’s OUR responsibility to take care of her.”

Joel says, “But she’s my sister.”

I say, “Yes, and you help a lot with her, and I appreciate it all. You carry her down the stairs when she wants to be with you guys. You play with her so I can make meals. You entertain her in the van. You are a great brother and will make a great dad. I’ll always need your help around the house and with the kids, but it’s not your responsibility to care for the other kids.

When I ask you to babysit them when you are older, I will always pay you. I never want you to feel like their 2nd father. Just be a kid. And if I forget and slip into making you do too much (like after the new baby comes), remind me of what I just said. I’ve known too many women who wouldn’t let their oldest kid go do anything because the oldest kid was ‘too much help to [the mom]’. I think that’s wrong. My opinion is that people should not have kids if they can’t care for them themselves.”

So I didn’t have time to make dinner very well, but I could darn sure stop to give a soliloquy to my son with the baby on my hip.

Edited on 4/18/09 to post comment response:
Eva ... we will just have to disagree on this one. As an only child I was given an allowance and had many responsibilities, and as the kids take on more responsibilities around the house, I give them allowance so they'll know how money works in the world. You work = you get paid. Too many people don't get that concept! They certainly won't make big bucks to babysit, and mowing is gonna be part of their chores/allowance. I do agree kids are given too little responsbility these days, though. BUT I don't want my kids NOT wanting kids because they had to parent their sibs. When I babysat for families around the neighborhood, I got paid. That's why I think my kids should get paid to watch their siblings ... even a couple of bucks. I just think too many parents abuse the "help" of their older kids and end up only seeing those older kids as "the help." I've seen it too much, and it makes me sad.