I'm Not Going to Cry When He Leaves

Written 8/3/08 Sunday night

Tonight starts Week 12 of what was supposed to be a 10-week travel schedule.

I’m not going to cry this time when I watch his truck drive down the road toward the airport.

I’m not going to go buy a pack of cigarettes and then only smoke one and give the rest to a homeless woman in Albuquerque (I’ll tell that story another time).

I’m not going to make an amaretto sour.

I’m not going to make cookie dough.

I’m going to do something productive: wrestle with the kids, work on that article about how hotels need to go “green”, mow the grass, tackle the 2-foot (seriously) stack of papers on my desk.

Later … instead of all that we all 5 packed into the van and drove to Aron’s* work to post blog entries and look up facts about rocks for Joel. Someone had brought in a ton of peaches for anyone to take, so we took a dozen to make cobbler and give a few to my mom (my stepdad hates fruit, isn’t that strange?!).

Someone had stolen my husband’s mouse off his desk. He’s been there almost 10 years and people still swipe his stuff! Someone also took his chair a few weeks ago. I told him to carve his name into the underside of the next chair he loves so he can hunt it down and kill whoever takes it. It’s things like that that make me REALLY glad I’m not in the working world anymore!

I am now going to break something to all of you that may come as a shock. Deep breath. Here it is: I AM NOT PERFECT. Whew. Felt good to get that out. On a SUNDAY, no less, (more on our Sunday blue laws some other time), I took us to McDonald’s for fries and Cokes. Comfort food. I am a bad mother, but we were all fat and happy for the few hours until bedtime.

*yes, I’m letting down my paranoid guard about revealing names

"Stuff" Bulimic

Okay, so I’m reading “Inspiration” by Wayne Dyer. I’ve only read a few pages and I got inspired to clean my basement like a crack whore. A. was making dinner tonight and watching all the kids. So I went to the basement to do laundry and didn’t return for half and hour (what a good wife!).

I’m inspired to clear out all the crap we don’t ever use or even touch. A few months ago I picked up a Little Tykes kitchen from next to a Dumpster and I want to make a teensy play area in our unfinished weensy basement.

Here are some examples of what I’m going through:

-- Holiday items. Would Christmas be Christmas without so much STUFF? Are you kidding me?! It would be AWESOME! It would so much more stress-free! A tree and a few ornaments is all I need. And folks, forget about a Christmas letter this year. You’re reading it. The blog is more up-to-date and more “real.” You get the straight poop on our lives, not just the happy little highlights!
-- How many colors of white paint exist? I think we own them all. Not sure what can goes to what trim or wall, but we’re prepared. Can’t get A. to part with them. Grrrr.
-- Kid stuff. A booster chair for when kids outgrow the high chair, a walker thing to walk behind to help teach them to walk, a donated carseat for when Eva gets bigger, a tiny bouncy seat for our potential next baby (don’t freak out if you just read that, Mom!), a hamster cage and wooden maze A. built for our dead AND for our possible future hamster.

If all that made sense to you, you have a bigger problem than I do.

Sorry, I know this is supposed to be a blog about Attachment Parenting and homeschooling, etc., but I had to get all this off my ample chest.

Closin' Time

Ah, “Closin’ Time.” What a lovely, philosophical song. I wish I had the smarts to put a link to the song here. Anyone know how to do that? Anyway, they play this song at our favorite pool at 8 p.m. to let everyone know to clear out. Some of our favorite lyrics:

· “Finish your whiskey or beer.” — I always ask the kids if they are done with their beer or if they want to take it in a to-go sippy cup.*

· “I know who I want to take me home.” — They know I’m the DD (designated driver), plus I’m the only one who can see over the steering wheel.

· “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” — We usually go to the park or grab ice cream before going home because we’re still in the mood to party.

· “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” So true. A baby comes from pregnancy. A better job (hopefully) follows a crappy job. A new day comes from yesterday.

Speaking of music, has anyone seen a middle-aged musician guy named Dan Zane on TV? He has cool, stick-up hair. When we leave the pool or purposely make our hair stick up, we say we have Dan-Zane’s-House-Party-Hair. Since San Diego, though, I call it “beach hair.”

*Don’t call The State on me; I don’t really give my kids alcoholic beverages!!!

Simple Living (I Have Too Much Stuff)

So the first thing I notice when we got home from our 3-week semi-vacation is this: WE HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF.

I have always been a hoarder-in-training; I come by it genetically. I need several of each pantry item (chocolate syrup, flour, ketchup) to feel complete. I also tear out magazine pages for the “just in cases” of life, like:

Household and cleaning tips (ha! Like I’ll ever use those!)
Cooking tips/recipes (again with the ha!)
Homeschool ideas
Things that back up other things I want to write articles about
Paranoid tips (how to stock up for an emergency, what to do if you are a victim of a carjacker)

Since becoming a mom, I have been progressively getting rid of MY stuff. I once had an entire room full of crap. I tackled that, but still have large piles (one on each floor of our split-level) of stuff that does not have a home. Okay, if we’re being honest here, I’ll admit that I have thousands of journal pages in the basement dating back to about 1992 (boy, will my kids have fun sifting through THOSE someday … not. Probably ought to burn them now).

Then my kids started aging, as kids will do. They collect rocks, soda can top thingies, stuffed animals, Pokemon items, coloring books, hotel Styrofoam cups. You name it. Not to mention our homeschooling area in the dining room.

All this stuff (theirs and mine, plus their growing materialism mentality that I am teaching them) is draining my energy and brain space. Just like I walk by A. and get pregnant, I walk by my piles of crap and want to take a nap/turn stupid.

So, dear Reader, join me on my Journey of Purging over the next few weeks. I have GOT to get this place in order before homeschooling starts.

Home from Phoenix

Whew. That was a sigh of relief. It is good to be home! Messy, dirty, papers-everywhere, disorganized, man-my-kids-hoard-a-lot-of-stuff, huge-compared-to-a-two-room-suite HOME.

Saturday’s drive was perilous. On a curvy mountain pass, I saw something ahead of me in my lane and was just going to run it over. THANK GOD I was able to switch lanes without running anyone off the road because the object was a metal ladder … laying crosswise.

Later, I was sitting in the back reading Harry Potter #4 to the kids and heard an expletive come out of my husband, who does not generally cuss. He also swerved over to the left. I looked to the right and saw an RV alongside us, and its front wheels were wobbling. The driver was barely keeping the thing on the road. THANK GOD my Speed Racer husband was able to outrun the RV and get away from it.

Our Homewood Suites in Amarillo, Texas stunk like cow manure, but we got to see prairie dogs again alongside the road.

Hey, who thinks hotels should be going "green"? Man, they waste a lot of stuff, but I'll get into that later ...

Now let's get in our time machine and fast forward to 2022. How I wish I'd had a POGO Pass when I was in Phoenix with my kids! We could have done all sorts of things for one low price using the pass! You can get one for Phoenix by clicking here to use my referral code and a discount. You can also get one for Dallas and Kansas City. Oh, and Las Vegas!