Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Avoid Divorce: Have More Kids

I have such a great marital tip for you that you won't believe it was so simple. The answer is right in front of you! Do you want to know how to avoid a divorce?

Have more kids! Give birth to some, adopt some, get some from a surrogate, foster some. Get 'em however you have to (don't steal 'em, for gosh sake, though!)

So here's the deal: the more kids you have, generally the less money you have. The majority of people in the US are not rich anyway. When I get good and mad at my husband, for instance, all I have to do is try to figure out how we would live in TWO households separately, financial-wise. It can't be done. My stepdad jokes that if we ever divorced, my husband would be living in a box under a bridge (or, more accurately, step-daddy, Aron would be living in his sweet ride, The Beast, the F150 red truck). I probably would not be able to keep homeschooling and would have to put 3 kids in school while doing daycare and taking care of my other 2 little ones. So if I went for a divorce I would be giving up my sweet life.

And yes, it would seem I would love to get rid of 5 kids every other weekend and have some peace and quiet, it is simply not so. I am happy with ONE hour, never mind a weekend. What would I do with myself but get into trouble?

*For those readers with an eagle eye, you saw that I, Kerrie, have a step-parent. I actually have two of 'em. This is not because I am an only child. My parents' divorce happened when I was in my late twenties (it actually finalized around the time of my marriage to Aron ... eek!). So maybe I just shot my own theory down. Dangit, I do that all the time. So, what do you think of my little theory?

8 comments:

  1. Tame and I want a divorce, but neither of us wants the kids- your theory holds water!

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  2. Hmmm... you might be on to something, families in the Golden Age had buss loads of kids... and low divorce rates. Perhaps it was the kids. Perhaps it was women didn't typical have jobs. I have no point. Never mind.

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  3. And for you eagle-eyed men - more babies = more sex. Yeah baby! Or, er, more correctly would be, Yeah babies?

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  4. We have 8 kids, soon to be 9, and my husband jokes that he'd never been able to afford the child support so we'll stay married forever. :) Fine with me. I like him.

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  5. Honestly the worst thing you could do is bring more children or any children into a marriage that has hit the divorce tip. Parents grow resentful of eachother and children end up as pawns, emotionally neglected or scarred, and wouldn't really learn exactly what love is. Marriages are supposed to be based on love not financial dependency or entrapment. If neither or either parent isn't happy the kids will know. Plus it can lead to infidelity in the marriage also setting a bad example of commitment, responsibility, and just genuine good character, morals and values.

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  6. Anonymous, you have GOT to come read my blog more often! I have a wicked sense of humor for sure, and agree that if you already can't stand each other (didn't marry well or skipped the premarital counseling or what?), DO NOT HAVE MORE KIDS! This was a tongue-in-cheek post, and I agree with your points for sure! Thanks for stopping by ... come again! I like your wisdom.

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  7. I found this post hilarious because my husband and I have joked our entire marriage that we couldn't afford to get divorced. We only have four kids now but we've been making that joke since I was pregnant with our 2nd one. lol I too have divorced parents and in my mind divorce has never been an option from the beginning but I get rather alarmed looks from my mom when I make this joke.

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